Matt Wi's Quotes
Matt Wi has made 440 quotes!
"Oh my God there's poo in the hallway!" - Matt Wi (10/22/2022)
dexter pooped :(
"It is very different living here than in a civilized society." - Matt Wi (10/22/2022)
in nola
"This is how you drive in New Orleans." - Matt Wi (10/22/2022)
the road was closed but he just went through it anyway
"We just moved here and they just like give you a gun." - Matt Wi (10/22/2022)
"Oh, I said I was thirty six today." - Matt Wi (10/22/2022)
lying about his age
"I forgot I was thirty six." - Matt Wi (10/22/2022)
"I'm giving up soda and weed." "And picking up cocaine." - Brian C & Matt Wi (10/21/2022)
when we move
"Is he allowed up here?" "No cause he might s**t everywhere." - Janny M & Matt Wi (10/21/2022)
dexter in my lap
"And they're probably held hostage and killed..." - Matt Wi (08/07/2022)
loved ones when someone wins the lotto
"Alright, Brian. Are you ready? Cause Janis is gonna die." - Matt Wi (08/07/2022)
in oregon trail
"Murder. That's the answer to every question." - Matt Wi (08/06/2022)
"Don't you have a battery backup?" "Yeah, but he doesn't need to know that." - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (08/05/2022)
rex's tablet
"I shouldn't have pulled this guy out. Now he won't go back in." "That's what he said." - Matt Wi & Janny M (08/05/2022)
a toy
"Who would look at this and go, 'this looks legitimate.'" - Matt Wi (08/03/2022)
scam emails
"He was trying to tickle everybody. We had to put him in a tickle timeout." - Matt Wi (08/03/2022)
brian
"And by everyone, I meant Janis." - Matt Wi (08/03/2022)
the above quote
"The game plan is to play a lot of games." - Matt Wi (08/03/2022)
at gencon
"You gotta sit by the trash. Making sure people recycle." - Matt Wi (08/03/2022) (pic)
"That's like two ounces per gallon..." - Matt Wi (08/03/2022)
beer calculations
"Why is everyone lined up for that white tent?" "That's the happy ending booth." - Stephanie Wi & Matt Wi (08/03/2022)
"They're all walking away with a smile on their face." - Matt Wi (08/03/2022)
"She manicurist it to perfection." - Matt Wi (08/02/2022)
stephanie's nail could open up anything
"I have a bug bite I can kinda put dots on..." - Matt Wi (08/02/2022)
his bug bites are bad
"...And now we live in NOLA and it's a whole different ball game." "We were just at a ball game." - Megan Wi & Matt Wi (08/02/2022)
"Well we get four houses then we can get a hotel." - Matt Wi (04/26/2022)
"I gotta sell some stock to pay for these tattoos." - Matt Wi (04/26/2022)
"Like a spare tire..." - Matt Wi (04/26/2022)
if they had another kid
"Are you from here?" - Matt Wi (02/03/2022)
megan had problems saying new orleanian
"Put it in deeper." "No, Matt." "That's what she said." - Matt Wi & Megan Wi & Janny M (02/03/2022)
the selfie stick that they were holding up for the zoom
"Now she's like f**k dogs." - Matt Wi (02/03/2022)
megan after deedee died
"It was probably like seventeen times at least." - Matt Wi (10/31/2021)
brady kept fumbling
"It is wet?" "That's what she said." - Matt Wi & Janny M (10/30/2021)
milk spill
"We were looking for the Katrina museum." "Oh, I heard it got hit by a hurricane." - Janny M & Matt Wi (10/30/2021)
"They have the best H O A that will f**k you with the best black dildos ever." - Matt Wi (10/30/2021)
"Now you need to read the books book..." - Matt Wi (10/29/2021)
bri was reading to rhett; there was a little book in the book
"Can you go get me some clothes?" "No. What the hell?" - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (10/29/2021)
"And that's another instance of Megan pooping on herself... There's so many of them." - Matt Wi (10/29/2021)
"You should not send your children there unless you want them to die." - Matt Wi (10/29/2021)
their public school
"Do they serve rabbit?" - Matt Wi (10/29/2021)
the rabbit restaurant
"Look, there's the pumpkin house." "Wait. Where's the pumpkin house?" - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (10/29/2021)
matt just said that right before
"You can do it on the balcony..." - Matt Wi (10/29/2021)
where bri & i can have sex
"Did you snort cocaine?" - Matt Wi (10/29/2021)
"Nobody was touching the tile..." "Oh, that was your excuse?" - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (10/28/2021)
"Uh, she is not over there apparently." - Matt Wi (07/23/2021)
where someone was in among us
"It was not me. I killed so many other people the other day..." - Matt Wi (07/23/2021)
"Nope... never been warn. My stuff was never in those." - Matt Wi (04/17/2021)
selling bathing suits at their yard sale
"It's got some air intakes on the side... for turbo." - Matt Wi (03/20/2021)
the fire
"I think it's the Mexican house..." - Matt Wi (03/20/2021)
"What do we buy? We buy some s**t..." - Matt Wi (03/11/2021)
their proposal story
"We basically like already left..." - Matt Wi (03/11/2021)
their proposal story; they left the place he wanted to propose
"How do I get her to go back?" - Matt Wi (03/11/2021)
proposal story
"And then we spend like three dollars on tacos." - Matt Wi (03/11/2021)
proposal story
"I don't know how this is gonna affect the game but I saw a body in space." - Matt Wi (03/05/2021)
among us was very buggy
"You didn't bring me water." "There's a hose right there." - Megan Wi & Matt Wi (03/04/2021)
"I suspect a lot of people think that their neighbors are an alien so I think a lot of people do..." - Matt Wi (01/22/2021)
"Oh no!" - Matt Wi (01/02/2021)
fire
"I think there are sexual favors going on..." - Matt Wi (01/02/2021)
the white car
"How about we light this tree on fire then when the branches fall, it'll light the fire." - Matt Wi (01/02/2021)
"Willfull ignorance or does he watch Fox News?" "He does watch Fox News." - Brian C & Matt Wi (01/02/2021)
"I'm gonna put it in the group me." - Matt Wi (01/02/2021)
picture of megan's poop
"I'm pro ant hill aluminum killing." - Matt Wi (11/07/2020)
"I can see that working." - Matt Wi (11/07/2020)
pretend to sneeze out peas so kids eat them
"No flame is the same." - Matt Wi (11/07/2020)
"Somebody freaked out because the grass wasn't green..." - Matt Wi (11/05/2020)
"The other thing about commercial is that they won't trash the place." "Unless they're running a junk yard." - Janny M & Matt Wi (11/05/2020)
"How do you get skinny?" "Cocaine." - Megan Wi & Matt Wi (11/01/2020)
chris rock
"That's a long time." - Matt Wi (07/24/2020)
a month to poop in your mom's shoes so she won't die; split the room
"How expensive is this meal?" - Matt Wi (07/24/2020)
free meal but you have to be seen masturbating
"Are you f**king kidding me? I just drew five gold..." - Matt Wi (07/24/2020)
matt was drunk, he meant 5 copper; bri made us discard with militia
"I had thirty seven money..." - Matt Wi (07/24/2020)
bri hit with militia again
"Wait. How are you giving me Coppers?" - Matt Wi (07/24/2020)
i kept saying copper to mat since i was playing the miser card
"I'm only gonna do it a couple of times." "That's what she said." - Matt Wi & Janny M (07/24/2020)
play his leprechaun
"Oh, weird. Where's my little white thing?" "That's what she said." - Matt Wi & Janny M (07/08/2020)
"Do you have erect nipples cause we just invented a bunch of s**t." - Matt Wi (07/02/2020)
"I did actually add a third dick." - Matt Wi (07/02/2020)
"It's like penis flowers." - Matt Wi (07/02/2020)
"It is the most accessible." - Matt Wi (06/26/2020)
reading the shampoo container while on the can
"I would like to see the color..." - Matt Wi (06/26/2020)
jungle safari green for poop
"Wait. She has boobs and a penis? I don't understand." - Matt Wi (06/26/2020)
"Piece of a*s!" - Matt Wi (06/26/2020)
"It wouldn't be that white. Would it?" - Matt Wi (06/26/2020)
"And then when they put the new tree in, chop it down." - Matt Wi (06/07/2020)
the county
"He's like two people in one." - Matt Wi (06/07/2020)
kim jung un
"As we probably catch that chair on fire." - Matt Wi (05/31/2020)
fun
"What do you guys do for exercise?" "Lift logs and s**t." "Grow humans and s**t." - Janny M & Matt Wi & Megan Wi (05/31/2020)
"Yeah, I think at this point, having money is not a good idea." - Matt Wi (04/30/2020)
dominion
"I mean the swindler strategy might seem like it might be worth it." - Matt Wi (04/04/2020)
"...Natural freshness." - Matt Wi (04/03/2020)
his gas
"How do I get ready? Oh, ready." - Matt Wi (04/01/2020)
dominion online
"Oh, yeah! Seven bucks!" - Matt Wi (04/01/2020)
"I got rid of all my s**t..." - Matt Wi (04/01/2020)
via donate
"You just took a giant poop." "No, I didn't. That would take forever." - Megan Wi & Matt Wi (04/01/2020)
"That's why it's called the tactician." "That's why it's called the bulls**t." - Megan Wi & Matt Wi (04/01/2020)
"Matt, how much beer you got?" "I got a whole frige full." - Megan Wi & Matt Wi (04/01/2020)
she meant in his glass
"I posted a link to a website. You guys can check it out." "Yeah, we're not going to." - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (02/28/2020)
a shoe tying website
"The debate comes on at eight." "What time does the debate come on?" - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (02/25/2020)
"You missed a Bloomberg ad." Oh no!" - Matt Wi & Janny M (02/25/2020)
"I thought the girl was doing the guy up the butt..." - Matt Wi (02/25/2020)
"This is a big play." "I've seen bigger." - Matt Wi & Janny M (02/02/2020)
"From the coin toss, it was done." - Matt Wi (02/02/2020)
kc won
"Undo it! Undo it." - Matt Wi (01/31/2020)
"This is gonna f**k me so hard." - Matt Wi (01/31/2020)
"I think they're gonna die." - Matt Wi (01/31/2020)
his troops in risk
"It's bulls**t. I'm not paying it." - Matt Wi (01/29/2020)
we told him the cost of $13 for bowling but it was really $13.89; he didn't want to pay 89 cents
"Oh s**t. That's like twenty five miles per hour. I can't go faster than that." - Matt Wi (01/29/2020)
throwing a ball in bowling
"Twenty miles per hour is pretty fricken hard to throw." - Matt Wi (01/29/2020)
"Although twenty plus is pretty hard to throw." - Matt Wi (01/29/2020)
still he was talking about this?
"In the vagina? Where does it go?" - Matt Wi (01/29/2020)
the balls were disappearing
"Well I guess I see you guys and you see people..." - Matt Wi (01/26/2020)
the deadly virus going around... they don't see many people
"Matt... are you sober?" "Meh." - Janny M & Matt Wi (01/26/2020)
"I feel like they should be in their own bucket..." - Matt Wi (01/26/2020)
food in wingspan
"I don't care. There's like three turns left." - Matt Wi (01/26/2020)
why we shouldn't bother putting stuff in their own containers
"How do you use the wrong button? There are only two or three buttons." - Matt Wi (01/16/2020)
"It was like eighty five degrees and we had all the windows open..." - Matt Wi (01/16/2020)
their downstairs tenants used to have the heat on really hot in the winter
"So it helps to stay on the ground cause then you can drive." - Matt Wi (01/16/2020)
playing a playstation game
"It's kinda hard to move when you don't have friction." - Matt Wi (01/16/2020)
playing a playstation game
"Most people are white still?" - Matt Wi (01/16/2020)
"That's why you gotta slap them around a little bit..." - Matt Wi (12/03/2019)
children
"But under the login, there's a link, open a franchise... That must be part of the footer?" - Matt Wi (12/02/2019)
papa johns website was confusing to him
"I thought you were smart, budy." - Matt Wi (11/10/2019)
rex didn't know the jack in the box
"Wait. Were you laughing while you were laughing?" - Matt Wi (11/10/2019)
megan took a video of rex & she laughed then she played it & laughed again
"This is terrible." - Matt Wi (11/10/2019)
megan's music
"So Disney princesses regularly get groped." "I thought that was part of their contract." - Brian C & Matt Wi (11/07/2019)
disney is finally doing something about it
"My thought is... they didn't have hot water... back in the day..." - Matt Wi (11/01/2019)
"Then he leveled the feet... like that's super hard." - Matt Wi (10/27/2019)
the dude installing their dish washer
"Cheers! Inflation!" - Matt Wi (10/27/2019)
"I never stop doing them." - Matt Wi (10/27/2019)
kegel exercises
"I was going to get beer refills..." - Matt Wi (10/27/2019)
instead megan wanted cheesecake
"You want chicken nuggets?" "No. I hate him." - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (10/27/2019)
for her eye; megan turned to me during the 'i hate him' part
"Gross. So that's why they lost another tooth." - Matt Wi (10/27/2019)
dexter & deedee got bri's underwear when they were over our place
"Don't put your drink on the carpet which we decided wasn't that dirty." - Matt Wi (10/20/2019)
"Eagles just lost the game." - Matt Wi (10/20/2019)
they fumbled in the first two minutes of the game
"What are you drinking?" "I don't know. Something that was made for me." - Janny M & Matt Wi (10/18/2019)
"We got some Modelo in there if you want." - Matt Wi (10/18/2019)
crappy beer
"Oh s**t. Well, I f**ked up their home. They're all gonna die." - Matt Wi (10/18/2019)
the termites in the wood
"Yeah, Brian's totally pissing back there." - Matt Wi (10/18/2019)
bri was making some noises
"Damn! That was a long time. Where's my beer?" - Matt Wi (10/18/2019)
brian took a long time in the house
"We're not really in a room... we're outside." - Matt Wi (10/18/2019)
megan wanted to talk to matt so I offered to leave
"That's a s**t quote." - Matt Wi (10/18/2019)
megan's quote above
"What year did they get it installed?" - Matt Wi (10/18/2019)
actually, i don't know how else to say it either... talking about an iud
"I need to urinate through my urethra." - Matt Wi (10/18/2019)
"...Cheap ass china chairs..." - Matt Wi (10/18/2019)
their wooden chairs are breaking
"Because she does have a masters..." "In bartending?" - Brian C & Matt Wi (10/14/2019)
aoc
"Yeah, right. A poor family with connections!" - Matt Wi (10/14/2019)
aoc
"Straight... U turn..." - Matt Wi (10/13/2019)
giving bri directions
"Is that poop?" - Matt Wi (10/13/2019) (pic)
"These nuts are so warm in my hand." "That's what she said." - Matt Wi & Brian C (10/13/2019)
hot cashews
"He was born with a golden spoon." "Silver. Not gold." - Brian C & Matt Wi (10/13/2019)
"F**k you, Bell!" - Matt Wi (10/13/2019)
destroying his fantasy team
"They'll probably just rubber stamp that s**t." - Matt Wi (10/12/2019)
rebate for my mac needs; i bought a rubics cube along with it
"The world's elite people don't want to do that." - Matt Wi (10/12/2019)
drive
"I have billions of dollars. I don't have time for that s**t." - Matt Wi (10/12/2019)
driving
"Did we talk about putting Lupin on a diet?" "I don't know. I don't think we have." - Brian C & Matt Wi (10/10/2019)
"It's like drinking beer flavored water." - Matt Wi (10/10/2019)
mobelo beer
"What is this like point one percent?" - Matt Wi (10/10/2019)
"Wow. You must have a terrible life." - Matt Wi (10/10/2019)
best experience of her life commercial
"He's making dat money." - Matt Wi (10/04/2019)
"Well I guess somebody ordered pizza..." - Matt Wi (10/04/2019)
why i was on a military base
"You don't say, 'I love you'?" "No." "What? You don't love me?" - Janny M & Megan Wi & Matt Wi (09/13/2019)
matt on speaker phone; megan thought he hung up
"What happened to his head?" - Matt Wi (09/12/2019)
joe biden
"I don't like this woman." "Well she is like evil..." - Megan Wi & Matt Wi (09/12/2019)
klobachar
"It's a Mexican standoff." - Matt Wi (08/27/2019)
wiki vs dexter
"Yeah, he does see himself in his daughter." - Matt Wi (08/18/2019)
trump; "see" should be like italic
"You can listen to s**t." - Matt Wi (08/18/2019)
his 5.1 system; weak
"Sometimes they want b***hes..." - Matt Wi (08/18/2019)
his patrons
"Some massive cleavage going on..." - Matt Wi (08/18/2019)
"Then I can hire this elve b***h for free." - Matt Wi (08/18/2019)
"I think we're gonna get f**ked." - Matt Wi (08/04/2019)
they charged us $10 to park & we were worried they were gonna charge again to leave
"If you were going to do one major renovation to your house, what would it be?" "Tear it down." - Brian C & Matt Wi (08/04/2019)
"Are you gonna hit the board?" - Matt Wi (08/04/2019)
"Well he wasn't slowing down." "Well, neither were you." - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (08/03/2019)
matt driving a little crazy in the neighborhood
"So what you're saying is you're qualified?" - Matt Wi (08/03/2019)
to be a part of trump's admin
"We need access to your microphone." "I'm playing Tetris!" - Matt Wi & Tony F (08/03/2019)
how apps want access to all your stuff
"And he's a homosexual..." - Matt Wi (08/03/2019)
all these bad things about a person then matt said that
"They f**ked the s**t out of it." - Matt Wi (08/03/2019)
midas & his oil change on his civic
"This is a cooperative game. Don't try to sabotage it." - Matt Wi (08/02/2019)
numbers game like minds
"Going from sixty three to ninety one... not good." - Matt Wi (08/02/2019)
trying to explain the game to his mom
"That's how I play all my games." - Matt Wi (08/01/2019)
underwater
"He has like a death stare." - Matt Wi (08/01/2019)
"That's a man made water tower." - Matt Wi (07/31/2019)
"Do you want some of my McFlurry? It's rather large." "That's what she said." - Megan Wi & Matt Wi (07/31/2019)
"Does any of these people watch Law And Order?" - Matt Wi (07/31/2019)
kamala harris
"The old ball and ball." - Matt Wi (07/21/2019)
talking about big balls
"Safety first." - Matt Wi (07/20/2019)
bungy cords strapped to chairs in a van
"Thanks, Janis, I'm gonna blame you for that." - Matt Wi (07/20/2019)
we got into a youtube hole
"I still want to be safe for me and my child." "It's got a roll cage." - Megan Wi & Matt Wi (07/20/2019)
megan wants a jeep but it has to be safe
"Especially when things can come in and puncture and stuff..." - Matt Wi (07/20/2019)
jeep
"You drink by yourself?" "Isn't that the definition of alcoholism?" - Janny M & Matt Wi (07/16/2019)
"But then they'll know how much I drink..." - Matt Wi (07/16/2019)
if he downloads the untappd app
"Oh, is that what happened?" - Matt Wi (07/14/2019)
bri's face; he had an accident when he was a kid
"You should write it down on a piece of paper." "What's paper?" - Matt Wi & Heidi C (07/13/2019)
"He's very preppy. He can't just sleep on the floor." - Matt Wi (07/13/2019)
dexter
"Does their site look like google? No, cause it looks like s**t." - Matt Wi (07/13/2019)
"You can't f**k with it." - Matt Wi (07/12/2019)
smallworld
"Pots of gold! Ka boom!" - Matt Wi (07/12/2019)
he was the leprechauns
"The long story is don't leave your leprechaun s**t everywhere." - Matt Wi (07/12/2019) 
lol wtf
"I still have one guy. I'm gonna come back.' - Matt Wi (07/12/2019)
"I already did you." "That's what... she said..." - Brian C & Matt Wi (07/12/2019)
"If I could have touched them, I would have." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Matt Wi (07/12/2019)
"I hope so. I spent a lot of money on it." - Matt Wi (06/29/2019)
megan's ring; she likes it
"That's like a car on your finger." - Matt Wi (06/29/2019)
megan's ring
"About six inches up, six inches down." "That's what she said." - Matt Wi & Janny M (06/29/2019)
the tv; that was a good one!
"Don't look at your ceiling cause your ceiling might be off..." - Matt Wi (06/29/2019)
they leveled the tv
"We're all gonna die!" - Matt Wi (06/29/2019)
"Oh, s**t. My beer was in there." - Matt Wi (06/29/2019)
there was a HUGE spider in their bathroom
"Well, I would hope they know what they're doing cause then your car will blow up." - Matt Wi (06/29/2019)
his car blew up from an oil change
"I still need to file my lawsuit..." - Matt Wi (06/29/2019)
for his car
"Oh s**t..." - Matt Wi (06/29/2019)
megan bought huge cushions for the chairs; matt couldn't fit
"More drinks!" - Matt Wi (06/29/2019)
"Is it all dry in there?" "That's what she said." - Matt Wi & Janny M (06/29/2019)
megan spilled a drink on her dice card
"I'm stuck here." "That's what she said." - Megan Wi & Matt Wi (06/29/2019)
"Reading the rules, I guess we should do it more often..." - Matt Wi (06/29/2019)
"It's gonna go on credit so we're good." - Matt Wi (06/08/2019)
the 7.2.4 system we all want
"Sorry." "No, I don't think you are." - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (06/08/2019)
matt let brian win
"I'm gonna murder you with lava." "Bless your heart." - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (06/08/2019)
"How many napkins do we need?" "I don't know. Some people are messy... like Janis." - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (06/08/2019)
"It was not from nineteen fifty." - Matt Wi (06/08/2019)
their crib
"Did you just eat his booger? Gross!" - Matt Wi (05/31/2019)
megan & rex
"You don't really need a lawyer." "Until you do need a lawyer." - Brian C & Matt Wi (05/31/2019)
"These were back in the days when we followed the Geneva Convention." - Matt Wi (05/31/2019)
M*A*S*H
"Dude, you're black." "I forgot." - Janny M & Matt Wi (05/31/2019)
in the game
"You want foam?" - Matt Wi (05/31/2019)
the beer came out mostly foam
"I'm making you a drink. I'm making foam." - Matt Wi (05/31/2019)
"Think of the people who have to live on this thing." "Really?" - Janny M & Matt Wi (05/31/2019) (pic)
get corruption to get rid of corruption!
"It was you who was supposed to block her." She doesn't even know how to play." - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (05/31/2019)
i kept winning
"You... all... messed up." - Matt Wi (05/31/2019)
"That's what happens when you play like you're not playing." - Matt Wi (05/31/2019)
"There's not that many people pooping on ships in the ocean." - Matt Wi (05/04/2019)
"Matt, you got a hammer?" "Yes, I do. What happened?" - Brian C & Matt Wi (05/04/2019)
"So dangerous to handle a gun like that." - Matt Wi (05/04/2019)
in game night
"Yeah, that's how sound works." - Matt Wi (05/04/2019)
i joked that you couldn't hear anything over the privacy fence
"That's how you get s**t in my beer." - Matt Wi (05/04/2019)
megan was blowing on the fire
"I jacked that s**t..." - Matt Wi (05/04/2019)
he stole a light fixture from another apartment where he lived previously
"Oh, that guy!" - Matt Wi (04/05/2019)
"I'm pretty sure you've not been to the moon." - Matt Wi (04/05/2019)
"I was watching a dog." - Matt Wi (03/23/2019)
why he missed the turn; there was a person walking dogs on a skateboard
"I put my fires out with gasoline." - Matt Wi (03/23/2019)
"Was it just after they blackmailed him and he didn't pay?" - Matt Wi (02/08/2019)
jeff bezos story
"Never force a woman to give a blowjob... she'll just bite." "Yeah, that seems like a bad idea." - Brian C & Matt Wi (02/08/2019)
"He has a stylist." - Matt Wi (02/08/2019)
chuck todd does for his eyebrows
"At least the dumpster guy is normal." - Matt Wi (02/08/2019)
10 interesting homes on netflix
"Dude, girls eat that s**t up. He probably gets laid all the time." "Yeah, I don't know." - Janny M & Matt Wi (02/08/2019)
the guy with a floating home
"He might be in there forever." "No, I heard. He's wrapping up." - Janny M & Matt Wi (02/08/2019)
bri using the can
"Meanwhile, you're like five foot three. You can fit in any bathtub you want." - Matt Wi (12/31/2018)
"I'm not into casual S T Ds." - Matt Wi (12/31/2018)
"I'm joining the gym cause I'm fat." "Yeah, I know." - Megan Wi & Matt Wi (12/31/2018)
"No. He drinks beer now." - Matt Wi (12/31/2018)
rex doesn't drink breast milk anymore
"It could be a white walker Irish coffee." - Matt Wi (12/31/2018)
they have white walker alcohol
"You have a ten year lag period on your porno." - Matt Wi (12/31/2018)
"I hope they gave him the death penalty." - Matt Wi (12/31/2018)
hotel porn
"I have the bottle bong." - Matt Wi (12/31/2018)
"It's probably cause they smell so bad, fleas don't wanna be on them." - Matt Wi (12/07/2018)
their pets don't have fleas
"Not for a democrat." - Matt Wi (12/07/2018)
nra would hire a lawyer for people who shot others
"So when I went to computer engineering school..." "You heard about raspberry pies?" - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (12/07/2018)
"I asked you to clean that s**t up." "Oh, sorry. Do you wanna clean it up?" - Megan Wi & Matt Wi (12/02/2018)
"That's a good head." "That's what she said." - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (12/02/2018)
"I really want a bagel while I'm in the bathtub." - Matt Wi (12/02/2018)
"They grow on cow dung..." - Matt Wi (12/02/2018)
mushrooms
"I pressure washed them." - Matt Wi (12/02/2018)
the dogs
"I'm challenging a quote." - Matt Wi (12/02/2018)
"Nuclear dick dust." - Matt Wi (10/07/2018)
"It's like a time capsule now." - Matt Wi (10/07/2018)
bri's fish, fred, put to rest in a coolwhip container and burried
"I'm on fire right now, I think." - Matt Wi (10/07/2018)
"If it alludes to sex, that's on his own time." - Matt Wi (10/07/2018)
"The moat saved us!" - Matt Wi (10/05/2018)
paul's moat
"They're like micro penises." - Matt Wi (10/05/2018)
"Yeah, butter my bread, please." - Matt Wi (08/19/2018)
"Oh, right. She's twenty nine... every year..." - Matt Wi (08/19/2018)
my age
"That's not overweight." "Yeah, that's normal." - Janny M & Matt Wi (07/15/2018)
may musk was 'overweight'
"It's so cartoon looking." - Matt Wi (07/15/2018)
the gps in the car
"The entire country is just flowers." - Matt Wi (07/15/2018)
the netherlands
"Ours is the biggest. The rest of them are normal size." - Matt Wi (06/30/2018)
their baby is big
"They got five star ratings when people are dying." - Matt Wi (06/30/2018)
trip advisor
"Now we can send that to people." - Matt Wi (06/30/2018)
rex rolled over
"I need to get closer to your poop stain." - Matt Wi (06/30/2018)
"Cold blood? Pre-meditated?" - Matt Wi (06/30/2018)
"It missed a couple of ice cubes." - Matt Wi (05/05/2018)
we made strawberry daquiri's
"Maybe you wanna grab one of these big ones?" "That's what she said." - Matt Wi & Janny M (05/05/2018)
logs
"Costco is good for like normal home usage." - Matt Wi (05/05/2018)
"That's always a good way to get the county on your side." - Matt Wi (04/01/2018)
call them racist
"Slow screw... okay..." - Matt Wi (03/02/2018)
"So this one was mine!" - Matt Wi (03/02/2018)
scribblish... he was shocked
"The line of death." - Matt Wi (03/02/2018)
"Was her gum pink?" - Matt Wi (02/04/2018)
pink's gum
"Well she can't be drunk..." - Matt Wi (02/04/2018)
megan
"Yeah, me too... I'm like stop making beer." - Matt Wi (02/04/2018)
his tap kept pouring beer
"Damn. I thought we were like not drunk." - Matt Wi (02/04/2018)
"Rex, Tex, and Mex..." - Matt Wi (02/04/2018)
their names of their future children
"I think it's bigger..." "That's what she said." - Matt Wi & Janny M (01/31/2018)
a tahoe
"Did he give you a beer?" "No." - Matt Wi & Brian C (01/14/2018)
bri said he visited a milwalkee beer fan
"Dexter is giving DeeDee an ear job." - Matt Wi (01/01/2018)
"Six months." - Matt Wi (12/31/2017)
how long the doctor was practicing when they delivered bri's brother
"Ooo, I break your nose." - Matt Wi (12/31/2017)
"What's up with her shoulders?" "It's from the eighties." - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (12/31/2017)
"I don't think that's really her. It's probably a robot." - Matt Wi (12/31/2017)
brittney spears
"They're in the upside down." - Matt Wi (12/31/2017)
confetti everywhere
"Man I hope she f**ks up." - Matt Wi (12/31/2017)
mariah carrey
"She's still a square." - Matt Wi (12/31/2017)
"They're overrated!" - Matt Wi (12/16/2017)
firepits
"For a month she was drinking... with our baby!" - Matt Wi (12/16/2017)
"You're fudge is sugary and coarse." - Matt Wi (12/16/2017)
uncle neil's fudge is the best
"Why are you trying to look old?" - Matt Wi (12/16/2017)
megan's hair looks a bit gray
"Start em young I guess." - Matt Wi (11/10/2017)
megan bought their soon to be child a furry costume
"And then he grinded the bones down..." - Matt Wi (11/10/2017)
new orleans haunted story
"That's a Kevin Spacey joke." - Matt Wi (11/10/2017)
7 is a registered 6 offender
"You bought the s**ty one. It's probably like cardboard." - Matt Wi (11/10/2017)
"Dexter will be dead..." - Matt Wi (11/10/2017)
their dog
"So you can watch a good fifty percent of a show." - Matt Wi (10/08/2017)
their tv goes in and out
"It's almost as bad as having sex on a motorcycle." - Matt Wi (10/07/2017)
"Moving is an action." - Matt Wi (09/16/2017)
he had his middle finger up when explaining
"Thanks, Megan." "Yeah. Thanks." - Janny M & Matt Wi (09/16/2017)
megan blew up half the board
"Matt can you warm up a brownie and put some ice cream on top? I'm pregnant. I can't get up." - Matt Wi (09/16/2017)
"Okay well now we can do that so maybe we didn't cheat this whole time." - Matt Wi (09/16/2017)
"Well that's because her baby's on cocaine." - Matt Wi (09/16/2017)
"It has to be white." "You're racist!" - Janny M & Matt Wi (04/29/2017)
my marshmellows
"The flames of my doxan family." - Matt Wi (04/29/2017)
"It does kinda look hard, doesn't it?" - Matt Wi (04/29/2017)
"And now you drink bourbon barrel s**t." - Matt Wi (04/29/2017)
"But he's going places in life now... What does he work at a gym?" - Matt Wi (04/16/2017)
"The problem was dealt with." - Matt Wi (04/16/2017)
people who bullied megan
"I was like can you at least take that off for a photo? She was like, no." - Matt Wi (03/26/2017)
death valley was cold; megan was wearing face protection
"It's probably because she's fat. She's trying to breathe." - Matt Wi (03/26/2017)
DeeDee
"Too many explosions..." - Matt Wi (02/05/2017)
michael bay movies
"I don't know if I'd buy Tide for that." - Matt Wi (02/05/2017)
terry bradshaw commercial
"Why isn't the clock running?" "Cause it's an injury." - Matt Wi & Brian C (02/05/2017)
"You probably don't want her to get off the couch cause then some s**t would go down." - Matt Wi (01/27/2017)
their friend who dictates life from the couch
"Oh s**t. Somebody f**ked it up." - Matt Wi (01/27/2017)
"Dexter if you go first I'm gonna be upset." - Matt Wi (01/27/2017)
his dog
"Then you get that double shovel action." - Matt Wi (11/04/2016)
we made a song out of that
"Put your little thing on it..." "That's what she said." - Matt Wi & Janny M (11/04/2016)
"Priest and a nine year old." - Matt Wi (11/04/2016)
"He's like barking at his tail or something." - Matt Wi (11/04/2016)
"These leaves have a toxic smell to them. It must have been that bug spray we used." - Matt Wi (09/16/2016)
we put gas on the fire; megan told us not to
"Supenis?" - Matt Wi (09/16/2016)
our neighbors sign; get a supena in the mail
"Can I finish?" "No." "Thank you." - Megan Wi & Matt Wi (09/16/2016)
"He's like what's happening? I need to bark." - Matt Wi (09/16/2016)
dexter didn't know what was going on but barked anyway
"I'm passionate about candles." - Matt Wi (09/16/2016)
"He means sex favors." "What? It's a book. It doesn't warrant any sexual favors." - Janny M & Matt Wi (09/16/2016)
"He seemed normal as a person." - Matt Wi (07/22/2016)
his old roommate
"I still like the blow job card." - Matt Wi (07/22/2016)
"He like screwed my nipple up or something." - Matt Wi (07/22/2016)
"Wait. Something goes in there." "That's what she said." - Matt Wi & Brian C (07/22/2016)
a bag; putting the game away
"Okay, whatever. Put 'em in." "That's what she said." - Matt Wi & Brian C & Janny M (07/22/2016)
twss said at the same time
"I was in a bad position when I started." "That's what she said." - Matt Wi & Janny M (07/22/2016)
position in the game
"Is that distilled at all?" - Matt Wi (07/02/2016)
the tequila we were drinking
"Who's the drunk one?" - Matt Wi (07/02/2016)
pretty much all of us except megan who drove
"I don't know. It looks like a chocolate." - Matt Wi (07/02/2016)
a resource in splendor
"I'm f**king my way up to the top." "One pimp at a time." - Janny M & Matt Wi (07/02/2016)
"I'm gonna ask Siri..." - Matt Wi (07/02/2016)
what the dirivitive of 6x squared
"You got any wood, Matt?" "No." "I'm sorry Megan." "It's alright." - Janny M & Matt Wi & Janny M & Megan Wi (07/02/2016)
"That might help in the short run." - Matt Wi (07/02/2016)
"I don't understand the question..." - Matt Wi (07/02/2016)
"Pimp it for free." - Matt Wi (07/02/2016)
this point got crazy
"These go in this one." "That's what she said." - Matt Wi & Janny M (07/02/2016)
"Are you driving with the E break on?" - Matt Wi (02/05/2016)
"Watch for the dude." "I see him." - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (02/05/2016)
megan driving
"Probably not the best way to hide a present..." - Matt Wi (01/29/2016)
how he ran into the bedroom while megan was in the bathroom
"That's not the whole story..." "Well I'm telling it!" - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (01/29/2016)
"No one sits in the back seat." "Yeah, you do." - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (01/29/2016)
"I almost puked. It was gross." - Matt Wi (10/22/2015)
white things in your tonsils
"Some of us actually work at work." - Matt Wi (10/22/2015)
"I don't want to throw a wrench into things..." "Oh, please." - Lew G & Matt Wi (10/08/2015)
"It's cosmetic." - Matt Wi (06/14/2015)
this car we saw that was really broken
"It's a bra shirt." - Matt Wi (06/14/2015)
this woman who had a shirt like broken in the back
"There's this new website, it's basically Skype." - Matt Wi (06/14/2015)
"Hey, there's a line on the road. That means we're closer to civilization." - Matt Wi (06/14/2015)
out in wine country
"I don't know if it's worth it or not." - Matt Wi (06/14/2015)
"They put like dildos up her butt." - Matt Wi (06/06/2015)
"And I'm asleep." "Yeah, he's passed out. He's the f**k over there." - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (06/06/2015)
"How big is it?" "That's what she said." - Matt Wi & Janny M (06/06/2015)
"Sugar shack is a..." - Matt Wi (06/06/2015)
"Six. That's terrible." - Matt Wi (02/06/2015)
what megan rolled
"Sorry people at the farm." - Matt Wi (02/06/2015)
he did something bad to us
"Is that a stick?" - Matt Wi (02/06/2015)
lol we like to draw penises
"I tried my best..." - Matt Wi (02/06/2015)
the way he said it; in scribblish his drawing
"That two had a strike through it; that's why it's bad." - Matt Wi (02/06/2015)
in music
"Rand Paul gives me a huge erection." - Matt Wi (02/06/2015)
"I thought that was a money sign." - Matt Wi (02/06/2015)
someone's poor drawing
"I don't see the boobs." - Matt Wi (02/06/2015)
"All wars were fought with poor people." "Poor people. That's true." - Brian C & Matt Wi (02/06/2015)
"Penises will win." - Matt Wi (02/06/2015)
"Except it didn't have a penis. I added that myself." - Matt Wi (02/06/2015)
"That whore." - Matt Wi (11/17/2014)
"They're like dead." - Matt Wi (11/17/2014)
a nine year old dog... it isn't dead!
"I gotta put on some real shoes." - Matt Wi (09/26/2014)
him & bri were going to the store to get ice cream
"I have freaky winds. I can do whatever I want." - Matt Wi (09/24/2014)
"Are you color blind?" - Matt Wi (09/10/2014)
megan thought a white woman was black
"Designer flip flops?" - Matt Wi (09/10/2014)
ray rice got his wife's flip flops after the elevator
"She likes the granny panties." - Matt Wi (08/03/2014)
"Goat curious?" - Matt Wi (08/03/2014)
"It's a tooth... and she shakes it." - Matt Wi (07/30/2014)
apparently megan has some of her old teeth
"My people are dead. I can't do anything." - Matt Wi (07/30/2014)
small world
"Don't you mean the poopitrator?" - Matt Wi (07/30/2014)
someone has been pooping in their yard
"It's all that garlic bread." - Matt Wi (07/30/2014)
why wiki poops so much
"They're coming out with a shark sub." "That would be delicious." - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (07/19/2014)
"The stairs are natural forming." - Matt Wi (07/19/2014)
pic later
"We can eat at Restaurant." - Matt Wi (07/19/2014)
went to a po-dunk town in fredrick for ice cream & saw some rustic sights
"See. It only took like ten minutes." - Matt Wi (07/17/2014)
for bri to cook dinner on our gas grill... they have charcoal
"How do they get off the couch to get to the refrigerator?" - Matt Wi (07/17/2014)
really fat people
"Not everybody talks about it, like you." - Matt Wi (07/17/2014)
their bathroom habbits
"If it's not clean, I'm putting it away anyway." "Eww!" - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (06/24/2014)
he emptied the dishwasher
"Did they hear you?" "Probably." - Janny M & Matt Wi (06/11/2014)
"She was an adult." - Matt Wi (06/11/2014)
one of megans stories seems like a child story
"It would be a shot to my manhood, I think." - Matt Wi (05/26/2014)
if he couldn't start his grill
"She probably went back to New York to have sex with like twenty people." - Matt Wi (04/16/2014)
"So you guys were being all weird and I don't even remember." - Matt Wi (04/16/2014)
"You can get an attachment." - Matt Wi (03/21/2014)
"I don't know. I've seen a lot of penis's and a lot of boobs." - Matt Wi (03/21/2014)
"I drew those nipples." - Matt Wi (03/21/2014)
"Alright. Now tie it back into parasailing..." - Matt Wi (03/04/2014)
megan was telling us a story about rock climbing
"We drove because it was across the street." - Matt Wi (03/04/2014)
"It tastes the same no matter what cup you put it in." - Matt Wi (03/04/2014)
megan was making a mixed drink
"He's got herpes. Can't have an Oscar." - Matt Wi (03/04/2014)
leo has herpes?
"I'm on my second one." "Your second douche?" - Megan Wi & Matt Wi (03/04/2014)
"When you got the free drinks?" "That was different. You weren't around." - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (02/16/2014)
"We'll just put the money in the boot." - Matt Wi (02/02/2014)
for the bets
"That makes it healthy." - Matt Wi (02/02/2014)
frito's on a subway sandwich
"Peyton Manning for the M V P!" - Matt Wi (02/02/2014)
"Would it fit? It's pretty big." - Matt Wi (02/02/2014)
someone said they want to do bad things to the limbardi trophy
"Yeah. Uh huh... Friendly..." - Matt Wi (01/05/2014)
"They gave it to them because of Katrina." - Matt Wi (01/05/2014)
saints, the super bowl
"We're so incompetent we'd rather you order online." - Matt Wi (01/05/2014)
the domino's commercials
"I was trying to feel around for it." "That's what she said." "I was just going to say that." - Janny M & Brian C & Matt Wi (12/20/2013)
"What the penis is mine? Mine didn't closely resemble a penis." - Matt Wi (12/20/2013)
that's scribblish
"I don't look good with just a mustache." "No. Nobody does." - Brian C & Matt Wi (12/20/2013)
"So you're saying he played himself?" - Matt Wi (12/20/2013)
leonardo decaprio in what's eating gilbert grape
"Wow what are we gonna do with these fifteen apples?" "Uh, eat them as apple pie." - Megan Wi & Matt Wi (12/15/2013)
"It's a good read." - Matt Wi (12/14/2013)
intro to property book
"I'm gonna fog it." "What a horrible idea." - Megan Wi & Matt Wi (12/14/2013)
before their christmas tree comes in their house
"What? I believe in the movies." - Matt Wi (12/01/2013)
megan always says matt doesn't believe in things
"Cause she turned old this year." - Matt Wi (11/18/2013)
megan turned the big 3-0hh
"They would like make a baby." - Matt Wi (11/12/2013)
"I heard mustache." - Matt Wi (11/12/2013)
glamerous song
"Just go in there and suck 'em out." - Matt Wi (11/12/2013)
megan's eggs
"No, I believe they exist. I've seen them." - Matt Wi (11/02/2013)
flowers
"The United States sucks." - Matt Wi (11/02/2013)
playing a game with us or germany map
"Really? Who would play this by themselves?" - Matt Wi (10/29/2013)
a game we were about to play
"Are you black or yellow?" "Uh, is that a racial question?" - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (10/29/2013)
"How about none?" "Yeah!" - Megan Wi & Matt Wi (10/18/2013)
"I made poor life choices." - Matt Wi (10/09/2013)