Brian C's Quotes
Brian C has made 1,371 quotes!
"Well how much money do you have?" "I don't like to talk about my financial situation." - Brian C & Heidi C (09/09/2024)
in dominion
"That's clearly wet." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (08/18/2024)
the cake
"Americans are f**king stupid." "I know. I met you two." - Brian C & Glenn H (07/13/2024)
"Seriously. Who plays an attack card?" "People who have been picking up a lot of poop." - Brian C & Heidi C (07/08/2024)
"I'm pretty good at swallowing quick." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (06/21/2024)
"Are we rooting for white or black?" "Well, it's red." - Brian C & Glenn H (06/17/2024)
"How was the food?" "British?" "Yeah..." - Janny M & Brian C & Michael H (06/13/2024)
"Why are my hands like, it's either gold or s**t?" - Brian C (05/14/2024)
"Yes, you're there. Yes, you're annoying." "Are you talking to me?" - Brian C & Heidi C (03/11/2024)
he was talking to wiki... it's always wiki
"I have five and there's no more Knights to buy. What should I get guys?" "A conscience." - Brian C & Heidi C (03/11/2024)
"And my partner who gave me twenty meld has six." - Brian C (02/24/2024)
"Oh, by the way, I have the small thing." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Heidi C (02/12/2024)
"And by the time I realized it, the damage had been done." - Brian C (01/15/2024)
he got 7 curses
"The Taylor Swift sat on it did it for me." - Brian C (01/11/2024)
"Gives new meaning to starting the new year off with a bang." - Brian C (01/04/2024)
school shooting in the us
"I have four Ruins in my hand." "I'm sorry your hand is ruined." - Janny M & Brian C (12/25/2023)
"I have to admit, Shawn, this package is really nice." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Shawn R (12/24/2023)
nfl package we have
"Oh, and now I'm delusional." "I could have told you that last year." - Brian C & Heidi C (11/14/2023)
"I thought I could just bake it and stick it in." "That's what he said." - Brian C & Heidi C (09/08/2023)
"After two minutes it will be done and you can pull it out." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Helen E (08/25/2023)
making something
"Couldn't they have put the shield back up?" "It took a long time to get it up." "That's what she said. And anyway, that's what fluffers are for." - Janny M & Brian C (08/22/2023)
i think we were watching a movie
"You're fishing for information and it costs you nothing to do it." - Brian C (07/12/2023)
teaching them strategies in pinochle
"If you're targeting Janis' ace..." - Brian C (07/12/2023)
"My entire life got messed up." - Brian C (07/10/2023)
"It's the gift that keeps on giving." - Brian C (07/08/2023)
keeping all your diplomas
"There were a lot of bodies..." - Brian C (06/30/2023)
"Oh my God. I'm so glad I stuck around for that Weedle." - Brian C (05/21/2023)
he lit off a lure and the last pokemon was a weedle
"So that was a gift." "Yeah." "Well, no more gifts." - Steve Bl & Brian C (05/13/2023)
he played a card they were trumping
"Sorry, I didn't want to touch it then stick it in your mouth." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (05/05/2023)
he gave me a candy
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"It sounds expensive as shit." "Money is never an issue for me." "Is that cause you're Jewish?" "Maybe." - Brian C & Heidi C (03/13/2023)
"Wait, am I miserable?" "Mhmm. Is it your first time?" - Brian C & Heidi C (03/13/2023)
"It actually went in smoothly." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (03/10/2023)
the pingo doce keychain card
"I thought you prefer the older Witch." "I do. The young one isn't very destructive. She's too nice." - Brian C & Heidi C (02/25/2023)
"It was in a bedroom." "Even better." - Brian C & Rene Q (02/21/2023)
"I needed two good hands to play." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Heidi C (02/14/2023)
"Yeah, wine is cheaper than alcohol." - Brian C (01/27/2023)
bri was drunk
"Stop giving mean things to me." "It wasn't that mean." - Heidi C & Brian C (01/16/2023)
"Heidi. I wanted to apologize for marrying badly." "I know. You guys were made for each other." - Brian C & Janny M (01/16/2023)
i was attacking
"She actually owns a Province. It's just bird infested." - Brian C (01/16/2023)
"Heidi, do you remember those hands without birds?" "You mean multiple birds?" - Brian C & Heidi C (01/16/2023)
"What the f**k is that?" - Brian C (01/13/2023)
someone's drawing
"I have a small object between my legs that's making me uncomfortable." "Is it your penis?" - Brian C & Heidi C (12/31/2022)
it was lando
"Then just get a Silver." "I don't want a bunch of Silver clogging up my hand; I want Gold!" - Brian C & Heidi C (12/05/2022)
"Did you guys trash all my golds? I haven't seen anything in a while..." "Well there are eight silver and two golds in the trash so..." - Heidi C & Brian C (11/19/2022)
"... I got ten birds cause my friends are assholes... I mean..." - Brian C (11/19/2022)
"Are you afraid the cats are going to eat much?" "Yeah. They're fatties." - Brian C & Jason H (11/17/2022)
"We had nice things, remember?" "Yeah, I remember." - Heidi C & Brian C (11/12/2022)
"Heidi, do you know how much he poops?" "Yes! I lived with him in Alabama!" - Brian C & Heidi C (11/12/2022)
"Can you think of another reason someone would be mean just to be mean?" "No, I can't." - Brian C & Heidi C (10/29/2022)
me attacking them
"I'm giving up soda and weed." "And picking up cocaine." - Brian C & Matt Wi (10/21/2022)
when we move
"You can put them in!" "Well, put them in! I'm tired of being bored." - Bryan S & Brian C & Janny M (10/13/2022)
first part of quote said at the same time
"If you need her to shut the f**k up, you need to present her your dick..." - Brian C (10/08/2022)
"She needs to get on all fours..." - Brian C (10/08/2022)
"Go pee!" - Brian C (10/08/2022)
"I may have overpaid a little for this." - Brian C (10/02/2022)
he paid 12 debt for 8 vp
"It's an Apple product. What do you expect?" "I know. My expectations were higher." - Brian C & Billy Ray M (10/02/2022)
"You're asking your friends who give you birds so..." - Brian C (10/01/2022)
relationship advice for heidi
"Brian's not from Baltimore." "Yeah, I'm from Bowie." "Well they're the same." - Janny M & Brian C & Heidi C (09/19/2022)
"Oh you actually have Disney Plus?" "Yes. We have kids." - Brian C & Travis B (09/17/2022)
"Yes. You're celebrating a triple homicide." - Brian C (09/17/2022)
in hocus pocus when they burned the witches
"He only gave you seventy?" "Yeah. F**k it. I don't care. They're gone." - Janny M & Brian C (09/05/2022)
craigslist dude who bought the shelves
"Okay. It's almost completely down." "That's what he said." - Brian C & Janny M (08/27/2022)
"I'm so depressed, I can't charge. It's electric." "Boogie woogie woogie." - Janny M & Brian C (08/26/2022)
my car couldn't charge when i was there :(
"There's something special about being a Ceneme." "No, there's not." F**k you." - Steven Ce & Brian C (08/26/2022)
"They're gonna say New Jersey or New York." "I don't know about that." - Brian C & Arlene A (08/19/2022)
if someone had to guess where arlene is from
"Is Die Hard a Christmas movie?" "I have to walk away." - Brian C & Arlene A (08/19/2022)
"Shawn told me the funnies thing about Yoda's stick..." "Yoda's dick?" - Brian C & Aaron E (08/13/2022)
"I voted for Steve Solomon." "Well he's a nice guy." - Brian C & Helen E (08/11/2022)
"Wiki, I know we're almost home. Only six more red lights." - Brian C (08/08/2022)
"Did you lose a child?" "I'm about to." - Brian C & Megan Wi (08/04/2022)
rex was misbehaving
"It looks like a little hearing aid." "What?" - Janny M & Brian C (08/01/2022)
pretending not to hear; i put a bandaid on his ear to stop his bleeding
"You can only do so much with how wet it was." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (07/29/2022)
"That car is still in one piece." "Yeah, the mechanics did a fantastic job." - Jen R & Brian C (07/29/2022)
how often jen gets in car accidents
"You're so cute." "Thanks, Brian. So are you." - Brian C & Heidi C (07/26/2022)
bri was talking to lando
"You're so cute and furry." "Thanks. You're embarrassing me." - Brian C & Heidi C (07/26/2022)
bri was talking to lando again
"Maybe it needs to be blown out?" "That's what she said." - Shawn R & Brian C (07/15/2022)
the strobe light wasn't working
"What do you think we're gonna be like when we're fifty?" "Dead." - Brian C & Helen E (07/14/2022)
"I have no allegiance to that b***h." - Brian C (07/10/2022)
me
"You know there's dogs that don't bark?" "Is that a thing?" - Brian C & Heidi C (07/08/2022)
benji
"Just so you know, all the alcohol is at the bottom." "Oh, good." - Brian C & Sabrina P (07/04/2022)
blue hawaii freezer mixed drinks
"Sabrina?" "I don't have a micropenis." - Brian C & Sabrina P (07/04/2022)
"what is the fourteenth amendment?" "I'm glad you asked. Let me bring it up..." - Brian C & Eric W (07/03/2022)
"What's wrong?" "Oh, I think you know what's wrong." - Brian C & Heidi C (06/26/2022)
he just gave us curses
"Well does he have a real job?" "He's a lawyer." "Oh, so no." - Helen E & Brian C (06/23/2022)
"You've seen Eat Pray Love." "No, I haven't. I'm proud of it." - Brian C & Janny M (06/23/2022)
"Guess what we did this morning?" "Have sex?" "no. Even better. We went to the dentist!" "I think she's a masochist." - Sabrina P & Janny M & Brian C (06/11/2022)
"I was like, do we need to send out a silver alert?" - Brian C (06/08/2022)
for kenny
"I'm not super impressed with Raskin." "Yeah, you wouldn't be." - Brian C & Helen E (06/02/2022)
"I can't believe that cop is actually following the law." "It happens occasionally." - Janny M & Brian C (06/02/2022)
the cop wasn't turning on a no turn on red
"Good. Glad to ruin that." - Brian C (05/05/2022)
helen said cool people were there
"It's illegal to sleep with your students." "Well, I did... But I was in Russia." - Brian C & Helen E (05/05/2022)
"It's a confined compartment where you kinda bang around..." - Brian C (05/05/2022)
how to have sex in space
"We have Adam and Eve and they f**k..." - Brian C (05/05/2022)
"That's a lot of grass. You're gonna have fun with that!" - Brian C (04/30/2022)
kim looking at a perspective house
"It doesn't work." "Yeah, now I know." - Brian C & Ryan Mo (04/30/2022)
"It won't be the first time it won't be the last." - Brian C (04/16/2022)
"Which president are you talking about?" "A good one." "So Harrison Ford." - Sabrina P & Aaron E & Brian C (04/08/2022)
"Sabrina, we can still hear." "Oh my God, stop listening." - Brian C & Sabrina P (04/08/2022)
when she went to the bathroom
"It's not that bad." "What? Dying alone?" - Brian C & Helen E (04/07/2022)
"Are they going to get along when you love in together?" "Maybe... or else we're going to sell 'em." - Brian C & Brittney H (03/27/2022)
jason's cats don't get along with charla
"You usually pay prostitutes in cash..." "I pay mine in credit." - Brian C & Jason H (03/27/2022)
"I think I would look really good in that hat." "We'll never know." - Janny M & Brian C (03/24/2022)
bri has the hat i bought in portugal
"She was a teletubby." - Brian C (03/24/2022)
"How the f**k do you drink a sprinkle?" - Brian C (03/13/2022)
"You will pay for this." - Brian C (03/12/2022)
me attacking
"Russia! Russia! Russia! See! I was right! Russia! Russia! Russia!" - Brian C (03/03/2022)
rachel maddow
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"Did you find your thingy?" "Yes, it was in my bra." - Brian C & Jen R (02/27/2022)
"What does she do with her time then?" "She has cats." - Brian C & Andrei A (02/24/2022)
someone he went out with who isn't into politics
"The bear don't care." - Brian C (02/24/2022)
"He just wants to see me naked. That's all." - Brian C (02/19/2022)
shawn needs a body to play doctor with
"No. We're going to have more waste." "That sounds s**ty." - Brian C & Helen E (02/17/2022)
"Is this the best popcorn you've ever had?" Not the best popcorn I've ever had." "You can't have anymore." - Damion _ & Brian C (02/05/2022)
"If I'm making one cent per cheeseburger." " Oh God now I'm hungry." - Brian C & Adam C (02/04/2022)
"Do you know another car that is extremely valuable?" "P T cruiser?" - Brian C & Adam C (02/04/2022)
"How did you survive without Aaron?" "Oh. Microwave." - Brian C & Sabrina P (01/28/2022)
aaron cooks
"Oh, Stacy's tangy bits!" - Brian C (01/21/2022)
"It's in a vegetable cookbook." "Okay." - Brian C & Aunt Janet (01/15/2022)
zucchini bread
"What is this stick thingy mean?" "I think it means Janny is a motherf**ker." - Brian C & Heidi C (01/15/2022)
i played an attack card
"So does that mean I'm on two social medias?" - Brian C (01/08/2022)
he's on reddit and youtube
"When are the blinds coming in?" "I don't know. I f**king called them and they didn't f**king call me back." - Brian C & Sabrina P (12/30/2021)
"Where are we getting these birds?" "I don't know. It doesn't feel like Christmas." - Brian C & Heidi C (12/25/2021)
"Just shoot him in the head and move on." - Brian C (12/24/2021)
die hard
"I woke up drunk this mornin!" - Brian C (12/24/2021)
"The Market is closed." "Glad I wasn't in the Market for that." - Heidi C & Brian C (12/11/2021)
no more markets
"Dry as a bone." "Cause it melted?" - Brian C & Sabrina P (11/22/2021)
heavy rain in arizona
"It helps to be married to her." - Brian C (11/19/2021)
"She was pulling out before I had even thought about it." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (11/13/2021)
the mind
"That was a big one." "That's what she said." - Shawn R & Brian C (10/22/2021)
"I don't even know how bad my vision is." "Bad enough to hit a fire hydrant, a deer, a guard rail..." - Jen R & Brian C (10/22/2021)
"I hung out with a lot of bad people in high school." "I know. Your dad arrested half of them." - Jen R & Brian C (10/22/2021)
"My doctor took a look at my penis then immediately stuck a finger up my ass." "Was that before or after laughing?" - Brian C & Shawn R (10/22/2021)
"Those birds f**ked me." - Brian C (10/16/2021)
"Andrei has it been that long since you had a date?" - Brian C (10/14/2021)
kiki was humping his leg
"I tried really hard to feel bad but the emotion wasn't coming." - Brian C (10/13/2021)
giving out the black bitch
"I had four of those things?" "You wear them well." - Heidi C & Brian C (10/02/2021)
birds
"Think about all those flat Earthers..." "I try not to." - Brian C & Andrei A (09/18/2021)
"Well you're halfway decapitated." "Well that's worse." - Brian C & Helen E (09/18/2021)
"There's no other jobs..." "Other than being a serial killer..." - Brian C & Sabrina P (09/17/2021)
our screen play
"Penises don't just grow out of the ground." "Unfortunately." - Brian C & Sabrina P (09/17/2021)
I agree, unfortunate :(
"That's the only part that doesn't go down." "I don't go down." - Brian C & Heidi C (09/12/2021)
"..So she can have hairy tits and skid marks." - Brian C (09/12/2021)
"I thought the respiratory system and the digestive system were different." "Are they?" - Brian C & Brittney H (09/05/2021)
making fun of "covid medicine"
"Icing and spackling are the same thing. They cover a multitude of sins." - Brian C (09/03/2021)
"I heard they did some math..." - Brian C (09/03/2021)
nola to get the levees to hold
"You're sitting on a salad." - Brian C (09/03/2021)
"Does Cody's current wife know these stories?" "If she doesn't, she will." - Brian C & Aaron E (08/27/2021)
"What a great scene." "Mhm!" - Brian C & Aaron E (08/27/2021)
yvette with her big boobs in clue
--RESTRICTED QUOTE--
"What do you call hitting something unintentionally at 20 miles per hour?" "An accident." - Brian C & Shawn R (08/15/2021)
"Hove I told you how the Democrats are f**king morons?" "Well that's obvious." - Brian C & Aaron E (08/06/2021)
"Do you want some painkillers?" "Eh. Beer's good enough." - Brian C & Helen E (08/03/2021)
her toenail
"Can you get him one please?" "Sure... let me get him one..." - Brian C & Molly R (07/30/2021)
get shawn a paper towel; she was confused at first
"There goes my ore. I'm glad you put it to good use." - Brian C (07/24/2021)
the ore becky stole with the robber
"He's leaving in a box." - Brian C (07/16/2021)
"I knew my friend's wouldn't pass up an opportunity to roast me." - Brian C (07/09/2021)
a bad sex toy named brian
"Well that's what happens when you vote for Hillary." - Brian C (07/09/2021)
"Forty percent? what are you trying to get wasted tonight?" "Yeah." "Alright then!" - Jen R & Brian C (07/02/2021)
gray goose... and he did!
"Matt, your dick rules!" "Well it does sometimes." - Brian C & Matt An (07/02/2021)
we were all matt in survive the internet but someone was matt's dick
"Here's your wheel." - Brian C (06/29/2021)
how often do you say that in life? it was the wheel to the air compressor
"No kid ever thinks they want to be a project manager." - Brian C (06/26/2021)
probably true
"I feel like I can't make my windows big." "That's what she said." - Janny M & Sabrina P & Brian C (06/18/2021)
twss said at the same time
"What's the bro-y bro type?" "You'll know it when you see it." - Brian C & Helen E (06/17/2021)
"From a mullet to a clit..." - Brian C (06/10/2021)
drawing game
"I don't remember tasting it." - Brian C (06/09/2021)
"How much is water down there?" "It's free. It's in the ocean." - Brian C & Andy C (06/09/2021)
in florida
"There's a wedding over there..." "Yeah, we already talked about crashing it." - Paul H & Brian C (06/05/2021)
"He was trying to tell me about his character and..." "You didn't care?" "...Yeah..." - Sabrina P & Brian C (05/28/2021)
aaron's dnd character
"See? Did that hurt, Heidi?" "No, it was actually pleasurable." - Brian C & Heidi C (05/15/2021)
attack card
"Janny, I'm so happy, you have no idea." - Brian C (05/15/2021)
he made the game very painful
"That's not funny." "So why am I manically laughing?" "Cause you're a psychopath." - Janny M & Brian C (05/15/2021)
"Only Heidi would call up New Jersey and ask if they deliver to Kentucky." - Brian C (05/08/2021)
"Oh my God. How could you say that?" - Brian C (05/04/2021)
heidi said they have to drive a whale
"He's my only child." "No. You have Charlie." "Well, yeah..." - Heidi C & Brian C (05/03/2021)
don't tell charlie that...
"If it was Charlie, you'd let him drink the hair." "U know, firefighters can drink hair." - Brian C & Heidi C (05/03/2021)
"No, I made the list so..." - Brian C (04/23/2021)
"So miss camel toe?" "Yeah, she's miss camel toe." - Janny M & Brian C (04/17/2021)
"Stacy, where were you?" - Brian C (04/09/2021)
stacy was dead
"It's fresh, too." "Oh, yeah." - Brian C & Paul H (03/27/2021)
the port-a-pot
"That's where they stick the finger up your ass." "Yeah, that's nothing." - Brian C & Paul H (03/26/2021)
"This is so hard!" "Says the physics major." - Tricia B & Brian C (03/19/2021)
question on murder trivia; right up her ally
"You know what Matt needs?" "A hearing aid?" - Brian C & Megan Wi (03/04/2021)
"The rest of the world don't give a f**k." - Brian C (02/23/2021)
"Especially since I have a small hand." - Brian C (02/20/2021)
"I'm afraid of what that's gonna become." "Yeah, so am I." - Brian C & Shawn R (02/19/2021)
their answers in survive the internet
"...He's gray and falling apart." "He's not gray!" - Brian C & Jen R (02/12/2021)
shawn
"Was your last task killing Janis?" - Brian C (02/05/2021)
"You are a cutie pie. You are so cute." "Thank you." - Brian C & Heidi C (01/09/2021)
bri was talking to lando
"Willfull ignorance or does he watch Fox News?" "He does watch Fox News." - Brian C & Matt Wi (01/02/2021)
"I know it wasn't Matt because he was coming back from the vagina." - Brian C (12/25/2020)
"Sorry, I'm with the sheets." - Brian C (12/09/2020)
"I have to ask a question... do you enjoy dumpster diving?" "When there's gold in there." - Brian C & Heidi C (11/25/2020)
"Oh, no thank you." "No, I didn't need that money." - Brian C & Heidi C (11/25/2020)
i gave them copper
"Heidi, do you wanna take a screen shot of this game?" "I do not." - Brian C & Heidi C (11/21/2020)
"No, she doesn't love dogs with tails." "Oh. That's true." - Brian C & Heidi C (11/14/2020)
talking about me
"Brian has chunks in it?" - Brian C (11/07/2020)
the bierme brian
"I don't know if my parents knew how to do that." "What? put alcohol in coffee?" - Janny M & Brian C (11/05/2020)
"Heidi is so lucky. She gets to choose." - Brian C (10/31/2020)
which card to trash
"That one... I'm gonna be honest... I didn't expect two torturers in a row." - Brian C (10/31/2020)
"Do you wanna hear something funny?" "Is it about birds?" "Yes!" - Brian C & Heidi C (10/24/2020)
"Can I be honest with you? You're beautiful." "Thank you." - Brian C & Heidi C (10/17/2020)
bri was talking to lupin
"Is Sabrina Hootie Mc Boob?" "Of course I'm Hootie Mc Boob." - Brian C & Sabrina P (10/09/2020)
"Who's Arlene?" "I don't know that person." - Brian C & Arlene A (10/02/2020)
"I'm not very good with two." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (10/01/2020)
juggling two balls
"I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say a royal b***h." "You mean like Queen Elizabeth?" - Brian C & Heidi C (09/26/2020)
who did something to him
"...What just happened?" "A royal b***h." - Heidi C & Brian C (09/26/2020)
i attacked them
"Like there's no lube with Biden's plan." - Brian C (09/12/2020)
"I don't go around looking at other penises." "I do." - Brian C & Heidi C (09/12/2020)
me too!
"Yes. You own both those cards. But you're about to not own one of them." - Brian C (09/12/2020)
she had to trash one of the two cards she was seeing
"I'll say women's bodies are more diverse." "Yeah, we have a lot of parts." - Brian C & Helen E (08/27/2020)
"I was going to ask you a question." "Yes, I'm going to win tonight." - Brian C & Heidi C (08/15/2020)
"A substitute teacher isn't holding a money bag." "Yeah. They don't get paid!" - Brian C & Paul H (08/14/2020)
"As an alternative, you could always get a saddle for Shawn." - Brian C (08/01/2020)
"We'll let you know when he finally kicks." "Oh, he's kicking right now." - Brian C & Paul H (08/01/2020)
the fly in jen's drink
"Why do I keep losing connection?" "I don't know. You work in I T, right?" - Brian C & Heidi C (08/01/2020)
"Heidi, are you sure you wanna go through this?" "Well you guys won't let me undo." - Brian C & Heidi C (08/01/2020)
she attacked us
"I do have a lot of hair all over my body." "I didn't want to be the one to say anything." - Brian C & Heidi C (07/25/2020)
"I need to beat Heidi. How do I do that?" "That's gonna take years of work, Brian." - Brian C & Heidi C (07/25/2020)
"That was a little premature maybe." "That's what she said." - Heidi C & Brian C (07/18/2020)
"That doesn't surprise me out of the D S A." "Well it was the council but actually it's both." - Brian C & Helen E (07/16/2020)
"Well I heard it from a former Redskins cheerleader..." "Well that's completely legit." - Brian C & Janny M (07/16/2020)
"Why the hell does she like the damn Pearl Diver?" "I bought that." - Heidi C & Brian C (07/04/2020)
"What did Heidi lose? Oh, she lost her Smithy." "What? F**k you!" - Brian C & Heidi C (07/04/2020)
"...I have a Villain so I can attack you again." "Na. Don't do that." - Brian C & Heidi C (07/03/2020)
"What are you gonna trash, Heidi?" "What are you gonna trash, babe?" - Brian C & Janny M (06/27/2020)
heidi had to pick what good card to trash, then bri had to
"There's closed captioning, you a*sholes!" - Brian C (06/26/2020)
split the room
"The knee is higher!" - Brian C (06/26/2020)
drawing
"It's called a Mac!" - Brian C (06/26/2020)
"What is your family from West Virginia?" "South Carolina." "Oh. Same thing." - Eric W & Brian C (06/20/2020)
"I never heard what happened to their lawsuit." "Which one?" - Brian C & Heidi C (06/13/2020)
apple
"Who the f**k is doing this s**t?" "I don't know. I need to seriously question this community." - Brian C & Heidi C (06/13/2020)
playing attack cards
"Oh, I got a Pouch." "I didn't wanna say anything." - Brian C & Heidi C (05/24/2020)
a card in dominion
"Ya know what? I'm gonna f**king risk it." "What about a brisket?" - Brian C & Heidi C (05/24/2020)
"You got a beautiful bird or a copper." - Brian C (05/23/2020)
"Jesus." "No, that's a Witch." - Heidi C & Brian C (05/23/2020)
"I don't remember a trashle cashing... Or a castle trashing..." - Brian C (05/16/2020)
"We prefer you don't drive at night either." - Brian C (03/27/2020)
jen
"No. But basically, yes." - Brian C (03/07/2020)
what?
"Most of our medical technology was founded by a necropheliac." "Ou. Tell me more." - Brian C & Sabrina P (03/07/2020)
"That's not quote worthy." "No." - Brian C & Sabrina P (03/03/2020)
"You could have treated her like she treats her cats!" - Brian C (03/03/2020)
i threw a phone at bri
"And Shawn is like sixty five so..." - Brian C (02/29/2020)
"I'm gonna have cancer one day." "Probably." - Janny M & Brian C (02/16/2020)
"What's the glass for?" - Brian C (02/15/2020)
heidi gave him a wine glass and a bottle of wine
"Molly, we don't hit the dog." "That's right. You hit the Molly." - Jen R & Brian C (02/14/2020)
"That should help with Becky's cooking." - Brian C (02/14/2020)
paul's hot sauce
"I know. Jen's here..." - Brian C (02/14/2020)
little ears
"It all came out!" "That's what she said." - Janny M & Paul H & Brian C & Shawn R (02/14/2020)
twss said at the same time; the ice came out really fast!
"Wow. I stand a chance." "Ou, I stand a chance!" - Brian C & Helen E (02/11/2020)
with krystal ball; her husband is chubby & has a beard
"When you play the bird, you get more s**t." - Brian C (01/26/2020)
"It has multiple personalities." "Like you do." - Brian C & Dr Dana W (01/20/2020)
"This is the house I want." "That just sold?" - Dr Dana W & Brian C (01/18/2020)
"Matt... ten seconds..." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Megan Wi (01/16/2020)
"So are you pookie bear?" - Brian C (01/04/2020)
asking a lady who knew the dueling piano's song that was dedicated to pookie bear
"My parents were... pretty good parents." - Brian C (01/03/2020)
when it came to puberty
"What lane are you telling me?" "Um... New Hampshire." - Brian C & Helen E (01/01/2020)
"One time I accidentally washed her quote sheet." "And you're still married?" - Brian C & Bryan S (12/31/2019)
that bad new years :(
"Less than one minute." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Helen E (12/31/2019)
till 2020
"Will it fit?" "That's what she said." "What?" - Jen R & Brian C (12/24/2019)
"Drives like Jen." - Brian C (12/24/2019)
cop car crashing in movie
"What if you were on the dating scene and there were three women and one was missing a tooth. Who would you approach?" "How big are the jugs?" - Heidi C & Brian C (12/22/2019)
"We do have measuring cups..." - Brian C (12/13/2019)
becky was eye balling all her measurements
"You're thirty five. Man, you're old. Does that mean you have to pee a lot?" - Brian C (11/23/2019)
"Okay, Depends." - Brian C (11/23/2019)
bri called jen depends (the diaper)
"So Disney princesses regularly get groped." "I thought that was part of their contract." - Brian C & Matt Wi (11/07/2019)
disney is finally doing something about it
"There are also cows you can tip over." "They're not that easy to tip over." - Brian C & Megan Wi (11/07/2019)
what megan can do in Indiana over thanksgiving
"Have you seen it?" "No. I'm just thinking of fat people running." - Brian C & Helen E (11/02/2019)
run fat boy run
"So what you're saying is you were almost a registered sex offender before you met Megan?" - Brian C (11/01/2019)
"The inches matter. Which is ridiculous." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Shawn R (10/26/2019)
car tires
"No, I'm taking a s**t on the Jeep." - Brian C (10/18/2019)
"I only heard penis." - Brian C (10/18/2019)
"So they are swingers." "No, they're not swingers." - Brian C & Megan Wi (10/18/2019)
"It was a themed cruise for death investigators." "I thought it was the swingers cruise." "That's the next one." - Sabrina P & Brian C (10/15/2019)
"Uh, it crashed." "No! I just touched it!" "That's what she said." - Brian C & Sabrina P & Janny M (10/15/2019)
the computer which we were using to stream the debate
"Because she does have a masters..." "In bartending?" - Brian C & Matt Wi (10/14/2019)
aoc
"These nuts are so warm in my hand." "That's what she said." - Matt Wi & Brian C (10/13/2019)
hot cashews
"He was born with a golden spoon." "Silver. Not gold." - Brian C & Matt Wi (10/13/2019)
"Did we talk about putting Lupin on a diet?" "I don't know. I don't think we have." - Brian C & Matt Wi (10/10/2019)
"Eww." "What? A picture of Obama?" "No. It was a picture of Hillary." - Brian C & Janny M (09/27/2019)
"We're gonna get Helen to run for office." "I thought you liked her." - Brian C & Daniel M (09/21/2019)
"I like that you looked at her when you said I've made worse decisions." - Brian C (09/06/2019)
"Nobody drafted Carson Wentz?" "Why would you? You'll need a quarterback past week three." - Janny M & Brian C (09/03/2019)
"Yeah, you wanted to get in a bar fight and have some fun." "Yeah." - Brian C & Jim B (08/25/2019)
mr jim on valium
"So do you want me to scare you?" "Boo!" - Brian C & Aaron E (08/23/2019)
"There's no black paintings?" "No black paintings." - Brian C & Alex B (08/21/2019)
takiado
"More than I thought, I'm so glad there's going to be more butt stuff in your database." - Brian C (08/19/2019)
i found my quote sheet!
"I had to go downstairs to hide. I don't want my coworkers hearing me talk about butt stuff." - Brian C (08/19/2019)
"You gotta do something with butt stuff." - Brian C (08/17/2019)
"Now I need to wash my penis." - Brian C (08/10/2019)
you don't wanna know ;p
"It's only a twelve hour drive for Jen." - Brian C (08/10/2019)
from florida to maryland
--RESTRICTED QUOTE--
"So you want a big one like that, Kurt?" "That's what she said." - Brian C & Mike O (08/09/2019)
a big pourch
"Cause you could forward the thrusters both front and back... You guys don't care." - Brian C (08/04/2019)
megan & i looked around instead of at bri
"If you were going to do one major renovation to your house, what would it be?" "Tear it down." - Brian C & Matt Wi (08/04/2019)
"Wait. Where's my seven?" "It's on your elbow." - Brian C & Brenda Wi (08/01/2019)
"So we had a woman quit while throwing a chair." "Cool!" - Brian C & Paul H (07/26/2019)
bri's work story
"Don't worry, we have a baby gate." "We put it in the bathroom." - Janny M & Brian C (07/24/2019)
for rex so he doesn't go down our stairs
"I don't see his big head." "I do." - Janny M & Brian C (07/21/2019)
if matt was behind us
"That was weird." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (07/18/2019)
"I'm just pointing this out so when I do it later..." - Brian C (07/13/2019)
strategy in dominion
"I already did you." "That's what... she said..." - Brian C & Matt Wi (07/12/2019)
"If I could have touched them, I would have." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Matt Wi (07/12/2019)
"I talked to the billing department, they told me to f**k off..." - Brian C (07/06/2019)
"I don't drive in the dark..." "Or in the light..." - Jen R & Brian C (07/06/2019)
"There's no looting going on so you know it's not real." - Brian C (07/03/2019)
meteor hit baltimore in a movie we watched
"Wait... that's where we lost you? The astronaut suits?" - Brian C (07/03/2019)
i said the movie was unrealistic because of the astronaut suits
"It needs to be stirred. It's still way too wet." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (07/01/2019)
"Is that going in or out?" "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (06/29/2019)
"You're still in the wood, dude." - Brian C (06/29/2019)
"It was only slightly creepy that he was hitting on you..." - Brian C (06/21/2019)
ficker
"I didn't make someone draw like a dozen cards." "That's okay. I have an arsenal now." - Brian C & Stacy M (06/15/2019)
played uno at a bar
"Today's leather shoes will kill you." "To cook?" - Brian C & Janny M (06/08/2019)
"It's not wide enough." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (06/08/2019)
"You don't really need a lawyer." "Until you do need a lawyer." - Brian C & Matt Wi (05/31/2019)
"Do you wanna go potty?" "No, thank you." - Brian C & Heidi C (05/25/2019)
"You could take her to the shelter." "Yeah, you can try." - Brian C & Bear M (05/24/2019)
take ella to the animal shelter
"Matt, you got a hammer?" "Yes, I do. What happened?" - Brian C & Matt Wi (05/04/2019)
"You never know. You might win something." "Except booty." - Jen R & Brian C (05/03/2019)
"I never thought I'd have this conversation but thank you for getting me vaccinated." - Brian C (05/03/2019)
he thanked his parents for getting him vaccinated
"Only sixty percent of the time?" It's not a hundred!" - Brian C & Jason H (04/26/2019)
"So we're done with that s**t?" - Brian C (04/12/2019)
"We are putting plastic and silicon in our bodies now." "Yea, but those are for good things." - Shawn R & Brian C (04/06/2019)
"Even Jen still uses training wheels." - Brian C (04/06/2019)
"Please tell me you're dry." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (03/23/2019)
brian's shoes were wet
"I could go all night sometimes." "That's what she said." - Bear M & Brian C (03/20/2019)
"I love labs." "Um, Wiki's right here and he heard that." - Brian C & Heidi C (03/16/2019)
labs; the card in dominion
"I've never seen one that big before." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (03/01/2019)
gummy bear bag i bought
"What is the ghost ship?" "It attacks people." "Is that really the person you want to be?" - Brian C & Janny M & Heidi C (02/17/2019)
"Let's just enjoy ourselves..." - Brian C (02/16/2019)
"It probably happened." - Brian C (02/15/2019)
a train crossing & it collapsing on a bridge video/meme
"I used anal too early." "Yeah, you used anal too early." - Sabrina P & Brian C (02/15/2019)
"Never force a woman to give a blowjob... she'll just bite." "Yeah, that seems like a bad idea." - Brian C & Matt Wi (02/08/2019)
"I just don't think I'm ready for this." - Brian C (02/02/2019)
a bishop
"I also noticed she seems to win a lot." - Brian C (01/20/2019)
ella
"What happened to that Honda?" "I destroyed that Honda." - Brian C & Jen R (01/19/2019)
"And where did you start?" "Uh, spam." - Brian C & Janny M (01/04/2019)
how can you draw spam???
"Alright. I'm almost done with my penises." - Brian C (01/04/2019)
he drew 16 guys so 16 penises
"One more penis to go." - Brian C (01/04/2019)
"I think my gas station looked hot." "Probably because it was on fire." - Joe C & Brian C (12/30/2018)
he built a gas station out of legos
"Well you want it extremely hard." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (12/08/2018)
"I mean like ninjas typically use their arms." - Brian C (12/02/2018)
"That's like Janis bad." - Brian C (12/02/2018)
a challenge in snf
"Just get a little G string." "No. I don't fit in those anymore." - Brian C & Shawn R (11/30/2018)
"Our pizza hut... the clean one..." - Brian C (11/23/2018)
need to specify there
"I have some big ones in here so I hope that'll help." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (11/23/2018)
"What do you know about hybrids?" "Cars or weed?" - Janny M & Brian C (11/17/2018)
"Where's my clamp?" "Isn't it on Jen's nipple?" "No, that's my spring clamp." - Shawn R & Brian C (11/17/2018)
"I got a bit of wood here." "Is it big wood or little wood?" - Shawn R & Brian C (11/16/2018)
"Is that gonna be your excuse for everything?" - Brian C (11/16/2018)
jen being in an inebriated state
"It's between pussy and hating Jews." "Isn't it always?" - Brian C & Bob W (11/10/2018)
"English?" "Whites." - Brian C & Paul H (11/02/2018)
paul speaks in correct terms when playing lords of waterdeep
"I'm never gonna complete that one. It's just too big." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (11/02/2018)
"Who the f**k is Bibbs?" "Don't care." - Janny M & Brian C (10/21/2018)
"I think Bill is here." "Why?" "Cause there's a creepy clown walking around." - Brian C & Janny M (10/20/2018)
"You whore." "Eh, what can I say? It's what God gave me." - Brian C & Arlene A (10/19/2018)
"we had one class when we were given acid..." "Like L S D?" - Brian C & Sabrina P (10/16/2018)
"No, no, no, no. Yes." - Brian C (10/07/2018)
"Do you have a stick?" "Well, I do..." - Brian C & Shawn R (10/06/2018)
"Does Nirvana still tour?" - Brian C (10/06/2018)
yes, bri really asked this
"I am unhappy about my pants." - Brian C (09/28/2018)
"I have a pair of scissors." "That's not funny." - Brian C & Arlene A (09/21/2018)
arlene was complaining about her hair
"No, Janis is only a C." - Brian C (08/25/2018)
shawn said d
"My boobs itch." "Yours too?" - Jen R & Brian C (08/25/2018)
"Shawn, at least I know not to do this s**t myself." - Brian C (08/25/2018)
"Janis, can you feel the water?" "Yeah, I touched it. It's nice... That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (08/10/2018)
"Is Erin's full of whiskey?" "No... it's vodka." - Brian C & Erin L (08/03/2018)
"It is the Red Line so it is a possibility." - Brian C (07/27/2018)
donald was afraid of a train derailment riding metro
"I gotta keep up with Jen." - Brian C (07/21/2018)
doing shots
"Well since the market is so small, it's impossible to have your own restaurant." - Brian C (07/11/2018)
the impossible burger
"I need like thirty seconds to finish up." "That's what he said." - Brian C & Janny M (07/11/2018)
"Well, I don't wish ill upon him." - Brian C (07/10/2018)
bernie mac; who is already dead
"Okay... nobody alive fought in the war..." - Brian C (07/05/2018)
"It just popped up." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (07/04/2018)
the mattress cover
"Well I am going to do that but I'm not going to take a book in there..." - Brian C (07/04/2018)
poop
"Remind me to call Lowes." "What? Do they sell beer now?" - Jen R & Brian C (07/03/2018)
"Come over here." "It's not long enough." - Brian C & Shawn R (07/03/2018)
"Aw. That's so cute." "Thanks but I wear this all the time." - Brian C & Heidi C (07/01/2018)
bri was looking at his phone with a cute dog on it
"Are you buying it from your mom?" "No." "White privilege." - Megan Wi & Brian C (06/30/2018)
brian's new car
"It also makes you look like you have huge tits." "Awesome!" - Brian C & Jen R (06/22/2018)
--RESTRICTED QUOTE--
"Yes. Wood usually comes from trees." - Brian C (05/05/2018)
matt asked where some of the sticks in his yard came from
"A*shole." "Yes. That's what it comes out of." - Brian C & Kurt W (05/04/2018)
"She looked old." "Well that happens." - Brian C & Chris Su (04/29/2018)
"I think the gray adds more than the cancer." - Brian C (04/29/2018)
shawns hat looked like he was an old cancer patien
"God, damn it. It's not hard, Janis." - Brian C (04/29/2018)
"Somebody painted the bowl..." - Brian C (04/29/2018)
"It was a huge piece of meat." "That's what she said." - Megan Wi & Brian C (04/14/2018)
"You don't hear s**t where we live." "Where do you live?" "Off Georgia Avenue." - Janny M & Corey K & Brian C (04/14/2018)
"She can't work at hooters. She doesn't meet certain requirements." - Brian C (04/07/2018)
jen
"Well hopefully she'll have a magnificent a*s because no one's gonna wanna look at the front." - Brian C (04/06/2018)
"At least she doesn't have the vibrating panties yet..." "I don't but I've thought about it." - Brian C & Helen E (04/06/2018)
"It's a nice place except for that giant vibrator..." - Brian C (04/06/2018)
"Are you gonna turn water into wine?" - Brian C (04/01/2018)
bri had water and wine
"You said it when I was in my motion." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (03/23/2018)
gutter ball
"Erin, who did you torture enough for them to haunt you?" "...It could be any number of people." - Brian C & Erin L (03/04/2018)
they have ghosts that follow them
"How bad of a date are you?" - Brian C (03/02/2018)
"And when my ears aren't around..." - Brian C (02/23/2018)
kurt and mike wanted to talk about something inappropriate for donald, and brian didn't want to know
"If you're a woman, you better not be muff diving..." - Brian C (02/23/2018)
on fox news
"I think he was talking about Kurt." - Brian C (02/23/2018)
dd, not meaty
"I can start it. I just can't finish it." "That's what she said." - Mike O & Brian C (02/23/2018)
two card one in cah
"You got that off before I could." "That's what she said." - Joe K & Brian C (02/16/2018)
i said twss to bear before joe could
"I'm more aggressive than Domino's." - Brian C (02/09/2018)
he pulled out in front of a domino's delivery car (my old job)
"Boobs." "Thank you." - Bear M & Brian C (02/09/2018)
"That's a Countach." "Watch your mouth!" - Brian C & Megan Wi (01/31/2018)
"I'm surprised they don't have an R though." "They do but I don't want to find it." - Brian C & Janny M (01/19/2018)
i don't remember what this was in reference to
"Why are you holding a nursery school kegger?" - Brian C (01/19/2018)
"Did he give you a beer?" "No." - Matt Wi & Brian C (01/14/2018)
bri said he visited a milwalkee beer fan
"His house was a s**thole." "Wait. You can't use that word anymore." - Brian C & Janny M (01/14/2018)
"Maybe they were tapped out?" - Brian C (01/14/2018)
matt's parents didn't buy him a new tap
"His cup's smaller." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (01/14/2018)
"God... Becky... f**k you!" - Brian C (01/01/2018)
becky got the first quote of the year!
"I can barely hit the seventh position." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (12/31/2017)
in trumbone
"She's definitely singing. The recorded version is so much better." - Brian C (12/31/2017)
mariah carrey
"How can he always find the f**king nut?" - Brian C (12/30/2017)
wiki has a skill
"I just got ashed." - Brian C (12/23/2017)
from the fire & wind
"Even after dark, like a creep." - Brian C (12/23/2017)
door knocking
"Oh, I saw an interesting video about the Karate Kid..." "And?" - Brian C & Kurt W (12/22/2017)
bri just kinda ended it there
"It doesn't move..." - Brian C (12/09/2017)
"The church of cannabis does exist." "Hell yea, it does." - Brian C & Bear M (12/08/2017)
"Well she can't speak very good English." "Well neither can most Americans." - Brian C & Alex B (12/01/2017)
"Well we've been stagnant for a while... ever since you went down sixty." - Brian C (11/23/2017)
playing pinochle
"You know what else Joe Gibbs did?" "Win three superbowls?" - Bear M & Brian C (11/23/2017)
"Wouldn't you wanna get it straight from the source?" "I would." - Brian C & Damion _ (11/12/2017)
breast milk... learned a new term: wet nurse
"He got into a bidding war with Leonardo Decapitated." - Brian C (11/10/2017)
nicholas cage for a dinosaur bone; yes bri said decapitated
"They'll just die." - Brian C (11/10/2017)
"They have hush puppies." "I don't even know what those are. Are those shoes?" - Brian C & Erin L (10/27/2017)
bri was reading choices for dinner
"If she was topless it would have been a lot better." "...Yeah, I was just picturing that." - Brian C & Bear M (10/27/2017)
some movie
"It needs more wood." "I've heard that." - Brian C & Gary P (10/21/2017)
"I'm getting there..." - Brian C (10/20/2017)
bri was getting loaded on rum
"I'm going to pull out so you can get in." "That's what he said." - Brian C & Janny M (10/19/2017)
he parked too close in his car; i couldn't get in it
"Oh, she's feeding the dogs now." "Sigh." - Shawn R & Brian C & Janny M (10/14/2017)
brian and i both sighed
"They never do..." - Brian C (10/14/2017)
cars ride the same after an accident
"I'll get a pink pussy to drink..." - Brian C (10/13/2017)
"It was more than a squirt." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (10/07/2017)
"You cannot profit from your own crime." - Brian C (10/07/2017)
is that a law?
"I saw the waitress." "I didn't notice." - Brian C & Kurt W (10/06/2017)
bri thought the waitress was good looking
"She's very proud of that M." "I M." - Brian C & Janny M (09/29/2017)
the m for motorcycle on my license
"Remember you're probably looking for brown hair." - Brian C (09/23/2017)
shawn was looking at an old picture; before he turned gray
"You gotta give him road head." "She's driving!" - Jen R & Brian C & Shawn R (09/23/2017)
she's driving said at the same time
"Did you text back you're dead to me?" - Brian C (09/16/2017)
bill's brother couldn't come to his parade
"Jen R*****n up the butt." - Brian C (09/15/2017)
bri was googling jen's name
"I need something to play with." - Brian C (09/09/2017)
fire stick
"I feel like it needs to stick harder." - Brian C (09/09/2017)
"It's not a penis, that's for sure." - Brian C (09/09/2017)
what penny was seeing
"Anytime you draw a card you have to do a sexual motion." "I do that anyway." - Brian C & Bear M (09/08/2017)
bri created a rule
"He saw Jen." - Brian C (09/01/2017)
their fish was scared
"That's pretty deep." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (08/16/2017)
the grand cancyon
"They all suck." "Gee, thanks, Babe. I spent hours on mine." - Brian C & Janny M (08/15/2017)
cah
"F**k. What do I do with this?" - Brian C (08/13/2017)
something was hard
"This is probably the biggest light one I've seen." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (08/11/2017)
the spatcula
"Well he watches Fox News..." "You mean fake news." - Brian C & Dr Dana W (08/10/2017)
donald trump
"I still have to pack." "So do we." - Dr Dana W & Brian C (08/10/2017)
for vacation; we were already on vacation
"It's still wet. You can see how wet it is." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (08/06/2017)
the wood we were putting on the fire
"Like I said it's a hard wood." "That's what she said." - Shawn R & Brian C (08/05/2017)
"How deep is it though?" "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (07/28/2017)
"Like really small for nipples." - Brian C (07/28/2017)
"I don't know how lost she is." - Brian C (07/28/2017)
"Would you stop f**king with your husband?" - Brian C (07/21/2017)
mike kept closing & opening the garage door
"Here, Kurt, obviously it can't be trusted with children." - Brian C (07/21/2017)
bri gave kurt the garage door opener
"Were you cock?" "Yeah." "I was balls." - Brian C & Trevor B (07/21/2017)
"My dad really got into cuddling." "That was a crisis?" - Brian C & Geni B (07/21/2017)
"This is really bad teaching. A toucan doesn't live in the jungle." - Brian C (07/15/2017)
"You're not that naked." - Brian C (07/14/2017)
"Over half the people voted for the bible." - Brian C (07/08/2017)
to smoke
"What happened to Exodus? It exoded my lungs." - Brian C (07/08/2017)
"It's gonna have a special place in my heart... but not my lungs." - Brian C (07/08/2017)
"They just killed a two liter of Crush... They crushed it." - Brian C (07/07/2017)
"Isn't that ironic?" - Brian C (07/07/2017)
alexa couldn't play ironic by alanis
"They're good. They're full of protein... just like you." - Brian C (07/04/2017)
"Look at these... They're like sweating through." "Your nuts?" - Brian C & Janny M (07/03/2017)
"It's actually online..." "Oh God bless them." - Brian C & Daniel M (07/01/2017)
"I'll stay away from the liquor..." - Brian C (06/25/2017)
"Not completely tipsy." "He's drunk." - Brian C & Jen R (06/17/2017)
"Put your mouth on the hole." "That's what she said." - Jen R & Brian C (06/17/2017)
"I'm gonna have to take it all off." "That's what she said." - Jen R & Brian C (06/09/2017)
"Spackle will cover a multitude of sins... Not Jen's face though." - Brian C (06/09/2017)
"I hated the Y." "Why?" - Brian C & Janny M (06/04/2017)
"Don't look at her for help." - Brian C (06/04/2017)
wiki was in trouble & looked at me
"I don't know if there are sharks." "I'll go deeper." "That's what she said." - Janny M & Bear M & Brian C & Janny M (05/28/2017)
twss said at the same time
"And the girls in yoga pants..." "There weren't any. It's Lowes." - Brian C & Shawn R (05/27/2017)
"I'm not going to play with it when I'm strober." - Brian C (05/27/2017)
he actually said strober; my fidget spinner
"What is Channing Tatum's wife's name?" "Something Tatum..." - Shawn R & Brian C (05/27/2017)
"Wiki still steals from babies." "At least he's doing something right." - Brian C & Kurt W (05/26/2017)
"That's right. America. Cause this car was made in Mexico." - Brian C (05/19/2017)
mustang with american flags
"Not a beer, that's for sure." - Brian C (05/19/2017)
previous quote
"You ask the wrong question... why not?" - Brian C (05/19/2017)
why not take the doors off a truck
"I can charge it at the hotel room because the thingy has the thingy." "That was a very intelligent thing you just said." - Janny M & Brian C (05/18/2017)
the place we were staying has a tesla charger
"Don't. That's sticky." "It's not sticky." "That's what she said." - Janny M & Brian C & Shawn R (05/13/2017)
"You just killed your wife." "She killed herself." - Brian C & Bear M (05/12/2017)
in trivia murder night game
"It's a little stiff." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (04/28/2017)
"It doesn't look that big." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (04/28/2017)
"There are some women who like George W Bush. They're fricken idiots but they're out there." - Brian C (04/28/2017)
"Feminism." "That would do it." - Brian C & Janny M (04/22/2017)
what brought the orgy to a grinding hault
"Jen, was it chunky?" - Brian C (04/22/2017)
her peanutbutter
"You can see how deep it is." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (04/22/2017)
the grand canyon
"Did you get it all the way in?" "Yes." "That's what she said." - Shawn R & Brian C & Janny M (04/22/2017)
"She's like sixty." - Brian C (03/24/2017)
i did a cat call
"No. He won't look like Shawn." - Brian C (03/24/2017)
a kid that fell and hurt his face
"They moved out as soon as Jen moved in... White girl ruin everything." - Brian C (03/24/2017)
their next door neighbors
"No, it's four fingers and a thumb..." "I don't get it." - Brian C & Janny M (03/24/2017)
"That's legal!" - Brian C & Dana G (03/18/2017)
both said it at the same time; refering to a 20 year old
"Lindsay or Lori?" "I assume that was your right or your left." - Jeff D & Brian C (03/11/2017)
what jeff names his hands
"That's a sad night." "...Yeah." - Brian C & Bear M (03/03/2017)
holy bible
"Brian, do we need to have an intervention?" "Been there. Done that." - Brian C & Bear M (03/03/2017)
"That's something that might actually get asked." - Brian C (02/24/2017)
how to fix a bopit... we asked siri & she knew
"If you're not here tomorrow, I'm to instruct them to do everything through the back, right?" "Yes." "Come on, let's hear it." "That's what she said." "That's right." - Janny M & Brian C (02/23/2017)
"This backyard has to be presentable." "Don't worry. You won't be here." - Jen R & Brian C (02/18/2017)
people coming to see their house
"Damn history major." "I know." - Brian C & Kurt W (02/17/2017)
"What do you usually use?" "Ice out of the refrigerator." - Brian C & Kurt W (02/17/2017)
ice from the refrigerator?
"I wouldn't have lost that hard." "You did!" - Jason H & Brian C (02/11/2017)
they went down in cards
"I can make 'em bigger." "That's what she said." - Megan Wi & Brian C (02/05/2017)
"Why isn't the clock running?" "Cause it's an injury." - Matt Wi & Brian C (02/05/2017)
"Is she safe?" "Yes and so are the rest of us because Shawn's driving." - Jen R & Brian C (02/04/2017)
"That's an interesting looking pole... train them young." - Brian C (02/04/2017)
molly's game looked like it had a stripper pole in it
"He starts Jen's fire using friction." - Brian C (02/04/2017)
"I have to pee... or else I'd be taking my book." - Brian C (01/30/2017)
"How did he catch that?" "With his hands." - Aunt Janet & Brian C (01/22/2017)
"I'd rather die immediately just so you know." - Brian C (01/20/2017)
nuclear fallout
"Alright, Janis, what's in your pussy?" - Brian C (01/20/2017)
cah black card
"I said I was tipsy and needed something to do... is it up?" "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (01/13/2017)
bri texting dana since it's the launch of her game
"I was combining the two." "R G Kelly?" "That's what it sounded like." - Brian C & Janny M & Shawn R (01/07/2017)
"Sorry I didn't have any ones. That would bring back good memories for her." - Brian C (01/07/2017)
if jen were a stripper; jen was dancing
"I mean what city makes a statue of a fictional character?" - Brian C (01/07/2017)
philly; shot at shawn
"Really, my options are cancer and giant cum from outer space?" - Brian C (01/07/2017)
cah
"So this is more fun..." - Brian C (12/23/2016)
"I saw that when I went on my walk." "What walk?" - Brian C & Donald OW (12/10/2016)
apparently this was a diss
"I put three chairs out." "There's four of us." - Jen R & Brian C (12/09/2016)
chairs by the fire
"He's bare handing it." "It's frozen." - Brian C & Shawn R (12/09/2016)
cleaning up dog poop
"Cause white cubes matter." "All cubes matter." - Corey K & Brian C (11/04/2016)
game we played with white cubes
"Tell her, tell her." "Okay so my parents..." "Okay, let me tell her." - Janny M & Brian C (10/28/2016)
"It's gonna go the way of Dakota... out the door." - Brian C (10/22/2016)
"Hot pink?" "Sure. Who needs resale value?" - Janny M & Brian C (10/21/2016)
what color we should do our siding on our house
"Okay. We will drop the pooping discussions." "You don't mean... drop..." - Brian C & Kurt W (10/21/2016)
"Are you that drunk?" "I wish. Maybe then I'd forget that sight." - Janny M & Brian C (10/14/2016)
shawn's goat
"We need more wood." "That's what she said." - Shawn R & Brian C & Jen R (10/14/2016)
brian & jen said twss at the same time
"That was three months ago." - Brian C (10/08/2016) (pic)
happy bday bob
"I want to get one when he's not making a silly face." "Good luck with that. We're men. We're born with silly faces." - Heidi C & Brian C (10/01/2016)
"My parents are virgins." "Nice." - Brian C & Heidi C (10/01/2016)
"You're missing the smart." "Oh." - Brian C & Jason H (09/30/2016)
the smart part of UMBC
"You know what would be cool?" "Your go?" "That would be cool." - Kim Mo & Brian C (09/17/2016)
it was her go
"I've had much worse operations in my mouth." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (09/13/2016)
"Thirties are the best age." "How do you know? You're still twenty eight." "Well, that's true." - Aunt Ruth & Brian C (08/28/2016)
"Teachers don't exactly work hard." - Brian C (08/21/2016)
they get a lot of days off
"Wow, you do have a lot of one's." "Yeah, it was a good night." - Brian C & Heidi C (08/19/2016)
"You're just not going deep enough." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (08/19/2016)
"They're a little bit bigger, too." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (08/19/2016)
i think it was cookies
"I can do Heidi or the Mexican." - Brian C (08/19/2016)
mexican train
"Shag carpeting is a way to tell..." - Brian C (08/12/2016)
swingers
"Wait. Something goes in there." "That's what she said." - Matt Wi & Brian C (07/22/2016)
a bag; putting the game away
"Okay, whatever. Put 'em in." "That's what she said." - Matt Wi & Brian C & Janny M (07/22/2016)
twss said at the same time
"You can try to motorboat your way there." - Brian C (07/21/2016)
"Why isn't it going in right?" "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (07/15/2016)
"I'm confused." "Yeah, same as me." - Brian C & Dylan R (07/09/2016)
"Based on the roads, I better stay sober." - Brian C (07/04/2016)
getting to becky's is very tricky
"There are birds in there." "Were." - Kim Mo & Brian C (07/03/2016)
in her bird house; shooting off fireworks
"Well that might help in the long run." - Brian C (07/02/2016)
"Too bad we have to work." "So sad." - Brian C & Chris Su (06/17/2016)
chris is retired
"They need to trim that bush." "That's what she said." - Janny M & Brian C (06/14/2016)
a tree was blocking a road sign
"Ou, look at the puppy, ou!" "That's a kitty cat." - Janny M & Brian C (06/12/2016)
"And my pants are still at your place." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (06/12/2016)
"Don't worry, I'll be super quick." "That's what he said." - Dr Dana W & Brian C (06/12/2016)
"Use the right lane to turn left?" "I know. Stupid s**t." - Brian C & Dr Dana W (06/10/2016)
"Something edible?" "Yeah." - Brian C & Alex B (05/28/2016)
what he wanted for dinner
"Sorry about it getting wet." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (05/21/2016)
"Aww, you're drinking cheap s**t." "It's still ten percent!" - Kim Mo & Brian C (05/21/2016)
cheap wine
"You were interested in that one girl in the bikini." "What girl? There were a lot of girls in bikinis." - Brian C & Jeff D (05/05/2016)
"You... you're sitting here with the evidence." - Brian C (04/30/2016)
in bs, david wasn't calling it on anyone
"But she doesn't have testicles?" - Brian C (04/30/2016)
miley cirus
"Every man knows how to beat it." - Brian C (04/30/2016)
"Who the f**k is Jen yelling at?" "Her phone." - Janny M & Brian C (04/29/2016)
"We haven't talked about dick sizes yet." "There's time." - Brian C & Alex B (04/08/2016)
in the democratic race
"Did you take your grandkids to see that movie?" - Brian C (04/08/2016)
to alex; we were making fun of alex's age but he's younger than us
"Where's your poker?" "I assume it's in his pants." - Janny M & Brian C (04/02/2016)
shawn's poker for the fire
"If only they made something to put something on when it's cold." - Brian C (04/02/2016)
jen complaining about the cold
"I have two degrees in English. I'm not putting numbers on it." "He's putting letters." - Jeff D & Brian C (04/01/2016)
"No, you have a chip. You have to stick it in." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (04/01/2016)
"No. That's not a Rogue. It looks like a piece of s**t." - Brian C (04/01/2016)
"That's pretty deep!" "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (03/20/2016)
"They're both up." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (03/19/2016)
"In a dreamy voice. It's very conflicting." - Brian C (03/18/2016)
mike has been talking with his recruiter
"Is that enough to get it up?" "That's what she said." - Brian C & Stacy M (03/12/2016)
one of the perfect ones
"Well that doesn't give him the right to steal s**t." "Duh. That's why he's serving a sentence." - Jen R & Brian C (03/04/2016)
"Woah! Bernie Sanders won a coin toss?" - Brian C (02/11/2016)
to go first in the debate; hillary won 6 of 6 during io primaries
"Maybe you should go down as you are." "I'd get a response." - Janny M & Brian C (01/25/2016)
bri was naked and trying to get our wifi password
"No. You need to go into a New York accent." "Howdy, yall." - Brian C & Janny M (01/25/2016)
apparently i had a thick accent & they couldn't understand atlas beer I ordered
"It'll go down fairly easily. It just won't go back up." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (01/23/2016)
"Well there is a chain, there's just nothing to put it into." "That's what she said." - Jeff D & Brian C (01/23/2016) (pic)
"You're quick on the trigger this morning." "That's what she said last night, too." - Janny M & Brian C (01/16/2016)
joking about a one night stand for jeff
"Let's all try to be adults now." "Uh, have we met?" - Jen R & Brian C (01/08/2016)
"My entire life is in my phone." "Yeah, you're an American." - Janny M & Brian C (01/01/2016)
"They actually left a plunger in there for us." - Brian C (01/01/2016)
his bathroom at work
"...But my aces..." - Brian C (01/01/2016)
he held on to two aces but they got trumped
"I got plenty of cock." - Brian C (12/31/2015)
"I had my fruit for the year." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (12/31/2015)
in his drink
"I'm not paying attention and that's my problem." - Brian C (12/04/2015)
"All the fours are out unfortunately." "Haha. Un-four-tunately?" - Brian C & Janny M (12/04/2015)
pun!
"I'll go down now." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (12/04/2015)
"It's been a few days..." "...Since he's had pants on." - Brian C & Jeff D (11/28/2015)
"Yeah, they touch us." - Brian C (10/24/2015)
field of screams guys touch you
"One thing that made Peyton Manning so successful..." "Papa John's pizza?" - Brian C & Janny M (10/18/2015)
"It's amazing what t*ts can do to a man." "I wouldn't know." - Brian C & Mike O (10/16/2015)
"George Washington lives at..." "Mount Rushmore." - Brian C & Janny M (10/09/2015)
i had a few at the time
"You're there for the entertainment." "What entertainment?" "The drunk people." "Yeah." - Brian C & Janny M & Alex B (09/23/2015)
alex said yeah
"Mike can play with his balls." - Brian C (09/19/2015)
"Somebody needs to tame that jungle." "That's what she said." - Shawn R & Brian C (09/05/2015)
shawn's neighbors yard
"She's mixing wine and vodka." "Uh, I don't know how that's gonna taste." - Brian C & Shawn R (08/15/2015)
"It helps when they're watching the tape." - Brian C (08/08/2015)
redskins shot glasses owned by the redskins coaches
"So how did you order?" "Meat, cheese, bun." "That's what she said." - Jeff D & Brian C (08/07/2015)
"She could not come." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Jeff D (07/31/2015)
"Why did you name it honey dew?" "Cause honey pot doesn't fit with the melon theme." - Janny M & Brian C (07/25/2015)
his planet in gaw
"Except I wasn't sure if it was you or David." - Brian C (07/23/2015)
who touched his butt when he was shooting
"I can't." - Brian C (07/18/2015)
get too drunk; he didn't have that much gray goose
"I don't think you're big enough." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (07/18/2015)
"You have a forty five dollar cat bed." - Brian C (07/11/2015)
dylan's desk he doesn't use
"I'm going to the bathroom." "Don't fall." - Brian C & Mike O (07/10/2015)
bri was tipsy
"So a guy walks into a bar with a giraffe..." "Why the long face." - Brian C & Leslie B (07/02/2015)
trying to guess the joke?
"They dangle very low." "What did you get middle aged nuts or something?" - Brian C & Jason F (07/02/2015)
"We weren't interested with the up and down." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (06/27/2015)
"I don't know how Megan meets all these swingers." "I know!" - Brian C & Megan Wi (06/06/2015)
"Okay I can play with this while I'm waiting for food... You can say the same thing about my penis." - Brian C (05/17/2015)
his phone (gaw)
"It's not cheating." "What's not cheating?" "If it's the same sex." "Yeah, that's not cheating." - Brian C & Mitch's friend (05/08/2015)
"It needs a tune up so why don't we put more stress on the engine?" - Brian C (05/02/2015)
"Where can I find a male order bride?" - Brian C (05/02/2015)
siri's answer was 'you'll have to unlock your iphone first'
"Do I make you randy?" - Brian C (05/02/2015)
siri's answer was 'i'd rather not say'
"Your horn doesn't work." "It does. It's just extremely stiff." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (05/02/2015)
"Baby, you must be Visa cause you're running through my mind." - Brian C (04/25/2015)
what?
"Yes, they have nipples." "Awesome." - Brian C & Joe C (04/18/2015)
the ping pong balls i got for bri
"You just want a collar around Janis, don't you?" - Brian C (04/18/2015)
david would be jaba if i'm slave leah
"Do you want me to stop coming over here? Cause that's gonna get me to stop." - Brian C (03/28/2015)
kim talking about big spiders
"You drive drunk but you won't drive without a license?" - Brian C (03/17/2015)
"Car titles? Yeah." - Brian C (03/13/2015)
what burns well in the fire
"It's raining, it's pouring. The old man is snoring." "Shawn's not snoring." "F**k you." - Jen R & Brian C & Shawn R (03/13/2015)
"That's the perfect song to make love to." "It's raining, it's pouring?" - Jen R & Brian C (03/13/2015)
"Sweetie, you still live like you're in your twenties." I am in my twenties." "You're not in your twenties and I didn't call you sweetie." - Shawn R & Brian C (03/13/2015)
"Is that too much info?" - Brian C (03/07/2015)
bri was trying to explain in depth something with david's car
"Yes, with the brass boobs." - Brian C (03/07/2015)
his avatar for civilization
"All wars were fought with poor people." "Poor people. That's true." - Brian C & Matt Wi (02/06/2015)
"Well because I like flaming stuff on other people..." - Brian C (02/06/2015)
"Okay. Let me get this thing lubed up then hopefully it'll run." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (02/03/2015)
the piece for the heater
"Did you like that one? "Yeah. Why do you think I said it that way?" - Janny M & Brian C (02/03/2015)
the quote above; he set me up
"It's a twig." "It's a sapling." - Brian C & Mike O (01/30/2015)
bri's pennie
"Why do you guys assume I'm gonna hit my wife?" - Brian C (01/30/2015)
"The rich get taxed." "Hard." "About time." - Janny M & Mike O & Brian C (01/30/2015)
catan, a 7 rolled
"I'm surprised it doesn't work. We only used it a few times." "That's what she said." - Dawn B & Brian C (01/28/2015)
their deep fryer
"Erin went with a common name like Erin?" "Yeah. Best name ever." - Brian C & Erin L (01/27/2015)
"Is it only happening with a few vehicles or is it a fleet-wide epidemic?" - Brian C (01/26/2015)
bri talking on the phone to work
"I can see my breath." "That's cause you're smoking." - Jen R & Brian C (01/24/2015)
"I got my meal right there in Paul's lap." - Brian C (01/23/2015)
there were snacks in his lap lol
"Is this is a conversation we really want to have before dinner?" "Yes cause it's important." - Brian C & David Ga (01/16/2015)
talking about discentary?
"I'm just saying that for the next time, baby." "So another two weeks." - Jen R & Brian C (01/10/2015)
the next time they have sex
"Dakota can you move your a*s?" "She said the same thing about you." - Jen R & Brian C (01/10/2015)
"Sorry. My hand might be a little cold from drawing penises." - Brian C (01/10/2015)
on their window
"Nipples don't burn anyway." "The hell they don't." - Brian C & Mike O (01/09/2015)
"I'm not used to adding numbers. Have you seen my mel?" - Brian C (01/01/2015)
pinochle
"Dad. We're on the board." - Brian C (12/25/2014)
bri and jason weren't doing too well in cards
"Help me, doctor. I've got homeless people in my butt." "They're not homeless anymore." - Brian C & Kurt W (12/12/2014)
"I've got four that make me look gay and the really cool hat." - Brian C (12/12/2014)
white cards
"You look like an Indian." "How." "Not that kind." - Aunt Janet & Brian C (11/27/2014)
"Wow. I have two balls." - Brian C (11/27/2014)
dog toys
"It's a big black..." "Train." - Mike O & Janny M & Brian C (11/14/2014)
me & bri said train at the same time
"She only went two deep." "That's what she said." - Kurt W & Brian C (11/14/2014)
"Aw, Shawn, are you out of wood?" - Brian C (11/08/2014)
"Paper will only get you five seconds." "So will sex with Shawn." - Shawn R & Brian C (11/08/2014)
for the fire
"I must have had a whole glass." "Wow, a whole glass!" - Jen R & Janny M & Brian C (11/08/2014)
me & bri said the last at the same time... a whole glass of wine
"No, he wanted it deeper." "That's what she said." "Why, I even got that." - Brian C & Janny M & Jen R (11/08/2014)
"Who do Barbarians look like?" "A bunch of b***hes with some knives." - Brian C & Mike O (10/24/2014)
"Babe. There's a lost tribes man there." "So?" "Well, he's lost." - Janny M & Brian C & Kurt W (10/24/2014)
"All you have to do is hand cuff him for a few days." "Naw, I've been through that." - Brian C & Bear M (10/18/2014)
what erin should do with bear
"Who's going to smoke in that car?" "It was the eighties." - Janny M & Brian C (10/09/2014)
a 1980's farrari had ash trays
"Oh s**t!" "What? Did you leave your vibrator in the freezer?" - Jen R & Brian C (10/04/2014)
"Now we know that Kurt's been telling the truth. You do have a sweet a*s." - Brian C (10/03/2014)
tics are drawn to him
"Augmentation go big!" - Brian C (10/03/2014)
"F**king idiot." "Me or Delila?" - Brian C & Janny M (10/03/2014)
"Oh my God!" "Did you see yourself in the mirror again?" - Janny M & Brian C (10/03/2014)
"We don't need to see any of those home videos you guys have been making." - Brian C (09/26/2014)
"So watch your drinking." "That's your liver." - Aunt Ruth & Brian C (09/13/2014)
aunt ruth was saying take care of your kidneys
"So have you started walking around naked yet?" "No." "Oh, yes we have." - Brian C & Mike O & Kurt W (09/12/2014)
now that cindy has moved out
"It was not that hard." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (09/07/2014)
"I already put mine in the baggy." "That's what he said." - Janny M & Brian C (08/20/2014)
"Do you often have problems getting wood?" - Brian C (08/20/2014)
"Did you watch Honey Boo Boo?" "I did." - Brian C & Dawn B (08/18/2014)
it's on record now!
"It's not a hole, it's just... thin..." - Brian C (08/16/2014)
"In the back country?" "We're going down eighty one." "That doesn't mean it's not back country." - Kurt W & Mike O & Brian C (08/01/2014)
"Sorry, we're not interested." - Brian C (08/01/2014)
in the game sorry
"He has a very large... practice." "I thought you were going to say another P word." - Brian C & Megan Wi (07/30/2014)
"I think this is a southern thing." - Brian C (07/30/2014)
one of megan's stories
"I f**king hate you." - Brian C (07/30/2014)
small world
"It's much better up the butt." "That's what she said." - Megan Wi & Brian C (07/17/2014)
"Try going up two seventy at night in the afternoon." - Brian C (07/17/2014)
what?
"I don't know why you were sifting through it but okay." - Brian C (07/11/2014)
leah poo
"If they left all the heavy stuff, they'll have to leave Mike." - Brian C (07/11/2014)
heavy winter coats when going to the tropics in winter
"All aboard!" "That's what she said." - Janny M & Brian C (07/11/2014)
"I think the bleach has gone straight to the brain." - Brian C (06/28/2014)
mike
"I need to know what six weeks from now is." "Christmas." - Brian C & Mike O (06/27/2014)
"Which one's the married couple?" - Brian C (06/20/2014)
mike & his mom bickering
"Are these b***hes dead?" "Yes, those b***hes are dead." - Janny M & Brian C (06/11/2014)
"I wanted something fast and quick." "That's why you have Kurt." - Mike O & Brian C (06/06/2014)
"Well that was from Truly Tasteless Jokes book." "No, I saw a picture." - Joy J & Brian C (05/26/2014)
"Here is the dining room." "Also used for sex." - Brian C & Mike D (05/03/2014)
giving mike the dime tour
"You would wax your turtle?" "Yeah, with turtle wax." - Mike D & Brian C (05/03/2014)
"Anybody have wood?" "Well I might after this song." - Brian C & Mike D (05/03/2014)
talk dirty was playing
"Cause you drive on the left side of the road... or the right side..." - Brian C (04/26/2014)
"First I get groped by T S A." "Oh, you liked it." - Brian C & Dr Dana W (04/26/2014)
"It's a cushy government gig, how can you not like that?" - Brian C (04/25/2014)
"There's eleven mile lake which is..." "Eleven miles long?" "Yeah, pretty much." - Dr Dana W & Brian C (04/25/2014)
"I could get in." "Yes but how would you get out?" - Brian C & Dr Dana W (04/25/2014)
"A meme having a stroke." "A mime." - Brian C & Shawn R (04/19/2014)
what's a meme?
"The anus?" "Yes, the other spot the penis goes." - Jen R & Brian C (04/19/2014)
"Remember, Matt doesn't sleep with married women." - Brian C (04/16/2014)
"Snake eyes is two." - Brian C (04/11/2014)
mike said snake eyes when he rolled a 3
"You know stealing a kid is a lot easier than the whole nine months thing." "I know." - Brian C & Tricia B (04/02/2014)
"Better to go now than in the middle of the game." "That doesn't stop Mike." - Kurt W & Brian C (03/28/2014)
go to the bathroom
"Where's the best spot?" "Where you tried to stick my a*s." - Janny M & Brian C (03/28/2014)
near the desert & water in catan
"I want to laugh." "There's a mirror in the bathroom." - Mike O & Brian C (03/28/2014)
"We just assumed you were a dumb teenager." "So, yeah, I was." - Brian C & James M (03/15/2014)
"I've seen smaller." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (03/04/2014)
smaller ovens
"Wait. Don't I have to put it in first?" "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (03/01/2014)
"Maryland gets more snow than Virginia." "Yeah, cause Maryland is more north." - Mike O & Brian C (02/28/2014)
"And you didn't have to send them to yourself this year." "I know!" - Brian C & Leslie B (02/15/2014)
leslie got flowers for v day
"He looks very unhappy." "That's because he hadn't met me." - Brian C & Leslie B (02/15/2014)
"I'm not going to trust some random person online... I might meet her!" - Brian C (02/15/2014)
talking about leslie
"There's always next time? When is that ever applicable?" "His next girlfriend." - Leslie B & Brian C (02/15/2014)
"Clown's boners always win." - Brian C (02/08/2014)
"If only there was a cook at the table you could ask." - Brian C (02/01/2014)
bear is a cook
"I was all bundled up." "What do you think bums look like?" - Mike O & Brian C (01/24/2014)
"I can't get any black because you take them." "...Okay, I'll take the black." - Brian C & Kurt W (01/24/2014)
i was taking all bri's black in ticket to ride, then kurt started taking them
"Yeah, there's bugs out there." - Brian C (01/05/2014)
going camping instead of video games
"By the way, your wife chose the state." - Brian C (01/04/2014)
their dog, dakota; now north dakota
"Wow. It's so big." "It is." "That's what she said." - Meredith S & Brian C & Janny M (01/03/2014)
"And now we're trying to off-shore." "Yeah, that'll work. What could go wrong?" - Brian C & Uncle Mike (12/25/2013)
bri's work
"Baby, come back to my place and I'll show you... the little engine that could." - Brian C (12/21/2013)
"C*m had to come in there somewhere." - Brian C (12/21/2013)
"Wait. Who's turn is it?" "Yours!" - Janny M & Brian C & Cindy O (12/21/2013)
yours said at the same time
"I was trying to feel around for it." "That's what she said." "I was just going to say that." - Janny M & Brian C & Matt Wi (12/20/2013)
"I don't look good with just a mustache." "No. Nobody does." - Brian C & Matt Wi (12/20/2013)
"Sammy, your wet." "That's what he said." - Kurt W & Brian C (12/06/2013)
"I didn't even look at the outcome." "You lost." - Brian C & Aunt Janet (11/23/2013)
in our fantasy league
"What was your streak?" "I was doing well." - Brian C & Megan Wi (11/18/2013)
"He's doing what all men do." "What? Jerk off? It's not a really great time." - Brian C & Erin L (10/26/2013)
why bear was taking so long
"I think Leah has gas." - Brian C (10/25/2013)
we heard a weird noise
"While you were pissy." - Brian C (10/11/2013)
"Guess who the biggest investor is?" "Microsoft." - Brian C & Erin L (10/04/2013)
not sure why she said microsoft
"Money can't buy me happiness but it can buy me... Republicans." - Brian C (09/27/2013)
it's true
"Look how far that thing is shooting." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (09/21/2013)
water shoots for corn
"I won't be making the same mistakes." "No. You'll be making different ones." - Brian C & Kurt W (09/08/2013)
fantasy football
"We got you your elephant beer." - Brian C (08/31/2013)
"It's like zucchini... only plant one." - Brian C (08/22/2013)
"So how do you park in D C?" "It's easy. You go to where it says valet." - Mike O & Brian C (08/22/2013)
parking a big truck in dc
"Why does a forester have a cook? Anyway..." - Brian C (08/01/2013)
a bedtime story
"Did you bit him back?" "No. He's dirty." - Brian C & Erin L (07/19/2013)
oscar bit her
"I would never play a game called 'corn hole'." "I would. But not in prison." - Brian C & Bear M (07/19/2013)
"Cause the leather would ruin the ball..." - Brian C (07/13/2013)
"What were you?" "Copping a feel." - Brian C & Janny M (07/12/2013)
"So you were betting heavily on the rain?" - Brian C (06/28/2013)
mike not wanting to walk so he shook his head yes
"I'd be adding clothes." - Brian C (06/28/2013)
undressing some people on the metro
"It's your partner who's aging us." - Brian C (06/15/2013)
uncle neil
"And the winner. I drink to forget George W Bush." - Brian C (06/14/2013)
"What the hell is this?" "It's a napkin." - Patrick M & Brian C (05/31/2013)
"Molly, be careful." "That's right. Don't take driving lessons from your mom." - Jen R & Brian C (05/27/2013)
"That's not funny." "Yeah, it is." - Jen R & Shawn R & Brian C (05/27/2013)
the thing i said, 'yeah it is' said at the same time
"I'm going to need more than a Kleenex." - Brian C (05/26/2013)
his score
"He voted for Bush." "That's because he was under the influence..." - Brian C & Leslie B (05/25/2013)
seth
"It's a bunch of penises." "Oh, it's mine." - Brian C & Seth W (05/25/2013)
scribbilish
"I ran out of room. I was going to add the poop later." - Brian C (05/25/2013)
scribblish
"They can be truck drivers." "That's even more disturbing..." - Brian C & Fanchon F (04/27/2013)
ex cons
"I would say you were in good company but it's Allan." - Brian C (04/27/2013)
"I like the blocks. It's a nice touch." - Brian C (04/12/2013)
a joke
"Kurt, what direction did I throw that ball?" "I'm not sure..." - Brian C & Kurt W (04/12/2013)
bri threw a ball forward but it hit me instead when i was behind him
"Makes no fricken sense." "Neither does your face." - Brian C & Janny M (04/12/2013)
"Do you still consider yourself a girl?" "Are you talking to me?" - Brian C & Seth W (03/23/2013)
"I heard she was pregnant again." "Who? Angela Landsbury?" - Brian C & Janny M (03/23/2013)
"What's bad is that Erin dated this guy..." - Brian C (03/03/2013)
the guy from hs erin saw his butt, he's all muscly
"Did you just do Candi and a pirate voice?" - Brian C (03/01/2013)
yes i did
"What's wrong, Pumpkin? Are they not sweet enough?" "No. They're kinda bitter." - Brian C & Mike O (03/01/2013)
"Beards are nice." "I don't know. I don't let mine grow out." - Brian C & Leslie B (02/23/2013)
"You have to go potty, don't you?" "Um, I'm good right now." - Brian C & Leslie B (02/23/2013)
bri was talking to candi
"Well it's a his and hers." "In a guest bathroom?" - Brian C & Mike O (02/22/2013)
"Sheeba here might make it to twenty." "I hope not." - Brian C & Mike O (02/22/2013)
"I don't know why they don't want us walking down there... It looks perfectly safe." - Brian C (02/10/2013)
*picture to follow of an old riketty deck*
"Now the Jack In The Box founder who stars in all their T V commercials?" "Jack..." "Box..." - Brian C & Kurt W & Mike O (01/18/2013)
it's true! his last name is box
"Grace Kelly... She's dead." - Brian C (01/11/2013)
"I found something hard in it." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Dawn B (12/31/2012)
"I know several male sluts." "Haha, you should put that on a shirt." - Brian C & Allan B (12/30/2012)
"Did you say repeal the second amendment?" "No." "Then you're not stupid." - Brian C & Janny M (12/22/2012)
room full of rednecks
"Am I blind?" - Brian C (12/15/2012)
--RESTRICTED QUOTE--
"Well you wanna know the scores?" "No." "Well I'm gonna tell you anyway." - Mike O & Brian C (11/24/2012)
"That's not good... Oh goodie!" - Brian C (11/16/2012)
"Well, we didn't move." - Brian C (11/06/2012)
we got redistricted :(
"I could use the money for other things." "Like more Christmas decorations." "Don't say that." - Kurt W & Brian C (11/02/2012)
"Distinguished..." "Pigeons." - Mike O & Brian C (11/02/2012)
"Take that!" "I just gave it to her." - Jennifer C & Brian C (10/27/2012)
the card jennifer just won
"Wait until she reaches double digits first." - Brian C (10/27/2012)
jennifer drinking wine
"Not as bad as Pelosi. I don't think she can move." - Brian C (10/19/2012)
plastic surgery politicians have had
"You can be the beer b***h." "What happens when you call me that s**t?" - Janny M & Brian C (10/13/2012)
i get locked out of the car
"I don't even have a fire place." "Oh, we'll put one in..." - Brian C & Uncle George (10/13/2012)
so we can use the log cutter
"I don't think pelicans go tweet tweet tweet." - Brian C (10/07/2012)
"We have ninety eight... your age." - Brian C (10/06/2012)
their score
"What happened?" "Some jerk..." - Janny M & Brian C (10/06/2012)
pointing at uncle neil
"They're both a s**t load better than Drew Brees." - Brian C (09/29/2012)
ponder or kolb
"You'd look good in an apron." "I do, though." - Brian C & Bear M (09/16/2012)
"How do you lobby for mold?" - Brian C (09/01/2012)
"Why is 'You Oughta Know' on my run mix?" "You oughta know." - Janny M & Brian C (08/22/2012)
"I didn't want to give fifty meld with all queens." - Brian C (08/18/2012)
"Is it load bearing?" "Not the half wall..." - Brian C & Kurt W (08/12/2012)
"You are blonde." "Hey!" - Brian C & Aunt Janet & Megan R (07/29/2012)
hey said at the same time
"We can do what co-eds do." "What? Play intermerial sports?" - Brian C & Leslie B (07/21/2012)
"I'm going to die at seventy two." "Did you visit a fortune teller?" - Brian C & Leslie B (07/21/2012)
"They don't have wings." "I don't think that's the definition of a gargoyle." - Brian C & Leslie B (07/21/2012)
"Look Janny. Additional parking in the rear. That's what she said." - Brian C (07/20/2012)
a sign at the restaurant we went
"You wrote slut!" - Brian C (06/30/2012)
it was a drawing of a house
"Do I want to hear this?" "It's not sexual." "I don't wanna hear this..." - Bear M & Erin L & Brian C (06/30/2012)
"Is this boring you?" "No. I'm just thinking about something else." - Brian C & Janny M (06/29/2012)
"It's been years since I've played Sorry." "I'm sorry." - Janny M & Brian C (06/23/2012)
"L O L. Are you hanging out with them?" "No." - Seth W & Janny M & Brian C (06/15/2012)
convo w/ leslie on fb, the 'no' bri and i said at the same time
"Oh, you didn't bring the truck?" "Why would I bring the truck?" - Mom & Brian C (06/02/2012)
"Dude what is this dude doing?" "He's walking." - Janny M & Brian C (06/01/2012)
"I'm missing a house." - Brian C (06/01/2012)
"Let me concentrate on Kurt first." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (06/01/2012)
getting kurt his resources
"The question is what's missing structurally." - Brian C (05/28/2012)
we found a piece of wood on the floor
"I started out clean." "I didn't." - Brian C & Bear M (05/28/2012)
"I had one of those fill in the blank words..." "And you chose penis?" - Bear M & Brian C (05/28/2012)
"People were blowing themselves up with the house." "Oh that's lovely." - Brian C & Wynne G (05/26/2012)
remote controlled fireplaces
"Eileen's driving everybody home." "You picked the wrong person." - Brian C & Eileen D (05/25/2012)
we were all getting tipsy
"I could barely do three balls." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (05/25/2012)
"I'm scared." "Just play through it." - Dawn B & Brian C (05/18/2012)
"Oop. Oh. Not my car." - Brian C (05/02/2012)
he hit a bad bump in his loaner car
"Wait. I got five... no six..." "Nine!" - Mike O & Brian C (04/27/2012)
points
"Good luck, Brian." "S**t." - Brian C & Bear M (04/21/2012)
bri was talking trash
"I told you not to wear shorts." "No you didn't." "You're right but I was thinking it." - Janny M & Brian C (04/21/2012)
--RESTRICTED QUOTE--
"Bri you're untrained." "No, I'm not." - Janny M & Brian C (04/06/2012)
i untrained him but then he got trained again
"If she gets home and dinner's not on the table..." "That's f**ked." - Brian C & Bear M (04/03/2012)
"A Volvo with no emblems is still a Volvo." - Brian C (04/01/2012) (pic)
the volvo had no emblems
"I can only do three." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (03/31/2012)
"F**k." "S**t." "Balls." - Brian C & Janny M & Jake T (03/30/2012)
"Well you have to roll first." "That's dangerous." - Brian C & Kurt W (03/23/2012)
he had more than 7 cards in his hand
--RESTRICTED QUOTE--
"It's not a large enough object." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (03/10/2012)
"Legally Blonde and Legally Blonde Two? Really?" "Those are Jen's." - Brian C & Shawn R (03/03/2012)
"We're gonna have a discussion if my bank is gone." - Brian C (03/02/2012)
if i destroyed his bank in paradise island
"What is it?" "It's an American!" - Brian C & Uncle George (03/02/2012) (pic)
"There's too many inaccuracies to address." - Brian C (03/02/2012)
dave was talking nonsense about the middle east
"Kuwait was part of Iraq. Not f**king Saudi Arabia." - Brian C (03/02/2012)
"A couple years ago I met a penguin..." - Brian C (02/26/2012)
a penguin???
"So if you think about the space shuttle..." - Brian C (02/26/2012)
"That thing does not look ten inches." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (02/23/2012)
the cake he got for me for our anniversary
"Actually a lot of universities are registering it." "For sex?" - Brian C & Dimitri D (02/05/2012)
xxx sites
"Old ladies pinching your butt." "Yes, that was the good part." - Brian C & Jake T (01/27/2012)
of his job
"It was hard before I touched it." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (01/26/2012)
i forgot the context of this quote
"The hard hat is really hard." - Brian C (01/14/2012)
on angry birds
"Hola." "What does that mean?" - Brian C & Leslie B (01/06/2012)
"If we run out of liquor, we're going to have to go to the hospital." - Brian C (12/31/2011)
"You only had to draw one card..." "...Eight..." - Dawn B & Brian C (12/31/2011)
uno we kept putting 4 card draw cards on top so they compiled
"Burn it here." "Yeah, do you have a lighter?" - Brian C & Jeff D (12/31/2011)
texas hold em
"Ou. Throw that here. I'll trade you my nuts." - Brian C (12/25/2011)
tiny bottle of alcohol for nuts
"That's a pretty strong forearm..." - Brian C (12/24/2011)
talking about james...
--RESTRICTED QUOTE--
"Speak for yourself." - Brian C (11/27/2011)
talking to the commentators who hoped the injured eagle was okay
"You noticed that too, huh?" - Brian C (11/27/2011)
eagles couln't stop the pats
"I'm not gonna knock cause I'm fat and slow." - Brian C (11/25/2011)
he took the kids to play ddd
"You're an ore whore." - Brian C (11/23/2011)
paul was hording ore
"The only way I'm buying the car is if J Lo comes with it." - Brian C (11/17/2011)
the fiat
"Do you guys wanna just continue the game we have?" "No." - Janny M & Brian C & Seth W (11/11/2011)
brian & seth said no at the same time, i was winning by a large margin
"It won't sell as well. Do you want a poop diamond?" - Brian C (11/10/2011)
why did they name it chocolate diamond if it's not edible
"He's a Redskin. That's deep." - Brian C (10/23/2011)
brian telling frankie to go deep
"It looks like a big pencil." - Brian C (10/15/2011) (pic)
"Every stadium owns a stadium-wide field." - Brian C (09/11/2011)
really? wow!
"It's about as small as it's gonna get." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (09/10/2011)
--RESTRICTED QUOTE--
"Why would you get your name on your back?" "In case he forgets." - Uncle George & Brian C (08/20/2011)
"You wouldn't believe who does the worst." "Art history?" - Brian C & Leslie B (07/30/2011)
majors who do the worst on the gre's
"She doesn't have the rack." - Brian C (07/22/2011)
cathrine zita jones to be wonderwoman
"Okay, now we have harpoons we're shooting." "It worked in Moby Dick." - Brian C & Erin L (07/22/2011)
"Watch out. I paid a dollar for this cap." - Brian C (07/16/2011)
his dad was hammering near the cap
--RESTRICTED QUOTE--
--RESTRICTED QUOTE--
"Why are you worried? You root for the Bills." "They have new uniforms. I want to see them!" - Brian C & Bear M (07/03/2011)
worrying about football season
"But his fishing is you get string and you tie it to the stick..." "No..." - Brian C & Jon B (06/16/2011)
"I have a tennis racket." "Having a tennis racket and playing tennis are two different things." - Kim Mo & Brian C (06/11/2011)
"I can't keep a fricken wood." "Sounds like a personal problem." - Brian C & Leslie B (05/29/2011)
"You know what my problem is?" "You're gay?" - Brian C & Seth W (05/20/2011)
"I wouldn't do that with these balls." - Brian C (05/13/2011)
"Well that and we rolled a s**t load of sheep." - Brian C (04/29/2011)
"Aw, that came out dark." "Good." - Mom & Brian C (04/24/2011)
picture
"I thought about donating a kidney... but then I couldn't drink so much." "That's the liver." - Stacy M & Brian C (04/23/2011)
"Where am I going to find $500?" "I don't know. Every other bill." - Janny M & Brian C (04/16/2011) (pic)
i was quite wealthy
"Well that just ruins everything." - Brian C (04/09/2011)
aunt ruth did ruin
"I brought you something you're gonna love." "The last time somebody said that, I didn't love it so much." - Brian C & Uncle George (04/02/2011)
"Mom, uh, my name's not Wilma C." - Brian C (04/01/2011)
bri's mail
"How do you get shot at a prison?" - Brian C (03/12/2011)
jen said prison guards get shot at
"It's fat free, right?" "I don't know about that..." - Brian C & Erin L (03/10/2011)
the ice cream & brownies we had
"Nobody's willing to remove a dam." "Dam it!" "This the best dam conversation we've ever had." - Brian C & Janny M & Leslie B (02/19/2011)
say it to yourself
"But I don't know how to play." "Then you're not playing for me." - Janny M & Brian C (02/13/2011)
on his avatar, wii
"I'm just better looking." "I don't know where you get off thinking that." - Brian C & Joe C (02/13/2011)
"It sounds like a poem when you're reading it." "It is a poem!" - Janny M & Tricia B & Brian C & Travis B (02/12/2011)
tricia & bri & travis said "it's a poem" at the same time... FIRST QUADRUPAL QUOTE!
"Nine..." "Excuse me." - Seth W & Brian C (02/04/2011)
"He must really wanna get you home." - Brian C (01/22/2011)
the way adam was playilng hearts
"Do you have dishes?" "No. I have cups." - Brian C & Seth W (01/15/2011)
"There's a new China buffet." "Nude?" - Brian C & Leslie B (01/14/2011)
leslie thought bri said nude china buffet
"Maybe if you weren't wearing so much black." "I'm somber." - Brian C & Leslie B (01/14/2011)
her coat was multing
"Have you ever seen the Milky Way?" "The candy bar?" - Brian C & Bear M (01/07/2011)
--RESTRICTED QUOTE--
"Now you said put it anywhere, right?" - Brian C (12/25/2010) (pic)
smart
"It's time for a fumble." - Brian C (12/19/2010)
rex fumbled after he said it
"What do you have?" "I don't know!" - Brian C & Dawn B (12/03/2010)
"I don't know how to play Uno." "Freak..." - Dawn B & Brian C (12/03/2010)
"Take it." "That's what he said." - Brian C & Dawn B (12/03/2010)
"I don't think I can take it anymore." "That's what she said." - Dawn B & Brian C (12/03/2010)
"It didn't go in the hole." "That's what she said." - Dawn B & Brian C (12/03/2010)
"Did you high five him?" "No." "Well you should have high fived him." - Adam L & Brian C (11/27/2010)
some dude spilled beer on brian
"Late at night?" "Cause nothing happens then..." - Adam L & Brian C (11/27/2010)
leslie was telling a college story
"It's a padded box." - Brian C (11/26/2010)
what pat's in
"Imagine that in Germany. I couldn't see it." - Brian C (11/16/2010)
they drink beer all the time
"Ou, look at the puppy." "It's a kid." - Janny M & Brian C (11/06/2010)
"The way you go through guys." "Are you jealous?" - Brian C & Leslie B (10/29/2010)
"Brian and I are basically tied practically." "You have eighteen on me." - Leslie B & Brian C (10/29/2010)
"I work at it. Hard." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Seth W (10/23/2010)
"Kolb has always thrown the ball well." "Yeah, now fumble the snap again." - Brian C & Allan B (10/03/2010)
eagles game
"I have an erection." "I know, you're looking at me." - Brian C & Seth W (09/18/2010)
"I'm now above Leslie." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Leslie B (09/18/2010)
"They're not strawberries and bananas. Do you know what's really in them?" "Uh, chicken?" - Brian C & Leslie B (09/10/2010)
mc donalds smoothies
"So the car show wasn't that bad?" "Well, you went." - Brian C & Leslie B (08/27/2010)
lol
"I thought you said you weren't good." "I'm not." - Brian C & Tim C (08/20/2010)
he got one in
"Then let me play the chick for a minute..." - Brian C (08/16/2010)
"What do you know about Bertucci's?" "It's an Italian restaurant." - Brian C & Janny M (08/14/2010) (pic)
"I hope that's not our nudity." - Brian C (08/08/2010)
naked chess piece in true blood
"Get a Droid!" - Brian C (07/25/2010)
he yelled that right in front of an apple store
"You're your friends." "So you guys are classy and beautiful?" - Brian C & Leslie B (07/16/2010)
"Where's your refrigerator?" "Uh, it's in the kitchen." - Brian C & Leslie B (07/16/2010)
"No we need him to stay. Send him." - Brian C (07/15/2010)
they wanted jeff but john was better at pool than jeff so bri wanted jeff to go instead
"Paul, did you lose your dick?" "I'll get it back." - Brian C & Paul H (07/09/2010)
"Never sleep with Janis." "Damn. Cross that off on my things to do." - Brian C & Roshy R (07/04/2010)
"Yeah, I think you can take those signs down." - Brian C (06/24/2010) (pic)
we weren't going 50
"My place is so messy." "At least you got the dirty condoms up." - Leslie B & Brian C (06/22/2010)
"What year is that? 1938?" - Brian C (06/18/2010)
mom sent me a picture of uncle george when he was young
"Seth, sit." "I am." - Brian C & Seth W (06/12/2010)
"I didn't realize nut job was coming." "Brian, that's not fair. You live here." - Brian C & Leslie B (06/12/2010)
talking to joe
"Aunt Ruth, I have to warn you, this is a high theft area." "Oh, it is not." - Brian C & Aunt Ruth (06/06/2010)
at dad's house... in the boonies
"He's a bit active tonight..." - Brian C (06/04/2010)
Wiki
"Time to get out my secret weapon." "If she brings out a dildo, I'm leaving." - Leslie B & Brian C (05/29/2010)
"I'm sorry to inform you... Your plant didn't make it." "Oh, I'm growing it like that." - Brian C & Leslie B (05/29/2010) (pic)
"This dog we got from Kentucky..." "Well, that's it right there." - Brian C & Emily S (05/16/2010)
our doggie, what's wrong with him
"It wasn't in all the way, I guess." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Janny M (05/11/2010) 
the perfect one!
"If there's no permanent damage, they're not really hurt." - Brian C (05/11/2010)
i think bri was talking about hurting kids
"I had a great experience in the bathroom this morning." "...Okay." - Brian C & Janny M (05/07/2010)
"Oh, just letting you know, I should be in and out Monday night." "That's what he said." - Brian C & Janny M (05/07/2010)
"They'd lose too many ships if they did it during the winter." - Brian C (05/01/2010)
alaskan cruise lines... whoops, where'd my ship go?
--RESTRICTED QUOTE--
"He's playing hide the pickle with Kate." "They're having pickles?" - Brian C & Leslie B (04/24/2010)
"They weren't crazy. The leaches helped!" - Brian C (04/22/2010)
michael moore was saying how future societies will wonder about our hc like we wondered about leache
"Where's the spatula?" "In the spatula drawer." "Okay..." "Duh." - Brian C & Janny M (04/17/2010)
"Alan's just jealous he doesn't have a bulge." - Brian C (04/17/2010)
like lady gaga, that was bad
"What are they going to do with condoms and dildos?" - Brian C (04/16/2010)
leslie said when she was in costa rica monkeys stole things from her bag
"Yep, we're solid, Leslie, obviously." - Brian C (04/16/2010)
"Yeah cause beer and a nail gun mix real well." - Brian C (04/10/2010)
"Okay, I'm glad I'm just imagining this." - Brian C (04/10/2010)
the gps told us there was no traffic
"I would have caught it if I hadn't been drinking." - Brian C (04/02/2010)
the ping pong ball
"One of my teachers was from West Virginia." "They know how to count?" - Brian C & Ryan L (03/26/2010)
"Under Rico they busted the entire mafia family, right?" "That's a shame." - Brian C & Ryan L (03/26/2010)
--RESTRICTED QUOTE--
"You need to be soulful." "So you have to be high as s**t." - Leslie B & Brian C (03/05/2010)
"Is there something wrong with your music?" "Is there something wrong with your face?" "I think that's self evident." - Janny M & Leslie B & Brian C (03/05/2010)
"I just can't multitask." "That's not what the other two guys said last night." - Leslie B & Brian C (03/05/2010)
LOL!
"Well, those blinds are cheap." "Not the only cheap thing in this room." - Leslie B & Brian C (03/05/2010)
"Fine. I give up. It's not coming." - Brian C (02/20/2010)
he was waiting for a queen
"You should see what's in my hand, baby." "You have a watermelon?" - Brian C & Leslie B (02/12/2010)
"How do you do that?" "Blow jobs." - Brian C & Leslie B (02/12/2010)
"He's gonna be working his ass off." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Dimitri D (02/05/2010)
"In your mom's pants?" "Raisins?" - Brian C & Leslie B (01/29/2010)
"Thirty five, you said? ...Bitch?" - Brian C (01/22/2010)
brian asking david what his score was
"Go for the touchdown!" - Brian C (01/10/2010)
40 seconds left in ravens game, they kneeled!
"And McNabb, you look so good down there." - Brian C (01/09/2010)
on the ground being SACKED!
"No rush?" - Brian C (01/09/2010)
2 minutes left with eagles down 20 points
"But they bother me." "Every book bothers you." - Janny M & Brian C (01/04/2010)
trying to clean before vegas
"Imagine that. You're not breaking the law and you don't get pulled over." - Brian C (12/31/2009)
leslie & i run yellows then kiss our hands & put it to the top of the car
"Eminem's a white man." "Yeah, you're right. He is white." - Brian C & Allan B (12/28/2009)
"Intercept! Intercept! Intercept! ...Aww!" - Brian C & Allan B & Janny M (12/28/2009)
rooting for cutler to throw an interception
"Whatever. My hand's over." - Brian C (12/26/2009)
"You're more into Miley, aren't you?" - Brian C (12/17/2009)
roshy doesn't like taylor swift
"It has something imprinted on there." "What does it say?" "Property of Marriott." - Leroy C & Ricky C & Brian C (12/12/2009)
"The balls are rather large." - Brian C (12/12/2009)
--RESTRICTED QUOTE--
"David has a habit of keeping his mouth shut." "I do. Especially with her and her pads." - Brian C & David E (12/04/2009)
my quotes
"So what are the scores?" "Shut up." - Janny M & Brian C (12/04/2009)
i was kicking ass
"So you know how it feels to have extra weight behind you?" "I learn from the best." - Leslie B & Brian C (11/28/2009)
"Alright, the girls have already won two." - Brian C (11/28/2009)
we kicked ass at pool... mostly because they messed up
"If we had Favre, it would have been in the endzone at least." - Brian C (11/22/2009)
cambels hail mary
"Have they already made love?" "Yeah." "Damn it." - Brian C & Paul H (11/17/2009)
"I don't know how far I can stretch it." "We are talking about Germantown, aren't we?" - Brian C & Leslie B (11/13/2009)
lol
"Do you think your dad wants to talk to me?" "No." - Leslie B & Brian C (11/13/2009)
"Like if a running back is running... back..." - Brian C (11/08/2009)
"Obviously, her chest, yes." - Brian C (10/30/2009)
"Don't get in between a girl and her food." "Especially Leslie." - Leslie B & Brian C (10/30/2009)
"I hope he's better in bed than he is at darts." - Brian C (10/30/2009)
being bad
"I wanna model myself after you." "I know you do. But I'm not as big as you." - Leslie B & Brian C (10/30/2009)
"What we do is we get a bottle of rum..." "I'm up for it." - Brian C & Ray L (10/30/2009)
we need to teach ray how to play rummy
"Walking to Sheetz at two O clock in the morning?" "That's what everybody does in college!" - Brian C & Leslie B (10/30/2009)
"Okay, where am I guys?" "You're up in a latter, but..." - Brian C & Uncle George (10/17/2009)
wondering if he's screwing in the right area of the drywall
"I don't know what those people are doing." "Well look at their license plate, it says it all." - Shawn R & Brian C (10/10/2009)
they were from pennsylvania
"That's alcohol abuse!" "That's me drinking it before." - Brian C & Shawn R (10/09/2009)
he drank it before he'd throw it at bri
"No, it tastes like cock." "You would know best." - Shawn R & Brian C (10/09/2009)
"Of course we did good. We won!" - Brian C (10/03/2009)
"Is Madden doing this game?" "No, why?" "All the food." - Brian C & Janny M (09/20/2009)
"Some have gotta be from his generation... Well maybe not from the eighteen hundreds..." - Brian C (09/18/2009)
making fun of dimitri i'm sure, or maybe shawn
"Why do you have to be racist? Why does it have to be the black one?" "Cause it's black." - Brian C & Shawn R (09/12/2009)
the black controller
"It goes along with Janis' masturbation." - Brian C (09/12/2009)
hobbies that start with M
"I put Shawn's wife." "I'll accept it." - Brian C & Shawn R (09/12/2009)
"I'm a failure, Dakota, I'm a failure." - Brian C (09/11/2009)
brian failed at singing a song on guitar hero 5
"These shrimp taste like s**t." "That you've actually tasted s**t before to compare is actually quite impressive." - Brian C & Jen R (09/05/2009)
"What? A big, thick burrito? That's something she's not used to." - Brian C (09/05/2009)
talking about jen eating a burrito
"Wait. Did someone lose a child?" - Brian C (08/30/2009)
there was an extra kid on the board
"It's two bucks extra for the grip." "F**k the grip." - Shawn R & Brian C (08/29/2009)
buying oil filter
"Stac, do you like speed bumps?" "No." - Brian C & Stacy M (08/28/2009)
she said no in a very cute way
"He does not look happy." "He's a horseshoe crab." - Brian C & Jen R (08/15/2009)
"I can make it so it looks like Bush is threatening my life." "Well, he is. You're a democrat." - Janny M & Brian C (08/11/2009)
"Holy crap, that's a house?" - Brian C (08/08/2009)
castle like house we saw
"I'm incredibly flexible like Jen." "I don't think you could be with that gut." - Brian C & Shawn R (08/05/2009)
"Whatever I do, when I see it, I can't help but eat." "I'm trying to eat!" - Brian C & Jen R (08/05/2009)
bri was talking about a different kind of eat
"What did I just kick?" "Me." - Janny M & Brian C (08/05/2009)
"Do you want this down your pants?" "Well, I have pretty baggy pants so..." - Brian C & Janny M (07/31/2009)
"Finally, something's big in this apartment and it's not Shawn." - Brian C (07/31/2009)
"What's in your pants? It's hurting me." "My phone... my cock..." "Naw, that wouldn't hurt... too small." - Janny M & Brian C & Shawn R (07/31/2009)
"You're just as annoying." "That's not true." "Yeah, you're right. He's way better." - Janny M & Jen R & Brian C (07/27/2009)
"The smallest of a lot of things is yours too." - Brian C (07/26/2009)
"My headache won't go away." "Mine will at around 10 tonight." - Jen R & Brian C (07/26/2009)
when jen is leaving
"Jen, how would you like it if we took your toy and threw it in your face?" "She probably wouldn't do anything with it." - Brian C & Shawn R (07/24/2009)
ohhh!
"Forty years and we haven't done a single thing since." "That's not true. We did clothes Leslie." - Janny M & Brian C (07/23/2009)
"Even the smurfs got fricken wet." - Brian C (07/19/2009)
his boxers
"She caught a fifteen inch bass." "I'm sure as soon as she did she said 'I wish Shawn was this big'." - Shawn R & Brian C (07/10/2009)
jen
"Yes, N... N as in Nancy... N as in... something else." - Brian C (07/05/2009)
"Looks like he broke down... It's a Chrysler." - Brian C (06/26/2009)
some1 on the side of the road
"Oh, I'm always fat." - Brian C (06/13/2009)
"That's why I thought it would be safe to name them that." - Brian C (06/13/2009)
he picked safe names to name his hands then he dated 1
"Let's see how they f**ked up my bill this time." - Brian C (06/04/2009)
"It could be worse, though. Jen could be driving and we be passengers." - Brian C (06/02/2009)
"We build bankruptcy." - Brian C (05/11/2009)
chrysler commercial
"Shut up, okay? I'm not good at math." "It shows." - Jen R & Brian C (05/03/2009)
she thought 110 times 2 is 150
"Shawn, not all your benefits are through you." - Brian C (05/02/2009)
'benefits'...?
"You're going to have McDonalds on the side of that sh**t." - Brian C (05/02/2009)
mocking x3
"Is his name Andria? Really?" - Brian C (04/29/2009)
misheard a guys name watching the press conference
"Some of them have kisses and stuff." "Those are the ones I find." - Brian C & Aunt Janet (04/12/2009)
she won't find any of the good ones
"Who's the D D?" The designated drunk?" - Brian C & Shawn R (04/11/2009)
"I'm gonna go with Seth here." - Brian C (04/11/2009)
street fighter 4, what character was going to win
"She's not used to a lot of meat." - Brian C (04/06/2009)
shawn made a lot of meat for dinner
"Cause Roland and Ann look a lot alike." "Yeah, one has boobs, the other one doesn't." - Brian C & Uncle George (04/02/2009)
"Did you just high five her?" "No, it's all in your head." "So is the booty you're going to get tonight." - Brian C & Janny M (03/20/2009)
i high fived jen 4 hitting bri
"Is that the only pussy you're going to be playing with tonight?" - Brian C (03/14/2009)
shawn holding chaaz
"Our eyes are hurting too. You're in the room." - Brian C (03/14/2009)
"You wanna exclude Brian? He sucks remember?" "Thanks." "You're welcome, buddy." - Shawn R & Brian C (02/27/2009)
"The Amaretto Sour tastes a little..." "Sour?" - Jen R & Brian C (02/13/2009)
"Hey!" "Well, you wanted me to put it in your mouth." - Shawn R & Brian C (02/13/2009)
"What are we going to do about the price of gas?" "Well, this summer when hurricane blah blah blah comes and wipes out the refineries..." - Janny M & Brian C (02/11/2009)
"I don't think their elevator works." "That's why it's coming up." - Jen R & Brian C (02/08/2009)
"Yeah, like you but with..." "Tits, yeah." - Brian C & Jen R (01/27/2009)
"It's not like skiing, that's the problem." "Well, no s**t." - Brian C & Shawn R (01/24/2009)
"I met some people who were just like me." "What? Lazy?" - Brian C & Shawn R (01/18/2009)
at his class
"You already have a picture of your ass? I find that a little disturbing." - Brian C (01/18/2009)
jen said she'd txt bri a pic of her ass
"This has tits in it, doesn't it?" "It has Anna Farris in it so probably." - Brian C & Shawn R (01/10/2009)
house bunny after the games
"Shawn, what do you have between your legs?" "Balls." - Brian C & Shawn R (01/08/2009)
"So much for Tomlinson being ineffective, Shawn." - Brian C (01/03/2009)
"Am I slightly more manly now that I've taken a shot of vodka?" "It's apple vodka!" - Brian C & Shawn R (01/03/2009)
--RESTRICTED QUOTE--
"That's a group?" "No one sings alone." - Brian C & Brett H (12/31/2008)
justin timberlake
"Yes, let's hang an Irish beer under an American flag." - Brian C (12/23/2008)
for real
"Why do you have that on your I pod?" "He's trying to give you a hint." - Jen R & Brian C (12/19/2008)
the song put it in your mouth
"I'm not putting testicles on my car." - Brian C (12/12/2008)
"Alright, your ticket." - Brian C (11/09/2008)
undid his seatbelt to get his mom a drink
"Mom, watch out. We already went through one tire." - Brian C (11/09/2008)
"Jan, bacon grease is grease?" "Well, you know..." - Brian C & Janny M (11/02/2008)
that's what i said
"I've got back problems." "Yeah, of course carrying those things around." - Tricia B & Brian C (11/01/2008)
lol
"Once you get it down, I can't get it up." - Brian C (10/26/2008)
"I don't know anything about the eye." "You don't know it's general location?" - Shawn R & Brian C (10/24/2008)
"So did your wife contact a divorce lawyer, yet?" - Brian C (10/21/2008)
jen had eye surgery so she can see better
"Do you want the pillow?" "No thanks. I have one." - Janny M & Brian C (10/13/2008)
my boob
"Shawn, hurry up so I can get on there." "On the computer or on Shawn?" - Jen R & Brian C (09/27/2008)
"That isn't sexy enough for my hand." - Brian C (09/11/2008)
rummy
"Now I have to go bitch to the leaning office." "Why?" "Cause she wants to bitch." - Jen R & Brian C & Shawn R (09/04/2008)
--RESTRICTED QUOTE--
"He was playing the part of an eighteen year old." "Who? Morgan Freeman?" - Brian C & Janny M (08/23/2008)
"And Jess drinks again." - Brian C (08/23/2008)
messed up statement
"She can't lie worth a damn." "But a damn doesn't lie, it blocks." - Brian C & Marc G (08/22/2008)
"Remember, the grass is green." - Brian C (08/09/2008)
trying to adjust shawn & jen's tv
"What do you get from eating raw fish?" "Disentary." - Brian C & Shawn R (08/09/2008)
"Oh s**t." "In the toilet, please." - Jen R & Brian C (08/09/2008)
"Do you wanna die? I can make that happen." "Please don't sing, it'll kill us all." - Jen R & Brian C (08/09/2008)
jen was talking to her dog
"What does grass turn into?" "Trees." "No, hay." - Brian C & Janny M (07/26/2008)
could have left the last part out & it would still be funny
"Candi just stood there in the grass." "She wants more excitement in her life." "Take her sky diving." - Brian C & Janny M & Shawn R (07/11/2008)
"You can't win a Ford trophy with a Chevy." "It's true." - Brian C & Robbie W (06/28/2008)
"Alright, the power should be out." "Yeah, famous last words." - Brian C & Uncle George (06/28/2008)
bri turned the power off in the house
"Alright, march." "Don't say that." - Brian C & Shawn R (06/20/2008)
since he was in the navy
"You got a can?" "A can of Coke?" - Brian C & Kim B (06/19/2008)
"We could try... If it goes it goes, I'm not going to be on that end." - Brian C (06/08/2008)
bri & his dad were carrying a big shelf down the stairs
"Her headlights went out." "No, they're still there." - Brian C & Marc G (06/05/2008)
yellow ranger had headlights
"What does that entail?" "F**king the fault." - Shawn R & Brian C (05/31/2008)
shawn made a lame joke
"I've got too many balls here." - Brian C (05/30/2008)
"I had the best snack ever this afternoon." "What? Pussy?" "Okay, second best snack." - Marc G & Brian C (05/23/2008)
"What do Kennedy and Martin Luther King have in common?" "They're black?" - Brian C & Jen R (05/15/2008)
jen is not a blonde
"So what do you think is the nicest car in this parking lot?" "The Honda Civic." - Brian C & Marc G (05/03/2008)
"Finally, he's in a bass grove, oop, nope." "Had to say something, dick head." - Brian C & Shawn R (04/12/2008)
"You're beautiful." "Thank you." - Brian C & Marc G (04/11/2008)
bri was talking to me
"Many people had too much steak in Enron." "Another cheesy joke like that and I'm going to slit your throat." - Brian C & Shawn R (03/28/2008)
"Don't worry, we're all praying... everyone in this car." - Brian C (03/23/2008)
bri's mom is a crazy driver
"Yeah, if a state trooper pulls you over, you're getting a ticket." "Sweet." - Brian C & Marc G (03/23/2008)
"That was pineapple juice?" "Not anymore." - Brian C & Shawn R (03/15/2008)
it was gross
"All I heard was drunk and sex." - Brian C (03/14/2008)
"Jeez, what were you guys hanging?" "Juice." - Brian C & Jen R (03/08/2008)
"Who's that sexy man down there?" "Where?" "Why are you looking at me like that?" - Janny M & Brian C & Shawn R (03/08/2008)
"Okay, Jen, do you think the koala and scull and raven go together well?" - Brian C (03/08/2008)
"I see plenty of Weiner's at my job." - Brian C (03/03/2008)
the last name, lol
"What do you think I'm a cop? I'm driving a fricken Prius!" - Brian C (02/29/2008)
"You know what, Janis, I'm gonna deck your ass." - Brian C (02/29/2008)
had to go up & down the stairs since i got a rule
"Okay, what do you want to play?" "I don't care." "We gotta go to the top." - Brian C & Janny M (02/24/2008)
brian on drums, easy songs
"You know, this song is so much better on the original version... when the notes were hit." - Brian C (02/08/2008)
dissing shawn's guitar hero skills
"If the drums would have gotten it..." - Brian C (02/03/2008)
shawn missed the last note
"Fourth down, I think." "Yeah, that's what usually goes after third." - Brian C & Shawn R (01/20/2008)
"I like just to suck the flavor out." - Brian C (01/19/2008)
popscicle... the rest is ice.
"That was easy... The only thing easier is getting into Leslie's pants." - Brian C (01/18/2008)
"There is one in D C." "Heh, not going." - Brian C & Aunt Janet (01/16/2008)
etrade bank
"If that's end road work how come the barrels are still going?" - Brian C (01/13/2008)
"I'm trying to hold back a smile." "Does anyone have a portable mirror?" - Allan B & Brian C (01/12/2008)
"You guys cream my ass in rockband so..." "Cream your ass? We play together!" - Brian C & Shawn R (01/11/2008)
"And if I say something like that you get mad at me." "That's because you know how." - Shawn R & Brian C (01/09/2008)
jen was saying she's going to cut open her dog
"I see nothing but death in your future." - Brian C (01/05/2008)
shrimp or something
"You're a linemen." - Brian C (01/05/2008)
a lineman was saying play like sean would play
"They just want a guarantee that we'll be there." "A guarantee? What are we a piece of hardware?" - Brian C & Janny M (01/02/2008)
"I'm cold." "You don't stick it there." - Janny M & Brian C (01/01/2008)
"I'm not going to look up porn on my cell phone." - Brian C (01/01/2008)
"I will gently air lift her over the couch." - Brian C (12/29/2007)
talking about throwing my puppy over
"Shawn, why do I keep using the word whore?" "I don't know." "Self description?" - Jen R & Shawn R & Brian C (12/24/2007)
"Ow! My eye!" "What? There's no mirror in here." - Marc G & Brian C (12/24/2007)
"Destroying my cheese!" - Brian C (12/23/2007)
"Would you stop talking about your cock and getting quotes?" "Would you stop throwing your cheese around and turning me on?" - Brian C & Marc G (12/23/2007)
bri juggling cheese
"What are you doing?" "Putting on a show." "It's a show I don't wanna see." - Shawn R & Brian C (12/23/2007)
bri & i making out
"Please don't go in, whatever you do." - Brian C (12/22/2007)
lol go somewhere
"You're not going to see a multi million dollar lawsuit because of fluffy." - Brian C (12/17/2007)
vets don't have as much malpractice insurance
"Ass counts!" - Brian C (12/16/2007)
as being down
"Don't pull it out." - Brian C (12/16/2007)
u don't wanna know
"Well, if you think about it, she's only throwing strikes right cause she's throwing right handed." - Brian C (12/15/2007)
jen said i was throwing strikes right and left
"Holly mother f**king whore." "Jen, it's wrong to talk about yourself like that." - Jen R & Brian C (12/15/2007)
"It smells like apples in here." "It's better than it smelling like ass." - Jen R & Brian C (12/15/2007)
"There's no way Marc's going to go out with you and Jen and me." - Brian C (12/14/2007)
"I think he's jealous of what's going on, so he's gonna take it out on the website." - Brian C (12/14/2007)
"Why is there a post it note where your crotch is?" - Brian C (12/12/2007)
"Have you heard of a thing called a shirt?" "Oh, please don't wear one." - Brian C & Leslie B (12/10/2007)
"Well look who it turned out to be... Wouldn't you be scared?" - Brian C (12/10/2007)
the time bri met salsita in the mailroom
"Okay, you're telling me to go f**k your dog?" - Brian C (12/07/2007)
"It helps if you knock pins down..." - Brian C (12/07/2007)
"Look, I don't want it from Shawn anyway." "That's not what you said the other day." - Brian C & Shawn R (12/02/2007)
"Even Madden talking about food for twenty minutes is better than this." - Brian C (11/29/2007)
nfl network people, they suck
"I will be nice to you for a week." "Really?" - Brian C & Leslie B (11/28/2007)
if les cut bri's hair
"You try having boobs and see how it feels!" "I have boobs!" - Jen R & Brian C (11/25/2007)
"I don't know what's so sticky." "Your ass." - Brian C & Jen R (11/24/2007)
"Don't get her pro." - Brian C (11/24/2007)
i was bowling really well for jen
"No, they know where their bread is buttered." - Brian C (11/22/2007)
his parents cats would never run away
"You can give me head later... Brian." "Wait, okay, I'll do that." - Marc G & Brian C (11/22/2007)
he was concentrating on cards
"Honestly, Marc, what are they advertising?" "Milk." - Brian C & Marc G (11/22/2007)
almost naked girl (boobs) w/ jewelry
"Fine, I give up. I guess I can't have them." - Brian C (11/19/2007)
dekota & shiane were after bri's slippers
"I want the Broncos." "I want the Titans." "I want the Eagles." - Brian C & Janny M & Shawn R (11/19/2007)
mnf, eagles weren't playing
"There's a priest, right?" "Oh, God." - Brian C & Shawn R (11/18/2007)
a joke
"There's food involved, she'll be there." - Brian C (11/17/2007)
leslie
"It's a nurf ball, it won't do any damage." "I got a ball that will." - Janny M & Brian C (11/17/2007)
"Yeah, do you ever wanna be thought of as straight again?" - Brian C (11/17/2007)
"This is how we bowl... apparently not." "Ou!" - Brian C & Jen R (11/14/2007)
had 2 b there i guess, she messed up & got the error
"You know in order to get a strike, you normally have to hit the head pin." - Brian C (11/14/2007)
"Maybe I should try left handed." "Goodness knows you can't do worse." - Jen R & Brian C (11/14/2007)
"Shawn, I'm taking out the trash." "Don't forget to put that jersey in there." - Jen R & Brian C (11/11/2007)
eagles jersey
"What's on sale at Giant tomorrow?" "Well, I imagine they have food." - Jen R & Brian C (11/09/2007)
"A lot of things feel good in her gut... I mean look at her." - Brian C (11/08/2007)
"Do you really wanna see my nipples hard? "When don't I?" - Marc G & Brian C (11/08/2007)
"Damn it. I'm starting to look gay on these things." - Brian C (11/08/2007)
"I don't need an invitation to take off my clothes." "You never did before." - Leslie B & Brian C (11/07/2007)
"Hey, Marc. Do you want to play that game we played the other night?" - Brian C (11/07/2007)
lol, what game honey?
"Oh, I like being on top of you." "What?" - Marc G & Brian C (11/04/2007)
me?
"Class Acts... I guess we won't be seeing Jen in there." - Brian C (11/03/2007)
store at the mall
"I can't trust you with her, can I?" - Brian C (11/03/2007)
marc made quotes while bri checked out kitchen stuff
"Look, boobs are not an instant quote, okay?" - Brian C (11/03/2007)
"Janis gets an erection in her hand." - Brian C (10/31/2007)
we have to explain to marc all the rummy terminology
"How can you have good cards and bad cards in bull s**t?" - Brian C (10/30/2007)
"Fourth and twenty. You should go for it." - Brian C (10/28/2007)
"Central America is where my giant orgy of white guys are." - Brian C (10/28/2007)
"Stick your tongue in it and lick." - Brian C (10/27/2007)
jello shooters
"What? No witty come backs?" "Sorry, I just ignore you." - Marc G & Brian C (10/27/2007)
"It's been well broken in." "I can imagine." - Travis B & Brian C (10/26/2007)
--RESTRICTED QUOTE--
"Oh my God!" "What? Did you see yourself in the mirror?" - Marc G & Brian C (10/15/2007)
"Why didn't you get a real player?" - Brian C (10/14/2007)
dissing cambel
"You like anal? What?" - Brian C (10/13/2007)
new nick name for jen now
"Can I point something out?" "What? That the field is on fire!" - Brian C & Marc G (10/08/2007)
"Can I say something really stupid?" "Don't you always?" - Brian C & Marc G (10/08/2007)
"I don't understand... These are non alcoholic drinks?" "What?" - Brian C & Jen R (10/05/2007)
"Uh, press A." "No, I want you to see it." - Marc G & Brian C (10/01/2007)
wii
"Thank you, baby." "You're welcome, sweet heart." - Marc G & Brian C (10/01/2007)
"Why did I think that was a car commercial?" - Brian C (09/30/2007)
it starts out w/ cookies being baked
"It's nice to know those glass shards don't hurt." - Brian C (09/30/2007)
opera beer commercial
"They just made out a little.. it's not that bad." - Brian C (09/29/2007)
"What are you writing?" "A book, okay?" - Janny M & Brian C (09/25/2007)
writing a letter 2 my sister
"Yes, I terrorize my dogs." "That's putting it lightly." - Jen R & Brian C (09/25/2007)
"So, that's where we stand." "Well, actually, you're sitting." - Shawn R & Brian C (09/20/2007)
"I don't have an inside voice." "We noticed..." - Jen R & Brian C (09/19/2007)
"At least their cheerleaders are ugly." - Brian C (09/16/2007)
pats cheerleaders
"I was going to say you could wip it out of your pants." "No, that's a cigar." - Brian C & Shawn R (09/07/2007)
jen needed a cigarette i think
"I'm not drunk." "Can we put this to a vote?" - Jen R & Brian C (09/07/2007)
"Geez, how much alcohol do you think we need?" "We are watching Lary the cable guy." - Janny M & Brian C (09/07/2007)
"Oh, you can't make me girlfriend." "Don't call me that." - Brian C & Shawn R (09/07/2007)
"I'll play with it while you watch Chris Matthews." - Brian C (09/03/2007)
lol
"I wouldn't mind a sausage." - Brian C (09/02/2007)
pizza...
"I'll call the police." "You don't know where I live." - Brian C & Marc G (08/20/2007)
lol
"Stop it, I'm trying to order." - Brian C (08/18/2007)
marc & i were making noises & quoting the chineese people while bri was trying to order pizza... 'u
"Empty the dishwasher." "There's dishes in there." - Janny M & Brian C (08/13/2007)
"The cats more scarier than the movie." - Brian C (08/11/2007)
the cat was moving things & running around making noises during disterbia
"'Be', wow that's profound!" - Brian C (07/27/2007)
scrabble
"Hoe." "No." - Aunt Ruth & Brian C (07/27/2007)
"Somebody should definitely tell my dad, then." "About global warming?" - Brian C & Mandy S (07/27/2007)
"Oh, I got gypped out of that." "You're right, it should have been a four six split." - Jen R & Brian C (07/14/2007)
"Bluetooth is actually..." "An alien device..." "Created by a creature named bluetooth." - Brian C & Marc G & Shawn R (07/12/2007)
"Don't quote it." - Brian C (07/07/2007)
i didn't quote it
"Dick Cheney?" "I didn't know there was shooting in this movie." - Janny M & Brian C (07/06/2007)
watching the illusionist
"He had to take a nap half way to his house." "Yeah, well I said to call when he made it back." - Brian C & Janny M (07/06/2007)
lol
"Dude, that thing could go anywhere." "Or if Shawn puts it in the ground, nowhere." - Janny M & Brian C (07/04/2007)
shawn put a bottle rocket in the ground & it didn't go up, it exploded there lol
"Anything that has to do with nipples should be a quote." - Brian C (07/03/2007)
"What's in her fur?" "Oh, uh, I think it's toothpaste." - Brian C & Mandy S (06/11/2007)
"In the navy..." "Do you wanna get hit?" - Brian C & Shawn R (06/09/2007)
shawn is in the navy lol
"There was a priest and a rabbi and a... some other religious figure..." - Brian C (06/08/2007)
lol, bri trying to tell a joke
"It does cause the bird's so big." - Brian C (05/01/2007)
it makes the room in the commercial seem smaller
"Well that's a big bird, man." - Brian C (05/01/2007)
"I got three... the number of testicles you have." "I got two." - Janny M & Brian C (04/21/2007)
we were playing hearts, it was just 2 perfect lol
"My boobs are cold." - Brian C (04/14/2007)
"You know what's really sad?" "Poverty?" - Brian C & Leslie B (04/14/2007)
"He wants sex to be fun... as opposed to...?" "Painful?" - Brian C & Leslie B (04/14/2007)
"When I was sleeping with Dung..." - Brian C (04/14/2007)
lol
"Somebody's not getting some tonight." "I didn't say that." - Brian C & Leslie B (04/07/2007)
"Candi told me to say it." "Candi, come here!" - Janny M & Brian C (03/06/2007)
"Ice... ice... out!" - Brian C (02/25/2007)
"Solo... single." "Shut up." - Brian C & Stacy M (01/14/2007)
"Where's Z?" "Uh, at the Z." - Brian C & Janny M (10/27/2006)
"Oh, what's his name? Big old black dude..." "Well that narrows it down." - Brian C & Janny M (09/24/2006)
talking about a football player
"That's a trait of women..." "What? Penis's?" - Brian C & Leslie B (08/31/2006)
"Somebody had a little akedent." "Well, don't get in front of him." - Brian C & Janny M (08/10/2006)
"I don't think that's a word." "What? Mats?" - Brian C & Aunt Ruth (08/05/2006)
"Do you know where a liquor store is?" "No, I don't drink." - Brian C & Leslie B (08/05/2006)
she had alcohol in her hand
"I'm right here... Where am I going?" "You're going right here!" - Aunt Ruth & Brian C (08/02/2006)
playing scrabble
"I look like a lobster!" - Brian C (07/26/2006)
snapped lobstery
"Trash anyone?" "Why do you always look at me when you say that?" - Brian C & Leslie B (07/14/2006)
"Let me see the dictionary..." "Fire's a word!" - Brian C & Janny M (07/03/2006)
"I can't even do 'do'." - Brian C (06/10/2006)
"Oh, a wedding ring never stopped you before." - Brian C (04/01/2006)
talking to leslie lol
"Once she acquired acquires." - Brian C (03/15/2006)
i had aquires which was a BINGO
"You alright? You alright?" "Yeah." "Not you, her." - Janny M & Brian C (01/26/2006)
candi was under my chair scared of something
"I'm finally going to get rid of this J." "Job?" - Brian C & Stacy M (01/16/2006)
"There was like this dancing like bread..." "Dancing bread?" - Janny M & Brian C (11/16/2005)
"Do I randomly grab your ass?" "Yes." "Okay, just making sure." - Brian C & Janny M (10/27/2005)
"There are more important things in life than scores." - Brian C (10/24/2005)
"What's wrong with Jumpin Jumpin?" - Brian C (09/19/2005)
"How does this song touch you?" "Cause you're my American baby." "I'm not an American!" - Janny M & Brian C (08/22/2005)
dmb duh
"Save her from what?" "I don't know... she's thirty... or dead." - Janny M & Brian C (08/15/2005)
"Your view goes away." - Brian C (06/12/2005)
talking to aunt ruth in scrabble
"Good job... Candi." "What'd she do?" "She probably did something!" - Janny M & Brian C (04/23/2005)
"Okay, this is the wrong song to play right now..." "Why?" "Cause I don't feel like standing with anyone on a mountain!" - Janny M & Brian C (04/12/2005)
"Damn it... I've been writing thirty six's for so long..." - Brian C (04/11/2005)
"No, she's always attacking me, breaking my penises." - Brian C (04/10/2005)
"It's lost a lot of dirt..." "Well go get some more, there's a whole world out there!" - Brian C & Janny M (04/05/2005)
"There goes the security deposit." - Brian C (03/31/2005)
"Allan wants to know what Corey did for me to hate him so bad." "Um... be Corey?" - Brian C & Janny M (03/14/2005)
"You're hot." "Thank you, I knew that's how you felt about me." - Brian C & Leslie B (03/10/2005)
"Just be happy I'm saying your name." - Brian C (03/10/2005)
"Seth make my panties wet." - Brian C (02/28/2005)
oka
"Hey Candi, there's someone at the door." "She's not stupid." "Who's at the door?" - Janny M & Leslie B & Brian C (02/07/2005)
i knocked b4, it was great
"Leslie has a penis?" "Two." - Janny M & Brian C (01/24/2005)
"Bang, bang, bang... banging like a tree." - Brian C (12/17/2004)
"F**k you, Ptre." - Brian C (12/12/2004)
"There was a miracle created recently for Leslie." "What? Fitting through a door?" - Brian C & Leslie B (12/11/2004)
she makes fun of herself
"Guys versus girls." "Then what team will Seth play on?" - Brian C & Leslie B (12/02/2004)
"Hey, is Mom in bed yet?" "Oh, my!" - Brian C & Leslie B (12/02/2004)
lol
"Oh come on, he has a bigger one than me." - Brian C (11/23/2004)
he really DID say that!!
"Hello. I'm calling for the spelling confirmation of my last name." "What? Did you forget?" - Brian C & Leslie B (11/19/2004)
lol bri was on the phone
"Brian wants to have sex with Wortman." "So do you." - Janny M & Brian C (11/19/2004)
"I'm not a bitch. I'm a whore." - Brian C (10/21/2004)
"No, I want to see... come here and draw what this nut bra is going to look like." - Brian C (10/16/2004)
"Hum... Kerry looks little pale tonight." "Yeah." - Janny M & Brian C & Leslie B (10/13/2004)
yeah said by both bri & les
"We're coming back!" "Yeah, from the twenty?" - Brian C & Janny M (10/10/2004)
"It's not over till the fat lady sings." "So when are you going to start singing?" - Leslie B & Brian C (10/02/2004)
"Well, I don't want to take the risk..." "Of what? Me getting points? I'm loosing!" - Janny M & Brian C (07/21/2004)
"I wanna know what the R A above me does..." "What?" "I hear furniture moving around..." - David E & Brian C (07/18/2004)
lol i wonder...
"Dave, if it's between a three and a one, go for the three." - Brian C (07/17/2004)
"You like to straddle poles?" - Brian C (07/17/2004)
lol david
"They don't smell like anything cause they've been freshly laundered." - Brian C (07/16/2004)
"I wasn't going to write fragile either!" - Brian C (07/02/2004)
"I need to get those hats out of your car so I can sprinkle them around." - Brian C (06/28/2004)
since he's growing his hair out
"Twinkle toes strikes again." "But you didn't strike." - Brian C & David E (06/12/2004)
"Boo." "Did you get the spare?" "No." - Brian C & Janny M (06/12/2004)
"I see what I'm doing tonight." "Get up there!" - Brian C & David E (06/12/2004)
the sex pin
"I feel like a woman." - Brian C (06/10/2004)
"No quotes in the bedroom!" - Brian C (06/10/2004)
what brian doesn't know won't hurt him... lol
"No, no walking on my keyboard... my friends are tired of you talking to them." - Brian C (06/03/2004)
"I was an L away." - Brian C (06/02/2004)
"F**k... stop turning me!" - Brian C (05/27/2004)
"I'm all confused... we're all confused." - Brian C (05/22/2004)
"Where is it?" "Where is what?" Where's my pencil?" - Tricia B & Brian C (05/11/2004)
"Alright, who had the infinite loop?" - Brian C (04/26/2004)
"You've heard Janis's theory right?" "Which one?" - Brian C & David E (04/26/2004)
"Okay, if you get the spare and get a strike you beat Paul." - Brian C (04/25/2004)
"It's the same thing!" "Not for quotes." - Brian C & Janny M (04/20/2004)
"Alright, let me go check out the guys room." - Brian C (04/18/2004)
"Alright dip s**t." "Who? The guy with the wood?" - Brian C & Janny M (04/17/2004)
"Paul, you're only ten points away from your high mark." - Brian C (04/14/2004)
"I like it when it's clean." "Oh, God!" - Brian C & Josh H (04/14/2004)
"Jeez, we went through these Bounties." - Brian C (04/12/2004)
"No, because this is a fresh circle." - Brian C (04/06/2004)
"I heard breasts and stroke so I'm interested." - Brian C (04/04/2004)
"Look at the peach!" - Brian C (03/06/2004)
"Two aces have been played." "Oh, damn!" - Brian C & David E (03/06/2004)
"So, one plus one is... zero!" - Brian C (03/01/2004)
"She doesn't like to be poked with certain objects." "It depends on what objects." - Chris Sm & Brian C (02/21/2004)
"Who in the hell names these roads?" - Brian C (02/13/2004)
"You're always fondling each other." - Brian C (02/13/2004)
"I need to break a penis." - Brian C (02/04/2004)
"So I get two dickies and a man." - Brian C (02/04/2004)
"David, if you fail it, we're going to kill you." "Take a number." - Brian C & David E (02/01/2004)
calc I
"You know how Dunkle is a square, right?" - Brian C (01/31/2004)
"Oh, Chrystler's kill themselves." - Brian C (01/23/2004)
tis true
"I hope it's okay." - Brian C (01/20/2004)
laptop fell... oops
"That's a very pretty picture." "What? Do you have my picture up as your desktop?" - Brian C & Aunt Chris (01/18/2004)
"What word was I just looking up?" "Sex." - Josh H & Brian C (12/15/2003)
"How did last night go? Wink, wink." - Brian C (12/12/2003)
"How many classes do we have left?" "Three... Three too many." "I beg your pardon?" - Dr White (math) & Brian C (12/09/2003)
"I mean, literally, your loop isn't doing anything." - Brian C (12/08/2003)
"I am floating, damn it." "Sink!" - Brian C & Seth W (12/06/2003)
"You and your damn spades!" - Brian C (12/06/2003)
"Why Leslie gives them away for free?" "That's only if you want your member back." - Brian C & Brian N (12/06/2003)
"Don't. Don't." "I can't remember one." - Brian C & Tricia B (11/19/2003)
"Where did you pull that from?" "You don't wanna know." - Josh H & Brian C (11/09/2003)
"Oh f**k!" "Not in here!" - Brian C & Leslie B (11/07/2003)
"You're going to find a nice girl." "He already has... Seth." - Brian C & Janny M (10/28/2003)
"Tricia!" "She sees you." - Brian C & Seth W (10/28/2003)
"She likes anything with balls." - Brian C (10/28/2003)
"I broke it. Now it's small." - Brian C (10/20/2003)
"Oh! F**k me!" "You might not want to say that too loud." - Valarie M & Brian C (10/20/2003)
"You shouldn't speak when you have round objects in your mouth." - Brian C (10/20/2003)
"I'm actually having cyber sex with an away message." - Brian C (10/19/2003)
"We were not making out, we were making love." - Brian C (10/18/2003)
"Come on, I've seen whipped before." - Brian C (10/18/2003)
"I don't know how much of a slut she is. She's not like Leslie." - Brian C (10/16/2003)
"Seriously, you should not be asking other girls to do your..." "Butt?" - Leslie B & Brian C (10/14/2003)
"What you do is create new s**t." - Brian C (10/13/2003)
"Why are you guys making sick jokes without me?" - Brian C (10/08/2003)
"Brian." "Yeah?" "Damn you." - David E & Brian C (10/07/2003)
"Double stuff. I like to be fat." - Brian C (10/03/2003)
"Only I can pervert math." - Brian C (10/01/2003)
he can
"I'm attracted to myself." "You too?" - Josh H & Brian C (10/01/2003)
"I wrote perfect code, what are you talking about?" - Brian C (09/29/2003)
"Don't like care for her." - Brian C (09/24/2003)
"Pre condition, post condition, who gives a rats ass?" "She does." - Brian C & David E (09/22/2003)
she does
"You've been demoted." - Brian C (09/07/2003)
what? body guard seth
"Two hands and I'm up twenty five!" - Brian C (09/02/2003)
"You know, the computers are white for a reason." - Brian C (09/02/2003)
"I got five." "At least I got ten." - Brian C & Tricia B (05/19/2003)
"I don't look anything like Britney Spears." "I do." - Leslie B & Brian C (05/18/2003)
"Stop, drop, and roll." "With an arrow in your head?" - Janny M & Brian C (05/17/2003)
"I thought it was a guys job to be pointy." - Brian C (05/11/2003)
"Smack him." "Oh, baby." - David E & Brian C (05/11/2003)
"Oh, Dave, that's a bad sex noise." - Brian C (05/11/2003)
"Well shove it up your..." "Whoopsie." - Brian C & Chris Sm (05/11/2003)
"You like squeezing round objects?" - Brian C (05/09/2003)
"I'm not calling my dick root list." - Brian C (05/07/2003)
"That's the wrong condentation with that site." - Brian C (05/06/2003)
yea, don't ask... weird site
"Where are you?" "On top." - Brian C & Leslie B (04/12/2003)
"Are you single?" "Yes." "Do you have a girlfriend?" "No." - Leslie B & Brian C (04/12/2003)
"Do we have to do anything with pseudocode?" "Watch your mouth!" - Brian C & Tiny S (03/05/2003)