Quotes At Long Live The Monkey

Sabrina P's Quotes

Sabrina P has made 419 quotes!

"Oh hell yeah. He'll probably roast the shit out of me." - Sabrina P (03/28/2025)
if she came to her favorite comic with a very crackling laugh

"I'll slobber on my cat right now!" - Sabrina P (03/28/2025)
if social media charged her $

"Brian, I'm disappointed in you." - Sabrina P (03/14/2025)
bri wouldn't give aaron a blowjob to help him alleviate pain

"I'm not a male aged thirty to thirty-five so no one listens to me." - Sabrina P (11/25/2024)

"She had a Jay Leno chin..." - Sabrina P (11/25/2024)

"Oh God. That's too real." - Sabrina P (10/18/2024)
kamala & trump are tied in the polls

"There's Alien... Oh, never mind. There's a laundry basket..." - Sabrina P (06/14/2024)
we eventually saw alien on screen but she got distracted by laundry

"He's a cradle robber but he doesn't poop on the floor." - Sabrina P (11/10/2023)

"That would be fun." - Sabrina P (10/06/2023)
bookshelfing; in joke boat

"It's okay if you don't find it. I'll just never be happy again." - Sabrina P (09/10/2023)
she told aaron to look for a funny cat video she saw

"Alien! No spicy!" - Sabrina P (09/09/2023)
alien wanted to bite & attack

"Uh oh. I mean, everything's fine..." - Sabrina P (09/09/2023)

"I got carded the other day and I was so happy!" - Sabrina P (09/09/2023)

"While he was high... Aaron, not Joe Biden..." - Sabrina P (09/09/2023)
the story

"Also you have kittens in your hands..." - Sabrina P (08/30/2023)
aaron wanted to read a recipe but he was busy

"I would notify their boss that they should get a promotion!" - Sabrina P (06/30/2023)
if their door bell ring captured the postman saying they wanted to kill elon

"That's me with a bunch of cats! That's not suspicious at all!" - Sabrina P (06/09/2023)
push the button; trying to weed out the alien; drawing yourself in 5 years

"I guess he does get peed on a lot." - Sabrina P (06/09/2023)

"Everything has to do with people dying..." - Sabrina P (05/05/2023)
her bad experiences with ubereats

"So I took it to my hair stylist and she was like, 'are you sure?'" - Sabrina P (03/19/2023)
she got a mohawk

"They're like, are you sure? You're white." - Sabrina P (03/19/2023)
aaron is white and he likes spicy food

"I'm excited because I want to be a person again." - Sabrina P (03/19/2023)
and not have a broken foot

"I'm not client facing. I'm not that important. They know not to put me in front of the client." - Sabrina P (03/19/2023)
she can dress however she wants & style her hair however she wants, ear piercings, etc

"I mean that wasn't a gross story but..." - Sabrina P (03/19/2023)

"It was like this mound..." "Why did I marry you?" - Aaron E & Sabrina P (03/19/2023)
he used to spit in this one area over and over again

"A bible quote?" - Sabrina P (03/19/2023)
aaron was looking up a bible quote; she covered her face

"I haven't driven it like regularly-ly-ly." - Sabrina P (03/19/2023)

"How do you get up and down those stairs?" "Sideways... like a crab." - Janny M & Sabrina P (03/03/2023)
she broke her foot :(

"Oh no! My confidence!" - Sabrina P (01/13/2023)
she gambled her confidence and lost

"It looks like a Pokemon." - Sabrina P (01/13/2023)
someone's drawing

"Yeah. How do you know the range of ball?" - Sabrina P (01/13/2023)
a new jackbox game where you had to guess ranges

"Yeah, it sounds like she cares in a Karen kind of way." - Sabrina P (10/26/2022)

"I'm not even going to relive that. It was so stressful." - Sabrina P (10/26/2022)

"It was just a light but now it's a fancy one that beeps and is like, 'you can't ignore me.'" - Sabrina P (10/26/2022)
their ice maker needs a new filter

"Tink, you're embarrassing me!" - Sabrina P (10/26/2022)
she wasn't getting the toy out of the box

"You get dinner in fifteen minutes. Until then we're going to talk about racist people." - Sabrina P (10/26/2022)
talking to the alien

"There was a star in the sky when I was born, too." - Sabrina P (10/26/2022)

"Don't worry. I'll pick you up, Janis." - Sabrina P (10/09/2022)

"I'm a pretty good catch." - Sabrina P (10/09/2022)
yea she is

"But then I'm not white..." - Sabrina P (09/02/2022)
when she wears make up

"She's still walking around handing out marijuana drinks to everyone." - Sabrina P (09/02/2022)
a lady came around with free drinks that tasted like marijuana and took a picture of everyone

"I called your husband 'babe.' I'm sorry." "It's okay. I call your husband 'babe' all the time." - Sabrina P & Janny M (09/02/2022)

"It's like meeting a celebrity!" - Sabrina P (09/01/2022)
she meets my sister tomorrow

"I call it my arm condom." - Sabrina P (09/01/2022)
to protect her iv

"Is that why you bought it?" "Yeah." - Sabrina P & Aaron E (09/01/2022)
the patterns on his hat looked like two boobs

"Ewwwah!" - Sabrina P (09/01/2022)
aaron brought out peanut butter and celery sticks

"Haven't you seen Unsolved Mysteries?" - Sabrina P (09/01/2022)
my theory about twins

"Babe. Turn it down. I'm trying to talk to Janis about her vagina." - Sabrina P (09/01/2022)

"I mean, I'm not gonna lie. I was a little disappointed that my appendix didn't burst the other night." - Sabrina P (09/01/2022)
she was looking forward to going to the hospital

"Now I'm so nervous!" - Sabrina P (09/01/2022)
to meet my sister

"I'm so excited to meet Stacy and Matt... The Stacy and Matt." - Sabrina P (09/01/2022)

"She needs to take a bath every time I touch her. She's such a diva." - Sabrina P (09/01/2022)
leela

"...And his dentist saw all his psychopathic calls..." - Sabrina P (09/01/2022)
middle of a story; aaron was frantic about going to a dentist about his tooth

"...The Domino's pizza guy calls and I'm like, 'leave it on the front step'..." - Sabrina P (09/01/2022)
middle of a story

"That sounds like a FEMA exercise." - Sabrina P (08/13/2022)
hurricane board game which isn't out yet

"They didn't fit." - Sabrina P (08/13/2022)
why aaron didn't get the clothes box he hit while driving

"We're talking about penises here. Can you not be serious?" - Sabrina P (08/13/2022)

"Babe. Can you do something about this?" - Sabrina P (08/13/2022)

"If I had a penis I would want that s**t chopped." - Sabrina P (08/13/2022)
me too; circumcision

"Oh my God this is a terrible memory..." - Sabrina P (08/13/2022)

"I would totally let Aaron go home with Amy Poller cause it's Amy Poller!" - Sabrina P (08/13/2022)

"I wonder what the menu is..." "I'm talking about Alien." - Aaron E & Sabrina P (07/24/2022)
for the movie theature

"We're not talking about West World anymore. We're talking about climate change." - Sabrina P (07/23/2022)
bri was outside then came back in

"No babies for dessert... Well maybe human babies but not kitty babies." - Sabrina P (07/23/2022)

"How much can we do? Look at a baby..." - Sabrina P (07/23/2022)
how long they were going to be over a friend's house

"Just so you know, all the alcohol is at the bottom." "Oh, good." - Brian C & Sabrina P (07/04/2022)
blue hawaii freezer mixed drinks

"Aaron! We're trying to talk about serial killers and you're talking about politics!" - Sabrina P (07/04/2022)

"Sabrina?" "I don't have a micropenis." - Brian C & Sabrina P (07/04/2022)

"So we can't point?" "Right. And we have to milk." - Aaron E & Sabrina P (07/04/2022)
drinks with frenemies rules

"You don't have to milk anymore, babe." - Sabrina P (07/04/2022)

"But this world sucks anyway..." - Sabrina P (07/04/2022)
if she fell off the roof :(

"Okay. I get it. You don't find me attractive." - Sabrina P (07/03/2022)

"Your sons marching band isn't running for president!" - Sabrina P (07/03/2022)
how the news cut out bernie in moco in 2016

"So who did you get this new acid from?" - Sabrina P (06/21/2022)

"Like Aaron spraining his ankle on one stair?" - Sabrina P (06/21/2022)
bri's pinched nerve from sleeping wrong

"The first time I was over he invited me to his bedroom." - Sabrina P (06/21/2022)
aaron had a studio

"I mean I'm not a mean person..." - Sabrina P (06/21/2022)

"You have a chip on your shoulder... literally..." - Sabrina P (06/21/2022)
we had nachos for dinner

"Are we going to talk more about furries?" - Sabrina P (06/21/2022)

"No, let's just keep talking about penises." - Sabrina P (06/21/2022)

"Did you have yesterday off?" "No, my company's racist." - Janny M & Sabrina P (06/21/2022)
juneteenth

"I think we'll have to move and sell our house now." - Sabrina P (06/21/2022)
their neighbors don't remember her

"I don't remember. I repressed all these memories..." - Sabrina P (06/21/2022)

"But then I'd have to put pants on..." - Sabrina P (06/11/2022)
if we went out drinking

"Except minus the weed..." - Sabrina P (06/11/2022)
a's mom

"We didn't like card them..." - Sabrina P (06/11/2022)

"Guess what we did this morning?" "Have sex?" "no. Even better. We went to the dentist!" "I think she's a masochist." - Sabrina P & Janny M & Brian C (06/11/2022)

"Do you want a kiss?" "No." "Oh." - Aaron E & Sabrina P (06/11/2022)

"No... There's suction cups and cat nip. Why they go together, I don't know." - Sabrina P (05/26/2022)
trying to find a bottle opener through drawers

"I'm gonna go over Aaron and Sabrina's house even though they work like lower middle class people..." - Sabrina P (05/26/2022)

"If I google it, will it be true?" - Sabrina P (05/26/2022)

"And my mom is the good little Christian so she has to fight for Jesus or whatever." - Sabrina P (05/26/2022)

"Okay, Bill Clinton." - Sabrina P (05/26/2022)
to aaron

"He made his wife a peace sign latte then he died in cold blood!" - Sabrina P (05/26/2022)
howard :(

"Your body, your choice." - Sabrina P (05/22/2022)
how aaron wants to shave

"I don't think so. Do you wanna fight about it?" "Yes." - Sabrina P & Aaron E (05/22/2022)

"What kind of friends are you hanging out with?" - Sabrina P (05/22/2022)
to aaron

"A sexuals can f**k people." - Sabrina P (05/22/2022)

"She's nice. She's just crazy." - Sabrina P (05/22/2022)
aaron's mom

"I don't want my existence. I wish she would take it back." - Sabrina P (05/22/2022)
her mom

"Yeah, his brother calls me a goldfish digger." - Sabrina P (04/22/2022)

"Oh yeah I need to trim their nails but I've started drinking..." - Sabrina P (04/22/2022)
the cats

"When his mom was here helping us move..." - Sabrina P (04/22/2022)
'helping us move' was in air quotes

"I've had four more engagement rings since then." - Sabrina P (04/22/2022)
the time she lost her engagement ring

"Oh, I forgot. Janis doesn't like Asians." - Sabrina P (04/22/2022)
lol not true

"...And I was like, 'guess what I did in my trash can?'" - Sabrina P (04/22/2022)
her throw up story

"They're probably moving out because the neighbors are so terrible..." - Sabrina P (04/08/2022)
pointing at aaron

"Of course not. That would be too convenient for us." - Sabrina P (04/08/2022)
if nancy pelosi were to die due to covid

"Plot twist? ...No... that doesn't work..." - Sabrina P (04/08/2022)
pitching a movie

"Which president are you talking about?" "A good one." "So Harrison Ford." - Sabrina P & Aaron E & Brian C (04/08/2022)

"...And they travel in time and become friends with Hitler..." - Sabrina P (04/08/2022)
in order to stop bad things from happening

"Sabrina, we can still hear." "Oh my God, stop listening." - Brian C & Sabrina P (04/08/2022)
when she went to the bathroom

"Is it Hillary Clinton?" - Sabrina P (04/08/2022)

"...I didn't have to explain why I was carrying this box full of vomit..." - Sabrina P (03/18/2022)

"We were there the other night." "We live here." - Aaron E & Sabrina P (03/18/2022)

"I was like, 'who's this girl texting because I do not have time for this.'" - Sabrina P (03/18/2022)
when her and aaron were getting together

"That was my first half of a red flag..." - Sabrina P (03/18/2022)
aaron's alarm went off at 3 am

"What? Do you think I'm a negligent mother?" - Sabrina P (03/18/2022)
aaron asked if the cats were fed

"No, I was just screaming cause I got into an accident." - Sabrina P (03/18/2022)
the car game

"I totally gave you a speed limit while we were talking about Alanis Morissette." - Sabrina P (03/18/2022)

"And now he's not like that because I've destroyed him emotionally..." - Sabrina P (03/13/2022)

"...Why is there chocolate on this chair?..." - Sabrina P (03/13/2022)
mid story

"Sorry, we should put a cone up." - Sabrina P (03/13/2022)
water on the floor

"Oh that one didn't get flipped... Ew... Can we unflip it?" - Sabrina P (03/13/2022)
the smegma card in codenames

"Aaron crop dusted earlier so feel free to smoke weed." - Sabrina P (03/13/2022)
the rule of the house

"Hurry up. We have to win this game." - Sabrina P (03/13/2022)

"We're gonna debate about phonographs all night!" - Sabrina P (03/13/2022)

"I'm so sorry you guys. This is why they're moving to Portugal." - Sabrina P (03/13/2022)
aaron again

"He literally just dumped vodka in my drink and you're asking me how I get drunk!" - Sabrina P (03/13/2022)

"People get hit by bikes all the time." - Sabrina P (02/25/2022)

"We should probably hand wash it." "Well then we're not eating off of it." - Aaron E & Sabrina P (02/25/2022)
the fine china

"Yeah but come on." "It's just sitting there!" - Janny M & Sabrina P (02/25/2022)
the last part was said at the same time

"Like, like humans?" - Sabrina P (02/25/2022)

"We're waiting..." - Sabrina P (02/25/2022)

"Aaron loves to complicate things." - Sabrina P (02/25/2022)

"F**k yeah! I'm outta here, b***hes!" - Sabrina P (02/25/2022)
finally got a green light

"No, it's wang like penis." - Sabrina P (01/28/2022)

"Sorry. We're just talking about killing people." - Sabrina P (01/28/2022)

"How did you survive without Aaron?" "Oh. Microwave." - Brian C & Sabrina P (01/28/2022)
aaron cooks

"There is nudity in this move." "That's good so we're not watching this movie for nothing." - Janny M & Sabrina P (01/28/2022)
don't look up

"...A white person." - Sabrina P (01/28/2022)
white cube in lords of waterdeep

"Hillary Clinton style, man!" - Sabrina P (01/28/2022)
corruption in lords of waterdeep

"I'm gonna go to the black people." - Sabrina P (01/28/2022)
black cubes

"...The crime scene..." - Sabrina P (12/30/2021)
she killed a bug

"They're kids. They enjoy the magic of the holiday." - Sabrina P (12/30/2021)

"When are the blinds coming in?" "I don't know. I f**king called them and they didn't f**king call me back." - Brian C & Sabrina P (12/30/2021)

"Hey googles..." - Sabrina P (12/12/2021)
she was trying to talk to both bri's phone and their google

"How did I never notice it? I made a mistake!" - Sabrina P (12/12/2021)
aaron's loud chewing

"It is morally wrong to cause discomfort to those around you." - Sabrina P (12/12/2021)

"No, you don't have to add the Asian part. Now Janis hates this story." - Sabrina P (12/12/2021)

"I just turned thirty six. F**k my life." - Sabrina P (12/12/2021)

"We're coming out of the closet..." - Sabrina P (11/22/2021)
you have to close their bedroom door to access the closet

"You can go to drugs to get Portugal." - Sabrina P (11/22/2021)

"It's in the f**king garage." - Sabrina P (11/22/2021)

"Dry as a bone." "Cause it melted?" - Brian C & Sabrina P (11/22/2021)
heavy rain in arizona

"There is a lot of tits in there..." - Sabrina P (11/05/2021)

"Aaron... do you have covid? Jesus!" - Sabrina P (11/05/2021)
aaron kept coughing

"Yay! Mitch McConnell day!" - Sabrina P (11/05/2021)
cards against humanity online

"All thanks to the gays." - Sabrina P (11/05/2021)
why aaron won

"S**thole countries helped me get to where I am." - Sabrina P (11/05/2021)
s**thole countries card in cards against humanity online

"I was like ready to feed us with like microwave and stove stuff." - Sabrina P (10/23/2021)

"No animals were harmed during the making of this..." "Humans were." - Aaron E & Sabrina P (10/23/2021)
roar... really bad movie

"I painted my nails this week." "Oh, pretty." - Sabrina P & Janny M (10/15/2021)

"Oh s**t, you know what I would be in the mood for?" "Big black cock?" "Well, yeah..." - Aaron E & Sabrina P (10/15/2021)

"I'm googling edible butt plugs..." - Sabrina P (10/15/2021)

"I'm skipping. I was building the gem." - Sabrina P (10/15/2021)

"I was in the cafeteria." "Did you vent there?" "Yes." - Sabrina P & Stacy M (10/15/2021)

"Oh, we're the taste testers?" - Sabrina P (10/10/2021)

"Oh God! Naw, I was just kidding." - Sabrina P (10/10/2021)
first taste of the veggie curry

"I used that last night." "Thanks for sharing." - Aaron E & Sabrina P (10/10/2021)

"You're the only boyfriend I've had that made my sister cry and I married you." - Sabrina P (10/10/2021)
aaron made sabrina's sister cry

"I only had three beers!" - Sabrina P (10/10/2021)
a few times ago we hung out & she got really sick

"Like I called into a work meeting and I had to keep leaving to puke." - Sabrina P (10/10/2021)
when she got sick off of 3 beers over our place

"I don't think the stress of the situation is going to hit them because they weren't involved." - Sabrina P (10/10/2021)
a stressful story sabrina told

"Awww, I remember when my grandmother was dying... Sorry to bring down the mood..." - Sabrina P (10/10/2021)

"Oh my God that was like two conversations ago..." - Sabrina P (10/10/2021)
aaron changed the subject back

"You don't wanna hold it for me?" - Sabrina P (10/04/2021)

"Well apparently we're all being poisoned." "Well I knew that." - Janny M & Sabrina P (10/04/2021)
latest last week tonight about tephlon

"Can we have dessert for dinner?" - Sabrina P (10/04/2021)
recipes we want to try

"I was wondering if they were smoking bowls or something." - Sabrina P (10/04/2021)

"That might marinate in it..." - Sabrina P (09/24/2021)
shat a fart?

"If I had a penis it would be named Wanda." - Sabrina P (09/24/2021)

"Wait. Is that supposed to be the dick?" - Sabrina P (09/24/2021)
it did not look like a dick

"One of those southern states..." - Sabrina P (09/17/2021)

"Well that just sounds like a s**ty wife." - Sabrina P (09/17/2021)

"I think we need to plan a camping trip." - Sabrina P (09/17/2021)
so she could maybe get rid of aaron

"There's no other jobs..." "Other than being a serial killer..." - Brian C & Sabrina P (09/17/2021)
our screen play

"Penises don't just grow out of the ground." "Unfortunately." - Brian C & Sabrina P (09/17/2021)
I agree, unfortunate :(

"I'm not white!" - Sabrina P (09/17/2021)

"Oh why? That's a good joke. Why did he have to make it?" - Sabrina P (08/27/2021)
aaron's coworker dressed as jake from statefarm

"I actually was a republican at the time..." "...I know, right?" - Aaron E & Sabrina P (08/27/2021)
i gave sabrina a look

"Am I drunk too?" - Sabrina P (08/06/2021)

"I've only had males." - Sabrina P (08/06/2021)
dentists

"So who's lube did I find in the computer room?" - Sabrina P (07/23/2021)

"Remember? You weren't listening to me?" - Sabrina P (07/23/2021)
about the lube

"Well, I found Cody's lube." - Sabrina P (07/23/2021)

"I'm gonna go out of the norm and not draw a penis." - Sabrina P (07/23/2021)
tattoos in trivia

"The alive Matt, not the dead Matt." - Sabrina P (07/23/2021)

"He's just going to drink almond milk. He's just going to drink Orangina... That's the whole video." - Sabrina P (07/21/2021)
making among us drinks

"You're not usually a chubby dude." - Sabrina P (07/21/2021)

"The cats are gonna get drunk." - Sabrina P (07/21/2021)
aaron spilled a little on the table

"You can hit my car... oh wait. Don't." - Sabrina P (07/21/2021)

"I couldn't learn how to pee with a penis." - Sabrina P (07/21/2021)
this thing she has for girls to pee

"Lock picking lawyer dead bolt." "Dirt devil?" - Aaron E & Sabrina P (07/21/2021)
youtube (their tv) messed up

"Of course Hillary lost me points. F**king Hillary." - Sabrina P (07/09/2021)

"I feel like I read a reddit story about this..." - Sabrina P (07/09/2021)

"Oh well. I guess I'm going in with a fuzzy dildo strap on." - Sabrina P (07/09/2021)

"The whole way over here I was mean to him he was like, 'are you going to be nicer after you pee?'" - Sabrina P (07/04/2021)
to aaron

"My sister was pregnant... well... she's always pregnant." - Sabrina P (07/04/2021)

"Kids like make fun times less fun." "Yeah. I agree." - Janny M & Sabrina P (07/04/2021)

"I think you'll be underwhelmed when you first see it." - Sabrina P (07/04/2021)
their new house

"But then we had to listen to all that 'Russia stole the election.'" - Sabrina P (06/18/2021)

"Babe. I can't hear Brian." - Sabrina P (06/18/2021)
aaron was crunching too loud

"I feel like I can't make my windows big." "That's what she said." - Janny M & Sabrina P & Brian C (06/18/2021)
twss said at the same time

"Not as dirty as your wife's pussy though." - Sabrina P (06/18/2021)

"I'm gonna go with the obvious answer." "Eating pussy?" - Janny M & Sabrina P (06/18/2021)

"I'm going to hell." "I'm also going to hell." - Janny M & Sabrina P (06/18/2021)
our answers in survive the internet

"Wait, Stacy's going to hell!" - Sabrina P (06/18/2021)
all our names were stacy

"We went to have our legal anniversary." - Sabrina P (06/18/2021)

"He was trying to tell me about his character and..." "You didn't care?" "...Yeah..." - Sabrina P & Brian C (05/28/2021)
aaron's dnd character

"I just said I'm happy for you..." - Sabrina P (05/28/2021)
aaron's dnd character

"What the f**k yes." - Sabrina P (05/28/2021)

"Oh! The penis! Okay!" - Sabrina P (05/28/2021)
the agitator in the washing machine

"So does Disco... they should talk..." - Sabrina P (05/21/2021)
lupin and disco poop outside the box... not fun

"It's a good conversation starter." - Sabrina P (05/21/2021)
painting in your living room of ancestors having sex

"Only five hundred?" - Sabrina P (05/21/2021)

"Oh, I look white!" - Sabrina P (05/21/2021)
when the lights from the garage are on

'I spelled my name wrong." - Sabrina P (05/21/2021)

"I'm drunk. That's where my mind goes." - Sabrina P (05/21/2021)
to cheeze its

"You guys thought of things I would have never thought of." - Sabrina P (05/14/2021)
what would she do if she won the lottery

"I found Shawn in the vagina... close to the middle." - Sabrina P (04/09/2021)

"Her boobs are smaller than his balls." - Sabrina P (04/02/2021)
bri's sex drawing was pretty bad

"I didn't kill myself." - Sabrina P (04/02/2021)

"They asked me for my snap chat." - Sabrina P (04/02/2021)
random 10 year olds she met online; playing among us to get better

"I feel bad because Sabrina hasn't been the impostor but I just saw her kill Janis." "No, you didn't." - Shawn R & Sabrina P (04/02/2021)

"Who's octaboob?" "Me." - Tricia B & Sabrina P (03/19/2021)

"They're the same thing." - Sabrina P (03/19/2021)
bri's semen & the devil's semen

"I want that calendar." "Me, too." - Stacy M & Sabrina P (03/19/2021)
firemen ass

"Bye Sabrina." "Oh no!" - Shawn R & Sabrina P (02/26/2021)
we voted her off

"No one has any evidence it's me." - Sabrina P (02/19/2021)
in among us

"No. That sounds like a terrible idea." - Sabrina P (02/12/2021)
capture and rehouse the alien

"But I killed three people. I'm proud of myself." - Sabrina P (02/12/2021)
in among us

"That was stuck in my head all week." - Sabrina P (02/12/2021)
partying partying hey!

"That's reasonable." - Sabrina P (02/12/2021)
vote for booze

"I almost got you too, Brian, and then I would have had it easy." - Sabrina P (02/05/2021)
she was on a killing spree

"I saw Brian dead in the vagina hallway." - Sabrina P (02/05/2021)

"Do I have clothes on?" "No." "No. You're naked." - Matt An & Janny M & Sabrina P (01/29/2021)

"I know my story sounds so ridiculous but it's true!" - Sabrina P (01/29/2021)
her alibi for among us & why she's not the imposter

"Oh no. You have to write two jokes?" - Sabrina P (01/22/2021)

"It has nothing to do with covid..." - Sabrina P (01/22/2021)
why no one goes over their place

"...It is nutty milk..." - Sabrina P (01/15/2021)

"You gotta be nice like a bunny..." - Sabrina P (01/08/2021)

"I found Janis at the top of the vagina." - Sabrina P (01/08/2021)
my body

"No, it's my new year's resolution to murder people." - Sabrina P (01/01/2021)
in among us

"That's all you can do is hope that they give up hope." - Sabrina P (01/01/2021)
parents hoping for grandkids

"I just said my ass hurts." - Sabrina P (01/01/2021)

"Oh my God that's a beautiful penis!" - Sabrina P (01/01/2021)
what jason drew in drawful

"I do wish I drew a penis now." - Sabrina P (01/01/2021)
she drew an alien instead

"Look at that penis!" - Sabrina P (01/01/2021)

"Oh God. That's a lot of dick right there." - Sabrina P (01/01/2021)

"Oh no. My penis!" - Sabrina P (01/01/2021)

"I did vote for the happy penis because it was happy." - Sabrina P (01/01/2021)

"I'd start a blog about that or something." - Sabrina P (01/01/2021)
if she had paris hilton's dreams

"Why would you keep your condoms? Does that actually happen?" - Sabrina P (01/01/2021)
something found in office refrigorators

"I was too busy laughing I didn't vote." - Sabrina P (01/01/2021)

"Oh no, wait. I did it wrong!" - Sabrina P (12/31/2020)

"I'm reminded of that Britney Spears song." "Oxic?" - Janny M & Sabrina P (12/31/2020)
the code to get into the room was oxic

"Who drinks honey over vodka?" - Sabrina P (12/31/2020)

"I wanna be the imposter, please." - Sabrina P (12/31/2020)
poor sabrina is almost never the imposter

"That's how you win!" "By adding boobs?" - Aaron E & Sabrina P (12/25/2020)
tee k o

"Wait. No, I'm not dead." - Sabrina P (12/25/2020)
in among us

"Oh no. I didn't vote. I was too busy debating." - Sabrina P (12/18/2020)

"I love how sad you sound for me." - Sabrina P (12/11/2020)

"I see where you're going with this." - Sabrina P (12/11/2020)

"My cat just puked. I'll be right back." - Sabrina P (12/04/2020)

"Does that happen frequently?" - Sabrina P (12/04/2020)
trucker babies

"Why are you hunting me down?" - Sabrina P (12/04/2020)
playing among us

"I ran out of time and dildo is my go-to." - Sabrina P (11/13/2020)

"There's a hole in my vagina!" - Sabrina P (11/13/2020)

"I really hope Aaron can hear me right now." - Sabrina P (11/13/2020)

"I don't feel like performing again." "That's what she said." - Sabrina P & Janny M (11/06/2020)

"Too late. It's over now. You missed it." - Sabrina P (10/30/2020)
belly dancing shark

"Okay. I have to get something. I need to participate." - Sabrina P (10/30/2020)
we dressed up for zoom

"She doesn't need it anymore." - Sabrina P (10/30/2020)
toss a dildo instead of flowers at a wedding

"This really feels like work." - Sabrina P (10/16/2020)

"Her mouth looks very f**kable." - Sabrina P (10/16/2020)

"I feel like I'm in the game, he's so loud." - Sabrina P (10/09/2020)
aaron playing dnd while we're playing jackbox games

"I was trying to carry on the tradition here." - Sabrina P (10/09/2020)
she played big black cock

"Aaron is so noisy." "I know. Help me." - Janny M & Sabrina P (10/09/2020)

"Oh, how did I get votes?" - Sabrina P (10/09/2020)

"Is Sabrina Hootie Mc Boob?" "Of course I'm Hootie Mc Boob." - Brian C & Sabrina P (10/09/2020)

"I don't mean to do that kind of psychology... I hate people." - Sabrina P (09/11/2020)
she's going for her masters!

"What do they eat?" "Cat food... That wasn't meant to be a smart ass answer." - Stacy M & Sabrina P (09/11/2020)

"I'm just gonna die." - Sabrina P (09/11/2020)

"I can't see what I'm showing you." - Sabrina P (09/11/2020)
trying to show us her cat

"Whatever. These are trying times so..." - Sabrina P (08/28/2020)
aaron's hair

"It's cheaper that way, too." - Sabrina P (08/28/2020)

"Oh no!" "Five... four... three... "Phew!" - Sabrina P & Janny M (08/28/2020)
almost didn't get her answers in

"Oh no. I'm dead." - Sabrina P (08/28/2020)

"Oh, God." - Sabrina P (08/21/2020)

"I don't know where his phone is." - Sabrina P (08/21/2020)
aaron's phone

"Oh, she's a white girl." - Sabrina P (03/07/2020)
the person she unfriended on fb who was talking trash

"Last time you told that story it was funnier." - Sabrina P (03/07/2020)

"I'm like, my kittens are dying, you a*shole." - Sabrina P (03/07/2020)
a petsmart employee laughed when she asked for the magic nipple

"You touch everything! You touched the poop!" - Sabrina P (03/07/2020)
aaron did... and there was a clue under it!

"No. I would suffocate him before I did anything complicated." - Sabrina P (03/07/2020)
killing aaron

"Leela's hiding. She doesn't want any part of this." - Sabrina P (03/07/2020)
aaron playing rock & roll mcdonalds

"Can you remove my hunchback?" - Sabrina P (03/07/2020)
i wanted to photoshop our escape room photo so bri has his eyes open

"Most of our medical technology was founded by a necropheliac." "Ou. Tell me more." - Brian C & Sabrina P (03/07/2020)

"I don't know... I don't know what to google!" - Sabrina P (03/07/2020)
to factcheck bri's claims about necropheliacs

"That's not quote worthy." "No." - Brian C & Sabrina P (03/03/2020)

"I'm like, 'you have a backup camera, why are you struggling?'" - Sabrina P (11/26/2019)
aaron had a hard time parking

"Wait. They left a voice mail. Maybe it wasn't the Social Security Administration." - Sabrina P (11/26/2019)
she was getting calls from spam pretending to be the ssa

"I can't keep track of this conversation. There's too many carbs being discussed." - Sabrina P (11/26/2019)

"Oh, no! Stop everybody!" - Sabrina P (11/26/2019)
the carb conversation got confusing

"I mean, I guess this is the best peer pressure there is." - Sabrina P (11/26/2019)
for her to play DnD

"Or out... or out... the other way." - Sabrina P (11/26/2019)
burps

"They're probably decomposing by now." - Sabrina P (11/26/2019)
she kept her baby teeth

"It was a themed cruise for death investigators." "I thought it was the swingers cruise." "That's the next one." - Sabrina P & Brian C (10/15/2019)

"You're right. He does look like a penis." - Sabrina P (10/15/2019)
corey booker

"Uh, it crashed." "No! I just touched it!" "That's what she said." - Brian C & Sabrina P & Janny M (10/15/2019)
the computer which we were using to stream the debate

"I know. Listening to Corey Booker is exhausting." - Sabrina P (10/15/2019)

"I accidentally did a great job." - Sabrina P (08/23/2019)
negotiating aaron's new car

"I have a go bag for our cats, not for us." - Sabrina P (08/23/2019)

"Wait. I thought we were telling candle stories!" - Sabrina P (08/23/2019)

"I'm gonna nuke some s**t right now, babe." - Sabrina P (08/23/2019)

"I wanna nuke my husband. Bye." - Sabrina P (08/23/2019)
we're doomed!

"I'm gonna nuke because that's what this game has become." - Sabrina P (08/23/2019)
everyone but two people were nuked; me and sabrina were left

"Okay. We get it. It's a really nice knife." - Sabrina P (08/23/2019)
aaron telling a story

"And I married this guy." - Sabrina P (08/23/2019)

"His twin brother looks just like him!" - Sabrina P (06/27/2019)
wow!

"Damn it, boy... Okay..." - Sabrina P (06/27/2019)
she asked aaron to get her pie

"That's all it takes to be president." - Sabrina P (06/27/2019)
this woman was just an author

"There's glass and fire." "I know. It's exciting." - Sabrina P & Aaron E (06/27/2019)
on the table

"Wait. That was random. Why did you ask that? Because of Aaron's back pain?" - Sabrina P (06/26/2019)
kathleen asked how old aaron was

"Don't shun me. I was once like you." - Sabrina P (06/26/2019)

"Do you think he just made that up?" - Sabrina P (06/26/2019)
o'rourke's answers

"I can't even take care of kittens. There's no way I'm taking care of a human baby." - Sabrina P (06/15/2019)

"Oh good. But what about the avocados?" - Sabrina P (06/15/2019)
bri was explaining trump's deals with mexico

"This is why I won't have a human child." - Sabrina P (06/15/2019)
she was mixing up her meds with kitten food

"We're in politics." "Tis the season." - Sabrina P & Yesena R (06/15/2019)

"That's still pretty monstrous" - Sabrina P (06/15/2019)

"But it doesn't matter just so long as the kitten is okay. Your comfort means nothing to me." - Sabrina P (06/15/2019)
turn off the ac so the kitten can be warm

"Oh my God. Stop. I hate everything." - Sabrina P (06/15/2019)
i asked if her kitten could breathe under the blanket

"I kinda wanna get..." "A baby?" - Jeremy W & Sabrina P (06/15/2019)

"Is it going in?" "No." "That's what she said." - Aaron E & Sabrina P & Janny M (06/15/2019)
force feeding the kitten

"All in!" - Sabrina P (06/15/2019)
kitten feeding

"What happened?" "Nothing... Your table's fine." - Sabrina P & Jeremy W (06/15/2019)
the game required some cutting and tapping

"Who's the blow job?" - Sabrina P (05/26/2019)

"Oh, I thought it was a vibrator." - Sabrina P (05/26/2019)

"Oh, I forgot to add a penis." - Sabrina P (05/26/2019)
in scribblish

"Basically bad cheese is okay." - Sabrina P (05/15/2019)
to eat; her new diet for her medications

"Okay, I can relate to that, sadly." - Sabrina P (05/15/2019)
brian's t-shirt; testing code in production

"Wait, Hogan signed it?" "I know, right?" - Janny M & Sabrina P (05/15/2019)
something good

"Sure. I'm so excited." - Sabrina P (05/15/2019)
the waitress asked if she wanted to go first ordering

"Wait. Is this true?" "Yes." - Sabrina P & Aaron E (05/15/2019)
something she didn't know about her husband

"My most recent public urination..." - Sabrina P (05/15/2019)

"Sorry, I got distracted by that dessert behind you." - Sabrina P (05/15/2019)

"Cause I know they pick on the elderly and they don't know what's going on..." - Sabrina P (05/15/2019)

"I know, I'm gonna wait and go outside in the parking lot." - Sabrina P (05/15/2019)
go to the bathroom; we had a convo about peeing outside

"We were playing with a bunch of neoliberals..." - Sabrina P (05/15/2019)
the wild cards were called obama's instead of trumps

"I keep saying balls..." - Sabrina P (05/15/2019)

"Can I have some elephant s**t?" - Sabrina P (05/15/2019)
the nasty beer i brought over

"How... dare... her...?" - Sabrina P (03/09/2019)
aoc not live with affordable housing

"I can draw nice penises." - Sabrina P (03/09/2019)
she has a stylist

"We have this conversation every time we hang out." - Sabrina P (02/15/2019)
we talk about snoring

"It could have been a click bait ad. Like click here if you wanna learn about polio." - Sabrina P (02/15/2019)

"I still don't know who did that cause I was pretty drunk." - Sabrina P (02/15/2019)
throw her in the pool in vermont

"I used anal too early." "Yeah, you used anal too early." - Sabrina P & Brian C (02/15/2019)

"I thought it was going to fly away." - Sabrina P (02/03/2019)
she killed a bird in the road when she was a teenager

"I've never heard that before. I guess I need more racist friends." - Sabrina P (02/03/2019)

"Wait... in the chip isle?" - Sabrina P (01/13/2019)
some crazy religious person walked up to us and talked about the end times

"Suburban looks like it's a T V hospital. Like all the doctors and people are beautiful." - Sabrina P (01/13/2019)

"We didn't have enough room for all of our cats furniture." - Sabrina P (01/13/2019)
in their apartment

"Why did you take my bread? I'm leaving you." - Sabrina P (01/13/2019)

"She put her butt on me. I just wanted to give her a dollar." - Sabrina P (01/13/2019)
the time sabrina went to a strip club

"Sorry, I don't have strong opinions on shipwrecks." - Sabrina P (12/03/2018)

"You gotta do the tongue flip." - Sabrina P (11/28/2018)

"What? About circumcision?" - Sabrina P (11/28/2018)

"We're getting a divorce... Now." - Sabrina P (11/28/2018)

"I would be willing to sniff that." "That's what she said." - Sabrina P & Janny M (11/28/2018)

"I got the poop color." - Sabrina P (11/28/2018)

"I never get a drawing I can add a penis or boobs to." - Sabrina P (11/28/2018)
playing drawful

"You can have better." "That's very social." - Sabrina P & Aaron E (11/28/2018)

"Did they come... with the heads...?" - Sabrina P (11/28/2018)
aaron has doll heads on sticks in a jar

"But that's when I knew we were soulmates." - Sabrina P (11/28/2018)
both sabrina & aaron had people think they were killers

"And I was like, 'yeah!'" - Sabrina P (11/10/2018)
pulling the plug on her mom

"I can't be a single mother with this kitten." - Sabrina P (11/10/2018)
aaron wanted her to take it to the vet & everything for his parents

"Put your penis out. That might attract more people." - Sabrina P (11/10/2018)
bri's fake penis to get people to play cah with us

"Okay, let me finish reading this then we can talk about buttplugs." - Sabrina P (11/10/2018)

"Thanksgiving mummies." - Sabrina P (11/06/2018)
they're going to give us mummies for halloween but it's close to thanksgiving

"You should build a couch out of kitkats." - Sabrina P (11/06/2018)

"Grossed out by what? Tails or Tim Kane or both?" - Sabrina P (11/06/2018)

"Aaron's boobs looked really nice. Whatever he was wearing." - Sabrina P (10/29/2018)

"He's a nazi, right?" - Sabrina P (10/29/2018)

"And your mom shares a birthday with Hitler. What's up with that?" - Sabrina P (10/29/2018)
aaron shares a birthday with a nazi and his mom with hitler

"It's definitely not a mc mansion. It's just a mansion." - Sabrina P (10/28/2018)

"Okay, why can't I say this math word?" - Sabrina P (10/28/2018)
one and three quarters

"And I'm not a lesbian yet." - Sabrina P (10/28/2018)
a person aaron dated became a lesbian

"I had to color code the black ones cause they all look the same." - Sabrina P (10/16/2018)
a litter of kittens she had; sounds racist

"we had one class when we were given acid..." "Like L S D?" - Brian C & Sabrina P (10/16/2018)

"The chair looks like a mustache... I hate mustaches." - Sabrina P (10/16/2018)

"No, I'm not doing it with you." - Sabrina P (10/16/2018)
aaron was doing hot sauce tests

"Are you lying? This is why we can't have children." - Sabrina P (10/16/2018)

"She got the timing spot on." - Sabrina P (10/06/2018)
a three minute yellow light & brian didn't go

"Was she talking about her next book?" - Sabrina P (10/06/2018)
hillary clinton making appearances on morning shows

"I don't know about my stories. I never got a laced banana." - Sabrina P (09/29/2018)

"Your deodorant smells really good right now." - Sabrina P (09/29/2018)

"And I probably shouldn't be drinking but that's life." - Sabrina P (09/29/2018)

"Oh, I'm black again." - Sabrina P (09/29/2018)
what she was in the game

"Oh, he pocket dialed..." - Sabrina P (09/24/2018)
her husband was calling her when he was like 10 feet away

"I don't want to break the seal." - Sabrina P (09/24/2018)
go to the bathroom

"Why didn't you pick my salad?" - Sabrina P (09/20/2018)
to her husband; why he didn't pick her disappointing salad card

"Munchin' pus." - Sabrina P (09/20/2018)
she coughed before saying it

"Whatever. My sister is procreating so..." - Sabrina P (09/20/2018)
she talks like i do!

"I'm leaving you..." - Sabrina P (09/20/2018)
aaron ranting about the bible

"If you want to leave me we'll have to get lawyers involved." "I know. We've had this conversation before." - Aaron E & Sabrina P (09/20/2018)

"The look on your face was enough." - Sabrina P (09/16/2018)
the massaging chair was uncomfortable

"Shy was like, 'I need someone to do the van,' and I was like, 'what does that even mean?'" - Sabrina P (09/15/2018)
to decorate the van