Shawn R's Quotes
Shawn R has made 928 quotes!
"Your boob's look banging in a f**king corset." - Shawn R (09/12/2024)
"That escalated quickly." - Shawn R (06/07/2024)
"I would have hit them with my mower by now." - Shawn R (05/03/2024)
he lost his keys
"That would have been f**king loud." - Shawn R (05/03/2024)
if he hit his keys with the mower
"You're not gonna die on me, are you?" "Only God willing." - Jen R & Shawn R (03/22/2024)
he was coughing
"That's cause you're not living with a survivalist mindset." - Shawn R (12/24/2023)
why there are people who don't consider themselves old here
"I have to admit, Shawn, this package is really nice." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Shawn R (12/24/2023)
nfl package we have
"You just shut your mouth and you don't open it." - Shawn R (12/06/2023)
talking to jen; telling her to shut up
"He looked like an Austin Powers villain... Guess which one." - Shawn R (07/14/2023)
"Is it fun touching another man's penis?" "Yeah. Super fun." - Jen R & Shawn R (06/30/2023)
"I mean that's not surprising." - Shawn R (06/30/2023)
he was out-mathed in the trivia game
"I did vote for wanna f**k." - Shawn R (06/30/2023)
"I don't know what I'm talking about." "We can tell." - Jen R & Shawn R (06/16/2023)
"F**king white people." - Shawn R (05/14/2023)
"Just get high some more. You'll want to eat anything... even dick." "No. That'll never happen." - Janny M & Shawn R (03/18/2023)
to jen
"No. You can't f**king walk away from popcorn! God damn it." - Shawn R (03/18/2023)
jen wanted non-burnt popcorn
"I feel like you might need something shoved in there." - Shawn R (02/28/2023)
jen's private area
"You and I are gonna sit down and watch that s**t." "The hell we are. I watch horror movies..." - Shawn R & Jen R (02/28/2023)
he was talking about a horror movie
"Yeah, blame it on the black one." - Shawn R (01/27/2023)
bri was blaming things on lando
"She had to use her super crack cream." - Shawn R (01/27/2023)
"No. The left of the vagina is the reactor." - Shawn R (12/24/2022)
"I was the one who pointed out to her, 'hey, this kinda sucks.'" - Shawn R (10/08/2022)
hocus pocus 2
"Yeah, the baby cages." - Shawn R (10/08/2022)
infants in the nicu
"That was the earliest I've ever drank." - Shawn R (10/08/2022)
watching the 9 am eagles game
"Motherf**ker. We just spent two hundred dollars on groceries!" - Shawn R (10/08/2022)
they didn't get sandwich bags
"Me es infedel..." - Shawn R (10/08/2022)
how to say i'm a refugee
"Shut the f**k up. It's not that part." - Shawn R (10/08/2022)
jen singing
"You might have gotten a contact high." - Shawn R (10/08/2022)
"Daniel was a unique kid." "That's one way to put it." - Cheryl R & Shawn R (09/05/2022)
"When you work in urology you see penises everywhere." - Shawn R (09/02/2022)
"You're showing your boobs off." - Shawn R (08/14/2022)
"I was in the navy so I got f**ked a lot." - Shawn R (08/14/2022)
"No, there's women..." - Shawn R (08/14/2022)
in the navy
"Are you really this dumb?" - Shawn R (07/29/2022)
"You're obsessed with taking your clothes off." "Not when no one else is around." - Janny M & Shawn R (07/29/2022)
jen
"You can continue." "I'm done now." - Shawn R & Jen R (07/29/2022)
first time for everything
"Unless you guys have been peeing in here." "Not yet but the night is young." - Janny M & Shawn R (07/29/2022)
their pool
"You don't need name brand to clean a bong." - Shawn R (07/29/2022)
"You get one tuck a night." - Shawn R (07/29/2022)
shawn already tucked in molly
"You know what. F**k. We need a divorce." - Shawn R (07/29/2022)
jen likes tom cruise... this is a bad quote now
"Strength doesn't matter when I have a crowbar." - Shawn R (07/29/2022)
"It's not that far down." "That's what she said." - Shawn R & Janny M (07/15/2022)
"See? You make it hard then you just have to blow." - Shawn R (07/15/2022)
"Maybe it needs to be blown out?" "That's what she said." - Shawn R & Brian C (07/15/2022)
the strobe light wasn't working
"We were there to sleep... and to do other things..." - Shawn R (07/03/2022)
"Well of course I use it for porn..." - Shawn R (06/17/2022)
what he uses his phone for
"They're building a new critical care tower... They're not going to have the nurses to staff it!" - Shawn R (05/28/2022)
"It's light weight." "That's what she said." - Kenny W & Shawn R (05/28/2022)
his jacket
"It's wet." - Shawn R (05/28/2022)
"Ryan Reynolds. Ryan Reynolds. All day long." - Shawn R (05/28/2022)
ehhhh
"Do you know how deep the lore is?" "That's what she said." - Shawn R & Janny M (05/20/2022)
"...It's like black out conditions..." "White out." - Jen R & Shawn R (04/16/2022)
"Yes cause half an inch is a massive f**king snow storm." - Shawn R (04/16/2022)
"You know, you're very offensive." - Shawn R (03/26/2022)
to jen
"What does that make Penny? A whore?" "Yes. Penny's a whore." - Jen R & Shawn R (03/26/2022)
cause lando is a player
"It comes apart in like three different ways." "Yeah, that's what all grinders do." - Jen R & Shawn R (03/11/2022)
"I feel like I need to get Penny on penicillin." - Shawn R (03/11/2022)
lando has a lot of girlfriends
"Brian was making fun of me basically." "Okay, that's a usual night." - Jen R & Shawn R (03/11/2022)
"Or don't listen to me..." - Shawn R (02/19/2022)
blow smoke inside... jen?
"Our wrongly convicted friends, right?" "Sure." - Janny M & Shawn R (02/19/2022)
"This thingy goes deep." "That's what she said." - Shawn R & Janny M (02/19/2022)
"Oh, I don't think so." "Would you stop giving a dog attitude?" - Jen R & Shawn R (02/13/2022)
"Okay, I need to go to the E R." "Yeah, you'll wait until after half time." - Jen R & Shawn R (02/13/2022)
eminem, dr dre, all the folks
"I'm surprised you get carded. They see you several times a week." - Shawn R (02/13/2022)
at the liquor store
"Don't squeeze!" - Shawn R (02/13/2022)
jen was handling something delicate
"Oh f**k!" - Shawn R (01/14/2022)
he took the lid off the fire and the flame went up
"I have a question. Do I have singed hair on my face?" - Shawn R (01/14/2022)
"My knees are callused as f**k." - Shawn R (12/24/2021)
"...She's still f**king high!" - Shawn R (12/24/2021)
jen
"I didn't have sex on the beach..." - Shawn R (12/24/2021)
"It's like she's on speed." - Shawn R (11/19/2021)
jen just kept talking and talking
"It's your wood, Brian." - Shawn R (11/19/2021)
bugs in it
"She's probably in there talking to herself..." - Shawn R (11/19/2021)
jen wouldn't stop talking
"No, he wasn't yelling in an airport. No one yells in an airport except you." - Shawn R (11/19/2021)
talking to jen
"I touch a lot of junk." - Shawn R (11/19/2021)
"There are some very stupid people out there, honey." "No, there aren't." - Jen R & Shawn R (11/05/2021)
to get ones dick slammed in a door
"That was a big one." "That's what she said." - Shawn R & Brian C (10/22/2021)
"I thought you got lost." - Shawn R (10/22/2021)
jen was taking forever in the house
"My doctor took a look at my penis then immediately stuck a finger up my ass." "Was that before or after laughing?" - Brian C & Shawn R (10/22/2021)
"It's been Christmas since f**king September. It's spooky season!" - Shawn R (10/22/2021)
"Brian was with me but now he's dead? Who the f**k killed Brian?" - Shawn R (10/15/2021)
"Is everybody in?" "That's what she said." - Janny M & Shawn R (10/15/2021)
"He was a f**king badass. He got shot and continued his speech." - Shawn R (10/09/2021)
teddy roosevelt
"Did you smell it?" "Oh my god." - Janny M & Shawn R (08/15/2021)
the bathroom after brian
"Move over there... Okay, well I'm gonna hit ya." - Shawn R (08/15/2021)
trying to get jen to move so he can move the car
"What do you call hitting something unintentionally at 20 miles per hour?" "An accident." - Brian C & Shawn R (08/15/2021)
"I mean, Ragnar, if I was gay; yeah." - Shawn R (08/15/2021)
"Aww f**k!" - Shawn R (07/30/2021)
"The boys will come back out." - Shawn R (07/30/2021)
balls because the water was so cold
"Are you f**king drinking wine?" - Shawn R (07/16/2021)
jen should have been drinking water!
"Why are we in the garage?" "Cause it's f**king warm." - Jen R & Shawn R (07/16/2021)
"Nine feet tall... giant tits..." - Shawn R (07/02/2021)
some giant vampire lady from his game
"I can get breast implants." "No, you're not cause I'm not paying for them." - Jen R & Shawn R (07/02/2021)
"I was yelling at my wife." - Shawn R (07/02/2021)
"Dude, you need these just in case you need to crucify a mother f**ker." - Shawn R (06/27/2021)
big nails
"I was like was Jen in the car? No, Jen hadn't been in the car..." - Shawn R (06/27/2021)
when i found someone's pot in the truck
"Prolapse is spelled wrong." - Shawn R (05/21/2021)
"What does it do? Does it milk it?" - Shawn R (05/21/2021)
robot pussy
"I got a split with my bottomless pit?" - Shawn R (05/21/2021)
"No, I'm not taking charity." - Shawn R (04/17/2021)
quotes
"It's too wide." "That's what he said." "Damn it." - Jen R & Janny M & Shawn R (04/17/2021)
he wanted to say it
"You don't get to say 'ew' to your bodily fluids." - Shawn R (04/17/2021)
"I feel bad because Sabrina hasn't been the impostor but I just saw her kill Janis." "No, you didn't." - Shawn R & Sabrina P (04/02/2021)
"Dyson hand job?" "Of course you went there." - Janny M & Shawn R (03/26/2021)
couldn't hear becky's story about a hand blow dryer
"You can actually almost see an hour glass." - Shawn R (03/26/2021)
on their dog penny
"This is for pain not pleasure." - Shawn R (03/26/2021)
"What the f**k? Where's the hole?" "That's what he said." - Jen R & Shawn R (03/26/2021)
"Situational awareness." - Shawn R (03/26/2021)
the last twhs quote
"I got the Viagra shot." - Shawn R (03/12/2021)
covid vaccine
"I don't want them to hit the cars." "Yeah, they're bean bags." - Jen R & Shawn R (03/12/2021)
"I just saw Sabrina vent!" - Shawn R (02/26/2021)
we were only in the holding area
"Bye Sabrina." "Oh no!" - Shawn R & Sabrina P (02/26/2021)
we voted her off
"I'm afraid of what that's gonna become." "Yeah, so am I." - Brian C & Shawn R (02/19/2021)
their answers in survive the internet
"No one liked my dick?" - Shawn R (02/05/2021)
"Sorry, I'm crunching on cheese balls." - Shawn R (02/05/2021)
"I mean, it is a good time." - Shawn R (01/22/2021)
"Just like an unvaccinated child." - Shawn R (01/08/2021)
never gets old
"My look's shot so..." - Shawn R (01/08/2021)
"No. That's a lot of money." - Shawn R (11/27/2020)
"It's not big enough." "That's what she said." - Janny M & Paul H & Shawn R (10/30/2020)
twss said at the same time
"F**k it. Why not?" - Shawn R (09/11/2020)
would he pose for a cock sock calendar
"John Jacob Jingle-Hiemer Smith. His name is my name, too." "My God. Kill me now." - Jen R & Shawn R (09/11/2020)
"I'm already wet." "That's what she said." - Janny M & Shawn R (09/06/2020)
"Butt f**ker?" "Oh, Brian's playing?" - Janny M & Shawn R (09/04/2020)
"I don't know what they expect you to put in that?" "I mean you need some creamer sometimes." - Arlene A & Shawn R (09/04/2020)
"I was gonna say, the plague is making a comeback." - Shawn R (08/28/2020)
"Yeah I see enough of them at work." - Shawn R (08/28/2020)
penises
"Why the f**k aren't we on a river right now?" - Shawn R (08/01/2020)
we were supposed to go tubbing
"You have to chew before it goes down." - Shawn R (08/01/2020)
jen was coughing
"It's fun watching him chase it around." - Shawn R (06/12/2020)
bri and the basketball
"Who doesn't know how to spell beaver?" - Shawn R (06/05/2020)
"As long as Brian loses, too." - Shawn R (04/17/2020)
shawn was losing at dominion
"Sit down cause all they see is your tits." - Shawn R (04/11/2020)
video conferencing with shawn & jen
"The f**k, I don't know." - Shawn R (04/11/2020)
"Why does everyone have a boner?" - Shawn R (04/11/2020)
"The first hand I won." - Shawn R (03/14/2020)
we were betting but the losers got something nice but not him
"What smells like beer? It's a f**king shoe." - Shawn R (02/29/2020)
"Generally our patients aren't s**ting... They're asleep." - Shawn R (02/14/2020)
he works in the OR
"It all came out!" "That's what she said." - Janny M & Paul H & Brian C & Shawn R (02/14/2020)
twss said at the same time; the ice came out really fast!
"She smacked my a*s." "Yeah." - Jen R & Shawn R (02/07/2020)
"Wait... is that... legal?" - Shawn R (02/07/2020)
"The only triple A's are in our vibrator." - Shawn R (01/03/2020)
the batteries they have
"Haha. You said nuts." - Shawn R (01/03/2020)
"See. I saw a giant Woody." "Did you get jealous?" "No. Mine's bigger." - Shawn R & Janny M (12/24/2019)
at disney world
"It looks like a vacuum." "It's a Slave One!" - Janny M & Shawn R (12/24/2019)
"I don't know how to quote a burp." "Burp." - Janny M & Shawn R (12/24/2019)
i didn't quote the burp
"You called me crash?" "Yeah. How many cars in a three month period?" - Jen R & Shawn R (11/23/2019)
"Oh! Look at the puppy! It's so cute!" "That's not a puppy. That's baby Yoda." - Janny M & Shawn R (11/23/2019)
"Eh, you can take anyone out with a crowbar." - Shawn R (10/26/2019)
ezekiel elliot has a punchable face that i'm afraid to punch
"Did you know tickets to that game were cheaper than the Miami zoo?" - Shawn R (10/26/2019)
tickets to the dolphins vs redskins game
"The inches matter. Which is ridiculous." "That's what she said." - Brian C & Shawn R (10/26/2019)
car tires
"Seriously? He broke something again?" - Shawn R (09/02/2019)
the redskins quarterback
"What's wrong with you people?" "A lot of things." - Janny M & Shawn R (09/02/2019)
"She might want to wait or else she'll be following the bus." - Shawn R (09/02/2019)
his mom; wait until molly gets on the bus & the bus leaves
"You all f**king need Jesus." - Shawn R (08/10/2019)
the s**t we were drawing
"Someone had to draw a dick on the bear." - Shawn R (08/10/2019)
that was me ;)
"I can't see the hole." "That's what he said." - Patrick D & Shawn R (08/10/2019)
"Honey, my tatas are wet." "I'll dry them off for ya." - Jen R & Shawn R (07/06/2019)
"Seriously, did you just do that?" - Shawn R (07/06/2019)
jen smelled her bathing suit
"I was gonna say you wish you had a tattoo that cool." - Shawn R (06/01/2019)
"I think it's time for us to replace this deck." "Are you gonna become a prostitute to pay for it?" - Jen R & Shawn R (06/01/2019)
"Alright, Brian, do you know what a hammer looks like?" - Shawn R (06/01/2019)
bri got shawn the wrong nails before
"Doesn't matter. As long as it goes in." "That's what she said." - Shawn R & Janny M (06/01/2019)
the basketball
"I fell down an anti-vax hole a few weeks ago..." - Shawn R (05/03/2019)
"Why am I getting a look because of what he said?" - Shawn R (05/03/2019)
bri said shawn should smack it when he got married
"Why's he gotta be black?" - Shawn R (05/03/2019)
"This isn't like pool when you get better the more you drink." - Shawn R (05/03/2019)
we were playing horse
"It did not penetrate the moist net." - Shawn R (05/03/2019)
"We are putting plastic and silicon in our bodies now." "Yea, but those are for good things." - Shawn R & Brian C (04/06/2019)
"Stop drawing dicks on my daughter's pillow." - Shawn R (01/11/2019)
bri was doing it
"And boobs." - Shawn R (01/11/2019)
the above quote
"We understand. Fine. Divorce me then." - Shawn R (01/11/2019)
i think it was his facial hair
"I haven't noticed." - Shawn R (12/24/2018)
if brian had brain damage
"Just get a little G string." "No. I don't fit in those anymore." - Brian C & Shawn R (11/30/2018)
"Where's my clamp?" "Isn't it on Jen's nipple?" "No, that's my spring clamp." - Shawn R & Brian C (11/17/2018)
"I got a bit of wood here." "Is it big wood or little wood?" - Shawn R & Brian C (11/16/2018)
"Cause it's something we always bet on." "Well we do." - Janny M & Shawn R (11/16/2018)
when jen will pass out
"Did she say cum in my hair?" - Shawn R (11/03/2018)
"Penthouse forums doesn't accept anymore." - Shawn R (11/03/2018)
bri wanted to post some stories
"You better not be drinking on the way home." "Yeah, cause he'll have my salt!" - Janny M & Shawn R (11/03/2018)
bri wanted to do tequila shots
"Yeah, he's gotta poop." - Shawn R (10/06/2018)
"Do you have a stick?" "Well, I do..." - Brian C & Shawn R (10/06/2018)
"Especial." "That's Spanish for s**tty beer." - Janny M & Shawn R (09/28/2018)
"You're still putting nuts in your mouth." - Shawn R (09/28/2018)
jen was complaining about the candy i bought her
"Why can't you give my tip a little lick?" - Shawn R (09/28/2018)
jen was licking a stick of cheese
"I'm good at feeling for things in the dark." - Shawn R (09/28/2018)
"I do some of my best work in the dark." - Shawn R (09/28/2018)
don't wanna know
"I'm just hitting play..." - Shawn R (09/28/2018)
"What else can I grind?" - Shawn R (09/28/2018)
making sparks to the music by grinding a bottle cap
"I'm not a coconut fan but that's good." - Shawn R (09/08/2018)
jen's rum & coke using coconut rum
"I think I'll keep it." - Shawn R (09/07/2018)
we put a pic of jen's butt on his phone as his wallpaper
"It's not that green." - Shawn R (09/07/2018)
the kiddy pool water
"P is for pussy." - Shawn R (08/25/2018)
"I know you guys wanna be Chris Elliot right now." "No, not really." - Janny M & Shawn R (08/25/2018)
i had a crush on chris elliot when i was younger
"It even has a foam tip." "That's what she said." - Shawn R & Janny M (08/10/2018)
"Okay, you're white. Stop rapping." - Shawn R (08/10/2018)
"Your nipples are hard. They want to be played with. Trust me. I work in medicine." - Shawn R (07/03/2018)
talking to jen
"Come over here." "It's not long enough." - Brian C & Shawn R (07/03/2018)
"You don't mind when I play with your nipples during sex." "...Want some popcorn?" - Shawn R & Jen R (05/25/2018)
"I fell on my left shoulder." "The one that's hurt?" "My right shoulder." - Shawn R & Jen R (05/25/2018)
"The guy's French so he's gotta know what he's talking about." - Shawn R (05/25/2018)
how to open wine without a cork screw
"And I'm gonna get in trouble for it. You're welcome." - Shawn R (05/12/2018)
moving jen's chair
"I didn't send a single dick pic." - Shawn R (04/29/2018)
"Not since the great splinter accident of 2015." - Shawn R (04/29/2018)
a place we don't do something adult
"You gotta be a s**ty quarterback to be cut by Cleveland." - Shawn R (04/29/2018)
rgiii
"Are you trying to light the garage on fire?" "Yeah, with a pizza crust." - Jen R & Shawn R (03/03/2018)
he threw his pizza crust & it hit the wall; bad, inaccurate throw
"She might be one of your constituents." "No. She's got a gun." - Janny M & Shawn R (02/03/2018)
"Here's the sexy little easel." - Shawn R (02/03/2018)
for the meme game
"Porn videos have plots?" - Shawn R (02/03/2018)
"It won't fit any other way." "That's what she said." - Shawn R & Janny M (12/23/2017)
their bed in their bedroom
"I don't know why the wood's not catching. It's not wet." "That's what she said." - Shawn R (12/09/2017)
"It's okay. You're getting older." - Shawn R (12/09/2017)
jen's neck hurt
"And you didn't wanna hit that?" "No, I wouldn't have minded." - Janny M & Shawn R (12/09/2017)
his old roommate
"The hole's not big enough." "That's what he said." - Janny M & Shawn R (12/01/2017)
i set him up
"That's a legitimate question." "No. It's not." - Janny M & Shawn R (10/14/2017)
questioning butt buddies
"Oh, she's feeding the dogs now." "Sigh." - Shawn R & Brian C & Janny M (10/14/2017)
brian and i both sighed
"I want it longer." "That's what she said." - Shawn R & Janny M (09/23/2017)
"You gotta give him road head." "She's driving!" - Jen R & Brian C & Shawn R (09/23/2017)
she's driving said at the same time
"I couldn't see it. It was all bush." "That's because it's so small." - Janny M & Shawn R (09/15/2017)
no comment
"The alcohol and Motrin had numbed it." - Shawn R (09/15/2017)
he hurt his foot
"Don't put that on. It's too wet." "That's what she said." - Shawn R & Janny M (09/09/2017)
the wood
"I will cut your throat with that saw right there." - Shawn R (09/01/2017)
"No; with your phone. That's what google's for." - Shawn R (09/01/2017)
jen didn't know what a cleveland steamer was
"Like I said it's a hard wood." "That's what she said." - Shawn R & Brian C (08/05/2017)
"Ask her. I'm taking it real slow." "That's what she said." - Shawn R & Janny M (08/04/2017)
"I tried to do a fireball but f**k that s**t." - Shawn R (08/04/2017)
"Oh hell no. I'm not putting that s**t in my mouth again." "That's what she said." - Shawn R & Janny M (08/04/2017)
95% alcohol stuff
"I'm good at putting things in holes." - Shawn R (07/28/2017)
"Ha. You found the wrong kinda balls." - Shawn R (07/28/2017)
"If they got big bazongas and they had a crappy closer, you're gonna see the closer." - Shawn R (07/22/2017)
boob jobs
"I will slice and dice your fat f**king ass." - Shawn R (07/22/2017)
"Who needs an I V? I'll just tie him down." - Shawn R (07/22/2017)
threatening bri
"It needs to be wet." "That's what she said." - Janny M & Shawn R (07/22/2017)
"Yeah cause I'm really gonna have my dick out while I'm using power tools." - Shawn R (07/22/2017)
"Well we'll set it up while we're sober." - Shawn R (07/14/2017)
pole
"Farmville went under." - Shawn R (07/14/2017)
thank god
"You've seen more of Becky than any of us." - Shawn R (07/14/2017)
jen has
"Jen wants another baby." "You have to have sex for that." - Jen R & Shawn R (07/03/2017)
"My lighter's small." "That's what she said." - Shawn R & Janny M (06/17/2017)
"What happened?" "I live on a hill." - Janny M & Shawn R (06/17/2017)
he spilled his beer
"Someone was making it hail." - Shawn R (06/17/2017)
jen found coins in her bra
"Coco and nut." - Shawn R (06/17/2017)
i asked how to spell coconut
"Siri, do you take it in the a*s?" "...That's a yes." - Shawn R & Janny M (06/09/2017)
siri didn't say
"You gotta shave your a*s." "Are you gonna do it cause I can't?" - Jen R & Shawn R (06/09/2017)
"I wanna see some boobs." - Shawn R (06/09/2017)
"And the girls in yoga pants..." "There weren't any. It's Lowes." - Brian C & Shawn R (05/27/2017)
"What is Channing Tatum's wife's name?" "Something Tatum..." - Shawn R & Brian C (05/27/2017)
"Don't. That's sticky." "It's not sticky." "That's what she said." - Janny M & Brian C & Shawn R (05/13/2017)
"Is it all the way in?" "That's what she said." - Shawn R & Janny M (04/22/2017)
"Did you get it all the way in?" "Yes." "That's what she said." - Shawn R & Brian C & Janny M (04/22/2017)
"The dry wood catches fast." - Shawn R (03/24/2017)
"When we went to bed, we didn't go to bed." - Shawn R (03/24/2017)
their honeymoon ;p
"They're shoes. Don't call them 'kicks' in my presence." - Shawn R (02/18/2017)
"I'm gonna buy another fire pit tomorrow." "Why?" "So it doesn't look like a*s." - Shawn R & Jen R (02/18/2017)
"She's probably got wood in her hands." "That's what she said." - Shawn R & Janny M (02/04/2017)
"You're one to talk. You don't even drink beer." - Shawn R (02/04/2017)
bri; he doesn't drink beer but he drinks taquila
"That goes again about the pussification of America." - Shawn R (02/04/2017)
"How long is the girl scout period?" "That's f**ked up." - Janny M & Shawn R (02/04/2017)
"Really, dogs?" - Shawn R (01/07/2017)
got off the couch when he sat on the floor
"I was combining the two." "R G Kelly?" "That's what it sounded like." - Brian C & Janny M & Shawn R (01/07/2017)
"Jen's feeling it." - Shawn R (01/07/2017)
alcohol
"Why were you at a gay club?" - Shawn R (01/07/2017)
to bri
"Oh, that makes sense." - Shawn R (01/07/2017)
why bri was at a gay club; calling bri gay
"What? I'm from Pennsylvania." - Shawn R (01/07/2017)
he could walk outside in the freezing cold with no shirt
"I am a girl scout leader." - Shawn R (01/07/2017)
lol
"I'll have to look at penis pictures from Brian's tablet." "He's already got them there." - Janny M & Shawn R (12/15/2016)
"Just means he can actually see." - Shawn R (12/15/2016)
the refs
"She'd let me do a lot more with her." - Shawn R (12/09/2016)
his wife
"I need a happy meal toy from you." - Shawn R (12/09/2016)
i was getting a beer during cah
"I didn't buy pikachu for that." - Shawn R (12/09/2016)
to cover me up
"He's bare handing it." "It's frozen." - Brian C & Shawn R (12/09/2016)
cleaning up dog poop
"Brian, entertain her." - Shawn R (11/05/2016)
brian got on his phone as well
"Why are you eating a pepper?" "Cause I don't have carrots." - Jen R & Shawn R (11/05/2016)
"Wanna feel my wood?" - Shawn R (10/14/2016)
he made a wood cutting board that looks awesome
"Maybe you should light the wood on fire." "What? With a lighter?" - Jen R & Shawn R (10/14/2016)
"We need more wood." "That's what she said." - Shawn R & Brian C & Jen R (10/14/2016)
brian & jen said twss at the same time
"F**k you. I got push it on." - Shawn R (09/23/2016)
"That's not porn. That's family photos." - Shawn R (09/02/2016)
when you come across pictures of your relatives naked
"You're not going to like it. Try it and see if you like it." "I do. Love it." - Shawn R & Molly R (08/27/2016)
pepper on her waffles
"Oh yeah, Shawn is a lot older than me." "F**k you." - Janny M & Shawn R (08/26/2016)
"So the State Department." "The corrupt branch that Clinton ran?" "Yes." - Shawn R & Janny M (08/26/2016)
"Brian's the only one who can be on his phone because he's trying to get my d**k off of it." - Shawn R (07/16/2016)
shawn pranked bri with a wallpaper photo
"We can have loud sex and no one will hear." "There you go." - Janny M & Shawn R (07/16/2016)
"It only took three balls." - Shawn R (07/16/2016)
to catch a pokemon
"What are you doing?" "Taking a shot of beer." - Jen R & Shawn R (07/16/2016)
"You squeezed it!" - Shawn R (07/16/2016)
"It's like drinking a sour patch kid." - Shawn R (07/16/2016)
mixed drink
"I said Korn not Koran." - Shawn R (06/24/2016)
"Don't break my wood." - Shawn R (06/04/2016)
"I don't wanna shoot my big one off." - Shawn R (06/04/2016)
"Don't step on the wood." "That's what she said." - Shawn R & Janny M (05/13/2016)
"It better not be. I'll beat her a*s." - Shawn R (04/02/2016)
molly's next word is horney
"You mean you'll smell like sex?" - Shawn R (04/02/2016)
since jen won't take a shower before tomorrow
"Did you just call it a wee wee?" - Shawn R (04/02/2016)
"The voices stopped me." - Shawn R (03/04/2016)
"No, dude, he's a redneck." - Shawn R (03/04/2016)
"They moved to Montgomery Village. Yeah, they do that there, too." - Shawn R (01/08/2016)
people have sex in their back yards
"The way you drive?" - Shawn R (01/08/2016)
talking to jen (crash)
"I don't know where she's going with this..." - Shawn R (01/08/2016)
the above statement
"I'm surprised they trust you with a car." - Shawn R (12/11/2015)
jen; or crash is what we call her
"I'd learn ya real good." - Shawn R (12/11/2015)
if he taught kelly
"Um, Johnny drug addict." - Shawn R (12/11/2015)
johnny manzel
"There are these rods between the inflatables..." - Shawn R (12/11/2015)
"I feel something wet." "That's what she said." - Shawn R & Janny M (12/11/2015)
"This tribal council is called to order." - Shawn R (12/11/2015)
we had a fire & he had a big stick
"Come on, Jen, come on. My balls are getting cold." - Shawn R (12/11/2015)
trying to give jen the goat
"My balls are too cold." - Shawn R (12/11/2015)
he had to put it away before she came out
"Can you not b***h for like five minutes?" "I'll think about it." - Shawn R & Jen R (11/13/2015)
"I said log, not twig." - Shawn R (11/13/2015)
bri said he had a log
"This is why I don't like getting information from Jen. It's always half information." - Shawn R (10/24/2015)
"The holes aren't big enough." "That's what she said." - Shawn R & Brad F (10/02/2015)
"It's not a penis. It's a f**king dick." - Shawn R (09/18/2015)
"Somebody needs to tame that jungle." "That's what she said." - Shawn R & Brian C (09/05/2015)
shawn's neighbors yard
"She's mixing wine and vodka." "Uh, I don't know how that's gonna taste." - Brian C & Shawn R (08/15/2015)
"Diarrhea pockets." - Shawn R (08/15/2015)
hot pockets
"Actually that's pretty... I mean it was an earthquake." - Shawn R (08/15/2015)
necrofelia after the haiti earthquake
"She's getting in the wrong deck." "Wouldn't be the first time." Shut up, Janis." - Shawn R & Janny M & Jen R (08/15/2015)
"You guys shut the f**k up. You don't have to live with her." - Shawn R (07/18/2015)
talking about jen's wrecked cars; we call her crash
"Big ol titties." - Shawn R (07/18/2015)
who kate upton is
"The water is so murky you can't see s**t." "That's not a riptide." - Jen R & Shawn R (07/18/2015)
talking about the water in ocean city
"We'll be inside... and run to the next store..." - Shawn R (07/18/2015)
going shopping at the outlets tomorrow on a very hot day
"As soon as you say that, you're drunk." - Shawn R (07/03/2015)
jen saying she's not drunk
"Are you getting molested by my wife?" - Shawn R (07/03/2015)
me; always
"He's probably cooking a bunch of crystal m**h." - Shawn R (06/13/2015)
what bradley (a kid) was doing
"I know. I've thrown a party before." - Shawn R (06/12/2015)
jen pestering shawn about what they need to buy for tomorrow
"This mama ain't doing nothing tonight." "S**t, yeah, you are." - Jen R & Shawn R (05/08/2015)
jen's gonna work some... you know?
"Patrick's beer just went down." - Shawn R (04/11/2015)
"That's okay. She doesn't have to be awake." - Shawn R (03/13/2015)
jen, later, to have sex
"It's a marathon, not a sprint." - Shawn R (03/13/2015)
drinking, jen was having too many
"Just think, the money from your mother and your grandmother is going to pay for that." - Shawn R (03/13/2015)
jen's bob
"It's raining, it's pouring. The old man is snoring." "Shawn's not snoring." "F**k you." - Jen R & Brian C & Shawn R (03/13/2015)
"Sweetie, you still live like you're in your twenties." I am in my twenties." "You're not in your twenties and I didn't call you sweetie." - Shawn R & Brian C (03/13/2015)
"No, I don't want to be in the dog house." - Shawn R (02/28/2015)
by going to tilted kilt for dinner... it's an irish hooters
"This was wet, this was wet... All this was wet." "That's what she said." - Shawn R & Janny M (02/28/2015) 
"This one's dry." "That's what she said." - Shawn R & Janny M (02/28/2015)
"Shawn, I'm missing a card." "You have three, Jen." - Jen R & Shawn R (01/24/2015)
she thought she was playing... it was just the 4 of us
"If she has diarrhea are you going to clean it up?" "Yeah." - Jen R & Shawn R (01/24/2015)
he was really excited about that possibility
"We gotta read some reviews." - Shawn R (01/24/2015)
of a flesh light
"Taking the browns to the superbowl..." - Shawn R (01/24/2015)
"I think I broke Janis." - Shawn R (01/24/2015)
the last quote... i never heard that before
"You should have swam in the Susquehanna river like I did when I was younger." - Shawn R (12/26/2014)
"Why don't they make all of them?" "Cause you'd die." - Janny M & Shawn R (12/26/2014)
flu shots
"I got something hard for you." - Shawn R (12/26/2014)
"There's a couple distilleries where they're allowed to make it." - Shawn R (12/26/2014)
moonshine
"Like that's stopped you before." - Shawn R (11/29/2014)
drinking when having molly to take care of
"What would happen if I threw alcohol on the fire?" "Depends on the proof." - Jen R & Shawn R (11/29/2014)
"The two of you have almost killed a bottle of Gray Goose." - Shawn R (11/29/2014)
it was true
"Give him some pe... pussy." "Did you almost say penis?" - Jen R & Shawn R (11/29/2014)
"Paper will only get you five seconds." "So will sex with Shawn." - Shawn R & Brian C (11/08/2014)
for the fire
"I know. My mom loves that part." - Shawn R (11/08/2014)
terry bradshaw naked in failure to launch
"I fixed the gate. You don't have to karate chop it anymore." - Shawn R (10/04/2014)
"It wouldn't make me." - Shawn R (10/04/2014)
praying mantus during mating
"I got some nuts for you, baby." - Shawn R (10/04/2014)
"She doesn't like being white." - Shawn R (10/04/2014)
"Why can't I hit mctits?" - Shawn R (08/15/2014)
bri's account
"Go get my fluids." "That's what she said." - Shawn R & Janny M (08/15/2014)
"I got a headache." "That's because you're drinking." "No it's because you're talking." - Shawn R & Jen R & Janny M (08/15/2014)
"I told her I'd by a f**king bag and write a bunch of C's on it." - Shawn R (08/15/2014)
jen and her name-brand stuff
"I think I put some Sprite in there just to make it drinkable." - Shawn R (08/15/2014)
his mixed drink
"Janis... let's not piss off the neighbors again." - Shawn R (08/15/2014)
"Julius says no alcohol on global..." "Give me another taste then." - Shawn R & Jen R (08/15/2014)
"It's enough." - Shawn R (07/18/2014)
his... you know...
"You know I've smoked almost a whole cigarette doing this?" - Shawn R (07/18/2014)
giving the goat to jen
"We have shot glasses." "It's beer." - Jen R & Shawn R (07/18/2014)
"What? you think I have a syringe epi in my fridge? This isn't Pulp Fiction." - Shawn R (07/18/2014)
"We'll see." - Shawn R (07/18/2014)
"Only with you guys do I eat meat, actually." "That's what she said." - Janny M & Shawn R (07/05/2014)
"A bunch of s**t. I know you can't say a bunch of s**t." - Shawn R (07/05/2014)
"Now it's down to fifteen... F**k you guys." - Shawn R (07/05/2014)
getting him addicted to a game
"One year a week?" - Shawn R (07/05/2014)
jen & shawn are kid free for a week a year
"Who's the erection?" "I'm the erection." - Shawn R & Mitch Si (07/05/2014)
cah
"I was dead by the end of the night." - Shawn R (06/21/2014)
going four times
"I might buy that." - Shawn R (06/21/2014)
das horn drinking glass
"You're f**king white." - Shawn R (06/21/2014)
jen saying yo
"But then my feet will get cold." "With a flip flop?" - Jen R & Shawn R (06/21/2014)
we were saying if anyone touched their phone they had to take off an article of clothing
"Yeah, I don't feel like being arrested." - Shawn R (06/21/2014)
"They're a lot bigger." "That's what she said." - Shawn R & Janny M (06/21/2014)
birthing balls
"S**t, if he's gonna grill it. Damn." - Shawn R (04/19/2014)
bri was grilling the food for us
"If she was chocking she wouldn't be sitting there calmly." - Shawn R (04/19/2014)
molly caughing
"Put the fork down... Now!" - Shawn R (04/19/2014)
jen threatening bri
"A meme having a stroke." "A mime." - Brian C & Shawn R (04/19/2014)
what's a meme?
"I've seen them. Now you gotta let me touch them." - Shawn R (04/19/2014)
"Penises, penises, and lollipops!" - Shawn R (04/19/2014)
"Am I gonna get laid tonight? It's a valid question." - Shawn R (04/19/2014)
"I did nibble." - Shawn R (04/19/2014)
"Cock always wins. Right, baby?" - Shawn R (04/19/2014)
"No. That gets better with beer." - Shawn R (04/19/2014)
ugly chicks? idk
"This whole game makes you look racist." - Shawn R (04/19/2014)
"Let me just put it this way... Boobies are awesome." - Shawn R (01/26/2014)
"I've had a shot in the butt. It's not fun." - Shawn R (01/26/2014)
"You wouldn't be able to make it into the porn industry, babe." - Shawn R (01/26/2014)
"Out of everyone in this house, I'm the only one legally allowed to cut people." - Shawn R (01/04/2014)
"It's not beer. It doesn't burn." - Shawn R (01/04/2014)
reds apple ale
"They're in quarantine." - Shawn R (01/04/2014)
jen's boobs
"I'll warm 'em up." - Shawn R (01/04/2014)
"Listen homie." "You're fricken white." - Jen R & Shawn R (01/04/2014)
"Go get drunk. Better sex." - Shawn R (12/28/2013)
"I wanna f**k you tonight." - Shawn R (12/28/2013)
"They know me." - Shawn R (12/28/2013)
trying to give jen the goat
"Can I help you?" "Yes." - Jen R & Shawn R (12/28/2013)
"You've said that several times..." - Shawn R (12/28/2013)
"What are you talking about?" "Nothing, Jen. Go back inside." - Jen R & Shawn R (10/12/2013)
"I'm lovin it!" - Shawn R (08/31/2013)
the mcdonalds forks
"A win's a win." - Shawn R (08/31/2013)
"You played with that many balls on a Friday?" - Shawn R (08/31/2013)
a story he told
"That's not funny." "Yeah, it is." - Jen R & Shawn R & Brian C (05/27/2013)
the thing i said, 'yeah it is' said at the same time
"He delivered pizza, not beer." "Oh." - Shawn R & Britney F (05/27/2013)
"You're driving like mommy does." - Shawn R (05/27/2013)
molly in her toy car
"You're white!" - Shawn R (05/27/2013)
jen's slang all night
"So Brian didn't like it?" - Shawn R (04/20/2013)
we picked out a princess bubble thing for molly
"Alright, you're sober. What the hell happened?" - Shawn R (04/20/2013)
the story from jen & i
"We usually have a midget back there..." - Shawn R (04/20/2013)
it was small in their back seat
"That's when you just do it anyway." "I tried." - Janny M & Shawn R (04/20/2013)
"Forty's the ghetto of Fredrick." - Shawn R (04/20/2013)
"You're too young..." - Shawn R (04/20/2013)
"His fat ass can't get above our house." - Shawn R (04/20/2013)
"If she's working, I can't call her." - Shawn R (03/03/2012)
jen's sister works at a restaurant we were looking to go to
"This isn't the boonies." "Yeah, we got a Walmart!" - Jen R & Shawn R (03/03/2012)
"Legally Blonde and Legally Blonde Two? Really?" "Those are Jen's." - Brian C & Shawn R (03/03/2012)
"Just bring it down here." - Shawn R (03/03/2012)
the baby monitor charger since the monitor was ready to run out of batteries
"I want that dolla dolla bill, yeah." - Shawn R (10/22/2011)
i guess it's from a song
"It's on low." - Shawn R (10/22/2011) (pic)
"Here. Run this machine over the lawn and you'll find a treasure." - Shawn R (10/22/2011)
getting kids to do chores
"Aw! Are you going to take that?" "It's true." - Janny M & Shawn R (10/22/2011)
bri was making a joke that he was in the navy
"I'm sure I'll dye soon." - Shawn R (10/22/2011)
"How old is she now?" "I don't know... twenty." - Shawn R & Mitch S (10/22/2011)
his little girl
"You go up there and take a left at the clowns..." - Shawn R (10/22/2011)
"Like the show Prison Break... That doesn't happen in real life." - Shawn R (03/12/2011)
"You know, you're very distracting when I'm feeding our child." - Shawn R (03/12/2011)
jen dancing around
"It was probably Mommy." - Shawn R (11/13/2010)
poop smell
"Where's Shiane's food?" "It's in her stomach." - Shawn R & Jen R (03/20/2010)
dekota ate it
"Don't be dancing to this f**king song, babe." - Shawn R (03/20/2010)
buckcherry - crazy bitch
"The boobies are sore." "The boobies are always sore. I never get to touch them." - Jen R & Shawn R (10/28/2009)
"All I need is lube." - Shawn R (10/17/2009)
to loosen the arms of the drywall lift
"I don't know what those people are doing." "Well look at their license plate, it says it all." - Shawn R & Brian C (10/10/2009)
they were from pennsylvania
"But I need it before the twenty seventh of December." "Yeah, when's Christmas?" - Jen R & Shawn R (10/10/2009)
"Speaking of which, I have to ask when did you have time to film a movie?" - Shawn R (10/09/2009)
shawn saw a movie with a fat guy running naked through a mall
"Can I just watch the f**king show?" - Shawn R (10/09/2009)
jen kept bothering him
"She was going to shove this up your ass... I'm drinking out of it." - Shawn R (10/09/2009)
his beer
"No, I felt like throwing baking soda on the floor." - Shawn R (10/09/2009)
the dog peed
"Jeez, she's cleaning the balcony too... Do you wanna clean my balls, babe?" - Shawn R (10/09/2009)
"That's alcohol abuse!" "That's me drinking it before." - Brian C & Shawn R (10/09/2009)
he drank it before he'd throw it at bri
"Yes, baking soda, buy, we need to." - Shawn R (10/09/2009)
jens obsession
"Did Brian show you his penis that's why you're laughing so much?" - Shawn R (10/09/2009)
"No, it tastes like cock." "You would know best." - Shawn R & Brian C (10/09/2009)
"You better put that laundry away or I'm going to spank you." "Is it going to be a good spanking?" - Jen R & Shawn R (09/25/2009)
"No, we're not going to have f**k time like we did last night." "Wait, I wasn't here last night!" - Jen R & Shawn R (09/25/2009)
LMAO!
"He's got my True Blood!" - Shawn R (09/25/2009)
"No, I call it eating at the Y." - Shawn R (09/25/2009)
"Enzite is the once daily tablet for natural male enhancement." - Shawn R (09/25/2009)
memorized the slogan???
"You can do it, Shawn." - Shawn R (09/18/2009)
cut his wrist cause jen & i were valley girls
"What if they have to go number two?" "Well, they hold that in." - Shawn R & Seth W (09/18/2009)
nascar drivers pee in their cars
"What's the big deal about Ringo? Why does everyone hate Ringo?" "He sung Yellow Submarine." - Shawn R & Seth W (09/18/2009)
"Why do you have to be racist? Why does it have to be the black one?" "Cause it's black." - Brian C & Shawn R (09/12/2009)
the black controller
"No, I'm not giving you kids as sports equipment." - Shawn R (09/12/2009)
sports equipment that starts with a K, my answer = kids
"Will you accept Jared?" - Shawn R (09/12/2009)
things that are round that start with a J
"I'm gonna kill you, you bastard. Cross it off." - Shawn R (09/12/2009)
bri put terrible towel for one of his answers, things @ football games that start with a T
"Alright, things that are soft..." - Shawn R (09/12/2009)
the letter was P... i put down what u might b thinking for almost every answer
"Did you put Pussy Cat Dolls, too?" - Shawn R (09/12/2009)
"I put Shawn's wife." "I'll accept it." - Brian C & Shawn R (09/12/2009)
"Do they have any copies?" "Uh, what do you think I'm holding?" - Jen R & Shawn R (09/11/2009)
copies of dance flick at blockbuster
"Jen's play toy doesn't need batteries." - Shawn R (09/11/2009)
"You're like a live bobble head." - Shawn R (09/07/2009)
jen
"What's the number? Oh, redial." - Shawn R (09/05/2009)
bri just called the same number
"They'll be all over each other." - Shawn R (09/05/2009)
jen & becky
"This better not be reduced." "Yeah, it can't get any smaller." - Janny M & Shawn R (09/05/2009)
talking about bri's thing...
"If you were good then who the hell touched my ass?" - Shawn R (09/05/2009)
"I'm keeping all the fire stuff near me." - Shawn R (09/05/2009)
becky wanted to light things on fire
"I'll give you a facial." - Shawn R (09/05/2009)
too many sex jokes
"What are we talking about?" "Oh, just listen." - Jen R & Shawn R (09/05/2009)
"Spring break in Florida... that's never good." - Shawn R (08/30/2009)
playing life
"A mechanic won the Nobel Prize?" - Shawn R (08/30/2009)
jen won the nobel prize
"It's just like real life." - Shawn R (08/30/2009)
he's poor
"It's two bucks extra for the grip." "F**k the grip." - Shawn R & Brian C (08/29/2009)
buying oil filter
"I got my pants on backward... Easy access for Brian." - Shawn R (08/29/2009)
pajama pants
"Where's the diagrams, damn it?" - Shawn R (08/29/2009)
"That's too small... I know you've heard that a few times." - Shawn R (08/29/2009)
poor bri
"No sucking on the nipples." "It's not fair." - Jen R & Shawn R (08/23/2009)
"I'd rather unmake the bed." - Shawn R (08/15/2009)
"That is such a racist dealership... Coons?" "I don't get it." - Shawn R & Jen R (08/15/2009)
"You only know that because you were watching House Hunters." - Shawn R (08/15/2009)
a city in new mexico
--RESTRICTED QUOTE--
"You going to play without straps?" - Shawn R (08/15/2009)
the guitar rockband
"What's with all the women?" - Shawn R (08/15/2009)
randomly chosen player in rb kept being women 4 shawn
"I've never tried to put a hair brush up my wohoo." "That's not what you've told me." - Jen R & Shawn R (08/15/2009)
"I'm Irish, I don't want to hear about calories in my beer." - Shawn R (08/05/2009)
"I like to eat, eat, eat apples and bananas." "No, that's what Brian likes to eat." - Jen R & Shawn R (08/05/2009)
"I'm incredibly flexible like Jen." "I don't think you could be with that gut." - Brian C & Shawn R (08/05/2009)
"You're the one who's writing these down. We're not supposed to remember." - Shawn R (08/02/2009)
i forgot a quote said from dinner
"Shawn, I'm gonna be on YouTube." "...Oh, wonderful." - Jen R & Shawn R (08/01/2009)
i got video of her doing something funky
"I'm coming out so..." - Shawn R (08/01/2009)
we knew it!
"I think my wife just goosed your wife." - Shawn R (08/01/2009)
talking to corey, jen felt brie up
"I gotta gay friend, so..." - Shawn R (08/01/2009)
pointing to brian
"The only person who might get some is Becky." - Shawn R (08/01/2009)
from jen
"Your husband might be gay but I'm not." - Shawn R (08/01/2009)
talking about bri
"Why don't you just like touch her?" - Shawn R (08/01/2009)
becky on jen
"For being drunk, that was pretty f**king fast." - Shawn R (08/01/2009)
"Yeah it is. Do you wanna see?" - Shawn R (07/31/2009)
regarding the previous quote
"Yeah, she'll show them to me but I'm not allowed to touch them." - Shawn R (07/31/2009)
"What's in your pants? It's hurting me." "My phone... my cock..." "Naw, that wouldn't hurt... too small." - Janny M & Brian C & Shawn R (07/31/2009)
"Two pi... They're playing Black Jack." "This is a comedy." - Janny M & Shawn R (07/27/2009)
the hangover
"Like I said last night, you married me." "I ask myself why everyday." - Jen R & Shawn R (07/26/2009)
"I'm not special like that." "Oh, you're special." - Jen R & Shawn R (07/26/2009)
"I'm not a logical person." "We know." - Jen R & Janny M & Shawn R (07/26/2009)
last part said at the same time
"You bought another Transformer?" "I bought two." "Do they have penises too?" - Janny M & Shawn R (07/24/2009)
"She wants to dance with someone who just put their entire hand in the cake?" "Shut up and watch." - Janny M & Shawn R (07/24/2009)
transformers 2
"I love this guy." "The dog? Yeah, the dog is cute." - Shawn R & Janny M (07/24/2009)
"What's crowded?" "I don't f**king know, I'm drinking a beer." - Janny M & Shawn R (07/24/2009)
jen was complaining something was crowded
"Jen, how would you like it if we took your toy and threw it in your face?" "She probably wouldn't do anything with it." - Brian C & Shawn R (07/24/2009)
ohhh!
"That's the penis robot." - Shawn R (07/24/2009)
"Oh my God. She actually let me touch them!" - Shawn R (07/19/2009)
jen let him touch something
"I really don't want to hear about trimming your bush." - Shawn R (07/12/2009)
bri needs to trim the bushes in the front lawn
"Me and Brian are going to be in the bedroom..." - Shawn R (07/11/2009)
he actually said this normally, not joking
"Could you quit making the fallen masturbate?" - Shawn R (07/11/2009) (pic)
"You've had like five shots of blue wave vodka." - Shawn R (07/11/2009)
"I was just sitting in it." - Shawn R (07/11/2009) (pic)
his chair broke
"She was staring at your tits." "What tits?" - Shawn R & Jen R (07/10/2009)
"She caught a fifteen inch bass." "I'm sure as soon as she did she said 'I wish Shawn was this big'." - Shawn R & Brian C (07/10/2009)
jen
"You were petting me like a dog and calling me a dog... And now you're doing it again." - Shawn R (07/10/2009)
"I assumed you'd remember food... You're a fat man." - Shawn R (06/22/2009)
"Bri, you wanna shake this up for me? I know you're good at this motion." - Shawn R (06/19/2009)
u know what motion
"So she cusses like a sailor, so she's definitely not a mouth virgin." - Shawn R (06/14/2009)
jen
"If anything, I'll get struck by lightening because of my giant rod." "...Huh?" - Shawn R & Jen R (06/13/2009)
"What? It's a crack?" - Shawn R (06/13/2009)
"It's way late for an Easter Lilly." "Well, yeah, it's June." - Janny M & Shawn R (06/13/2009)
"Can we have sex?" - Shawn R (06/13/2009)
"Well, she's probably used to Bri wearing something girly." - Shawn R (06/05/2009)
me
"It's true." - Shawn R (06/02/2009)
it's easier to blame some1 else when ur in the hospitol
"Yeah, because I don't want a wave to come and knock it off." - Shawn R (05/30/2009)
jens bathing suit
"Are you in there puking like a light weight?" - Shawn R (05/30/2009)
bri bri got plastered
"What? That's the first time I'm hearing that." - Shawn R (05/24/2009)
rosie
"I'm gonna stab your wife." - Shawn R (05/24/2009)
"...When my happy ass is up at five A M in the morning." - Shawn R (05/24/2009)
i was bragging that i wake up @ 7:20
"I actually had some nachos." - Shawn R (05/23/2009)
"No, when the spider gets to any size, I smash." - Shawn R (05/23/2009)
wolf spider in dad's house!
"What'd you say? I just heard I'm gonna go strip." - Shawn R (05/23/2009)
strip the bed
"They probably did it in the parking lot at Walmart." - Shawn R (05/20/2009)
talking about bri & i
"I'm not eating any meat." "Sorry, Brian." - Janny M & Shawn R (05/20/2009)
i'm a vegetarian for a week
"This episode is just full of s**t that's pissing me off." - Shawn R (05/04/2009)
house
"I've got another hunk of meat but no one wants to eat that." - Shawn R (05/03/2009)
"We're grilling... We need beer." - Shawn R (05/03/2009)
"Yes, I'm going to grope myself... eh, yeah!" - Shawn R (05/02/2009)
"There's probably cans of corn out there from World War Two." - Shawn R (04/26/2009)
"I heard naked woman." - Shawn R (04/26/2009)
"When did T O get here?" - Shawn R (04/18/2009)
someone missed a catch playing football
"Wow, you can see that from space!" - Shawn R (04/18/2009)
1 of the highlights of the party
"No one wants to go into that guys chest again." - Shawn R (04/18/2009)
cheney
"Yeah, it's really hard, all you have to do is pour it into a glass." - Shawn R (04/18/2009)
"The only super hero named after a pervert... Oh wait, that was Streak." - Shawn R (04/17/2009)
the flash
"Who's the D D?" The designated drunk?" - Brian C & Shawn R (04/11/2009)
"If I have to get on there again..." - Shawn R (04/11/2009)
that dude wouldn't go down!
"Whoever created this Seth character should be kicked in the nuts." - Shawn R (04/11/2009)
"No, you can't block those you bastard." - Shawn R (04/11/2009)
"That guy looks like he has the Steelers logo on his face." "I'll kill him." "Like you did Seth." - Janny M & Shawn R (04/11/2009)
"Don't mention third and one to me." - Shawn R (04/11/2009)
"Who's anal?" - Shawn R (04/10/2009)
"Okay, new song." - Shawn R (04/10/2009)
"Yeah, they're gonna kill House." - Shawn R (04/06/2009)
"Cookie? She burns all of the cookies." - Shawn R (04/04/2009)
jen does
"I got something that's everlong." - Shawn R (04/04/2009)
"You better not pass out, I wanna do something to you later." - Shawn R (04/04/2009)
jen was drunk
"Wow, I haven't heard that since elementary school." - Shawn R (04/03/2009)
his last name is rearden so bri made fun of it
"When you have to sit there and explain it..." - Shawn R (04/03/2009)
not a good joke
"Betsy sounds like a fat cow. No wonder Brian was interested." - Shawn R (04/03/2009)
"Is Betsy a sheep?" - Shawn R (04/03/2009)
"Her eyes are already messed up." - Shawn R (03/20/2009)
i told jen to look @ dimitri
"I'm Irish, I've picked up tricks." - Shawn R (03/20/2009)
"I'd pay to see that." "What? Six men in a tub?" - Jen R & Shawn R (03/14/2009)
"What is it, ass clown?" - Shawn R (03/10/2009)
"I'm having my eye cut open." "You don't have to rub it in." - Jen R & Shawn R (03/04/2009)
jen is getting alll next week off
"This is mens work right now." - Shawn R (02/27/2009)
him & bri were in the kitchen cooking
"You wanna exclude Brian? He sucks remember?" "Thanks." "You're welcome, buddy." - Shawn R & Brian C (02/27/2009)
"Oh, Bri, you wanna get in my pants?" - Shawn R (02/20/2009)
"I prefer the breast... oh wait. We're talking about chicken." - Shawn R (02/13/2009)
"Hey!" "Well, you wanted me to put it in your mouth." - Shawn R & Brian C (02/13/2009)
"You can't use your energy when you're dead." - Shawn R (02/10/2009)
rock band 2
"Am I the only one worried about my eternal soul?" - Shawn R (02/10/2009)
we kept saying cheesus crust
"Where are we going?" "To hell." - Janny M & Shawn R (02/06/2009)
"Quit scheduling your lip waxing." - Shawn R (02/06/2009)
person driving on a cell phone
"Yeah, Jen, a little tact when everyone comes over." - Shawn R (02/01/2009)
"Wrong bird." - Shawn R (02/01/2009)
jen rooting for the cards
"And that guy's fat too." - Shawn R (02/01/2009)
"How would a giant tiger open a gate?" - Shawn R (02/01/2009)
how commercials are unrealistic
"I wanna get laid so we're going to bed early." - Shawn R (01/31/2009)
"Why would someone rob you in the Museum Of Crime And Punishment?" - Shawn R (01/25/2009)
"Hey, don't mess with my head... Hey! Don't mess with that head either." - Shawn R (01/24/2009)
"Thinking confuses Jen." - Shawn R (01/24/2009)
"Baby, it's about to get X rated in here." - Shawn R (01/24/2009)
"It's not like skiing, that's the problem." "Well, no s**t." - Brian C & Shawn R (01/24/2009)
"I could go out and sell my body but I'm not sure how much I'll get for it." - Shawn R (01/20/2009)
"Do we get to see some nuts?" "Doubtful." - Janny M & Shawn R (01/19/2009)
house
"I met some people who were just like me." "What? Lazy?" - Brian C & Shawn R (01/18/2009)
at his class
"I've been eating nachos on this drive." - Shawn R (01/18/2009)
"Put your hat back on, what the hell?" - Shawn R (01/18/2009)
maybe the eagles would win
"It's all because I'm eating nachos!" - Shawn R (01/18/2009)
"F**king virgins." - Shawn R (01/17/2009)
american pie
"You're a fricken druggie!" - Shawn R (01/16/2009)
"Janny, that was the wrong time to say that." "Why?" "Cause I was playing..." - Shawn R & Janny M (01/16/2009)
the last quote
"It kinda sounds the same..." - Shawn R (01/16/2009)
talking about the last quote
"F**k easy." "Shawn, what are you on?" "Medium." - Shawn R & Jen R (01/16/2009)
lol only medium???
"Who are you now? The three musketeers, bitch?" - Shawn R (01/11/2009)
coughlin said all for 1 and 1 for all
"Interception! Oh!" "...They punted." - Janny M & Jen R & Shawn R (01/11/2009)
jen & i said the first part together
"Please don't get Shiane drunk." - Shawn R (01/11/2009)
"F**k you and the towels!" - Shawn R (01/11/2009)
"This has tits in it, doesn't it?" "It has Anna Farris in it so probably." - Brian C & Shawn R (01/10/2009)
house bunny after the games
"That was me getting a bottle down, Candi." - Shawn R (01/10/2009)
candi barked cause she thought someone was at the door
"Shawn, what do you have between your legs?" "Balls." - Brian C & Shawn R (01/08/2009)
"Later, I'll be the top performer." - Shawn R (01/04/2009)
rock band, but he didn't mean that
"Touchdown Atlanta." "Yeah, I heard it when it said 'Ryan fakes, fires, touchdown Atlanta'." - Jen R & Shawn R (01/03/2009)
"How many has she had?" "One..." - Janny M & Shawn R (01/03/2009)
jens a light weight
"That is some good sex... The legs aren't in the way." - Shawn R (01/03/2009)
oka...
"You're drinking a Mike's Hard Lemonade, you're not a man." - Shawn R (01/03/2009)
bri
"Am I slightly more manly now that I've taken a shot of vodka?" "It's apple vodka!" - Brian C & Shawn R (01/03/2009)
"What? You need to be sober to write 'apple vodka'?" - Shawn R (01/03/2009)
preparing a beer run list
"Take a warm shot, you fricken pussy!" - Shawn R (01/03/2009)
"I know you're getting a hard on from George there half naked." - Shawn R (01/03/2009)
george clooney
"So that's why you're getting fatter." - Shawn R (01/01/2009)
bri works at sudexo building
"Dude, it's Einstein." - Shawn R (12/23/2008)
guy who looked like einstein
"No throwing the microphone... We've learned." - Shawn R (12/19/2008)
jen already broke one
"Woh, that's my phone." - Shawn R (12/15/2008)
jen wanted to throw the phone @ bri for a comment
"If you're going to sexually molest a twinkie in front of me..." - Shawn R (12/15/2008)
"I'm sorry but I really don't want Mariah Carry on my I pod." - Shawn R (12/13/2008)
"I feel like I've beat off for an hour." - Shawn R (12/12/2008)
drums on rock band
"Blah... Garble.." "Swallow." - Jen R & Shawn R (12/12/2008)
jen talking with a mouthful
"I was actually trying to sing the words... You were just going danananananananananana make up..." - Shawn R (12/12/2008)
"That was on expert?" "Yeah, why do you think we were failing so fast?" - Jen R & Shawn R (12/12/2008)
"It's the Huff!" - Shawn R (11/30/2008)
"Look, they have the condom caps!" - Shawn R (11/28/2008)
xbox avatars
"So that's why they're so bad. Everyone knows their secret play!" - Shawn R (11/27/2008)
seahawks expedia commercial
"Brian, they're bigger than Dolly Parton's." - Shawn R (11/25/2008)
bri's boobs
"Whatever. Unrealistic." "Seriously?" - Janny M & Shawn R (11/25/2008)
fred claus delivered presents in 1 night w/o gps
"I'm sure they sell salsa juice." - Shawn R (11/23/2008)
"Oh my God, there's actually people in the seats!" - Shawn R (11/23/2008)
miami game
"So did they have to use the Pirates Of The Caribbean theme?" "Yeah, that did sound familiar." - Shawn R & Janny M (11/18/2008)
australia movie
"I think the problem with Pittsburgh is with Colon right now. He's really taking it like a champ... They're riding him raw." - Shawn R (11/03/2008)
colon jokes
"Seriously, where's the house? Where's the house cause I wanna burn it down!" - Shawn R (11/03/2008)
"Cause you could picture that as her voice." - Shawn R (11/03/2008)
lottery woman commercial where she sings like a dude
"You can't play like 'oh, well kick a field goal and maybe we'll get it back'." - Shawn R (11/02/2008)
cowboys, giving advice
"I don't know anything about the eye." "You don't know it's general location?" - Shawn R & Brian C (10/24/2008)
"Yes, cause hitting me will produce food." - Shawn R (10/24/2008)
"Okay, I wanna buy some clothes when you're done." "Why? You're topless!" - Jen R & Shawn R (10/24/2008)
rock band
"Madden dyes his eyebrows!" - Shawn R (10/12/2008)
"Baby, would you like me to take a picture of my nuts and send it to your phone?" - Shawn R (10/12/2008)
"I want a hybrid Mustang." - Shawn R (10/09/2008)
"Really, you feel an interception? I feel a first down." - Shawn R (10/05/2008)
"We can't watch an Eagles Redskins game without Brian saying something." "I know it's usually f**k, damn..." - Janny M & Shawn R (10/05/2008)
"What's a matter, Brian? You don't wanna watch it?" - Shawn R (10/05/2008)
laugh was on us
"Stop talking to me, I've got wings to eat." - Shawn R (10/05/2008)
madden & his food
"Baby, baby... Ow!" - Shawn R (09/30/2008)
jen trying to get bri
"Stop talking a*sholes cause everything you say comes true." - Shawn R (09/28/2008)
commentators
"Yeah, it's four words." - Shawn R (09/21/2008)
i told u so
"Him, I got lucky with." - Shawn R (09/21/2008)
"It's not like you're right about Wheel Of Fortune or the lottery or something." "Yeah..." - Janny M & Shawn R (09/20/2008)
about jen
"You have herpes, you're just not having an outbreak right now." - Shawn R (09/19/2008)
"Well, yeah, from Satan's mouth wash." - Shawn R (09/19/2008)
a shot shawn tried, buzzed
"Everybody becomes Disney's bitch." - Shawn R (09/16/2008)
"If he wasn't such a fat ass, he probably could have gone all the way." - Shawn R (09/04/2008)
lineman i'm sure
"Okay, we quit last Thursday so how has it been five days?" - Shawn R (09/04/2008)
it's been a week, jen, lol
"Now I have to go bitch to the leaning office." "Why?" "Cause she wants to bitch." - Jen R & Brian C & Shawn R (09/04/2008)
"Brian, drop that stuff off and head back up there." - Shawn R (09/01/2008)
bri just got down
"Did you just try to grab his penis?" - Shawn R (09/01/2008)
bri rubbed marc's belly 4 luck
"Listen you little alcoholic, stop. I'm not talking to you." - Shawn R (08/23/2008)
shawn looking at shiane then said he wasn't talking to jess
"Did you just break my blender?" - Shawn R (08/23/2008)
"The spoon got messed up." "The spoon? Why do you have a spoon in there?" - Jessica A & Shawn R (08/23/2008)
jess put a spoon in the blender
"I fricken got alcohol on my Korn!" - Shawn R (08/23/2008)
jess helped shawn drink during guitar hero, he got alcohol on his korn guitar
"I don't like my microphone." "Why because it doesn't have a dent in it?" - Jen R & Shawn R (08/13/2008)
"We're going to take a break after this... I'm about to get f**ked." - Shawn R (08/13/2008)
hard song on rock band
"What do you get from eating raw fish?" "Disentary." - Brian C & Shawn R (08/09/2008)
"A wife actually telling her husband to drink? Wow." - Shawn R (08/08/2008)
"Someone go to exit." "What color's that?" - Shawn R & Jessica A (08/08/2008)
playing rock band, lol, it's not a color!
"You like foreplay?" "Jen just likes to get right in the action." - Jen R & Shawn R (07/24/2008)
"No, you're sucking it like a little boy in a church." "Why do you have to describe what you did last weekend?" - Shawn R & Marc G (07/12/2008)
"Candi just stood there in the grass." "She wants more excitement in her life." "Take her sky diving." - Brian C & Janny M & Shawn R (07/11/2008)
"Janis, look, I'm blowing my drink." - Shawn R (07/11/2008)
"Right now he's probably in the middle of getting laid." "You think? Let's go knock!" - Shawn R & Janny M (07/11/2008)
"it looks remotely like a penis... a penis with six balls." - Shawn R (06/21/2008)
"Are we on meter parking?" "I don't know. Is the meter invisible?" - Jen R & Shawn R (06/20/2008)
"Alright, march." "Don't say that." - Brian C & Shawn R (06/20/2008)
since he was in the navy
"Get ready to chug!" - Shawn R (06/20/2008)
jens drink was going to explode
"Then why do I get spanked for agreeing with you? I mean, I like it, but..." - Shawn R (06/15/2008)
jen spanked shawn for agreeing w/ her
"I hope Honest Bob gets the clap." - Shawn R (06/15/2008)
that annoying song, i get by
"Is it going to be too hard for you to have sexy time tonight?" "No, I don't have to use my arm for that." - Jen R & Shawn R (06/12/2008)
he hurt his arm
"Look Janis, I have ten pound balls!" - Shawn R (06/07/2008)
"Well what do you want me to do? Pull a nine out of my ass?" - Shawn R (06/07/2008)
"It's not done like that." - Shawn R (06/07/2008)
corey threw a gutter ball
"That was just a bad throw." - Shawn R (06/07/2008)
"Maybe I'll hit some pins now." - Shawn R (06/07/2008)
"Everybody else is in the forties and I'm in the twenties." - Shawn R (06/07/2008)
shawn's bowling score
"Isn't there a terrorist plot you're supposed to be planning?" - Shawn R (06/07/2008)
bri was doing so well compared to everyone else
"So, what is it like being the size of a great whale?" - Shawn R (06/07/2008)
insults to bri
"Now I recognize you. You're the one Hancock threw into the ocean!" - Shawn R (06/07/2008)
bri
"Yeah, that worked. Thanks, Brian." - Shawn R (06/07/2008)
another gutter ball
"Suck on that, b***h!" - Shawn R (06/07/2008)
he got 9 down
"Brian's really going to like it cause there's a lot of gay parts in it." - Shawn R (06/07/2008)
meet the spartins
"It's like eating Styrofoam." - Shawn R (05/31/2008)
some food at the buffet
"What does that entail?" "F**king the fault." - Shawn R & Brian C (05/31/2008)
shawn made a lame joke
"Now don't get so drunk that you don't wanna have sex with me tonight." - Shawn R (05/31/2008)
talking to jen
"This makes you think more." "Exactly! We're drunk!" - Marc G & Shawn R (05/31/2008)
a texas holdem game marc taught us
"You're asking a drunk man to catch." - Shawn R (05/31/2008)
"I like having sex at night cause it's dark." "Yeah, that way she can't see me." - Jen R & Shawn R (05/26/2008)
"So I'm not allowed to have sex unless it's an orgy?" - Shawn R (05/26/2008)
"Sweetie, I don't think these are mine." - Shawn R (05/26/2008)
jen's underwear
"Why is his penis in my pocket?" - Shawn R (05/10/2008)
"Come on, Foreplay, Foreplay, Foreplay!" - Shawn R (05/10/2008)
"On guard! ...I know it's about the size of yours." - Shawn R (05/09/2008)
little plastic sward 4 drinks
"It feels like I've been beating off for four hours." - Shawn R (05/04/2008)
"So you've been practicing Foreplay?" - Shawn R (05/04/2008)
the song
"You're not a f**king gangster... You're Indian." - Shawn R (05/02/2008)
"Yeah, I can wait." - Shawn R (04/28/2008)
burger king commercial
"No, you were right before, it was him and Brandon." - Shawn R (04/25/2008)
brian's phone call or something
"Yes, I've earned my red wings." - Shawn R (04/19/2008)
u don't wanna know
"It's sex... not sexual intercourse. You make it sound like a text book." - Shawn R (04/19/2008)
"Damn, can't get my fingers to work." "You got them to work earlier." - Shawn R & Jen R (04/19/2008)
"It's like if Guinness and Budd had a bastard child." - Shawn R (04/18/2008)
irish red i think
"Do I need to prove it to you?" "No." - Jen R & Shawn R (04/18/2008)
jen talking to bri about the size of her boobs
"Yeah cause you're a closet." - Shawn R (04/18/2008)
talking about bri
"Finally, he's in a bass grove, oop, nope." "Had to say something, dick head." - Brian C & Shawn R (04/12/2008)
"For you two, it's Janis doesn't know." - Shawn R (04/11/2008)
scottie doesn't know
"I'm going to borrow the bathroom a minute." "Where are you going to take it?" - Janny M & Shawn R (04/11/2008)
"Baby, you need to stand up a second... You're crushing someone..." - Shawn R (04/11/2008)
"Yeah, cause four goes after two." - Shawn R (03/30/2008)
"Many people had too much steak in Enron." "Another cheesy joke like that and I'm going to slit your throat." - Brian C & Shawn R (03/28/2008)
"You know this is a family restaurant, right?" - Shawn R (03/28/2008)
"Do you want this up your ass? I can buy a new drumstick." - Shawn R (03/25/2008)
"What? Your nipples get horny when you're hard?" - Shawn R (03/24/2008)
"Why isn't mine reclining?" "Because you have a dogs ass in front of it." - Jen R & Shawn R (03/21/2008)
"That was pineapple juice?" "Not anymore." - Brian C & Shawn R (03/15/2008)
it was gross
"Yes there is, the sour apple mix is non alcoholic!" - Shawn R (03/15/2008)
his f**k u up drink
"No robot. I'll have to kick you in the nuts." - Shawn R (03/15/2008)
"I just got kicked in the face." - Shawn R (03/15/2008)
"Atda! You'll break my recliner." - Shawn R (03/14/2008)
me & marc & brin on it
"Come on, Brian." - Shawn R (03/11/2008)
rockband, bri didn't have any notes
"It says airman." - Shawn R (03/08/2008)
we pumped up one of the tires of the dolly, it was tire sealant, we thought it was air!
"Who's that sexy man down there?" "Where?" "Why are you looking at me like that?" - Janny M & Brian C & Shawn R (03/08/2008)
"How did we not get the fifth star?" "I don't know." "It can't be the alcohol..." - Janny M & Shawn R (02/15/2008)
"It's on its last leg... and we got it a week ago." - Shawn R (02/02/2008)
jen breaks microphones
"Uh, we got five stars before the guitar solo." - Shawn R (02/02/2008)
"You don't have oh s**t handles... You have a hook... I'll break a finger." - Shawn R (02/01/2008)
brian driving
"He's gonna have to go to therapy for all your beatings." "What do you mean going to?" - Shawn R & Marc G (02/01/2008)
"I need my drink... I really do." - Shawn R (02/01/2008)
marc & jen at it
"It's Beastie Boys, what do you expect?" - Shawn R (01/30/2008)
that song was stupid!
"That's disgusting... a fat man running." - Shawn R (01/29/2008)
brian
"Start beating off more... it'll give you that fore arm strength." - Shawn R (01/24/2008)
to bri
"Come on, we're husband and wife." "No s**t." - Jen R & Shawn R (01/20/2008)
jen wants to be burried next to shawn
"No, Jen, they're making fun of you." "... Oh..." - Shawn R & Jen R (01/20/2008)
"I was gonna say... The guy's black. I don't think it's Terry's kid." - Shawn R (01/20/2008)
"Fourth down, I think." "Yeah, that's what usually goes after third." - Brian C & Shawn R (01/20/2008)
"Hoochie Mama would have been a better name." - Shawn R (01/20/2008)
than cleatus for the fox robot
"Dude, this is flavored ice." - Shawn R (01/19/2008)
marc was complaining that the pop scicle is fattening
"Okay, you don't have to repeat what the parrot says." - Shawn R (01/12/2008)
tv commercial
"Don't f**k up, don't f**k up, don't f**k up, don't f**k up... there you go." - Shawn R (01/12/2008)
yelling at the tv (football)
"You were talking about brains?" - Shawn R (01/12/2008)
"When the defense is on the field they're yelling 'Go Brett Go'?" - Shawn R (01/12/2008)
"Okay the fat man does not need to dance like that." - Shawn R (01/12/2008)
linebacker dancing after a stop
"You'd be dead, buddy. Those aren't air tight." - Shawn R (01/12/2008)
toyota truck commericial where it's on an asteroid
"I'm trying to numb the pain right now." - Shawn R (01/12/2008)
the pats r going to win
"You think? No, they're gonna keep everybody." - Shawn R (01/12/2008)
miami dolphins fired their couching staff
"If you make it, he will drink." - Shawn R (01/12/2008)
"Wasn't he just in Green Bay?" - Shawn R (01/12/2008)
one of the refs
"No, it's terms of endearment not sexual screams." - Shawn R (01/12/2008)
"Usually with star power you try to hit the notes to get more points." - Shawn R (01/11/2008)
bri playing guitar hero
"You guys cream my ass in rockband so..." "Cream your ass? We play together!" - Brian C & Shawn R (01/11/2008)
"Hey are you on his team?" - Shawn R (01/11/2008)
jen rooting for bri in darts
"Stay straight." "That's hard for Brian." - Shawn R & Marc G (01/11/2008)
directions
"Dude, you're striking out." "I'm not trying to strike." - Shawn R & Marc G (01/11/2008)
the waittress
"Hell yeah, I'm going to give her a tip." "No, you're going to write your phone number on a piece of paper and give it to her." - Marc G & Shawn R (01/11/2008)
"Stop pleasuring the straw." - Shawn R (01/11/2008)
"She heard the wrong part of that." "Actually, I didn't hear anything." - Shawn R & Waittress At TGI Friday's 1/11/08 (01/11/2008)
"And if I say something like that you get mad at me." "That's because you know how." - Shawn R & Brian C (01/09/2008)
jen was saying she's going to cut open her dog
"I swear it's our new outfits." - Shawn R (01/08/2008)
we rocked @ rockband
"F**k that. It's got Highway Star." - Shawn R (01/07/2008)
rockband
"F**k you, Mississippi Queen!" - Shawn R (01/06/2008)
we beat it
"Yeah! Slam his ass down! Break his f**king arm!" - Shawn R (01/05/2008)
"We don't wanna see you... That's why you're in a booth." - Shawn R (01/05/2008)
the comentators
"Yay, let's whip a yellow towel around. Yeah, we're cool." - Shawn R (01/05/2008)
making fun of the steelers fans
"Can you hand me my seat belt?" - Shawn R (01/04/2008)
tiny car
"I'm Irish, of course I'm going to drink the Jamenson." - Shawn R (01/01/2008)
"Don't make me hit you with this giant... soft... pillow." - Shawn R (01/01/2008)
"Yeah, you could get a potato infection..." - Shawn R (12/31/2007)
bri hurt himself pealing potatos
"What are you concocting?" "I don't know, but it's going to have Jamenson in it." - Janny M & Shawn R (12/31/2007)
"The drink is called a 'F**k You Up'." - Shawn R (12/31/2007)
"You went to blow bubbles out of your crack?" "Er." - Shawn R & Janny M (12/31/2007)
cracker
"Oh, what the f**k, a black boy does not need a mo hawk!" - Shawn R (12/31/2007)
"Yeah, the next one's going to be American Pie This Is A Porno." - Shawn R (12/24/2007)
another sequel to american pie
"Shawn, why do I keep using the word whore?" "I don't know." "Self description?" - Jen R & Shawn R & Brian C (12/24/2007)
"What are you doing?" "Putting on a show." "It's a show I don't wanna see." - Shawn R & Brian C (12/23/2007)
bri & i making out
"No, you don't have a fricken grenade in the middle ages!" - Shawn R (12/23/2007)
"Okay, you throw her on my nuts." - Shawn R (12/23/2007)
"Me and my nuts have gotten a lot of quotes." - Shawn R (12/23/2007)
"Hard earned money? All you do is spank a monkey all day." - Shawn R (12/20/2007)
"That's what I get for you tickling me in the nuts?" - Shawn R (12/20/2007)
"It's a fricken butter knife." "It's a sharp butter knife." - Shawn R & Marc G (12/18/2007)
"Why do they always talk about penetration in this game?" - Shawn R (12/16/2007)
"Don't you have a yard to mow?" - Shawn R (12/16/2007)
talking to marc
"I liked it... Yeah it didn't have any plot but..." - Shawn R (12/09/2007)
superbad
"Move her, move her... She's on my nuts... move her!" - Shawn R (12/09/2007)
dekota
"F**k, why are we all texting each other?" - Shawn R (12/09/2007)
all 4 of us were txting one another, we were all in the same room
"Brian, she's going to call you Brett tonight." - Shawn R (12/09/2007)
me lol
"You weren't saying that the last event when you beat my ass." - Shawn R (12/08/2007)
marc complaining that the sonic/mario olympic game was right hand biast
"Are they non man sized?" - Shawn R (12/08/2007)
marc still has those pony bottles, lol
"Yeah, we've learned to compromise. I do whatever the hell she wants." - Shawn R (12/08/2007)
"Marc? That's a f**kin insult!" - Shawn R (12/08/2007)
bri accidently called shawn marc
"Okay, Samuel L..." - Shawn R (12/08/2007)
jen kept saying samuel l's tag line
"No!" - Shawn R (12/07/2007)
he missed in wii bowling
"Are you taking pleasure from my cookies?" - Shawn R (12/07/2007)
"Look, I don't want it from Shawn anyway." "That's not what you said the other day." - Brian C & Shawn R (12/02/2007)
"Hey, don't be talking to Shiane like that." - Shawn R (12/02/2007)
bri calling shiane a skank or something
"Pretty please with sugar on top and I'll spoon with you later?" "Eww, Shawn!" - Shawn R & Jen R (11/29/2007)
"It's a vagina doctor, alright?" - Shawn R (11/27/2007)
"Alright, slut, you don't have to shake it." "She's a cheerleader!" - Jen R & Shawn R (11/25/2007)
"I got your tongue." "Ow!" - Jen R & Shawn R (11/25/2007)
"I'm only gonna give him a concussion." - Shawn R (11/25/2007)
brian making fun of shawn's... size
"I think you're gonna scream anyway, aren't you?" "Yeah, that's what I was about to say." - Janny M & Shawn R (11/25/2007)
jen getting discouraged about the game
"Where did my beer go?" "Up my butt and around the corner." "It's not going to taste very good then." - Shawn R & Jen R (11/23/2007)
"Eww, Shawn, he's putting his ass in my face." "He's trying to make me look at his ass, okay?" - Jen R & Shawn R (11/23/2007)
"I want the Broncos." "I want the Titans." "I want the Eagles." - Brian C & Janny M & Shawn R (11/19/2007)
mnf, eagles weren't playing
"Don't ever say that in my house again!" - Shawn R (11/19/2007)
brian said good things about the pats
"Well... It's possible... I'd just have to charge some people." - Shawn R (11/19/2007)
54 super bowl tickets
"I'm hungry! Stop showing food commercials!" - Shawn R (11/18/2007)
"So it'll be called twelve this season." - Shawn R (11/18/2007)
24 can't have any more new episodes bc of the writters strike
"There's a priest, right?" "Oh, God." - Brian C & Shawn R (11/18/2007)
a joke
"Why are we staring at a man's package?" - Shawn R (11/18/2007)
"That's a good arm... for a girl." - Shawn R (11/17/2007)
bri's throw
"No, I don't wanna look, alright?" - Shawn R (11/17/2007)
"It's not a horror movie. It's got Hillary Duff in it." - Shawn R (11/17/2007)
"I was gonna say, hopefully his stick is in his pants." - Shawn R (11/17/2007)
"Who cares? We got Comcast." - Shawn R (11/14/2007)
bri was jelous about fios
"If you're lucky, you might get some." "Oh, it's a Wednesday!" - Jen R & Shawn R (11/14/2007)
we all know what
"Brian, your penis is showing... Jen looked." "Jen!" - Janny M & Shawn R (11/14/2007)
"No, he wears a bro." - Shawn R (11/11/2007)
a male bra
"How do you f**k up an extra point, man?" - Shawn R (11/11/2007)
the redskins did it
"We're the fattest country in America." - Shawn R (11/11/2007)
"Right here... I got Mexican champagne." - Shawn R (11/11/2007)
corona
"Looks like a midget running." - Shawn R (11/11/2007)
the guy was 5 6
"Tastes a little interesting with the Misses Butterworths, but that's a whiskey sour." - Shawn R (11/10/2007)
"Are you going to turn the burner on?" "I was planning to." - Shawn R & Seth W (11/10/2007)
there was a piece of paper on it
"Go mow someone's lawn!" - Shawn R (11/10/2007)
talking to marc of course
"I know what would make you happy..." - Shawn R (11/09/2007)
rubbed marc's nipples cause he was mad
"No, that turns you guys into forbidden fruit." - Shawn R (11/09/2007)
leslie's x told her not to see us
"And why wouldn't you want to drown that out with alcohol?" - Shawn R (11/09/2007)
marc was really mad
"This coming from the person who beats him regularly." - Shawn R (11/09/2007)
"He's been inside me twice." - Shawn R (11/09/2007)
lol, a doctor
"Damn it... I was gonna eat that." - Shawn R (11/09/2007)
food fell
"F**king transformers..." - Shawn R (11/09/2007)
"Leave the guy alone... she's in a bad mood." "Well obviously not if he texted 'something cool just happened'." - Jen R & Shawn R (11/09/2007)
"Well don't kick him. Smacking is one thing." - Shawn R (11/04/2007)
"Honey, you gotta call Little Seneca." "Yeah, they're kinda closed today." - Jen R & Shawn R (11/04/2007)
it was sunday
"I didn't have three... I had four." - Shawn R (11/04/2007)
endless shrimp servings that one night
"Oh, nice block. You can tear an A C L with that." - Shawn R (11/04/2007)
colts blocked a pats player
"He tried to pull his pants down!" - Shawn R (11/04/2007)
"He had to redo his mascara cause it was running." - Shawn R (11/04/2007)
tom brady
"Ah! F**king hit my gum!" - Shawn R (11/04/2007)
did a jello shooter
"Oh, come on, those things are easy to push." - Shawn R (11/04/2007)
football tackle thing, commercial
"Why do I hear her screaming?" - Shawn R (11/01/2007)
he could hear jen screaming from all the way at their appt
"It's nine thirty. It's not fungal." - Shawn R (10/30/2007)
house
"It's such a random route." - Shawn R (10/29/2007)
mnf
"Are they talking about breast exams on Monday night football?" - Shawn R (10/29/2007)
"Jen, stop beating people with the Ireland book." - Shawn R (10/29/2007)
"At least we didn't have to clean up puke this time." - Shawn R (10/28/2007)
lol
"I got my beer didn't I?" - Shawn R (10/28/2007)
he moved the chair with him into our kitchen! i have pictures!!!
"None of us are white." "Well, we're all white." - Janny M & Shawn R (10/28/2007)
risk pieces
"The priest is already drunk." - Shawn R (10/27/2007)
"He's taught that that's a cheeseburger." - Shawn R (10/21/2007)
linemen going after the ball
"If our team wins, you might get lucky tonight." "Come on, Philly!" - Jen R & Shawn R (10/21/2007)
"I just want to get laid tonight." - Shawn R (10/21/2007)
"Now you see why I got up?" - Shawn R (10/21/2007)
jen beat up bri for a comment he made
"Shawn? Shawn? Who can hit harder?" "You... you..." - Jen R & Shawn R (10/21/2007)
shawn said you in a quivering & scared voice
"Okay, it's Saturday. My brain's not supposed to be working." - Shawn R (10/13/2007)
"Don't give her a receipt." - Shawn R (10/13/2007)
brian giving shiane a receipt
"I am retiring to the beer cave!" - Shawn R (10/13/2007)
after shawn played a joke on marc
"Four nines... these are for you." - Shawn R (10/13/2007)
playing bs
"I had one card left and I didn't lie at all!" - Shawn R (10/13/2007)
he had like 1/2 the deck
"Give me a squirt... just a little squirt." - Shawn R (10/12/2007)
"I feel like a homeless guy." - Shawn R (10/12/2007)
big fire over barbque
"Come here, bitch!" - Shawn R (10/12/2007)
after brians comment about how that would explain the eagles, shawn had a big knife lol
"Okay, now that we're all sober..." - Shawn R (10/03/2007)
"It's because I'm not drunk, I'm not sluring my words." - Shawn R (09/30/2007)
"Okay, McNabb..." - Shawn R (09/30/2007)
jen threw cookies
"Okay, black guy with red pigtails... that's wrong." - Shawn R (09/30/2007)
wendy's commercial
"Next time, Marc, don't buy the girl bottles." - Shawn R (09/29/2007)
marc & i went to the liquor store & he got 24 7oz bottles of corona
"So, that's where we stand." "Well, actually, you're sitting." - Shawn R & Brian C (09/20/2007)
"Well, you just booyaed me." - Shawn R (09/19/2007)
"Okay, go back to the game, I don't wanna see three fat guys talking..." - Shawn R (09/17/2007)
"It better not be McNabb." "Yeah, McNabb's really on defense." - Jen R & Shawn R (09/17/2007)
"What the hell? I walk out and you're beating the s**t out of our neighbor?" - Shawn R (09/17/2007)
"Go go go!" "Go out of bounds?" - Marc G & Shawn R (09/09/2007)
"That guy was just driving around with trash on his roof and his windshield." "Yeah, I've seen that guy." - Marc G & Shawn R (09/08/2007)
"I love you." "No, you don't." - Jen R & Shawn R (09/08/2007)
"No pumpkin me." - Shawn R (09/07/2007)
"I was going to say you could wip it out of your pants." "No, that's a cigar." - Brian C & Shawn R (09/07/2007)
jen needed a cigarette i think
"Why are you making animal noises at my wife now?" - Shawn R (09/07/2007)
"I'm glad he's not coming over tonight." "Why?" "Cause I have knives on the wall." - Shawn R & Janny M (09/07/2007)
"Oh, you can't make me girlfriend." "Don't call me that." - Brian C & Shawn R (09/07/2007)
"Watch out." "What are you doing?" "I'm kicking her ass." - Shawn R & Jen R (09/07/2007)
"That's why I have Game Crazy on speed dial." - Shawn R (09/06/2007)
just called & they had a wii
"Shut up because it looked like this on July fourth, too." - Shawn R (09/03/2007)
we were affraid of it raining
"Candi would be an angry drunk." - Shawn R (09/03/2007)
"No, sex with your hand doesn't count." - Shawn R (09/03/2007)
"Five dollar... sucky sucky." "You suck." - Shawn R & Janny M (08/10/2007)
"Yes, we use arm and hammer toothpaste for our cat litter." - Shawn R (08/06/2007)
"I don't think men need an aphrodisiac." - Shawn R (08/02/2007)
"Bagok!" "No." - Janny M & Shawn R (08/02/2007)
"He's going to be drunk by the time he goes in." "He's Mexican, no he won't." - Jen R & Shawn R (08/02/2007)
"He doesn't value his life much, does he?" - Shawn R (07/27/2007)
marc throwing things at jens car
"Actually, I don't think she can punch through that." - Shawn R (07/16/2007)
lol, the door he had to repair
"You're name is Ashe?" "It was my nickname in high school." "What a freak." - Janny M & Shawn R (07/14/2007)
"Are you smarter than a wet vac?" - Shawn R (07/12/2007)
said in a singing voice... this was on carlos mancia
"Can I have this in the car?" - Shawn R (07/12/2007)
holding up a bottle of beer
"I said yes, what the f**k do you want?" - Shawn R (07/12/2007)
"Stop pleasuring the spoon." - Shawn R (07/12/2007)
"Bluetooth is actually..." "An alien device..." "Created by a creature named bluetooth." - Brian C & Marc G & Shawn R (07/12/2007)
"Wow, then you must be as blind as Anne Frank." - Shawn R (07/08/2007)
from clerks 2
"I gotta go to the bathroom." "Go over the balcony." "I'm not drunk enough." - Shawn R & Marc G (07/03/2007)
"You're writing a list out for steaks, icing, burgers, and beer." - Shawn R (07/03/2007)
not too hard
"You almost hit the beer." "Oh, that's bad." - Shawn R & Marc G (06/29/2007)
"It's gotta be a soccer mom, she's got Sponge Bob hanging from the rear view..." - Shawn R (06/29/2007)
our trip up to gettysburg
"Daisy?" "Daisy?" "Shut up!" - Shawn R & Marc G & Jen R (06/23/2007)
we were playing mario party 8... what a boring game!
"Of course the Mexican won the washing." - Shawn R (06/23/2007)
making fun of mark in mario party 8 mini washing stupid game
"Are we drinking tomorrow, right?" "Uh, yeah!" - Janny M & Shawn R (06/23/2007)
"Oh yeah, that worked..." - Shawn R (06/09/2007)
"In the navy..." "Do you wanna get hit?" - Brian C & Shawn R (06/09/2007)
shawn is in the navy lol
"Oh, don't start this again... I'm not drunk enough." - Shawn R (06/08/2007)
"Maybe we should bring the puppy out here." "Bull s**t!" - Jen R & Shawn R (06/08/2007)
"The dog is not going to get struck by lightening." - Shawn R (06/08/2007)
a little bit tipsy was i cause i thought jen said it lol
"Auuuww!" "No, that's a wolf." - Janny M & Shawn R (06/08/2007)
"Did it break?" "It's metal!" - Janny M & Shawn R (06/08/2007)
the alcohol shaker things lol
"Engage brain before open mouth." - Shawn R (06/08/2007)
"I don't remember his name... I was drunk." - Shawn R (06/07/2007)
last saturday night, some cool guy talked to us