Quotes At Long Live The Monkey

Megan Wi's Quotes

Megan Wi has made 692 quotes!

"Rhett, calm down. It's just poop." - Megan Wi (02/18/2025)
their dog pooped in rhett's room

"I feel it." - Megan Wi (02/16/2025)
how my buddy, rene, dumps out beer if he doesn't like it

"Go get me another one." "No. She's gonna think I'm an alcoholic." - Megan Wi & Matt Wi (02/16/2025)
the bartender; the open bar at the wedding

"When he goes, I'm not getting married again. I'm just gonna be myself." - Megan Wi (02/16/2025)
you go, girl

"Like the lion's prey at night." - Megan Wi (02/14/2025)

"He does but we're pretty terrible parents." - Megan Wi (03/26/2024)
rex is still on training wheels

"I was like, 'does she have a blockage? What's going on?'" - Megan Wi (10/23/2022)

"If I go to the store, I want to buy a whole shirt." - Megan Wi (10/23/2022)
she doesn't like mid-drifts

"Your girlfriend had two vaginas?" - Megan Wi (10/23/2022)
bri dated a girl that was xxx

"Now you're adding more dolphins into this rape. Now it's a gangbang." - Megan Wi (10/23/2022)
how do dolphins rape?

"Can you stop talking about poop, please?" - Megan Wi (10/22/2022)
matt was telling dexter not to poop

"Get your northern ass down the street." - Megan Wi (10/22/2022)
i wanted bug spray

"Even Rex said this is bad." - Megan Wi (10/21/2022)
the saints game on tnf

"I was like, 'get your four year old ass in here.'" - Megan Wi (10/21/2022)
rex wanted megan to get his drink

"I'll just sit here and think of you." - Megan Wi (10/21/2022) (pic)
that weird pic...

"They didn't give a s**t." - Megan Wi (08/08/2022)
nola didn't care about her jeep modifications

"He's gonna go to his catholic school and say, 'I play a game with my mom called drunk driver.'" - Megan Wi (08/07/2022)
bri's bad influence with the stroller

"It's like floor pizza now." - Megan Wi (08/07/2022)
the pizza was on the floor too much cause rex kept dropping it

"What the f**k... Sorry. What the hell... I mean..." "Wow, Janis." - Janny M & Megan Wi (08/07/2022)
i was trying not to cuss

"I just don't want to be touched for like thirty minutes..." - Megan Wi (08/07/2022)
by kids

"Wow. I can't believe that." - Megan Wi (08/07/2022)
matt ate the whole pizza

"Sixteen thousand calories?" - Megan Wi (08/07/2022)
how many calories was in the pizza matt just ate all of

"Sorry if you were looking for a booty shaking time." - Megan Wi (08/06/2022)
the concert we were going to wasn't a booty shaking time

"Don't you have a battery backup?" "Yeah, but he doesn't need to know that." - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (08/05/2022)
rex's tablet

"Oh no. Did he touch poop?" "I think he face planted in it." - Stephanie Wi & Megan Wi (08/05/2022)
rhett

"Did you lose a child?" "I'm about to." - Brian C & Megan Wi (08/04/2022)
rex was misbehaving

"They have inside voices?" "Yes, Janis." - Janny M & Megan Wi (08/04/2022)
the kids were loud

"Is that bacon?" "It's Paul McCartney." - Janny M & Megan Wi (08/04/2022)

"It's so bizarre. There's like cornfields and then warehouses." - Megan Wi (08/03/2022)
in indiannapolis

"Thank you, Megan." "I'm a mom." - Janny M & Megan Wi (08/03/2022)
she had supplies

"They don't black out all their windows." - Megan Wi (08/02/2022)

"We will be back. We just need to put them down..." - Megan Wi (08/02/2022)
the kids

"...And now we live in NOLA and it's a whole different ball game." "We were just at a ball game." - Megan Wi & Matt Wi (08/02/2022)

"It's just a divorce. It's not a murder trial." - Megan Wi (08/02/2022)

"The reason I was getting a tattoo of DeeDee is because she was my spirit animal. She was fat. She was stinky..." - Megan Wi (04/26/2022)

"Why is this so big? This is just not very flattering." - Megan Wi (04/26/2022)

"And you know about getting older... Janis..." - Megan Wi (04/26/2022)

"I don't know when the last time I took a bath." - Megan Wi (02/03/2022)

"I was like f**k that so I went out and bought a purse." - Megan Wi (02/03/2022)

"No. F**k them." - Megan Wi (02/03/2022)

"I have some sage just in case." - Megan Wi (02/03/2022)
their house might be haunted

"I can't buy any purses if it's in the safe." - Megan Wi (02/03/2022)
with money that's in the safe

"Put it in deeper." "No, Matt." "That's what she said." - Matt Wi & Megan Wi & Janny M (02/03/2022)
the selfie stick that they were holding up for the zoom

"It looked like a giant vagina in the sky." - Megan Wi (02/03/2022)

"Then there were all these jets that flew into the sky vagina..." - Megan Wi (02/03/2022)

"Come here. Let me smell your butt." - Megan Wi (11/01/2021)
rhett

"Where's this dude going? Is there a pool around?" - Megan Wi (11/01/2021)
guy walking around without a shirt

"They gotta sell alcohol today; it's halloween." "It's New Orleans." - Janny M & Megan Wi (10/31/2021)

"That kids naked over there... it's like whatever." - Megan Wi (10/31/2021)

"Eww... who gives out fruit snacks? That's garbage." - Megan Wi (10/31/2021)
going through rex's candy

"It's a two hander job." - Megan Wi (10/30/2021)

"No, the reason you're getting a divorce is because you're a bitch." - Megan Wi (10/29/2021)

"You're an idiot. I just can't. I can't!" - Megan Wi (10/29/2021)
some of the women at rex's school

"Can you go get me some clothes?" "No. What the hell?" - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (10/29/2021)

"I would be proud of that pimple if I were you." - Megan Wi (10/29/2021)
bri's forehead

"Get out the way. I gotta eat them burgers..." - Megan Wi (10/29/2021)
someone honked close to the rally's burger place

"Look, there's the pumpkin house." "Wait. Where's the pumpkin house?" - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (10/29/2021)
matt just said that right before

"Where did you lick it?" - Megan Wi (10/29/2021)
the salt on the margarita cup

"It tastes like a doctors office." - Megan Wi (10/29/2021)
the mezcow maragrita

"Mmm... not me..." - Megan Wi (10/29/2021)
a story about matt being on vacation with a girlfriend

"To get to our house, you have to go through the ghetto where two people were murdered." - Megan Wi (10/28/2021)

"You got my white shoes dirty. I'm gonna kill you." - Megan Wi (10/28/2021)

"I'm sure he's seen it all..." - Megan Wi (10/28/2021)

"Nobody was touching the tile..." "Oh, that was your excuse?" - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (10/28/2021)

"Good parenting, Matt!" - Megan Wi (04/23/2021)
he just moved the chair out of the way instead of disciplining kids

"No, sorry, my son is holding his penis." - Megan Wi (04/23/2021)

"I don't have any yard signs..." - Megan Wi (04/23/2021)

"Cause there are two or three or whatever." - Megan Wi (04/23/2021)

"What if we lost our dog?" - Megan Wi (04/23/2021)
before they move

"Cause I'm funny." - Megan Wi (04/16/2021)
i told megan to look at quotes & she's close to the top

"That's some bulls**t, yo." - Megan Wi (04/16/2021)
that i'm #1 for quotes

"We went to get pizza and we almost died." - Megan Wi (03/20/2021)

"Whatever. It was in a Jeep." - Megan Wi (03/20/2021)

"You have to look these people in the eye..." - Megan Wi (03/20/2021)
why she had poop shoes

"It was probably haunted..." - Megan Wi (03/20/2021)
one of the houses they were looking at in nola

"F**k them. They're stupid bitches..." - Megan Wi (03/20/2021)

"Can he live another five years?" - Megan Wi (03/20/2021)
dexter

"We're burning Jesus!" - Megan Wi (03/11/2021)
the different flame colors

"We just thought we were crucifying some Jewish Jews." - Megan Wi (03/11/2021)

"That can't be true at all." "It's totally true." - Janny M & Megan Wi (03/11/2021)
no sex after vaccine

"No holes in the crotch... No extra holes." - Megan Wi (03/11/2021)
fire landed near her crotch

"The barn was cool..." - Megan Wi (03/11/2021)
proposal story

"I'm done. I'm sitting in the car." - Megan Wi (03/11/2021)
proposal story

"You know what Matt needs?" "A hearing aid?" - Brian C & Megan Wi (03/04/2021)

"Teepee that collapsed." - Megan Wi (03/04/2021)
matt's teepee collapsed

"You didn't bring me water." "There's a hose right there." - Megan Wi & Matt Wi (03/04/2021)

"Now we're gonna move away and never find out about Brian's balls." - Megan Wi (03/04/2021)

"It's not even on the ground!" - Megan Wi (03/04/2021)
matt was putting the dog ramp up for the dogs but they couldn't get to it

"How about dog s**t?" - Megan Wi (01/02/2021)
something to get the fire going!

"Yeah this is like my third set of swingers..." - Megan Wi (01/02/2021)
she has a habit of meeting swingers

"Ew. I don't want to use public puzzles." - Megan Wi (01/02/2021)

"I like to keep it nice and solid." - Megan Wi (01/02/2021)
her poop... gross

"I have the pictures to prove it." - Megan Wi (01/02/2021)

"That was probably the dumbest thing I've ever done in my life." - Megan Wi (11/07/2020)
skinny dipping in the ocean at night

"I didn't think about sharks who eat at night." - Megan Wi (11/07/2020)

"Matt farts a lot." - Megan Wi (11/07/2020)

"Are you gonna rape yourself?" - Megan Wi (11/05/2020)
buying the date rape drug for yourself

"It's either a drug business or Uber Eats." - Megan Wi (11/05/2020)
their neighbor comes and goes at weird hours

"Not that there's anything wrong with selling drugs." - Megan Wi (11/05/2020)

"These people think that they don't know. But I know." - Megan Wi (11/05/2020)

"Then there's people like me who's underwear is falling apart... and now I don't wear any." - Megan Wi (11/01/2020)
people who blow money

"No, I posted a picture about your children." - Megan Wi (11/01/2020)

"Damn dogs." - Megan Wi (11/01/2020)

"It's a piece of s**t!" - Megan Wi (11/01/2020)
matt's expensive chair

"How do you get skinny?" "Cocaine." - Megan Wi & Matt Wi (11/01/2020)
chris rock

"Yeah, I wasn't thinking when it was time to yell at someone." - Megan Wi (10/04/2020)
sons rex and rhett

"It was like on your stomach like a pregnant woman." - Megan Wi (10/04/2020)
tuperwere

"You know what that sounds like? That sounds like jealousy." - Megan Wi (06/07/2020)
guy driving down the road making loud noises with his engine

"Stop arguing. You broke it." - Megan Wi (06/07/2020)

"These men are not smart tonight." "Tonight?" - Janny M & Megan Wi (05/31/2020)

"He's making a riot." - Megan Wi (05/31/2020)

"What do you guys do for exercise?" "Lift logs and s**t." "Grow humans and s**t." - Janny M & Matt Wi & Megan Wi (05/31/2020)

"Next time you run for office that s**t is coming out." - Megan Wi (05/31/2020)
i threw a coors can in the fire

"I'm going upstairs to get my s**t." - Megan Wi (04/30/2020)

"You trashed my bazar? You motherf**ker." - Megan Wi (04/05/2020)

"It was like true death." - Megan Wi (04/04/2020)
matt's gas

"I think he's pooping right now." - Megan Wi (04/03/2020)

"He's on the I pad. He's probably making a drink or something... after pooping." - Megan Wi (04/03/2020)

"I video chatted on the toilet with a friend yesterday." - Megan Wi (04/03/2020)

"I don't know if I can do three months of this." - Megan Wi (04/03/2020)

"Stop looking at my s**t!" - Megan Wi (04/03/2020)
they play dominion next to each other

"Well damn." - Megan Wi (04/01/2020)
i bought a province

"You just took a giant poop." "No, I didn't. That would take forever." - Megan Wi & Matt Wi (04/01/2020)

"That's why it's called the tactician." "That's why it's called the bulls**t." - Megan Wi & Matt Wi (04/01/2020)

"Matt, how much beer you got?" "I got a whole frige full." - Megan Wi & Matt Wi (04/01/2020)
she meant in his glass

"I posted a link to a website. You guys can check it out." "Yeah, we're not going to." - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (02/28/2020)
a shoe tying website

"The debate comes on at eight." "What time does the debate come on?" - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (02/25/2020)

"I love how you offer right after I cut the bell pepper." - Megan Wi (02/02/2020)
i offered to help after she did most of the work

"She's had so much plastic surgery..." - Megan Wi (02/02/2020)

"Matt... ten seconds..." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Megan Wi (01/16/2020)

"Ugh. You got me a yellow one? Nasty!" - Megan Wi (01/16/2020)
popsickle

"Go. Get it in, Matt. Jeez!" "That's what she said." - Megan Wi & Janny M (01/16/2020)
get the ball into the goal

"She looks like a man." - Megan Wi (01/16/2020)
mariska hargitay

"I don't get it. Are you protecting your nipples?" - Megan Wi (12/03/2019)
mesh shirt that a band member was wearing

"Which way do I go?" - Megan Wi (12/03/2019)
her gps wasn't precise

"I was surprised you didn't go in the church." "Well, you know..." - Janny M & Megan Wi (12/02/2019)

"Nice big tires. I like 'em big." - Megan Wi (11/19/2019)

"He was like, 'let's dance. Let me buy you some drinks,' so I was like, okay." - Megan Wi (11/14/2019)

"Did I bring them? No. I must have left them in the house. Mom of the year!" - Megan Wi (11/14/2019)
rex's books

"I also like to pretend that I'm healthy." - Megan Wi (11/14/2019)

"That's kinda how I feel... whatevs." - Megan Wi (11/11/2019)

"Oh, damn. We just cleaned back there." - Megan Wi (11/10/2019)
she flung her sock behind the couch

"Matt, I'm drunk. I can't do it." - Megan Wi (11/10/2019)

"...So most of the bitches there..." - Megan Wi (11/10/2019)
at the meetup

"She won't answer her phone either. My family sucks!" - Megan Wi (11/10/2019)
trying to facetime with people

"I have to go pee pee pee." - Megan Wi (11/10/2019)
singing wheels on the bus

"Thank God you're here!" - Megan Wi (11/10/2019)
brian finally came!

"It's too hot. It kills them." - Megan Wi (11/10/2019)
sperm in the hot tub

"Thanks for coming to get her... Her drunk a*s." - Megan Wi (11/10/2019)
to brian

"Why don't you ask if they have a permit to call you?" - Megan Wi (11/07/2019)
telemarketers to call brian; making fun of him for calling the police about a block party w/o permit

"This is mommy juice." - Megan Wi (11/07/2019)
telling rex that's her wine

"You can't have my juice. You can have your juice." - Megan Wi (11/07/2019)
talking to rex

"Oh, green beans.?" - Megan Wi (11/07/2019)
green beans said with quotation fingers; what brian was growing

"It's like right above the crack..." - Megan Wi (11/07/2019)
the pain in her butt

"There are also cows you can tip over." "They're not that easy to tip over." - Brian C & Megan Wi (11/07/2019)
what megan can do in Indiana over thanksgiving

"If you get the stroller we can all have fun." - Megan Wi (11/01/2019)
telling matt to get the stroller for rex

"You have internet?" "No, it's downloaded. I'm smart." - Janny M & Megan Wi (11/01/2019)
netflix for rex

"Yes, it's real. Touch it." - Megan Wi (11/01/2019)
the pumpkin on the table

"Cause that's the number one item that they sell." "A*s wipes!" - Janny M & Megan Wi (11/01/2019)

"You guys are some rogue liberals!" - Megan Wi (11/01/2019)

"You don't go around saying, 'oh my gourd?'" - Megan Wi (11/01/2019)
i never heard a squash called a gourd before

"Use the big toilet. Not the little one." - Megan Wi (11/01/2019)
said to brian when he was in the bathroom

"But she's anti social." "Yeah, she's awesome." - Janny M & Megan Wi (11/01/2019)
deedee

"Funny, haha, let's go get drunk." - Megan Wi (10/27/2019)
telling a story

"You're already half way up." - Megan Wi (10/27/2019)
matt was sitting up so megan wanted him to get the cheesecake

"You want chicken nuggets?" "No. I hate him." - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (10/27/2019)
for her eye; megan turned to me during the 'i hate him' part

"That's not really quotable. I say that all the time." - Megan Wi (10/27/2019)
let's get drunk quote

"I dropped something in my crotch." - Megan Wi (10/20/2019)
it was part of a cookie

"Every time I'm home it smells like Matt, dog, and candle." - Megan Wi (10/18/2019)

"Oh! Jesus!" - Megan Wi (10/18/2019)
fire crackled near her

"I got in there and was like, 'it doesn't smell like new car anymore.'" - Megan Wi (10/18/2019)
the really bad smell in their car; it was spoiled milk

"They're like forming a compound." - Megan Wi (10/18/2019)
her family is moving really really close to one another; taking up a block

"This is so heavy!" "That's what she said." - Megan Wi & Janny M (10/18/2019)
the wood

"Damn. I gotta work on my quotes." - Megan Wi (10/18/2019)
they did this night for sure

"Thanks big burly men... That's a quote!" - Megan Wi (10/18/2019)
she stroked the fire all by herself & moved really big logs around

"So they are swingers." "No, they're not swingers." - Brian C & Megan Wi (10/18/2019)

"Those women are on drugs..." - Megan Wi (10/18/2019)
the mothers at the playground

"His wig is pretty legit." - Megan Wi (10/07/2019)
alex trebek

"Can I have a frosty?" - Megan Wi (10/07/2019)
she wanted an alcohoic frosty

"Stop touching my weenie!" - Megan Wi (10/07/2019)
her dog

"I don't like it when you touch my weenie." - Megan Wi (10/07/2019)
her dog

"Can you not sit in my suitcase, please?" - Megan Wi (10/04/2019)
rex

"Wiki looks smaller here." - Megan Wi (10/04/2019)
over their house

"What are you doing with the cooking oil?" - Megan Wi (09/23/2019)
rex got the cooking oil out of the cabnet

"Dexter. This is my alcoholic icey. Get your own." - Megan Wi (09/23/2019)

"I think they have time to come back." - Megan Wi (09/23/2019)
the redskins were losing pretty bad

"It had too much head." - Megan Wi (09/14/2019)
the beer that i thought tasted like a penis

"You don't say, 'I love you'?" "No." "What? You don't love me?" - Janny M & Megan Wi & Matt Wi (09/13/2019)
matt on speaker phone; megan thought he hung up

"I think he wore himself out on his musical adventure." - Megan Wi (09/13/2019)
rex; kids toy that kept saying "musical adventure"

"I don't know if you've noticed but I'm kinda short." - Megan Wi (09/12/2019)
she wants a lifted jeep

"I don't like this woman." "Well she is like evil..." - Megan Wi & Matt Wi (09/12/2019)
klobachar

"And a Jeep, I'm gonna f**k it up." - Megan Wi (09/06/2019)

"That was like the one pro of being in that relationship." - Megan Wi (09/06/2019)
business class to europe with her ex husband

"It's one of the best deformities to have." - Megan Wi (09/06/2019)
cleft foot

"Is there a bathroom down here?" "Yes, but let me see if it's clean..." - Alihandro S & Megan Wi (09/06/2019)

"Dress up for work? Like you have to wear underwear?" - Megan Wi (09/06/2019)

"Who we banging tonight?" - Megan Wi (09/06/2019)
playing a banging game

"It's not penises. It's peni." - Megan Wi (09/06/2019)

"I like to bang Matt." - Megan Wi (09/06/2019)
in the banging game

"What the f**k, Janis?" - Megan Wi (09/06/2019)

"Don't lick that." - Megan Wi (08/27/2019)
rex was licking a dog toy

"Oh, the penis beer." - Megan Wi (08/27/2019)
funny story about untappd

"It's the south. They don't care." - Megan Wi (08/27/2019)
if you throw up on the beach & cover it up

"...I have wenches..." "Only one... It's a gang bang." - Janny M & Megan Wi (08/18/2019)

"Please stop motorboating me." - Megan Wi (08/05/2019)
rex

"Hey dork!" "Did you see like five people turn around?" - Janny M & Megan Wi (08/04/2019)
at gencon

"Rex, do you want to go to church to learn about Jesus?" - Megan Wi (08/03/2019)

"Well he wasn't slowing down." "Well, neither were you." - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (08/03/2019)
matt driving a little crazy in the neighborhood

"Is she pregnant? She was like walking really slow." - Megan Wi (08/03/2019)

"It's, uh, champagne s**t." - Megan Wi (08/03/2019)
champagne beer

"Well, I wasn't ready to go public with no profile picture." - Megan Wi (08/02/2019)
her new instagram account; iplaygamesanddrinkthings

"I know how to get s**t done." - Megan Wi (08/02/2019)

"Too deep." "That's what she said." "Haha." - Megan Wi & Janny M (08/02/2019)
her beer

"What is this? A fricken frat party?" - Megan Wi (08/02/2019) (pic)
plastic cups for our beer?!?

"I have meat in my mouth." - Megan Wi (08/02/2019)

"That seems s**ty." - Megan Wi (08/02/2019)
no extra points

"Brown sugar on the dance floor." - Megan Wi (08/02/2019)

"How are you so regular? You don't even drink coffee." - Megan Wi (08/01/2019)
talking about bri's pooping habbits

"Let's play with Russia Russia Russia." "I can see it from my house." - Janny M & Megan Wi (08/01/2019)
playing power grid & the russia expansion

"The strogenoffs? You haven't had that many mules yet." - Megan Wi (08/01/2019)

"But she's dead." - Megan Wi (08/01/2019)
retha franklin

"I know, right? Who's baby is this?" - Megan Wi (07/31/2019)
rex wanted watermelon instead of tator tots

"You just smushed a poop." - Megan Wi (07/31/2019)
rex's diaper

"They're man made, Brian." - Megan Wi (07/31/2019)
the hills in indiana

"They til the land..." - Megan Wi (07/31/2019)

"Do you want some of my McFlurry? It's rather large." "That's what she said." - Megan Wi & Matt Wi (07/31/2019)

"It won't be fully stocked when we leave." - Megan Wi (07/30/2019)
matt's parents bar is fully stocked

"This is why I don't want to go out in public with you." - Megan Wi (07/30/2019)
talking about matt

"Does it look ghetto?" "Yes." - Janny M & Megan Wi (07/24/2019)
they put their furniture boxes on top of weeds to kill them

"Not having a job is so nice." - Megan Wi (07/24/2019)

"Cajuns don't over cook." - Megan Wi (07/24/2019)

"Please don't put your juice in my boobs. That's not where your juice goes." - Megan Wi (07/21/2019)
talking to rex

"My cousin was like it must have been laced with something." - Megan Wi (07/20/2019)
her aunt was 'acting funny' at the concert

"I'm glad she got high." - Megan Wi (07/20/2019)
her aunt

"She sounds like she's from Maryland." - Megan Wi (07/20/2019)
this was a dissss!

"I still want to be safe for me and my child." "It's got a roll cage." - Megan Wi & Matt Wi (07/20/2019)
megan wants a jeep but it has to be safe

"You could probably find a husband there, too." - Megan Wi (07/20/2019)
the cigar factory in Tampa

"I'm stuck here." "That's what she said." - Megan Wi & Matt Wi (06/29/2019)

"That's quotable." - Megan Wi (06/29/2019)
i'm full of poop

"That's what's wrong with your marriage." - Megan Wi (06/08/2019)
i didn't eat the year old wedding cake

"Don't listen to her. She doesn't cook." - Megan Wi (06/08/2019)
i asked rex why his oven was on at 350 and he was baking an apple

"Your guacamole is so good." "Thanks." - Janny M & Megan Wi (06/08/2019)
she burped before the thanks

"Sorry." "No, I don't think you are." - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (06/08/2019)
matt let brian win

"I'm gonna murder you with lava." "Bless your heart." - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (06/08/2019)

"How many napkins do we need?" "I don't know. Some people are messy... like Janis." - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (06/08/2019)

"Dot and feather." - Megan Wi (06/08/2019)
indian

"Matt, I don't know what's wrong with this beer." - Megan Wi (05/31/2019)
the beer came out 95% foam

"We went to a Bay Sox... Bay Watch... game the other day..." - Megan Wi (05/31/2019)

"He probably went poop upstairs." - Megan Wi (05/31/2019)

"No, that's my dildo. I don't know why it's down here." - Megan Wi (05/31/2019)
it was a wine bottle opener

"They're for outside." - Megan Wi (05/31/2019)

"Well I'm glad you and Janis can get through it together." - Megan Wi (05/31/2019)
the foam beer

"Janis is only twenty..." - Megan Wi (05/31/2019)

"It was you who was supposed to block her." She doesn't even know how to play." - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (05/31/2019)
i kept winning

"How do we play Lords of Waterdeep for three hours and mess up at tic tac toe?" - Megan Wi (05/31/2019)

"I'ma walk the plank." - Megan Wi (05/04/2019)

"This does take place in Kentucky, you guys." - Megan Wi (05/04/2019)
the kentucky derby

"I hate you." - Megan Wi (05/04/2019)

"Actually, could you just put in in the oven?" - Megan Wi (05/04/2019)
bri was wondering why there was one chicken nugget on a pan

"Genius Janis!" - Megan Wi (05/04/2019)

"It's cucaracha music. You hear it?" - Megan Wi (05/04/2019)

"My tongue is too short to fit in there." - Megan Wi (05/04/2019)
her strawberry daiquiri

"Mommy's getting drunk, drunk drunk." - Megan Wi (04/05/2019)

"Everybody wants to have sex with me... What can I say?" - Megan Wi (04/05/2019)

"We'll probably get there safer." - Megan Wi (03/23/2019)
if rex drove

"What made her want to go into hotel management?" "I don't know cause she's not a people person." - Megan Wi & DeVP (03/23/2019)

"But his eyebrows are on fleek!" - Megan Wi (02/08/2019)
chuck todd's

"It means bangin!" - Megan Wi (02/08/2019)
fleek

"Sophisticated trailer parks." - Megan Wi (02/08/2019)

"Geez. There's like no cushion left." - Megan Wi (02/08/2019)

"Not in the shape of a penis." - Megan Wi (02/08/2019)

"Wiki came out of the closet." - Megan Wi (01/04/2019)
his nails are painted pink

"She probably doesn't." - Megan Wi (01/01/2019)
know what's going on

"What is she?" - Megan Wi (01/01/2019)
i think we were watching rick & morty

"I always do." - Megan Wi (12/31/2018)
spike eggnog

"I don't wanna kill you tonight." - Megan Wi (12/31/2018)

"You look like a dirty baby right now." - Megan Wi (12/31/2018)
rex

"I'm like what the f**k is wrong with you? I"m like my life is over." - Megan Wi (12/31/2018)
after she had rex

"I'm joining the gym cause I'm fat." "Yeah, I know." - Megan Wi & Matt Wi (12/31/2018)

"Yeah, who doesn't want the s**ts while they're drunk?" - Megan Wi (12/31/2018)

"I think el poncho makes it Mexican." - Megan Wi (12/31/2018)

"No, it's not her it's her friend who's racist." - Megan Wi (12/31/2018)
quotes

"So long as the tape's up..." - Megan Wi (12/31/2018)
their new years decoration

"I'm getting there. It's only been a month." - Megan Wi (12/31/2018)

"You can't leave so you just s**t in your pants." - Megan Wi (12/31/2018)
nyc nye

"Nice, Janis." - Megan Wi (12/31/2018)
by this point i was drunk so idk

"You don't know who lovely the band is?" - Megan Wi (12/31/2018)

"Then I have to put pants on!" - Megan Wi (12/07/2018)
to go get food

"...Like Indians. The dot, not the feather." - Megan Wi (12/07/2018)

"So when I went to computer engineering school..." "You heard about raspberry pies?" - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (12/07/2018)

"I thought you were lying at first." - Megan Wi (12/07/2018)

"I asked you to clean that s**t up." "Oh, sorry. Do you wanna clean it up?" - Megan Wi & Matt Wi (12/02/2018)

"As long as I'm not holding him, it's cool." - Megan Wi (12/02/2018)
rex

"We try to socialize him. It's cool." - Megan Wi (12/02/2018)
taking rex to dog parks... or something

"I was pretty pregnant..." - Megan Wi (12/02/2018)
telling a story

"That's a good head." "That's what she said." - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (12/02/2018)

"That does not look like a safe helicopter." - Megan Wi (12/02/2018)

"That thing almost looks like a drone." - Megan Wi (12/02/2018)

"He has nine kids. He can get it in." - Megan Wi (12/02/2018)
phillip rivers

"How old was he when he had his eighth child?" - Megan Wi (12/02/2018)

"Yeah, he's happy because we don't touch him anymore." - Megan Wi (10/07/2018)
dexter finally getting some attention

"Do you see what you started?" - Megan Wi (10/07/2018)
matt giving rex a taste of alcohol

"Let me call my cousin. She might remember." - Megan Wi (10/07/2018)
a me drunk story

"It's his parents. They did that. They made that." - Megan Wi (10/07/2018)

"I was hoping it was a silent one but it wasn't." - Megan Wi (10/07/2018)

"The butt spatula." - Megan Wi (10/07/2018)
changing rex's diaper

"Who didn't date Tony Romo?" - Megan Wi (09/09/2018)

"Now we got rice for ten years!" - Megan Wi (09/09/2018)
matt bought a lot of rice at costco

"Do you want the boob?" - Megan Wi (08/19/2018)
asking rex if he wants to be fed

"Rex was gettin' hood." - Megan Wi (08/19/2018)
megan was rapping

"Is this stranger danger?" - Megan Wi (07/15/2018)
rex cried when he saw me

"Did you find banjo music cause we're going in the woods?" - Megan Wi (07/15/2018)

"Can you travel, please?" - Megan Wi (07/15/2018)
matt wasn't sure what else was in the neverlands

"He likes to ride ass." - Megan Wi (07/15/2018)
matt tailgates

"He likes it up all in that crack." - Megan Wi (07/15/2018)
matt likes to tailgate

"Our mailman is Asian. And the U P S guy is black." - Megan Wi (06/30/2018)
who rex's dad is

"He's like f**k them. I'm gonna go s**t in some rocks." - Megan Wi (06/30/2018)
dexter has been pooping in rocks since they brought home rex

"Are you buying it from your mom?" "No." "White privilege." - Megan Wi & Brian C (06/30/2018)
brian's new car

"You got white privilege coming out of your ass." - Megan Wi (06/30/2018)

"That's when I knew." - Megan Wi (06/30/2018)
matt was able to tap a keg; that's when megan knew he was the one

"Is it wet?" "That's what she said." - Megan Wi & Janny M (06/30/2018)

"Ugh. You got it on me." "That's what she said." - Megan Wi & Janny M (06/30/2018)

"Well now that you mention it, there are a lot of Mexicans there." - Megan Wi (06/30/2018)

"No. She's white. She's from Louisiana. She's just stupid and s**t." - Megan Wi (06/30/2018)
naming children wierd names

"I don't know why you let an alcoholic make drinks." - Megan Wi (05/05/2018)
matt was making the daquiri's

"You don't look at my messages?" - Megan Wi (05/05/2018)

"She's got man-urisms." - Megan Wi (05/05/2018)
a lesbian she knows

"Our neighbors parties must blow. First off, they didn't invite us." - Megan Wi (05/05/2018)
neighbors were having a party & everyone left by 8

"He could probably come out right now and start a better fire." - Megan Wi (05/05/2018)
rex

"Make them think we're not here." - Megan Wi (05/05/2018)
turn the lights off for the dogs so they wouldn't bark

"Was Bill Cosby there?" - Megan Wi (05/05/2018)

"Wow. That must suck." - Megan Wi (05/05/2018)
spiders live at the same place all their lives

"And at Costco they're like huge right now." - Megan Wi (05/05/2018)

"It was a huge piece of meat." "That's what she said." - Megan Wi & Brian C (04/14/2018)

"I'm from Louisiana. We eat everything." - Megan Wi (04/01/2018)
rabbit stew

"It's kinda hard to use chopsticks on mashed potatoes." - Megan Wi (04/01/2018)
i put out chopsticks for april fools

"Because he has no balls?" - Megan Wi (04/01/2018)
wiki

"I really don't have a strategy right now..." - Megan Wi (03/02/2018)

"Jewels..." - Megan Wi (03/02/2018)
the way she said it

"Did you shave your pussy?" - Megan Wi (03/02/2018)
size_t is bald a little

"I think anything above my house is north." - Megan Wi (03/02/2018)

"We don't need a history lesson, we just need to know where the fricken line is." - Megan Wi (03/02/2018)
brian was giving the history of the mason-dixon line

"So our s**t went everywhere." - Megan Wi (03/02/2018)

"You mean your cat hit your deductible?" - Megan Wi (03/02/2018)

"It's a Kia..." - Megan Wi (03/02/2018)

"Sharks and I was like Oh my God." - Megan Wi (03/02/2018)

"Going out of Boutte... booty." - Megan Wi (02/05/2018)
bouttie is pronounced booty

"Bathrooms don't make you money..." - Megan Wi (02/05/2018)
she wants to buy more property before they redo their bathrooms

"So we're gonna make people drive your death cabin?" - Megan Wi (02/04/2018)
matt's car

"Ugh. Smells like breast milk." - Megan Wi (02/04/2018)

"I thought there was something wrong with her face..." - Megan Wi (02/04/2018)
carrie underwood

"I can like pump and dump." - Megan Wi (02/04/2018)

"We still need room for strollers and s**t." - Megan Wi (01/31/2018)
in their new car

"Ew. It's all sweaty." - Megan Wi (01/31/2018)
matt got a hat and gave it to megan

"That's a Countach." "Watch your mouth!" - Brian C & Megan Wi (01/31/2018)

"Matt. Don't you fight with me about cookies." - Megan Wi (01/31/2018)
she wanted cookies

"No mommy mobile?" "No." - Janny M & Megan Wi (01/14/2018)
they won't get a minivan

"She's like, 'oh, you feel like Mommy.'" - Megan Wi (01/14/2018)
deedee was on bri

"Maybe we should look at his penis picture again. See if he's got it going on." - Megan Wi (01/14/2018)
see if their son will be a porn star

"Do we have gin?" - Megan Wi (01/14/2018)
i said if the saints won we should do a shot of gin for ginn jr

"All I'm hearing is sore losers." - Megan Wi (01/14/2018)
she beat us at the dice game

"They do touch a lot at that forest." - Megan Wi (01/01/2018)
field of screams i think

"Oh my God it's thunder time." - Megan Wi (01/01/2018)

"Speaking of poop..." - Megan Wi (12/31/2017)
they have a poop game

"No, Janis would look like that on the beach." - Megan Wi (12/31/2017)
like i was fully dressed currently

"What's up with the floating lamb?" - Megan Wi (12/31/2017)

"Who are these people?" "Sorry, I brought them over." - Megan Wi & Janny M (12/31/2017)
i brought over patrick & becky... megan wasn't talking about them though

"Who are those ching chongs?" - Megan Wi (12/31/2017)
megan was telling a story

"What's up with her shoulders?" "It's from the eighties." - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (12/31/2017)

"I didn't want to ask, 'so can we f**k?'" - Megan Wi (12/31/2017)
she was trying to ask her doctor if she could exercize while pregnant

"New years eve is an emotional time for people." - Megan Wi (12/31/2017)

"But they have two social security numbers." - Megan Wi (12/16/2017)
siamese twins

"Maybe you don't drink all of them until May?" - Megan Wi (12/16/2017)
we gave matt a mixer set for christmas

"What? I would never." - Megan Wi (12/16/2017)
wait for brian to buy the crappy card

"Guess I'll have to pick now..." - Megan Wi (12/16/2017)

"So there was a lot of action going on down there..." - Megan Wi (11/10/2017)
her doctors appointments

"They're having all that gay sex..." - Megan Wi (11/10/2017)
their tenants

"And I've been pooping like a champ!" - Megan Wi (11/10/2017)
her constipation is over in her pregnancy... tmi!

"Oh, Mormons..." - Megan Wi (11/10/2017)

"Bri, are you pooping?" "I'm pretty sure he is." - Janny M & Megan Wi (10/07/2017)

"At least one of us does." - Megan Wi (10/07/2017)
she can't poop anymore

"Every honk honk she does, you can do double." - Megan Wi (10/07/2017)
different rules in people's houses

"It would feel like I'm copying her... b***h." - Megan Wi (10/07/2017)
her neighbor has a skeleton & she doesn't want to get one

"He was like, 'why are you guys so smart?'" - Megan Wi (10/07/2017)
we told them to move the truck to make it easier to move the wood

"I hope he doesn't eat Mexican food." - Megan Wi (10/07/2017)
cat genie runs for 20 minutes

"This fire is too big!" - Megan Wi (10/07/2017)

"Do you know how drunk I'm gonna get after I'm done breastfeeding?" - Megan Wi (09/16/2017)

"I'm good with my hand." - Megan Wi (09/16/2017)

"He shuffled. I watched." - Megan Wi (09/16/2017)
a bad card was drawn; bri shuffled

"The show was talking about eyeballs and it was really cool." - Megan Wi (09/16/2017)
what matt said

"Seriously? You were in a fraternity." - Megan Wi (09/16/2017)
matt was sipping his beer instead of chugging it

"Matt's like a woman." - Megan Wi (08/06/2017)
gossip

"You're trying to steal my drink." - Megan Wi (08/06/2017)

"The hell you are!" - Megan Wi (08/06/2017)

"None of us will have eyebrows." - Megan Wi (08/06/2017)
if matt gets his hands on the lighter fluid

"Who needs to know that I'm eating canolis?" - Megan Wi (08/06/2017)
why she doesn't post to facebook

"People think I'm an alcoholic." - Megan Wi (08/06/2017)
why she doesn't post to facebook

"Nobody needs to know I'm a fat a*s alcoholic." - Megan Wi (08/06/2017)
why she doesn't post to facebook

"People do it..." - Megan Wi (04/29/2017)
taxadormy to their pets

"Is it hard?" - Megan Wi (04/29/2017)
the smore

"I'm all like happy... and white." - Megan Wi (04/29/2017)

"I decided to put some effort into my appearance." - Megan Wi (04/16/2017)

"It's really wet and moist..." "That's what she said." - Megan Wi & Janny M (04/16/2017)

"The rest of my family is not adventurous like not trying new food or going outside the state of Louisiana." - Megan Wi (04/16/2017)

"You need to come back when you can drink because I don't know what to do with you." - Megan Wi (04/16/2017)
her cousin who visited is only 19

"I'm like your Easter basket." - Megan Wi (04/16/2017)
full of eggs; his precious cargo

"And it's so quiet. I was wondering why and it was because everybody was signing." - Megan Wi (04/16/2017)
they went to a deaf school

"The only s**ts I have..." - Megan Wi (04/16/2017)

"Jesus made water out of wine." - Megan Wi (04/16/2017)
lol impressive

"I'm gonna start looking for Jeeps..." - Megan Wi (04/16/2017)
she is obsessed with getting a jeep

"I feel like I need to be high right now." - Megan Wi (03/26/2017)
when she watched into the wilderness

"This is my life." - Megan Wi (03/26/2017)
dogs whinning all the time

"I can make 'em bigger." "That's what she said." - Megan Wi & Brian C (02/05/2017)

"Oh so he can kick it at home?" - Megan Wi (02/05/2017)
bush's were released from the hospital

"Where'd she go?" - Megan Wi (02/05/2017)
lady gaga jumped & vanished

"You should go to your doctor and get your balls touched." - Megan Wi (01/27/2017)

"I feel bad but not really cause it's a funny story..." - Megan Wi (01/27/2017)

"That's how normal people would be but it's Louisiana." - Megan Wi (01/27/2017)
concerned if someone's hurt

"I have to do all the work!" - Megan Wi (01/27/2017)
being on top since matt was injured

"Matt! That's so nasty. You know there's women at the table." - Megan Wi (01/27/2017)
megan burped

"...Touch your balls..." - Megan Wi (01/27/2017)

"You can get comfortable." "What do you mean? Like take off my clothes?" - Megan Wi & Janny M (01/27/2017)

"They love me more than you do." - Megan Wi (01/27/2017)
the dogs

"We bought them used so..." - Megan Wi (01/27/2017)
the dogs

"Eww, Megan. You get paid to poop?" "Yeah." - Janny M & Megan Wi (01/27/2017)

"I need to change into my poop shoes." - Megan Wi (01/27/2017)
so no one recognizes her

"You have to change into your poop shoes so you don't know who's pooping." - Megan Wi (01/27/2017)
work protocols

"Or you can take one of my peni..." - Megan Wi (11/04/2016)

"Whose turn is it?" - Megan Wi (11/04/2016)
so squemish

"I can't help it. I know I got these big fleshy boobs." - Megan Wi (09/24/2016)

"I need a dark, creamy porter to wash out the fire in my mouth." - Megan Wi (09/24/2016)
she ate something really spicy

"It's like I'm talking to my dogs... Go get your beer." - Megan Wi (09/24/2016)
she was telling matt to go get another beer

"Is there any man boobs you'd want to motorboat?" - Megan Wi (09/24/2016)

"You being a crazy woman." - Megan Wi (09/24/2016)

"I would imagine the dog would shake and poop go flying everywhere." - Megan Wi (09/16/2016)
dog diaper thingy

"She's a little s**t." - Megan Wi (09/16/2016)
her dog dee dee

"No she's fat." - Megan Wi (09/16/2016)
her dog

"They're my dogs. Don't get attached." - Megan Wi (09/16/2016)
talking to matt

"Don't make me get all southern on you." - Megan Wi (09/16/2016)

"Can I finish?" "No." "Thank you." - Megan Wi & Matt Wi (09/16/2016)

"How do you know?" "Stalking..." - Kavita T & Megan Wi (09/10/2016)

"Ew. My first period." - Megan Wi (09/10/2016)
cah

"I think she ate a disappointing salad." - Megan Wi (09/10/2016)
cah

"You b***hes really did take everything, didn't you?" - Megan Wi (07/22/2016)
playing a board game

"You guys are pussies." - Megan Wi (07/22/2016)
taking curruptions or something

"Are we using these little ones?" "That's what she said." - Megan Wi & Janny M (07/22/2016)

"Of wood?" - Megan Wi (07/22/2016)

"We're not talking about roads, we're talking about dogs." - Megan Wi (07/15/2016)

"You're pregnant?" "No. Oh, God no." - Janny M & Megan Wi (07/15/2016)

"And she walks into a bar with a big a*s dog and a baseball bat and says give me some cigarettes." - Megan Wi (07/02/2016)
a story about her aunt in NYC

"He wasn't eaten." - Megan Wi (07/02/2016)
matt was saying her dog was eaten by an allegator

"I like pounded two ciders really fast..." - Megan Wi (07/02/2016)

"It's tile. It's like a plate." - Megan Wi (07/02/2016)
bri was putting his chips on our table

"I told you... duh." - Megan Wi (07/02/2016)

"I keep wanting to say full erection." - Megan Wi (07/02/2016)

"It's Mexico city. Damn Mexicans." - Megan Wi (07/02/2016)

"Someone has to be a responsible adult tomorrow." - Megan Wi (07/02/2016)
for their dog interview

"You got any wood, Matt?" "No." "I'm sorry Megan." "It's alright." - Janny M & Matt Wi & Janny M & Megan Wi (07/02/2016)

"I'm too old." - Megan Wi (02/05/2016)
to plan her wedding

"Watch for the dude." "I see him." - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (02/05/2016)
megan driving

"Oh god. He's so bad." - Megan Wi (02/05/2016)
matt's backseat driving

"Aw. He say he kill her?" - Megan Wi (02/05/2016)
mimicing jade

"You got the duty." - Megan Wi (02/05/2016)

"You can put my nuts in your mouth." - Megan Wi (02/05/2016)
telling bri he can have some of her nuts

"Wow. I don't think I would have gotten on it." - Megan Wi (01/29/2016)

"Maybe it's some earrings..." - Megan Wi (01/29/2016)
why matt got a diamond tester

"That's not the whole story..." "Well I'm telling it!" - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (01/29/2016)

"Oh my God tell your story." - Megan Wi (01/29/2016)

"I think... maybe it's a little overkill but... it's shiny." - Megan Wi (01/29/2016)
her engagement ring

"I would not do well in prison." - Megan Wi (01/29/2016)

"Your car is a coffin." - Megan Wi (01/29/2016)
talking to matt

"No one sits in the back seat." "Yeah, you do." - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (01/29/2016)

"You need to relax, buddy. I'm on top of my s**t." - Megan Wi (01/29/2016)

"How low can they go?" "Pretty low. They were to their ankles." - Janny M & Megan Wi (01/29/2016)

"Do you need help?" - Megan Wi (10/22/2015)

"I got a tan. I'm not a white girl anymore." - Megan Wi (09/13/2015)
while on vacation

"Thanks... for rubbing it in." - Megan Wi (09/13/2015)

"I walked on there. I saw them and he missed them all." - Megan Wi (09/13/2015)
all the boobs on the topless beach

"I like when you cut it cause you cut it with love." - Megan Wi (09/13/2015)

"I backed up into a stick once, too." - Megan Wi (09/13/2015)

"It's crayfish, actually." - Megan Wi (06/14/2015)
what she looks like sunburned

"Yeah, that's happened before." - Megan Wi (06/14/2015)

"It's kinda skanky." - Megan Wi (06/14/2015)

"Be like, 'can I get a picture of your shirt?'" "My friend thinks you're skanky." - Janny M & Megan Wi (06/14/2015)
i wanted to get a quote picture to better explain this person of walmart

"Little sausage tent." - Megan Wi (06/14/2015)

"I was really embarrassed to put out my trash on Monday morning." - Megan Wi (06/14/2015)
we drank too much wine

"Well sorry I thought we already had eight bottles. I thought nine was too much." - Megan Wi (06/14/2015)
what we drank last weekend

"Are you sure you're not drunk?" - Megan Wi (06/14/2015)
matt

"They can't tell us to leave since we already bought s**t." - Megan Wi (06/14/2015)
we had a tailgate picnic in a parking lot

"It's doing it! It's doing it!" "That's what she said." - Megan Wi & Janny M (06/14/2015)

"That's the one we get at la Costco." - Megan Wi (06/06/2015)
wine

"We should probably cut back..." - Megan Wi (06/06/2015)
she and matt get so much wine

"I can't drink beer anymore. I fart too much." - Megan Wi (06/06/2015)

"Hey you want my number? Toot, toot." - Megan Wi (06/06/2015)
if she was at a bar drinking beer

"He was just uncircumcised and it was kinda scary." - Megan Wi (06/06/2015)

"Thank God she came down with shingles." - Megan Wi (06/06/2015)
lol how aweful

"No! I really like her..." - Megan Wi (06/06/2015)
her friend she wanted to skip happy hour

"We're gonna do this and we're gonna do that and we're gonna get some hats..." - Megan Wi (06/06/2015)

"I can't adult with you..." - Megan Wi (06/06/2015)

"I don't know how Megan meets all these swingers." "I know!" - Brian C & Megan Wi (06/06/2015)

"When she took off her shirt, I was like f**k this s**t." - Megan Wi (06/06/2015)

"And I'm asleep." "Yeah, he's passed out. He's the f**k over there." - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (06/06/2015)

"I got a crush on David!" - Megan Wi (06/06/2015)

"I think you're smart." - Megan Wi (06/06/2015)
me

"Can't you just open the wine?" - Megan Wi (06/06/2015)
before david got there, another bottle

"Can't you just screw the cork?" - Megan Wi (06/06/2015)

"I can't fold right now." - Megan Wi (06/06/2015)

"Anal beads are pretty expensive." - Megan Wi (06/06/2015)
wouldn't know

"That's not fair! You're Latino." - Megan Wi (06/06/2015)
david

"We're like 'ew beltway'." - Megan Wi (04/18/2015)

"I just pooped. I'm so happy." - Megan Wi (04/18/2015)

"How is he gonna be friendly when he's quarantined?" - Megan Wi (02/06/2015)
size_t

"We were working as a team. He read my mind." - Megan Wi (02/06/2015)
megan & bri were playing as one in the walking dead game

"I'm eating food." - Megan Wi (02/06/2015)

"You died of food poisoning." - Megan Wi (02/06/2015)

"Mine is a penis hatching out of an egg." - Megan Wi (02/06/2015)

"He's very anal... Speaking of anal..." - Megan Wi (02/06/2015)

"...An anti semetic boob job?" - Megan Wi (02/06/2015)
she read the card wrong

"What are you?" "Like white wise?" - Megan Wi & David Ga (02/06/2015)
lol

"I can see you frolicking." - Megan Wi (02/06/2015)
matt

"Yeah, I'd put him down." - Megan Wi (02/06/2015)
our cat, size_t, who has diabetes :(

"Sex goblins are kinda cool." - Megan Wi (02/06/2015)

"Hershey highway." - Megan Wi (02/06/2015)

"Hahaha. You're dirty!" - Megan Wi (02/06/2015)

"Then we'd be black faced." - Megan Wi (11/03/2014)
what her & matt wanted to dress up as for halloween

"He does owe me some gifts. He can't use the house anymore." - Megan Wi (11/03/2014)
for a while matt was using the house as a gift for anniversary, birthday, etc

"Have you felt your testes lately?" - Megan Wi (11/03/2014)

"Is this Michael Jackson's new song?" - Megan Wi (11/03/2014)

"There's not enough sex!" - Megan Wi (11/03/2014)

"Oh please, come out smooth." - Megan Wi (09/26/2014)
she prays on the toilet

"That's what happens because you cheated." - Megan Wi (09/26/2014)
matt had bad karma

"You haven't been funny." "What?" - Janny M & Megan Wi (09/26/2014)

"The dead prostitute wants the fifties." - Megan Wi (09/26/2014)
teasing me about what i want to be for halloween

"If you want a more private experience you can go to the bedroom." - Megan Wi (09/26/2014)

"I'd so be like, 'listen bitches'." - Megan Wi (09/24/2014)

"You have to go through Blue Balls to get to Intercourse." - Megan Wi (09/24/2014)
notice how they're capitalized... they're cities in PA

"Yep. I got that. I'll just wait until you move... mhmmm." - Megan Wi (09/24/2014)

"Not feeling so hot, are ya?" - Megan Wi (09/24/2014)

"Let me see how much my pirate can move... Yummy!" - Megan Wi (09/24/2014)

"I'm about to f**k your world up." - Megan Wi (09/24/2014)

"I'm gonna f**k your world up." - Megan Wi (09/24/2014)

"I have to manscape." - Megan Wi (09/10/2014)

"When I weigh in, I'm stripping." - Megan Wi (09/09/2014)
for her weight loss challenge at work

"Janis gave me crabs." - Megan Wi (08/25/2014)
we had left over crabs

"He probably felt to see which color it was." - Megan Wi (08/20/2014)
brian picked his own color randomly

"I don't remember playing that way." - Megan Wi (08/20/2014)
her and matt were bickering about the rules

"If you drink it fast it's cold." - Megan Wi (08/20/2014)
giving matt a beer he just put in the frige like an hour ago

"Here are some of the things you can offer as a bribe..." "Sex?" - Megan Wi & Janny M (08/20/2014)

"Thank you, captain obvious." - Megan Wi (08/20/2014)

"Just put it in!" "That's what she said." - Megan Wi & Janny M (08/03/2014)

"What? No! Not an abortion!" - Megan Wi (07/30/2014)

"He has a very large... practice." "I thought you were going to say another P word." - Brian C & Megan Wi (07/30/2014)

"Kill me cause I'm just gonna get them back anyway." - Megan Wi (07/30/2014)
damn elves

"Oh, you got four points. Go you!" - Megan Wi (07/30/2014)

"I do not miss that warm plastic bag in my hand." - Megan Wi (07/30/2014)
cleaning up after her dog

"I can read... if people still do that." - Megan Wi (07/28/2014)

"They're coming out with a shark sub." "That would be delicious." - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (07/19/2014)

"No everybody is bigger than that." "That's what she said." - Megan Wi & Janny M (07/19/2014)

"Five second rule. There's no bird poop there." - Megan Wi (07/19/2014)

"Let's go cow tipping!" - Megan Wi (07/19/2014)
in the po dunk down

"I'll try to stop." - Megan Wi (07/17/2014)
keyword try

"I don't even want to have sex with myself sometimes." - Megan Wi (07/17/2014)

"Matthew, I swear..." - Megan Wi (07/17/2014)
matt was squirting her with wiki's water

"It's much better up the butt." "That's what she said." - Megan Wi & Brian C (07/17/2014)

"I have poop shoes." - Megan Wi (07/17/2014)

"Everyone who comes to the first floor they come to poop." - Megan Wi (07/17/2014)

"No. Saints are black and gold!" - Megan Wi (06/24/2014)

"If it's not clean, I'm putting it away anyway." "Eww!" - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (06/24/2014)
he emptied the dishwasher

"All my coworkers, the black people..." - Megan Wi (06/24/2014)

"It's like I can't wait to wear this in public." - Megan Wi (06/24/2014)
her new shirt about crawfish

"Are you reading the Bible?" - Megan Wi (06/24/2014)

"Did you grow up under a rock?" - Megan Wi (06/24/2014)

"But it's too small." "That's what she said." - Megan Wi & Janny M (06/21/2014)
matt's lighter for his grill... it's actually pretty big

"Ah! Right in the baby!" - Megan Wi (06/21/2014)
brian hit megan in the stomach with a frizbee

"I just wanted to make it clear that I will not be naked." - Megan Wi (06/11/2014)
at her house warming party

"I'm using my inside voice cause you guys are here." - Megan Wi (06/11/2014)
arguing with matt

"I don't think I'm in the right mind set to win..." - Megan Wi (06/11/2014)
she had a few... but she won in the end!

"I'm gonna do the white ladies." - Megan Wi (06/11/2014)

"Thank you. Hello. Convert this one, please." - Megan Wi (06/11/2014)
her sourceror converted some

"I'm like whatev." - Megan Wi (06/11/2014)

"I'm pretty adventurous when it comes to eating s**t." - Megan Wi (05/26/2014)

"I think I'm an alcoholic." - Megan Wi (05/03/2014)
she has a brewery app that finds local brewery's

"Of course I like that six point five percent one." - Megan Wi (05/03/2014)
the beer that they had that was the most alcoholic

"I believe you but I'll look it up." - Megan Wi (04/16/2014)
if she can put a glass container in the oven

"Yeah, they're cute in a zoo." - Megan Wi (04/16/2014)
racoons

"It's bread!" - Megan Wi (04/16/2014)
she used hotdog rolls for our bread with speghetti

"So I need to be smart." - Megan Wi (04/16/2014)

"It'll burn off." - Megan Wi (03/21/2014)
brian touching the meat

"What was creepy about creepy Dave? Was he creepy?" - Megan Wi (03/21/2014)

"That's a food of tubular sort." "What?" - Paul H & Megan Wi (03/21/2014)

"I don't want to talk to anybody. I'm good." - Megan Wi (03/21/2014)

"Uh. Kinky." - Megan Wi (03/21/2014)

"I love banging everybody." - Megan Wi (03/21/2014)
in the bang game

"You can't see my halo cause it's a little rusty." - Megan Wi (03/21/2014)

"People want to have sex with me so that's awesome." - Megan Wi (03/21/2014)

"Nobody at this table wants to give you wood." - Megan Wi (03/21/2014)

"That sounds baaaaad." - Megan Wi (03/21/2014)
trading sheep; paul had all the sheep

"Oh yeah, it's been happening." - Megan Wi (03/21/2014)

"Wait. We can make these kinds of transactions?" - Megan Wi (03/21/2014)

"You've never been to a big boob waffle toss?" - Megan Wi (03/21/2014)

"That wasn't meant to be a penis." - Megan Wi (03/21/2014)

"There's probably other things I could be doing except texting!" - Megan Wi (03/08/2014)
at her job

"It was like an orgasm in your mouth." - Megan Wi (03/08/2014)
reese smore

"No that was my gay Korean accent." - Megan Wi (03/08/2014)

"I don't wanna look like a heifer." - Megan Wi (03/04/2014)
eating the ice cream

"I hope you gain five pounds from that little scoop." - Megan Wi (03/04/2014)
matt wouldn't give her the last scoop of ice cream

"All she said was 'oh'..." - Megan Wi (03/04/2014)

"We went to a wine festival and I got cut off." - Megan Wi (03/04/2014)
by the wine people

"That was impressive. Maybe Betty will have a cousin soon." - Megan Wi (03/04/2014)
betty is their new niece

"No. You have to make it fancy." - Megan Wi (03/04/2014)
the mint julip

"Can I just make the mint jullips, please?" - Megan Wi (03/04/2014)
matt was taking over

"Woo! We have crushed ice!" - Megan Wi (03/04/2014)
they didn't in their appartment

"Fake is true. It happened in a movie." - Megan Wi (03/04/2014)

"My mom's not gonna walk around naked anymore." - Megan Wi (03/04/2014)

"I'm on my second one." "Your second douche?" - Megan Wi & Matt Wi (03/04/2014)

"I'm shoveling. I'm doing the hard work." - Megan Wi (02/16/2014)
trying to get the car out

"The guy was like, 'Why is she pushing?'" - Megan Wi (02/16/2014)
matt had megan pushing the car

"I was about to say parish." - Megan Wi (02/16/2014)
in new orleans, there's parishes, not counties

"I'm like, just eat it. You eat crawfish, just eat it." - Megan Wi (02/16/2014)
her parents

"I'm glad I left." - Megan Wi (02/16/2014)
new orleans

"When you got the free drinks?" "That was different. You weren't around." - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (02/16/2014)

"That one's peeing. Oh so cute." - Megan Wi (02/02/2014)
puppy bowl

"Aww. It's penguins!" - Megan Wi (02/02/2014)

"He was like, 'come on, do shots with me.' And I'm like 'okay.'" - Megan Wi (02/02/2014)

"I'm sorry, Matt. I want to have James Franco's baby." - Megan Wi (02/02/2014)

"It has a lot of head." "That's what she said." - Megan Wi & Janny M (02/02/2014)

"Down with the pants!" - Megan Wi (02/02/2014)

"Trombone Shorty can kick it!" - Megan Wi (02/02/2014)

"This is terrible. There's still another quarter left..." - Megan Wi (02/02/2014)

"I got her drunk. She's fine now." - Megan Wi (02/02/2014)

"That's for their freaky times..." - Megan Wi (01/19/2014)

"Until I dated Matt, I didn't realize how clean I was." - Megan Wi (01/19/2014)

"I told my friends you were lucky we weren't naked." - Megan Wi (01/05/2014)

"Bob is not the brightest crayon in the box." - Megan Wi (01/05/2014)

"What are the refs doing like... Oh... he's cute." - Megan Wi (01/05/2014)
she stopped mid sentence

"If it's an onion ring, it's going down." - Megan Wi (12/20/2013)
her engagement ring

"Okay, you must be beautiful or something." - Megan Wi (12/20/2013)

"He's a man cause he has a penis." - Megan Wi (12/20/2013)

"How do you end a snowball fight with a penis?" - Megan Wi (12/20/2013)

"That's where truck b***hes sit." - Megan Wi (12/20/2013)

"What about the pink one?" - Megan Wi (12/16/2013)
she really liked the pink tie one guy was wearing

"Nepolian was a faker, too." - Megan Wi (12/16/2013)
sharing stories about our dogs

"You know, cause your feed get tired..." - Megan Wi (12/15/2013)

"I had balls." - Megan Wi (12/15/2013)

"Wow what are we gonna do with these fifteen apples?" "Uh, eat them as apple pie." - Megan Wi & Matt Wi (12/15/2013)

"Is he dead? Did he die?" - Megan Wi (12/15/2013)

"I thought it was an hour per pound..." - Megan Wi (12/14/2013)
so a 24 pound turkey would take 24 hours to cook?

"What did you think you were a guest?" - Megan Wi (12/14/2013)
putting her friend to work

"I can't read my own hand writing." - Megan Wi (12/14/2013)

"That's like a bedroom sized fun dip." - Megan Wi (12/14/2013)

"When did I start hanging out with alcoholics?" - Megan Wi (12/14/2013)
the booze in the white elephant went fast & kept getting stolen

"Did you need the battery?" - Megan Wi (12/14/2013)
why wilson gave the clock

"I'm gonna fog it." "What a horrible idea." - Megan Wi & Matt Wi (12/14/2013)
before their christmas tree comes in their house

"I'm not talking about Spanish people." - Megan Wi (12/14/2013)

"I don't know if you were trying to draw attention to yourself." - Megan Wi (12/01/2013)

"I don't like anything that's heart shaped... it's so fake." - Megan Wi (12/01/2013)

"It works fine. It's great. It's my favorite one." - Megan Wi (12/01/2013)
matt fixed something very personal to her

"I saw the bell. I'm good." - Megan Wi (12/01/2013)
no more going to philly for her

"He is so good looking. Matt, you better pay attention." - Megan Wi (12/01/2013)

"You don't believe in making cookies either." - Megan Wi (12/01/2013)
matt

"Well I do work with some cute guys..." - Megan Wi (11/18/2013)

"My mom acts like a black woman sometimes." - Megan Wi (11/18/2013)

"What was your streak?" "I was doing well." - Brian C & Megan Wi (11/18/2013)

"He wouldn't give me a high five so I gave him one." - Megan Wi (11/18/2013)
he gave a high 5 to his butt

"Oh, while bowling? I thought you meant while pouring beer... I was like ,'How does this help?'" - Megan Wi (11/18/2013)
bri giving her bowling tips while she was pouring beer

"Sorry, that was a little southern." - Megan Wi (11/18/2013)
her accent comes out every once in a while

"That was really heavy." - Megan Wi (11/18/2013)
trying to bowl with a man ball 16 pounder

"You could take his road and get an instant two points." - Megan Wi (11/12/2013)
trying to get someone to complete her building

"Yeah, let's pack this up. This is some crap." - Megan Wi (11/12/2013)
a game that would take too long for a school night

"He was twenty one. I still got it!" - Megan Wi (11/12/2013)
megan getting hit on by a 21 year old

"Oh the things you will learn about me..." - Megan Wi (11/12/2013)
cah

"If you want me to have your babies and cook for you..." - Megan Wi (11/12/2013)

"No. You can go there. I'm just upset." - Megan Wi (11/02/2013)

"I don't wanna hear it." - Megan Wi (11/02/2013)
i think matt stole her spot or was cheating

"I don't have to beat him, I just get a treasure. Isn't that awesome?" - Megan Wi (11/02/2013)

"Are you black or yellow?" "Uh, is that a racial question?" - Matt Wi & Megan Wi (10/29/2013)

"They were starting to, you know, construct things." - Megan Wi (10/29/2013)

"Why are you cheating so much?" - Megan Wi (10/29/2013)

"But they're blue, not red." - Megan Wi (10/18/2013)
the smurfs were communists

"But Papa Smurf was blue..." - Megan Wi (10/18/2013)

"How would you even fit in a smart car?" - Megan Wi (10/18/2013)
her fiance is tall

"That's Smoo... I don't know his name." - Megan Wi (10/18/2013)

"Southern people don't ski." - Megan Wi (10/18/2013)

"Once you go black, you don't go back." - Megan Wi (10/18/2013)
burnt hot dogs

"How about none?" "Yeah!" - Megan Wi & Matt Wi (10/18/2013)

"You put the key in a vagina hole..." - Megan Wi (10/18/2013)
after a few drinks?

"You mean Romania?" - Megan Wi (10/18/2013)

"You really forget we have these moats." - Megan Wi (10/09/2013)

"I will trade you. Trade with me!" - Megan Wi (10/09/2013)

"That's upsetting me." - Megan Wi (10/09/2013)

"Yeah, I would eat the whole thing." - Megan Wi (10/06/2013)
a 50 pound hershey kiss

"Oh my God, I have a booby ring." - Megan Wi (10/06/2013)