Uncle George's Quotes
Uncle George has made 598 quotes!
"No. You won't ask. You're talking about dumb s**t." - Uncle George (11/27/2024)
"Why did I buy that thing?" "Cause it was funny." "Yeah, that's a great reason." - Uncle George & Kim Mo (11/26/2024)
"I've said I've been in bar fights and ended up not this bad." - Uncle George (09/13/2023)
when kim sleeps
"We can go wherever you want. The car has a steering wheel." - Uncle George (09/12/2023)
"Well he didn't want to have sex with me." - Uncle George (09/12/2023)
charlie daniels story that kim told
"So I'm gonna bring my bass guitar when I come to Portugal..." "You don't have a bass guitar!" - Uncle George & Kim Mo (09/12/2023)
"I always think about Breaking Bad." "I always think it sucks." - Janny M & Uncle George (09/12/2023)
horse with no name song
"You just love the chicken tenders. Stop lying." - Uncle George (09/11/2023)
"What are you doing? You're over there and I'm over here. Butting into my conversation. Stay over there." - Uncle George (06/27/2023)
talking to uncle george on the phone, kim was butting in :)
"I can't believe these people survived this long." - Uncle George (06/12/2023)
in north carolina the process for vehicle registration is ridiculous
"She was like, 'I can't feel my hand.' Well, I can!" - Uncle George (06/12/2023)
the last time he was on a plane he held kim's hand too tight
"What a waste of money that was." - Uncle George (06/12/2023)
he got drunk before his flight but was so nervous he sobered up
"It scared me at first." - Uncle George (10/19/2022)
kim brought in a plant and it casted a scary shaddow
"It's a chuckle... Especially at three o'clock in the morning." - Uncle George (10/19/2022)
the plant kim brought in
"Hahahahaha." "That's what I thought. I got your back, Brian." - Janny M & Uncle George (10/19/2022)
why bri was drinking cause i was
"I'm not taking a gerbil." - Uncle George (10/18/2022)
uncle george says no more pets
"I don't want hugs. I want cash." - Uncle George (10/18/2022)
talking to the waitress
"I ain't going down there. Ain't no way." - Uncle George (10/18/2022)
the well in the ring
"...And the top is Antarctica Where did you go to school at?" - Uncle George (10/17/2022)
kim didn't know
"Ah, s**t." - Uncle George (10/17/2022)
kim called when we were out driving
"I saw some stupid s**t..." - Uncle George (10/17/2022)
engineering mistakes
"I don't want to bury another dog tonight, Brian." - Uncle George (10/17/2022)
"He's a snake... I don't know. I don't ask for ID." - Uncle George (10/17/2022)
"I was telling George, I wish I was a witch." "You are." - Kim Mo & Uncle George (05/30/2022)
"Haven't you tasted your own blood before?" "Sure. I mean I don't make a cocktail out of it." - Kim Mo & Uncle George (05/30/2022)
"He's just trying to look yuppy, that's all." - Uncle George (05/01/2022)
andrew put on a sweater
"Now she's strippin. Don't get your dollars out yet." - Uncle George (05/01/2022)
a woman was talking off her jacket to put on something else more warm
"Yeah. Looks great. She got that under control... Drug him across the house..." - Uncle George (04/30/2022)
patrick's dog didn't want to go with kim
"I don't even want a fish." - Uncle George (04/30/2022)
they have too many animals
"They only thing I don't have is a bird." - Uncle George (04/30/2022)
we know what to get him for christmas now
"They're going all the way all right." - Uncle George (03/19/2022)
baylor lost
"Thirty five dollars a galloon for paint. Jeez. I didn't want the painter to come with it." - Uncle George (03/19/2022)
"It's not my idea to move." - Uncle George (03/19/2022)
"I'm so sick of funerals. I don't even wanna go to my own." - Uncle George (03/19/2022)
"My dick was getting hard." - Uncle George (03/19/2022)
a house he saw with a 24 car garage
"I'll even give you a doggie bag." - Uncle George (01/23/2022)
if a bird took grizzly away
"He doesn't get it from me." "We know that." - Kim Mo & Uncle George (01/23/2022)
patrick's metabolism
"I feel sorry for Brian." - Uncle George (01/23/2022)
stuck on the phone with kim
"Just imagine what people are going to say at your eulogy." "They can't cause you won't let them." - Kim Mo & Uncle George (01/23/2022)
she'll keep talking
"And I was like, 'George?'" "Yeah?" "'George.'" "What?" - Kim Mo & Uncle George (01/23/2022)
she was telling a story & uncle george was outside & not realizing she wasn't calling him
"The guy that sells insurance." "Geico?" - Uncle George & Janny M (01/23/2022)
"I got a thank you card in there for the person who steals it." - Uncle George (01/22/2022)
who steals his truck
"I don't know what you got? You got a loaded Windex bottle!" - Uncle George (01/22/2022)
"So when are you going to take the Christmas stuff down?" "I wish it was yesterday. It feels like I'm in a Hallmark movie." - Janny M & Uncle George (01/22/2022)
"Stop your crying you little b***h." It's a f**king motorcycle." - Uncle George (08/08/2021)
tv show where shop painted dude and his dad on his bike
"Nice horsey. That's it." - Uncle George (08/08/2021)
all he knows about horses is petting them
"I could drink gasoline and not get a hang over." - Uncle George (08/07/2021)
"I buy something then after everything goes to s**t!" - Uncle George (08/07/2021)
"Three days and she says we don't got no food. It's the same song." - Uncle George (08/07/2021)
kim gives her food away
"I'm gonna touch you tonight." - Uncle George (08/07/2021)
"Let me enlighten you..." - Uncle George (07/10/2021)
with starter fluid!
"Hey, why don't you get a room?" - Uncle George (07/10/2021)
colin rubbing a dog
"Mother f**kers s**tting on a car..." - Uncle George (07/03/2021)
when a bird goes into his garage
"They sing and s**t." - Uncle George (07/03/2021)
"I'd hate to see you get flown away by an eagle or something." - Uncle George (07/03/2021)
grizzly
"It's too f**king wet." "That's what she said." "Oh, stop." - Uncle George & Janny M (07/03/2021)
the fireworks
"It's like London fog in here." - Uncle George (07/03/2021)
the smoke in the garage from the fireworks
"This isn't sexual." "It would be if you don't stop." - Janny M & Uncle George (07/03/2021)
oil filter whip
"She don't use it but it's brand new." - Uncle George (06/20/2021)
talked to uncle george on the phone; kim's vaccum
"I hope we're not using this to rob banks or else we ain't gonna do so well." - Uncle George (05/30/2021)
truck kept stalling
"Let me go again before I was rudely interrupted." - Uncle George (05/30/2021)
"Those mother f**kers flock to me... Look! Look!" - Uncle George (05/30/2021)
misquitoes but also his dogs
"You all f**ked on this one... ba ba ba!" - Uncle George (05/30/2021)
singing sweet caroline at the end
"She had that place crackin'." - Uncle George (05/30/2021)
aunt janet
"He's just tasting me for later." - Uncle George (03/20/2020)
cheetah
"I got some more holes in me..." - Uncle George (03/20/2020)
from cheetah
"Oh God but the dogs don't attack me." - Uncle George (03/20/2020)
cheetah (the cat) attacks uncle george but the dogs don't
"If I would have known that, I would have brought a weed wacker." - Uncle George (12/25/2019)
he saw our family's graves that were overgrown
"I was in my underwear and a T shirt." - Uncle George (12/25/2019)
outside in 60 degree weather
"Well let me tell you, a big head doesn't mean they have a small brain." - Uncle George (12/25/2019)
horses
"That's gonna look like s**t." - Uncle George (12/25/2019)
"No one wants to smell your s**t." - Uncle George (08/24/2019)
"I don't know. It ain't my f**king property." - Uncle George (08/24/2019)
patrick's new place
"So you know that story?" "I bought the bike." - Janny M & Uncle George (08/24/2019)
pop pop dropping his bike & littleton helping
"I gotta take the dog to therapy." - Uncle George (08/24/2019)
cheetah tortures grizzly
"I was thinking about stealing a sign. That would have been cool." - Uncle George (08/24/2019)
"Can we talk about something else?" "We weren't talking to you." - Uncle George & Kim Mo (05/18/2019)
uncle george's health
"See, if you lived over here, you could take me to the gym with you." "Wouldn't that be a bonus?" - Kim Mo & Uncle George (05/18/2019)
"I'm on somebody's purse." "It's mine." - Janny M & Uncle George (05/18/2019)
lol; he doesn't miss a beat
"That's very nice of you... That's not why we invited you." - Uncle George (05/18/2019)
becky got their dinner
"Old Mexican taught me that. Damn if it don't work." - Uncle George (04/28/2019)
lime juice in spackle
"In ten years I couldn't teach Kim to ring a bell to go outside." - Uncle George (04/28/2019)
you can teach a pig to ring a bell to go outside in 10 minutes
"Cute. I don't think I'd wear it but..." - Uncle George (04/28/2019)
the 'i'm not gay but $20 is $20' shirt
"So you left me to take the rap for you? F**king drunk." - Uncle George (03/24/2019)
what ronney would do
"How'd it go from this to this, now I gotta whip your ass?" - Uncle George (03/24/2019)
defending my dad
"You ignorant f**k. You attached to the other one, too?" - Uncle George (02/09/2019)
fixing the truck seat
"Yeah, I was supposed to be a rock star, too." - Uncle George (01/27/2019)
"Maybe she had too much to drink that night but if she tells me again, it's gonna be a couch!" - Uncle George (01/27/2019)
my sister's car
"Yes, lucky me." - Uncle George (12/29/2018)
he has monday off so he can spend time with kim
"You wanted all three of them at one point." "I was drinking." - Janny M & Uncle George (12/29/2018)
the kittens
"That was a tough decision." - Uncle George (12/29/2018)
trade in the buick for the bmw
"Everything was green. I'm like, what the f**k is a leprechaun drive this s**t?" - Uncle George (12/29/2018)
"Yeah, ants built it." - Uncle George (12/29/2018)
mount rushmore is small
"Where did Patrick go? To Afghanistan to get oil?" - Uncle George (12/29/2018)
he walked in like a minute later
"Do you want something wet in your car?" "That's what she said." - Uncle George & Janny M (12/14/2018)
"They're all stories. They're all stories but they're true. That's how f**ked up my life has been." - Uncle George (09/29/2018)
"Now we got sexual goats..." - Uncle George (09/29/2018)
wtf?
"She'll probably live and be a little b***h." - Uncle George (09/08/2018)
how long grizzly will live
"You'll be tripping out in a half hour..." - Uncle George (07/28/2018)
they found some weird stuff in a car they were working on
"Somebody ate something." "Yeah, that's why the ain't here no more." - Tate K & Uncle George (07/28/2018)
"I don't think he s**ts until he comes over here." - Uncle George (07/28/2018)
tate
"You've been turning it off for fifteen years." - Uncle George (07/28/2018)
"You didn't paint your walls." "Yeah, that's why." - Janny M & Uncle George (07/28/2018)
uncle george was saying kim takes the paint off walls when she sings
"Just let me die. Don't even try to save me." - Uncle George (05/18/2018)
"It's gonna have a hard time getting into this bottle." - Uncle George (05/18/2018)
the toy shark that we moved around people's glasses
"There's a lot of germs in a mustache." - Uncle George (05/18/2018)
"Everybody's got allergies." - Uncle George (05/18/2018)
"It's probably iced up." - Uncle George (05/18/2018)
beer
"Better than sitting in Ridgely... Wow, look at that corn grow." - Uncle George (05/18/2018)
the weather was crappy so we drank
"Blame it on the pineapple." - Uncle George (05/18/2018)
"Upstanding citizen until I met this scum." - Uncle George (05/18/2018)
"Do not... You understand that part?" - Uncle George (05/18/2018)
"She's gonna make a makeshift bra." "I gotta see this." - Janny M & Uncle George (05/18/2018)
from the eye patches
"Then you'll be normal Uncle George?" "I've never been normal." - Janny M & Uncle George (03/24/2018)
"And I'm like this when I'm drinking... yack, yack, yack..." "You're like that now!" - Kim Mo & Uncle George (03/24/2018)
"A house of sin turned into a house of God." - Uncle George (03/24/2018)
dad's old house
"It looked like an Ocean City wave..." - Uncle George (02/25/2018)
they went by and moved stone around their road
"I don't even know how I got here..." - Uncle George (02/25/2018)
funny story with him and his coworker got questioned by police
"Do I have to?" - Uncle George (02/25/2018)
kiss kim
"I got other guns." - Uncle George (02/25/2018)
his dogs were bad
"How many cars have you totaled?" "Ugh." - Uncle George & Ryan Mo (02/25/2018)
"Hold on, mister barbecue." - Uncle George (12/24/2017)
talking to bri, who got a barbecue set for christmas
"I'm gonna stop and get my coffee..." - Uncle George (12/24/2017)
if we ever need him to tow us in the middle of the night
"Balls bigger than a Cadillac." - Uncle George (12/24/2017)
"You know that album, 'Dark Side of the Moon?' They got that from the other side of her a*s." - Uncle George (12/24/2017)
"Of course the three hour tour she has me on..." - Uncle George (11/25/2017)
kim going to walmart
"He'd probably help carry it out." - Uncle George (11/17/2017)
wiki; if someone were to raid our house he'd help carry the couch out
"Det det det, sounds like to me that she's done..." - Uncle George (11/17/2017)
if bri's car goes, he'll give it to uncle george
"Damn... older model, too." - Uncle George (11/17/2017)
woman walking down the street
"A penny's not gonna derail a train..." - Uncle George (11/17/2017)
"Are you gonna paint it?" "No... I'll do that in the spring." - Uncle George (11/17/2017)
bri's car
"She knew what she wanted and left all the trash." - Uncle George (09/03/2017)
"It's fun to get f**ked." - Uncle George (09/03/2017)
oka
"What are you taking it apart for?" "Cause I can." - Janny M & Uncle George (06/18/2017)
his motorcycle
"Well that's unfortunate..." - Uncle George (06/18/2017)
mom having to get up at 7:30am
"They had a gourmet meal... eleven hundred dollars went by." - Uncle George (06/18/2017)
someone bought $1,100 worth of fish that birds ate
"Where are the plows? I see no one... I saw a reindeer a while back..." - Uncle George (06/18/2017)
a story of his concrete days
"Now there's seven inches of snow... Where are the plows?" - Uncle George (06/18/2017)
"I don't give a f**k if the pope needs concrete; he ain't getting it from me." - Uncle George (06/18/2017)
"I wake up in the morning and say man I wish I had more stuff." - Uncle George (06/18/2017)
"I'll give him an A for creativity." - Uncle George (05/20/2017) (pic)
car that they made into a truck bed
"I should dress up one year." "Yeah. Okay." - Janny M & Uncle George (05/19/2017) (pic)
t-rex costume!
"I like Ford Rangers. They're nice little trucks." - Uncle George (05/19/2017)
all we saw was trucks
"Don't I have her for this?" - Uncle George (05/18/2017)
kim, getting a beer
"No it's cousin tick." - Uncle George (05/18/2017)
a girl with really long hair looked like cousin it
"Well if you move the hair out of the way..." - Uncle George (05/18/2017)
"And I wasn't drinkin..." - Uncle George (02/19/2017)
he waved his beer in the air
"It's not funny." - Uncle George (02/19/2017)
his mom sleeping in his bed
"Don't spend no money on me." - Uncle George (02/19/2017)
"Twenty four hundred dollars can buy you a lot of beer." - Uncle George (02/19/2017)
he doesn't want a funeral... just people to drink
"He had dead bodies in his backyard. No wonder he was fired." - Uncle George (02/19/2017)
bri's professor from grad school
"God damn drunks." - Uncle George (02/19/2017) (pic)
his dogs
"No wonder I can't get drunk around here." - Uncle George (02/19/2017)
the dogs
"She was sixty one... well preserved..." - Uncle George (02/19/2017)
lol
"Why do you have a watch?" "...Alright..." - Janny M & Uncle George (02/19/2017)
"Nobody's biting nobody." - Uncle George (02/19/2017)
"Last time he had me out in a tent with the spiders... Me and the spider didn't get along too well." - Uncle George (12/24/2016)
george p has people camp when they spend the night
"What do you want a coffin for?" - Uncle George (12/24/2016)
"It's alright, turncoat." - Uncle George (12/24/2016)
bri
"It's too early for me." "Says the main who has a Christmas tree up." - Uncle George & Janny M (11/26/2016)
too early for christmas
"That's what you have a C D player for." - Uncle George (11/26/2016)
electric cars make no noise
"No you're not. You're ease dropping on me." - Uncle George (11/26/2016)
i was laughing at him talking about stuff
"I love stuff!" - Uncle George (11/26/2016)
"I don't even wanna go to my own." - Uncle George (11/26/2016)
funeral
"No I wanna savor the moment." - Uncle George (11/26/2016) (pic)
kim whip creamed him
"I thought Rockville was high dollar." "It is." "Then why are the roads f**ked up?" "Cause it's Rockville." - Tate K & Uncle George (11/26/2016)
"It might excite Kim but it's not exciting me." - Uncle George (11/12/2016)
his vibrating leg
"S**t. The goat's blue." - Uncle George (10/08/2016)
when the mountains are blue the beer is cold
"It looks stupid." "Yes it does." - Janny M & Uncle George (10/08/2016)
big tires on a bicycle
"It doesn't go wo wo. It just goes wo." - Uncle George (10/08/2016)
the ferarri
"Never go to a doctor named after a shoe." - Uncle George (10/08/2016)
"Let's cut the Ferrari and put a Volkswagon top." - Uncle George (10/07/2016)
"Got a lean to her, hause." - Uncle George (10/07/2016)
a car that was low & had a lean
"Ever heard of Jenny Creig?" - Uncle George (10/07/2016)
car was really low & had a lean
"I own this parking lot." - Uncle George (10/07/2016)
seagull just strutting around
"That took a lot of thought with that." - Uncle George (09/17/2016)
my nickname in college; hg for hat girl
"It'll make you wear pink panties." - Uncle George (09/17/2016)
"That's like G P S." - Uncle George (08/20/2016)
wedding ring
"You weren't the only one but you did a number on it." - Uncle George (07/03/2016)
when bri hit his cable box
"Yeah, distractions..." - Uncle George (07/03/2016)
bri said he was distracted when he hit the cable box
"I got Black Sabbath." - Uncle George (07/03/2016)
song to blast around the neighborhood
"There was this guy with a snake on the hood..." - Uncle George (05/21/2016)
why you don't want a car that sticks out
"I couldn't win the lottery if I had the only ticket." - Uncle George (05/21/2016)
"We didn't go to any tolls. We couldn't fit." - Uncle George (05/21/2016)
"Shelby's your dog, Bella's your dog, Grizzly's James' dog... Can I have a pet?" - Uncle George (05/21/2016)
him and i both want a pig!
"Slow down." - Uncle George (05/20/2016)
talking to two girls on bikes
"Well when you're small... Now it would be called a lap dance." - Uncle George (05/20/2016)
when i used to bounce on uncle george's knee when i was a kid
"You know he had cake." - Uncle George (04/03/2016)
"I'm selling that window. See the for sale sign?" - Uncle George (04/03/2016)
there was a for sale sign in his window
"We had this tent that looked like we were doing fortune telling." - Uncle George (04/03/2016)
"Thanks, Trace. You know, winter is coming." - Uncle George (12/26/2015)
"You would have know if I got to second base. It wouldn't be a drive by." - Uncle George (12/26/2015)
"He's got the spirit." - Uncle George (12/26/2015)
"What's his name?" "Mothy." - Janny M & Uncle George (12/12/2015)
his pet moth
"Looked like he never ate!" - Uncle George (12/12/2015)
"I even took a shower for you." - Uncle George (12/12/2015)
he wanted a hug from a neighbor
"That Nova? I wouldn't even make that a garbage truck." - Uncle George (12/12/2015)
"They must have shock proofed the concrete." - Uncle George (10/10/2015)
again talking about fat people
"So why'd you choose it?" "I was stupid." - Janny M & Uncle George (10/10/2015)
his rambler which he's selling
"Couple of whales are in the ocean." - Uncle George (10/09/2015)
uncle george was commenting on fat people
"If I had an a*s like that I'd have a license plate." - Uncle George (10/09/2015)
"Air conditioner don't blow; gotta get rid of this thing." - Uncle George (10/09/2015)
he was talking about women
"Are these beds made for dwarfs?" - Uncle George (10/09/2015)
his legs hung off the bed
"Is the circus coming to town?" - Uncle George (10/09/2015)
tiny beds
"They only have one bed size... dwarf." - Uncle George (10/09/2015)
"Skippy!" - Uncle George (10/09/2015)
"There goes that clutch." - Uncle George (10/09/2015)
the way stacy was driving her car
"Montgomery... You know? Our last name?" - Uncle George (10/03/2015)
"I don't think he could get it up fast enough." - Uncle George (10/03/2015)
the old dude who pulled out in front of them giving them the finger
"I see how it is, Benedict Arnold." - Uncle George (09/06/2015)
"I'm secure in my manhood." - Uncle George (09/06/2015)
wearing a hawaii shirt
"I wouldn't let my dogs in there." - Uncle George (09/06/2015)
john's trailer in the back
"I gotta take what I can get." - Uncle George (09/06/2015)
"I honestly thought never some f**king woman would throw some f**king beer at me behind a car." - Uncle George (09/06/2015)
we are laughing about it now but it's still not funny
"I remember the mailbox used to get taken out every once in a while." - Uncle George (08/23/2015)
the mailbox at the bottom of dad's driveway
"Come on, George, we gotta put another mailbox down there..." - Uncle George (08/23/2015)
what my dad would say when the mailbox was taken out
"Hey, anchors away!" - Uncle George (08/23/2015)
uncle george's anchor story
"Those aren't fake boobs either." - Uncle George (08/23/2015)
"You know who drive past?" "Elvis?" - Kim Mo & Uncle George (08/23/2015)
who drove past their driveway
"What are you exporting my flies?" - Uncle George (05/30/2015)
"I'm starting to feel home sick. Where are all my flies?" - Uncle George (05/30/2015)
we were at a beach with no flies
"They're gonna think something's wrong with that man." "They already think that." - Uncle George & Janny M (05/30/2015)
his quotes
"I can't ride a tsunami." - Uncle George (05/30/2015)
a fat woman?
"Nobody's listening to this story. F**k this story." - Uncle George (05/30/2015)
"How long will it take?" "Half an hour." "Look what I got." - Uncle George & Matt Zz (05/16/2015)
for his veggies to be done on the grill; ug got my keys to the tesla
"How much have you had to drink?" "Not enough!" - Janny M & Uncle George (05/15/2015)
"I'll get it out." "Naw, don't worry about it." - Janny M & Uncle George (05/15/2015)
ice... not sure
"It's so ignorant, I could like it." - Uncle George (05/15/2015)
"They did a drive by..." - Uncle George (04/19/2015)
inspection for his addition
"They threw the sticker out the window." - Uncle George (04/19/2015)
for the inspection
"I'd be dead before I got there." - Uncle George (03/28/2015)
stairs up to the top in canadian bacon
"The hood was fine until you dumba*ses jumped on it." - Uncle George (03/28/2015)
watching a restoration car show
"And now I have to vacuum the interior... Dumba*ses." - Uncle George (03/28/2015)
they took a sledge to the windsheild
"Stand back and squint." - Uncle George (03/28/2015)
uncle george got money out for mount rushmore
"She comes with baggage." "Don't the all?" "None like her." - Uncle George & Dude Over Uncle Georges 2/7/15 (02/07/2015)
"Why doesn't anyone ever ask me what I want." "Cause you can't drive." - Kim Mo & Uncle George (02/07/2015)
what kind of car we want
"It's a little bent. What did someone roll it over with a truck?" - Uncle George (02/07/2015)
his spoon
"Don't do that." - Uncle George (12/27/2014)
kim shaking her butt
"Take a few minutes, I know. It's a hard decision..." - Uncle George (12/13/2014)
which steering wheel to replace the tesla's with
"You don't like this steering wheel?" "It's feminine, it's sticky." "It's old." "So is your face." - Uncle George & Janny M (12/13/2014)
"He says it was brand new. It looks like it was on the Bismark." - Uncle George (12/13/2014) (pic)
his oil tank
"This ain't the f**king Romata." - Uncle George (10/19/2014)
how patrick needs to get up & out of bed
"It's better than two cups and a string I had last week." - Uncle George (10/19/2014)
his phone is a flip phone
"I had hair balls in my mouth." - Uncle George (10/18/2014)
grizzly's hair, she needed to be shaved
"Anybody can write a check." - Uncle George (10/18/2014)
a new camaro we were supposed to be impressed with
"I like this stick. I might hang it up in the garage." - Uncle George (09/20/2014)
shelby had a stick she wouldn't give to uncle george
"It centers at the jewels." - Uncle George (09/20/2014)
"And she's spitting on my saw and she's getting electrocuted." - Uncle George (09/20/2014)
"I can't eat a plaque." - Uncle George (08/23/2014)
he got a plaque for his service in the county
"That's a whole tree!" - Uncle George (08/23/2014) (pic)
shelby got a whole tree
"I should have called that dog stick." - Uncle George (08/23/2014)
"I don't think I've ever slept until nine." - Uncle George (08/23/2014)
"Frank, what are you a bull?" - Uncle George (07/04/2014)
he was kicking dirt
"That's when I conceived Patrick." "That's when I lost my hair." - Kim Mo & Uncle George (06/29/2014)
"Sounds like a bra to me." - Uncle George (06/29/2014)
describing what bri had to wear yesterday ziplining
"My niece tells me this s**t." - Uncle George (06/29/2014)
"I like being in Egypt." - Uncle George (06/29/2014)
where he lives, bfe
"So all those years I was working on your stuff I wasn't having no fun?" - Uncle George (05/24/2014)
to james how working on only his stuff was fun
"I can hold my beer." "That's a quality I'd look forward to." - James M & Uncle George (05/24/2014)
"She said, 'you look like George Clooney' and I said, 'what?'" - Uncle George (05/17/2014)
"That b***h was carrying the mail. I was ready to put a stamp on it." - Uncle George (05/17/2014)
"You dye your f**king hair." "Not anymore." - Uncle George & Allan C (05/17/2014)
"Now you're going to throw rocks in my pond?" - Uncle George (05/17/2014)
"You hold your junk right. You want a blow." - Uncle George (05/17/2014)
"I saw Jesus, I was praying to him." - Uncle George (05/16/2014)
when he drank the belgium beer
"I call it dad. Dumb ass dog." - Uncle George (04/05/2014)
"I ain't gonna experiment today." - Uncle George (04/05/2014)
order something different
"Guess what? If it's in the way of that mower, chop chop." - Uncle George (04/05/2014)
"Yeah. Big a*s sucker. It doesn't stand for superman." - Uncle George (03/15/2014)
if he wore a superman outfit
"But he ain't that pretty. Look at all the knuckles." - Uncle George (03/15/2014)
"Here I am f**ked up carrying a ninety six pound dog." - Uncle George (03/15/2014)
when chomper drank too much
"You need a massage." "No, I don't." - Janny M & Uncle George (03/15/2014)
"It tastes like apple juice." "She used to pee on me." - James M & Uncle George (03/15/2014)
"I am a scholar, too." - Uncle George (01/18/2014)
i called him a gentleman
"Why wouldn't you swing by here and drop it off?" - Uncle George (01/18/2014)
the next door neighbors house
"I don't care if they bring it in with a helicopter." - Uncle George (01/18/2014)
the next door neighbors house
"We should have went to jail that night." - Uncle George (01/18/2014)
a story
"Thanks. I needed a clock." - Uncle George (01/18/2014)
he has like 10 of them
"No, he's not getting a blower." - Uncle George (01/18/2014)
for the cuda
"Call my attorney. Get him down here." - Uncle George (01/18/2014)
making bets with his son
"I ain't drinking this God d**n water." - Uncle George (01/18/2014)
playing beer pong
"Oh hell no. I gotta get a beer." - Uncle George (11/29/2013)
"That's why I don't wanna be married." - Uncle George (11/29/2013)
"People shouldn't have to live like this." - Uncle George (11/10/2013)
"They'll turn into hens before you get around to cooking them." - Uncle George (11/10/2013)
the eggs
"Years ago when I was a kid..." "Don't you mean decades ago?" - Uncle George & Frank H (11/09/2013)
"Our fire's bigger than yours." "That's what she said." - Uncle George & Frank H (11/09/2013)
"If you want it bigger you have to blow it." - Uncle George (11/09/2013)
"Did you just call him hun?" "Yeah, it's kinda messed up." - Janny M & Uncle George (11/09/2013)
calling bri hun
"Whatever... Mary Poppins..." - Uncle George (11/09/2013)
"Why is there four candles?" - Uncle George (10/13/2013)
on bri's birthday cake
"I must be a Viagra stud." - Uncle George (09/21/2013)
"Let me go get the trash can. I'm going to throw up three beers." - Uncle George (09/21/2013)
"What's his name?" "Herman." - Janny M & Uncle George (09/21/2013)
a moth in his house is his pet
"You like to hear that girl screaming." "I know I do." - Kim Mo & Uncle George (09/21/2013)
"We don't say that no more." - Uncle George (08/31/2013)
he doesn't say i love you to his wife
"What happened? You were fine when I left and now you look like hell." - Uncle George (08/24/2013)
"I'm sure you'll see it. You're drinking, you'll be peeing." - Uncle George (08/10/2013)
the inside of their house since they're moving
"You smell high test or B G and E?" - Uncle George (08/10/2013)
the tesla
"I think we all really suck cause there's no one here no more." - Uncle George (08/10/2013)
"My kinda guys." - Uncle George (08/03/2013)
"It wasn't mine!" - Uncle George (08/03/2013)
we used to play on jacks when we were kids so he didn't care
"When you die, it doesn't matter how much you had. You're dead." - Uncle George (08/03/2013)
it's true
"You're in here too with yoga." - Uncle George (08/03/2013)
a song he likes
"Cause if I f**k it up, I gotta fix it." - Uncle George (07/27/2013)
"He couldn't even spell it." - Uncle George (07/21/2013)
mike i spelling epa
"It won't even have a chance to s**t." - Uncle George (07/21/2013)
if he got a bird he'd kill it
"There's enough Asians here to do a World War two movie." - Uncle George (07/21/2013)
"What? Would we charge twenty dollars a spot?" "No... ten." - Uncle George & Kim Mo (07/21/2013)
to camp at their new house
"That's what happens when the still blows up." - Uncle George (07/04/2013)
"You didn't give me a hug... tramp." - Uncle George (07/04/2013)
his friend didn't give him a hug
"It's whites against blacks. We're racist around here." - Uncle George (07/04/2013)
basketball
"Well doesn't it look like it? Jeez." "I don't know." - Janny M & Uncle George (07/04/2013)
not sure what i was refering to
"What's my s**t in here?" "...Me." - Uncle George (06/22/2013)
i asked what was mine in his garage & he moved into the garage & said me
"What the f**k is this s**t?" You ain't dead yet? I'm not buying you a box." - Uncle George (06/22/2013)
"You wanna buy a boat?" - Uncle George (06/22/2013)
"I'm not fixing that tailgate again." - Uncle George (06/22/2013)
if we destroy it putting a pool in the back of the truck
"If I wanna camp, I'll get a camper." - Uncle George (06/22/2013)
"That's one of the reasons I worked there." - Uncle George (06/22/2013)
naked women calendar at my grandfathers shop
"It's rock poop." - Uncle George (06/22/2013)
the stuff in the ground in rockville
"She must be on the moon cause she's not in New York." - Uncle George (06/08/2013)
"There must be fifty doors at that house... I don't know where they go..." - Uncle George (06/08/2013)
"There goes your tip." - Uncle George (05/31/2013)
when he asked the waiter if he needed to see his id & he said no
"They got bombshell broads." - Uncle George (05/11/2013)
"He's not going off to war." - Uncle George (05/11/2013)
kim was clinging to patrick her son
"Why do you give me s**t like that? I ain't fat." - Uncle George (04/06/2013)
"You're on my income taxes." - Uncle George (04/06/2013)
dave since he's always there
"I should have stayed home that night..." - Uncle George (04/06/2013)
when he was young with my uncle
"'Who are you?' 'I'm George Montgomery.' 'Is that an alias?'" - Uncle George (04/06/2013)
the first time he met my great aunt
"So I would have been your uncle... Well I'm still your uncle so what the f**k is the difference?" - Uncle George (04/06/2013)
"First thing is that God damn phone booth." - Uncle George (04/06/2013)
"It's hard to drive and you get this migraine..." - Uncle George (04/06/2013)
"Too many cats, too few recipes." - Uncle George (03/16/2013)
"The secure funds are not secure." - Uncle George (03/16/2013)
"And your grandfather had the fire going like a f**king inferno..." - Uncle George (03/16/2013)
"Ann's gonna be there, ain't she?" - Uncle George (03/16/2013)
bri's graduation
"Got beer? We're here." - Uncle George (03/16/2013)
"Got a Chevy on a Ford, I don't care." - Uncle George (02/16/2013)
his bumper is a chevy bumper on a ford truck
"Thank God I ain't here..." - Uncle George (02/16/2013)
but he was...
"I had one thing to do today..." - Uncle George (01/19/2013)
then nelson came over & started something
"They're not going down there to cook... who are they? Betty Crocker?" - Uncle George (01/19/2013)
patrick going to senior week & eating in
"There's three things you can't ride. That's one, my bike, and her... Actually, you can ride her... so I guess that's two things." - Uncle George (01/19/2013)
he pointed to his car first
"Did you spit on me?" "It's not spit. It's drool." - Dora Z & Uncle George (01/19/2013)
"Buzzards wouldn't even fly around this." - Uncle George (01/08/2013)
a car that james bought
"They come out of the sand. They're like f**king sand crabs." - Uncle George (01/08/2013)
camaro's in ocean city
"I'm gonna tell them the U P S guy did it." - Uncle George (12/24/2012)
knocked over their cable box again
"That guy was pissed... 'I was...'" - Uncle George (12/24/2012)
trailed off into funny voice and story
"I was like 'brr... they're trimmed'." - Uncle George (12/24/2012)
trimming a bush using a shotgun
"I'm like where in the f**k is the truck?" - Uncle George (12/24/2012)
"You wait until I get you with cars..." - Uncle George (12/24/2012)
uncle george trying to figure out what computer specs mean
"And someone's selling her peanuts, I don't know..." - Uncle George (11/22/2012)
"Stay in your lane... come on back..." - Uncle George (11/17/2012)
talking about people who don't stay on the same conversation
"And then she started talking about opera..." - Uncle George (11/17/2012)
"I'm gonna f**k you all up." - Uncle George (11/17/2012)
"You're like a car that won't start." - Uncle George (11/11/2012)
"It was the gift that kept giving." - Uncle George (11/11/2012)
"Need a lot of holy water to bless that place. All the s**t we did up there..." - Uncle George (10/13/2012)
dad's house is going to be a church
"Glen Burnie. I know Glen Burnie." - Uncle George (10/13/2012)
he ripped a page out from his maps book for lighter paper
"You see it doesn't work but we gotta keep it." - Uncle George (10/13/2012)
log cutter
"I don't even have a fire place." "Oh, we'll put one in..." - Brian C & Uncle George (10/13/2012)
so we can use the log cutter
"I got plenty of lamps so you can see what's in the attic." - Uncle George (10/13/2012)
"Don't be kicking me. The s**t's upstairs." - Uncle George (10/13/2012)
"There ain't nothing on this island but me... and ten f**king lamps." - Uncle George (10/13/2012)
"Kim, don't put that piece in there. It's too big." "That's what she said." - Uncle George & Janny M (09/15/2012)
"It's probably the dog watching Lassie." - Uncle George (09/15/2012)
how much electricity we use during the day
"It's like being on the f**king Titanic." - Uncle George (09/15/2012)
still talking about their old table which we were burning
"It felt like a f**king typhoon." - Uncle George (09/15/2012)
the table
"This ain't no bull s**t." - Uncle George (09/15/2012)
"Whoever made that table is laughing right now." - Uncle George (09/15/2012)
"Your uncle Roney was like, 'This is bull s**t. He's complaining about being rich.'." - Uncle George (09/03/2012)
joe walsh - life's been good
"Someone's driving around right now without labels in the back..." - Uncle George (08/19/2012)
how he got our trucks dodge symbols, etc
"Stress? What stress do you have? I'm married to her. I should be bald!" - Uncle George (08/19/2012)
"Who was Roland's father?" "Roland." - Dave H & Uncle George (07/23/2012)
my dad's father was named roland too
"Next time you come down here sober..." - Uncle George (07/23/2012)
s**t, it'll never happen
"Let's go!" "What?" - Janny M & Uncle George (07/23/2012)
do something crazy???
"Of course he has to do his little dance... I got his a*s though." - Uncle George (07/04/2012)
a moth in his paint
"If it don't scare you, don't drive it." - Uncle George (06/22/2012)
"I might paint it pink just for you." - Uncle George (06/22/2012)
his car he's building
"Little patch of fur." - Uncle George (06/22/2012)
how to draw... something...
"You can't draw a vagina very easily." "I can." - Janny M & Uncle George (06/22/2012)
"Dick Clark was the man." - Uncle George (06/22/2012)
"Our alcohol bill is like huge..." "Then turn off B G and E." - Kim Mo & Uncle George (06/02/2012)
"Yeah, f**k that sign." - Uncle George (06/02/2012)
he broke his toe on a sign
"Friendly ain't we? Got any beer?" - Uncle George (06/02/2012)
waving to random people
"Or let Brian drive the truck... oh, no no no." - Uncle George (06/02/2012)
bri bri doesn't drive trucks too well
"If you're drunk, you won't hit any of them." - Uncle George (04/22/2012)
potholes
"I'm not around chasing donut shacks or whatever." - Uncle George (04/22/2012)
what cops do
"Brand new." "It was brand new before." - Janny M & Uncle George (04/22/2012)
the carborator was leaking, it was the new seal
"The man's f**king ninety. He was seventy when I was a kid." - Uncle George (03/31/2012)
our lawyer
"Knowing my luck, it would be a counterfeit ticket." - Uncle George (03/31/2012)
if he had the winning lottery ticket
"I got a bagel with cream cheese." "You can't f**k that up." - Tom G & Uncle George (03/31/2012)
"He's gonna look like a beaver and open beer cans." - Uncle George (03/11/2012)
bri without no teeth except for his front two
"At least I thought they were bigger." "That's what she said." - Uncle George & Janny M (03/11/2012)
the hot dogs when he was a kid
"This f**king table is unstable!" - Uncle George (03/11/2012)
it rhymes!
"It's like an adventure." "Yeah, an adventure up s**t mountain." - Janny M & Uncle George (03/11/2012)
"What is it?" "It's an American!" - Brian C & Uncle George (03/02/2012) (pic)
"Oh man. This guy's got a fake blower. I got his a*s." - Uncle George (03/02/2012) 
THE 10,000TH QUOTE!!!! refering to his car people are going to think it's fake
"It's an engine." "Thank you." - Janny M & Uncle George (03/02/2012)
he always corrects people when they say motor
"If I drive it... sober..." - Uncle George (03/02/2012)
he will win
"No, I'm not. I'm just a redneck." - Uncle George (03/02/2012)
"A M radio. Gotta have it." - Uncle George (03/02/2012)
the car he's fixing up has an am radio
"Oh, Christ. I was having a good day." - Uncle George (03/02/2012)
james walked in
"I'll be in there with Bubba and Bubba looks horny." - Uncle George (03/02/2012)
in jail for whatever reason
"Oh right. You're ready to run cigarettes to New York." - Uncle George (03/02/2012)
"Don't ask me to pick up dog s**t." "You don't pick up dog s**t anyway." - Uncle George & Kim Mo (03/02/2012)
"You can't even walk the walk way. You're not even drinking." - Uncle George (01/28/2012)
kim was stumbling
"Bird's got taste." - Uncle George (01/02/2012)
a bird flew into the garage & pooped on the vette & flew away
"Yeah. Last time I checked it was a Chevy..." - Uncle George (01/02/2012)
checking for an alternator... he had said camaro
"What are you going to call me for a date?" - Uncle George (01/02/2012)
the guy on the phone wanted his phone number
"Flip the W and what is it? Me." - Uncle George (12/31/2011)
when bri said 'we' painted it
"Every time you talk you cost me money." - Uncle George (12/31/2011)
"You must have taken a cold shower cause it's gone now." - Uncle George (12/24/2011)
there was something hanging underneath allan's chair
"She went from an eight to a ten." "In who's book?" - Stacy M & Uncle George (12/24/2011)
kim
"Jelly shakes but jam don't." - Uncle George (12/24/2011)
"Got my shoes, got my clothes... It's a wonder I have any underwear left." - Uncle George (11/20/2011)
his kids steal his clothes
"This is my son. Can't you tell? Swaving, devina." - Uncle George (10/15/2011)
talking about ryan
"We gotta make a beer run." - Uncle George (10/15/2011) (pic)
as you can see, we had plenty
"No cheerleaders." "No beer." - Kim Mo & Uncle George (10/01/2011)
at james' football game
"You know she's got Indian in her cause it started to rain." - Uncle George (10/01/2011)
i was swaying and it started to rain
"Make sure your people are here." - Uncle George (10/01/2011)
for tomorrow's bike thing... telling his son
"I don't care where you go. Go to the f**king moon." - Uncle George (10/01/2011)
to get cigarettes
"I had somebody ask me if I've found the lord. I said I didn't know he was lost." - Uncle George (10/01/2011)
"Your dad never drilled no railroad ties." - Uncle George (09/09/2011)
"There's things that I don't know... it's not much..." - Uncle George (09/09/2011)
"What are you holding his hand?" "No, I'm telling a joke." - Uncle George & Allan C (09/09/2011)
"Why would you get your name on your back?" "In case he forgets." - Uncle George & Brian C (08/20/2011)
"You don't know your name?" - Uncle George (08/20/2011)
james wants a tatoo with his last name
"Why are you behind my old ladies booty, man?" - Uncle George (08/20/2011)
"That's not Mason, that's a Mercedes." - Uncle George (08/20/2011)
"There's a bug in my Martguerita." "Good. Maybe you'll choke." - Uncle George & James M (08/20/2011)
"We're having a clan meet." - Uncle George (08/19/2011)
the electricity was out, people were hanging around
"We can't keep doing this, well than move the damn box!" - Uncle George (08/19/2011)
his cable box is 2 feet from the road & gets hit a lot
"If we had hard lemonade, you bet he'd be drinking." - Uncle George (08/19/2011)
bri
"You flirting with my niece? What's up with that?" - Uncle George (08/19/2011)
alan got me a chair and whipped it down
"I wouldn't put one in my lawn mower." - Uncle George (07/23/2011)
55 chevy engine
"What are they blind?" - Uncle George (07/23/2011)
uncle george's friend got carded, he's like 60
"You got more gray hair than a battleship." - Uncle George (07/23/2011)
"Ew! It's all hot and sweaty." "Like we were this morning." - Kim Mo & Uncle George (07/01/2011)
"You're undressing me with your eyes and it's scaring me." - Uncle George (07/01/2011)
"You're not even a lifeboat yet." - Uncle George (06/25/2011)
james saying that he's built like a battleship
"You're never gonna be as good as me. You'll always be a shadow." - Uncle George (06/25/2011)
james
"He didn't like seeing me... again..." - Uncle George (06/25/2011)
ug had the same teacher that james has now
"My hand to God... He ain't coming here." - Uncle George (06/25/2011)
doh i forget but it was funny
"What the hell? Is John Wayne coming or what?" - Uncle George (06/11/2011)
"She's 'Monsoon Mama'... That's what we nicknamed her." - Uncle George (06/11/2011)
it rains whenever kim goes on vacation
"I want a green emerald tennis bracelet." "You don't play tennis." - Kim Mo & Uncle George (06/11/2011)
"Please don't mess with it. It barely works now." - Uncle George (06/11/2011)
we were trying to hook up my ipod to their system
"I feel like a virgin." "Yeah, you do." - Kim S & Uncle George (06/11/2011)
"No. If I was kidding I'd be laughing." - Uncle George (05/06/2011)
"Kim?" "Yeah?" - Uncle George & James M (05/06/2011)
"I brought you something you're gonna love." "The last time somebody said that, I didn't love it so much." - Brian C & Uncle George (04/02/2011)
"I've forgotten more than he knows." - Uncle George (04/02/2011)
"He's supposed to be a contractor... I wouldn't let him build a bird house for me." - Uncle George (04/02/2011)
"Now I'm feeding them and building them a house." - Uncle George (03/20/2011)
laying grass seed and hay down, birds
"There's a big weed. Try to pull that out." - Uncle George (03/20/2011) (pic)
"Do you have a duck for us to burn?" - Uncle George (03/18/2011)
"I'm glad I filled in that hole for him." - Uncle George (03/18/2011)
this guy did a U turn in the grass
"That tree limb's sure looking good." - Uncle George (03/18/2011)
"My options are about yeay big." "That's what she said." - Uncle George & Janny M (03/18/2011)
"You can take that a lot of different ways." - Uncle George (03/18/2011)
the above quote
"It's like playing dodge ball..." - Uncle George (03/16/2011)
dodging potholes
"You get a better feel for the nut..." "That's what she said." - Uncle George & Janny M (03/16/2011)
"Thank God I don't hit the lottery." - Uncle George (02/18/2011)
more stuff?
"Lose a cage? Don't even think about it. You better learn how to scuba dive." - Uncle George (02/18/2011)
when we go crabbing this summer
"When you eat them crabs, you know they're not dead." - Uncle George (02/18/2011)
that's dangerous
"Okay, let's analyze it to death." - Uncle George (02/18/2011)
his last quote about eating crabs that aren't dead
"Where was Dash?" "Uh, lifting weights? I don't know." - Kim Mo & Uncle George (02/18/2011)
"Oh God. Don't do that. I'll have nightmares..." - Uncle George (01/29/2011)
kim with her hair down
"If you like burnt hamburgers and chard hot dogs, it was great." - Uncle George (12/24/2010)
his company holiday picnic
"I never make that. I need a bigger basket." - Uncle George (12/24/2010)
his trash can, throwing cans in it
"Well Kim, I... pshhh." - Uncle George (12/24/2010)
if he were to go away, he'd miss his kids
"She's running in her dreams..." - Uncle George (12/24/2010)
kim... jk... chomper
"Why does it say today? ...Your Christmas will suck... Well..." - Uncle George (12/24/2010)
on his keystone can
"You are your mother's child... There ain't no doubt." - Uncle George (12/24/2010)
james thought the above quote was true
"I had to take my Confederate flag down because of you." - Uncle George (12/24/2010)
EJ
"He just wants to hold her hand." - Uncle George (12/24/2010)
james, my sis
"That's insane. I'd put two candles out in front of it." - Uncle George (12/12/2010)
my headlights are expensive
"Who would buy an old bone?" - Uncle George (12/12/2010)
"I hate this game... Let's play Monopoly." - Uncle George (11/26/2010)
"I'm not happy. After all the years of misery, all you give me is fifty cents?" - Uncle George (11/26/2010)
CLR she passed left
"I've been saying that for eighteen years." - Uncle George (11/26/2010)
kim is bad luck
"Say we're all tight and in a gang and we're like brothers or whatever, you know?" - Uncle George (11/26/2010)
lol
"I didn't realize they had that many f**king plays up there." - Uncle George (11/12/2010)
in nyc
"I don't know anything about cars..." - Uncle George (11/12/2010)
lol, it's uncle george
"It's not a duck, man. It's some little girl swinging on a swing." - Uncle George (11/12/2010)
i was drunk when this was a quote
"Mama's mad at me. I can tell by the way she's walking." - Uncle George (11/12/2010)
"It's my fault again. See?" - Uncle George (11/12/2010)
"See when we took marriage vows... for better or for worse? This is the worse." - Uncle George (11/12/2010)
"There's gotta be a tree limb big enough to hold my fat ass." - Uncle George (10/09/2010)
"The reason why they have the little umbrellas is so your ice doesn't melt." - Uncle George (10/08/2010)
i believed it!
"It does but it doesn't." - Uncle George (10/08/2010)
the above quote making sense
"No body has a phone booth anymore..." "I do, right there." - Janny M & Uncle George (10/08/2010)
"My truck has square headlights... Maybe I won't use twenty five of them..." - Uncle George (09/05/2010)
all the stuff from dad's
"My ass is not up." "It looks like a speed bump in the parking lot." - EJ C & Uncle George (09/05/2010)
doing push ups
"Oh, I see, you're caught in the spider web... Well doesn't that suck." - Uncle George (09/05/2010)
bee
"You mean a little pebble?" - Uncle George (09/05/2010) (pic)
james' arm
"Very feminine." "That's okay. I'm secure in my manly hood." - Janny M & Uncle George (08/15/2010)
his favorite song was pretty girly
"I'll be glad when this is over." "What?" "Getting old." - Kim Mo & Uncle George (08/15/2010)
"It looked like the pyramids of Egypt." - Uncle George (08/15/2010)
chompers crap
"I was raised a redneck. I grew up in Elkridge." "That's nothing to be proud of." - Kim Mo & Uncle George (07/24/2010)
"It could be worse. You could be black." - Uncle George (07/24/2010)
wtf???
"I feel like I'm in a Coors Light beer can." - Uncle George (07/24/2010)
his new/old truck
"Guess what I saw?" "Elvis." - Kim Mo & Uncle George (07/24/2010)
"Don't ever give her any more of those drinks. See what I have to deal with?" - Uncle George (07/11/2010)
kim was singing
"I can see it now. You all ride up in your bicycles... We all ride up in our cars." - Uncle George (07/04/2010)
football game
"Looked like a herd of elephants going after a peanut." - Uncle George (07/04/2010)
i got sacked
"My wife was her father..." - Uncle George (06/26/2010)
oka...
"My feet are here." "Yeah, and the table moves." - Kim Mo & Uncle George (06/06/2010)
"It stands for George Montgomery's Company." - Uncle George (06/06/2010)
GMC
"This fan is messing me up." - Uncle George (05/30/2010)
playing ping pong
"I don't want to reach under there. That might look a little funny." - Uncle George (05/30/2010)
the ball was under brian's chair
"I'm glad it wasn't me. I hate that little bastard." - Uncle George (05/11/2010)
mom mailed me sponge bob stickers
"Chairs mean people come here." - Uncle George (05/11/2010)
he wants to avoid that
"You got a silencer on your s**t?" - Uncle George (05/11/2010)
"It's all your fault if he starts running around the house nude." - Uncle George (05/11/2010)
i gave james a sip of beer
"Do I have a drill? I don't like the sound of that." - Uncle George (03/06/2010)
"Naw, I had a dog one time that didn't like beer... I got rid of his ass." - Uncle George (03/02/2010)
"Yeah, but I have to pay for them for you..." - Uncle George (12/25/2009)
the christmas presents
"Where did you find this?" "The store." - Kim Mo & Uncle George (12/25/2009)
a match box car she wanted
"There's your Chevelle. I don't want to hear anymore s**t." - Uncle George (12/25/2009)
he's been promising kim a chevelle forever
"I didn't even get a hug for the Chevelle. - Uncle George (12/25/2009)
she hugged us for the digital camera
"Brian ran into a parked car." "That doesn't surprise me." - Janny M & Uncle George (11/27/2009)
"I fell out of my chair." "Yeah, I heard." - Uncle George & Kim Mo (11/27/2009)
he did
"You guys need to go to the beach and hold hands." "No, we don't." - Lydia N & Uncle George (11/20/2009)
"I ain't got no friends so I don't get on Facebook." - Uncle George (11/20/2009)
"I even got a pair of leopard ones I've never wore." - Uncle George (11/20/2009)
underwear
"I haven't killed anyone and I'm getting seventeen to life." - Uncle George (11/20/2009)
"That's what I did. Some kid's running around with my hair." - Uncle George (11/15/2009)
locks of love
"These bums don't need to sit on that." - Uncle George (11/07/2009)
leather chair
"Look here, Lamb Chop." - Uncle George (11/07/2009)
he calls people lamb chop sometimes
""He's not getting rid of my ass." "I don't have a tow truck big enough." - Kim Mo & Uncle George (11/07/2009)
"Don't be scared of it." - Uncle George (10/17/2009)
telling bri to be liberal on the drywall glue
"Okay, where am I guys?" "You're up in a latter, but..." - Brian C & Uncle George (10/17/2009)
wondering if he's screwing in the right area of the drywall
"Ah, Christ, Brian's right. Isn't that some s**t?" - Uncle George (10/17/2009)
"I'm going down the road like a nun..." - Uncle George (10/17/2009)
with cops following him
"The guy who lent them to me never asked for them back. Damn, that sucks." - Uncle George (09/20/2009)
bri's straps
"I wouldn't be texting..." - Uncle George (09/15/2009)
if him & kim were still dating
"You're like a judge I met once." - Uncle George (09/10/2009)
mom was hammering her crab on the table
"It better have a thousand dollar bill taped to its ass." - Uncle George (08/09/2009)
"Put this back in there... I'll take it when it's not Fourth Of July." - Uncle George (07/04/2009)
something illegal
"You look like you're going fishing." - Uncle George (07/04/2009)
patrick kept pulling away when he was trying to light his sparkler
"E for idiot." "That's I." - Uncle George & Kim Mo (07/04/2009)
"What's really scary is you're capable of breeding." - Uncle George (07/04/2009)
mason
"I don't want to break my arm." - Uncle George (06/20/2009)
slapping kim's butt
"How's it looking for my sixty seven?" "You might have a headlight." - Kim Mo & Uncle George (06/20/2009)
kim wants a 67 nova
"It goes plump plump... like bird s**t." - Uncle George (06/15/2009)
when painting stucko ceiling the paint gets over u
"That's alright. I'll pass on the chocolate." - Uncle George (06/14/2009)
chocolate axe colone
"Let me figure out where you gotta be, Psyc." "Home in bed." - Uncle George & Psycho W (06/13/2009)
"I'd rather smell like a dog than smell like that." "Celine Dion?" - Uncle George & Stacy M (06/13/2009)
celine dion perfume
"He doesn't know his paperwork." - Uncle George (06/09/2009)
"If he was walking on his hands he'd be home." - Uncle George (06/03/2009)
"I'm checking that kid for steroids after the game." - Uncle George (06/03/2009)
a kid on the opposing team
"Well... he's different." "Be nice, James." "Well, Dad, look." - James M & Uncle George (06/03/2009)
pictures of dimitri on my phone
"I didn't get none that night." - Uncle George (05/31/2009)
when he said a bad comment to his wife
"Good God. He's bigger than I am." - Uncle George (05/24/2009)
person on the big screen
"I don't want to look at your Flintstone feet." - Uncle George (05/16/2009)
"Oh, there's the lawn mower. I didn't see it cause it's in the middle of the fricken jungle!" - Uncle George (05/15/2009)
mom claims her lawn mower was stolen when it was in fact on the lawn
"I'm all just pieced together... This part is a Buick." - Uncle George (05/15/2009)
"It's like a war zone..." - Uncle George (05/15/2009)
the cats hunt & bring stuff home
"Cars don't have a motor..." "I know." "Well you just said 'motor'." "I know." - Janny M & Uncle George (05/15/2009)
"Somebody left their clothes here. I guess they didn't pay the bill." - Uncle George (04/15/2009)
famous daves
"He was born to pitch." "Yeah, and I was born to pay." - Kim Mo & Uncle George (04/02/2009)
"Screw baseball. We'll go look at baseballs." - Uncle George (04/02/2009)
his sons, taking them to hooters
"Cause Roland and Ann look a lot alike." "Yeah, one has boobs, the other one doesn't." - Brian C & Uncle George (04/02/2009)
"This picture's awful." "That's perfect, it's my life." - Kim Mo & Uncle George (04/02/2009)
"She's probably gonna be a millionaire off of my s**t." - Uncle George (04/02/2009)
me quoting him all the time. i don't make any $$ of quotes
"Oh, I got plenty of props!" - Uncle George (04/02/2009)
he should go on stage but he needs props
"This was what I wanted but they wouldn't let me build it, pricks." - Uncle George (03/18/2009)
"Oh no! The battle of the cameras!" - Uncle George (02/22/2009)
stac & mom
"Don't laugh, Stacy, I hope you like Bacardi." - Uncle George (02/22/2009)
they're getting alcohol 4 christmas
"I can make money disappear." "So can your wife." - Uncle George & Ryan Mo (02/21/2009)
"Now I know why people hang themselves." - Uncle George (02/21/2009)
"He looks like Roland but very different." "Wow, I never thought of it like that..." - Robbie W & Uncle George (01/17/2009)
"Go to sleep now. You can do us all a favor." - Uncle George (12/24/2008)
kids
"It ain't a beer." - Uncle George (12/24/2008)
he shook his gift
"I can make myself disappear." "I wish you would." - Patrick M & Uncle George (12/24/2008)
"There's a skinny woman and a fat woman." "You shouldn't talk about your mama like that." - James M & Uncle George (12/24/2008)
telling jokes
"I left the garage for this?" - Uncle George (12/24/2008)
stupid jokes
"It'll be a dry county by the time you get into it." - Uncle George (12/24/2008)
stacy opening her present
"I don't drink that s**t... Give me a beer." - Uncle George (12/24/2008)
"What does it say? Suck ass?" "Oh, stop." - Uncle George & Psycho W (09/19/2008)
"Well, you gotta know when I'm gonna stop." "I'll figure that out when I hit you." - Psycho W & Uncle George (09/19/2008)
psycho's breaks were out
"Do you like the new car smell?" "Yeah, mildew." - Stacy M & Uncle George (08/24/2008)
dad's truck
"Well, look at the bright side of it... I don't know what it is but..." - Uncle George (08/16/2008)
"You're a waste of dog food." - Uncle George (07/27/2008)
talking to chomper who refused to lay down
"Brian exploded a soda." "Yeah, he told me. Couldn't have happened to a better person." - Janny M & Uncle George (07/19/2008)
"I'm listening..." - Uncle George (07/05/2008)
brian's bad idea
"Alright, the power should be out." "Yeah, famous last words." - Brian C & Uncle George (06/28/2008)
bri turned the power off in the house
"How you handled that with such finesse." - Uncle George (06/21/2008)
bri unscrewed a screw
"Look Huckleberry..." - Uncle George (05/24/2008)
"I think they're getting a union... organizing a union." - Uncle George (05/10/2008)
snakes that r in the junk yard will soon be out of a home
"See if it's getting fuel, Ryan." "No s**t!" - Uncle George & Ryan Mo (05/10/2008)
"You can smell it in the air." "Yeah, along with all the s**t." - Ryan Mo & Uncle George (04/26/2008)
"Have I missed any holes yet?" - Uncle George (04/26/2008)
he kept hitting pot holes
"Lady, you must not want that door." - Uncle George (04/26/2008)
some lady had her door wide open on the street
"They're not blowing at my truck, I can tell you that." - Uncle George (04/26/2008)
when we had the cuda on the back
"When the top goes down, the price goes up." - Uncle George (04/20/2008)
"That looks heavy, let me get out of your way." - Uncle George (04/20/2008)
suzanne was carying a rack