Mike O's Quotes
Mike O has made 418 quotes!
"If I pass up on chocolate, it's a problem." - Mike O (04/29/2022)
"Where do we stop with that one?" "Yeah, I got a few." - Janny M & Mike O (04/29/2022)
naming sexual positions
"It's... it's... a blow job." - Mike O (04/29/2022)
"Bald actor." "Alec Baldwin." - Janny M & Mike O (04/29/2022)
"They're curved right for the butt." - Mike O (02/18/2022)
"It's not in your office either." "Oh, piss." - Kurt W & Mike O (02/18/2022)
"These suck. I'm gonna have to go with masturbation." - Mike O (02/18/2022)
"Well this sucks." - Mike O (02/18/2022)
his cards
"As reparations for slavery, all African Americans will receive Lunchables." "That's f**ked up." - Kurt W & Mike O (02/18/2022)
"Oh s**t! Shoot!" - Mike O (07/31/2021)
let water out of the pool by leaning on the edge
"It was supposed to be the Banana Boat tanning oil and boy did it tan." - Mike O (07/31/2021)
they got burned
"Well it's ten feet from the fence to Cousin It." - Mike O (07/31/2021)
where they put the pool
"It was either that or the cum dumpster." - Mike O (07/31/2021)
cah
"This fat b***h ain't singing yet. She ain't even humming." - Mike O (08/09/2019)
their troubles with donald
"So you want a big one like that, Kurt?" "That's what she said." - Brian C & Mike O (08/09/2019)
a big pourch
"No, they tried to marry him off but she left." - Mike O (08/09/2019)
xu
"It'll be a s**ty, flowery mess." - Mike O (08/09/2019)
scentsy & poop
"That just gave me a mental image..." - Mike O (07/03/2019)
bri in assless chaps
"This house was a disaster since... well... one hour before you got here." - Mike O (06/07/2019)
"I don't talk to that crazy b***h anymore." - Mike O (06/07/2019)
if xu asked about me
"It's wet everywhere!" "I know. That's what she said." - Janny M & Mike O (08/17/2018)
"I guess I could put on shorts." "Please do. You're looking kinda skuzzy looking." - Kurt W & Mike O (07/27/2018)
kurt was still in work clothes
"Why don't you suck a nut?" - Mike O (07/27/2018)
"I washed my butt today so I'm good." - Mike O (07/27/2018)
"I did worse shaving. I cut my a*s crack." - Mike O (07/27/2018)
"Kurt, we don't need a play by play." - Mike O (07/27/2018)
kurt was describing wiki pooping
"Well you are playing in her toilet." - Mike O (05/28/2018)
gabriel was playing with the dogs in the yard
"A three hundred dollar poop!" - Mike O (05/28/2018)
leah couldn't poop so they took her to the vet
"Micro nutrition breakdown of eating pussy..." - Mike O (05/28/2018)
"Your face stinks." - Mike O (05/04/2018)
"Hi. Yes. That was quick." - Mike O (05/04/2018)
pizza place put him on hold
"The birded?" - Mike O (05/04/2018)
"Does your brother have any hot friends?" "No." - Kurt W & Mike O (05/04/2018)
cah
"Until I got to Ellicott City, I was like f**k this." - Mike O (03/23/2018)
the weather on tuesday
"Any good?" "No. He sucked." - Janny M & Mike O (03/23/2018)
kurt at playing football in highschool
"They can't get up the hill." "That's what she said." - Janny M & Mike O (03/23/2018)
"He makes me sick." - Mike O (03/23/2018)
kurt was poolsharking us; saying he wasn't good at duck pin when he was
"I thought for sure you'd like the bleached a*****e." - Mike O (02/23/2018)
"Ho, ho, ho. Ho, ho, ho. I'm a ho." - Mike O (02/23/2018)
"Can you imagine how stiff that thing would be?" - Mike O (02/23/2018)
a jizz rag
"I can start it. I just can't finish it." "That's what she said." - Mike O & Brian C (02/23/2018)
two card one in cah
"By the time you see it, you'd wish you hadn't." - Mike O (02/23/2018)
two girls one cup
"He's three feet tall and... Asian..." - Mike O (02/23/2018)
"It looks like poop..." - Mike O (02/23/2018) (pic)
the dogs got the chamagne cork
"What? For real?" "It only happened twice." - Janny M & Mike O (02/02/2018)
their hermit crabs escaped their cage
"Come on, big pimpin." - Mike O (02/02/2018)
talking to kurt
"Lazy b***h." - Mike O (02/02/2018)
kurt works from home now
"Well smack my ass and call me Aunt Sally!" - Mike O (02/02/2018)
"Are you close already?" "That's what she said." - Janny M & Mike O (02/02/2018)
close to 7 cards in catan
"I can't get it up." "That's what she said." - Mike O & Janny M (02/02/2018)
he couldn't get the card off the table
"It says body and bath." "For dogs." - Mike O & Kurt W (01/05/2018)
body spray that mike was spraying on me
"I can't get it in." "That's what she said." - Donald OW & Janny M & Mike O (01/05/2018)
his seatbelt; twss said by me & mike at the same time
"You're going to get slapped in public if you don't shut up." - Mike O (01/05/2018)
he was talking to kurt
"Oops! That's not supposed to open." "That's what she said." - Mike O & Janny M (12/22/2017)
kurt's sunroof
"What? I wasted a monkey f**king your wife?" - Mike O (12/22/2017)
"Bouncing up and down... It's real." - Mike O (12/22/2017)
riding a plane
"I'm a ho. Who wants to go?" - Mike O (12/22/2017)
making up alternative lyrics to christmas music
"So what you have to have, to have to have six inches." "That's what she said." - Mike O & Janny M (12/22/2017)
"Yeah, we could pull out." "That's what she said." - Janny M & Mike O (11/03/2017)
"Bite my a*s." - Mike O (11/03/2017)
"You just get out there, hold your butt cheeks, and go." - Mike O (11/03/2017)
how to drive in the snow
"Your face looks like a guy." - Mike O (11/03/2017)
talking to Donald
"Janis likes all this dirty talk." - Mike O (11/03/2017)
we were talking c++, java stuff
"Watch out, she'll make you say she'll love you long time." "Dude, I'm ready to eat Asian." - Mike O & Janny M (11/03/2017)
we were outside an asian place; i was getting sushi
"Well all I saw was it was a long one." "That's what she said." - Janny M & Mike O (11/03/2017)
"I knew it had to be something with toilet paper. I was like oh god." - Mike O (10/13/2017)
"An older woman..." "No teeth." - Mike O & Kurt W (10/13/2017)
"Then it dries. Then it's mildew." "That's what she said." - Janny M & Mike O (10/03/2017)
he forced that one
"You don't want to work by that a*s." - Mike O (09/04/2017)
kurt; i'll be working with him again
"I don't want him to hurt your son." "Please do." - Janny M & Mike O (07/21/2017)
bri was capturing donald
"Why do I not hear the basketball outside?" - Mike O (07/07/2017)
"You have to go inside to get it." "That's what she said." - Mike O & Janny M (07/07/2017)
the ice
"Go get me..." "Bark!" "S**t!" - Mike O & Leah W (07/07/2017)
"You owe him a kiss." "No I don't." - Janny M & Mike O (07/07/2017)
kurt freed mike
"Cock blocked me..." - Mike O (07/07/2017)
"I would have started the Mexican train." "And you'd be sleeping on the couch." - Kurt W & Mike O (07/07/2017)
"Do you have nothing else better than a four? What did I marry you for?" - Mike O (07/07/2017)
get it four?
"I've been freeing you all evening." - Mike O (07/07/2017)
"Ten? It's the orange box." - Mike O (07/07/2017)
"He walked in and said he couldn't button his pants. And I said that's a problem." - Mike O (05/26/2017)
donald
"You gotta have a beach body." - Mike O (04/28/2017)
donald
"I never realized how small he looks." "That's what she said." - Mike O & Janny M (04/28/2017)
"I told you. I'm beauty and the b***h." - Mike O (03/17/2017)
"I've got rhythm, I've got music. I've got erectile dysfunction. Who could ask for anything more?" - Mike O (03/17/2017)
"He can bend me over his C N N desk any day..." - Mike O (03/17/2017)
anderson cooper
"We haven't done a load yet." "That's what she said." - Janny M & Mike O (02/24/2017)
new washer... not sure how this is a twss quote
"What? Beauty and the butch?" - Mike O (02/24/2017)
"But you have flotation devices." - Mike O (02/24/2017)
me... my boobs; i don't drown
"Kurt doesn't like chocolate." - Mike O (02/24/2017)
"Does he really only have two? That's so sad." - Mike O (02/24/2017)
"And I had a massive explosion at work." "And not the diarrhea kind." - Mike O & Kurt W (02/17/2017)
"How old do you think Brian is?" "Eighty nine." - Mike O & Donald OW (02/17/2017)
"I wasted pooping in a leotard for that?" - Mike O (02/17/2017)
"You always wanted her to visit..." "I'm not that close." - Kurt W & Mike O (01/20/2017)
grandma in the bedroom
"Scrotum tickling?" "Puts her in the mood... She doesn't have a scrotum." - Mike O & Janny M (01/20/2017)
"It's very painful to watch when Donald's on the court." - Mike O (12/10/2016)
"I'm glad you know your knobs really well." - Mike O (12/10/2016)
"I did that and tiny nipples." - Mike O (12/10/2016)
cah
"I can't... It's too funny." - Mike O (12/10/2016)
he was hyperventalating at card combinations in cah
"Oh I was green the next morning." - Mike O (11/11/2016)
"I don't want it all over me." "Yes you do." - Mike O & Kurt W (11/11/2016)
"Peter Pan can f**k up your life." "Yeah." - Janny M & Mike O (11/11/2016)
"What will always get you laid? Special musical guest, Cher. I don't think so." - Mike O (11/11/2016)
"Shut your face." "Faces don't shut." - Mike O & Kurt W (10/21/2016)
"Donald, in life you gotta live by the mantra, the bigger the better." "Oh, he's got it." - Janny M & Mike O (10/21/2016)
tmi or okay?
"It was empty." "No. It really wasn't." - Mike O & Denny J (08/21/2016)
donald's bed is wet now
"I need to go back to math school." "That's what she said." "Is that what you said?" - Donald OW & Mike O (07/30/2016)
donald was talking to me at the end
"Today. Donald's not getting any younger." - Mike O (07/30/2016)
kurt taking his time
"Janis, you might as well slap it in there." "That's what she said." - Mike O & Janny M (07/30/2016)
"I'm having a brain moment." "We can tell." - Mike O & Kurt W (03/18/2016)
"Well just don't get pregnant. It might look like an alien... or worse, it might come out looking like Brian." - Mike O (02/27/2016)
if i had zika virus
"I know what it was like before..." "That's what she said." - Kurt W & Mike O (02/27/2016)
"Well it didn't go down deep enough." "That's what she said." - Mike O & Janny M (02/27/2016)
"Lick my twat." - Mike O (02/06/2016)
"We're gay men. We don't like pink pussies." - Mike O (02/06/2016)
"Your face is a waste of time." - Mike O (02/06/2016)
"I was owning it." - Mike O (12/24/2015)
his bra when we went zip lining
"It's so small... well that's what she said." - Mike O (12/24/2015)
"Hard, you spanked one hard with that five." - Mike O (12/04/2015)
"Lick my brown hole." - Mike O (11/20/2015)
gross
"Do you want me to cut your tail off?" "What?" - Mike O & Mario G (11/06/2015)
"Keep your cookies in your pants." - Mike O (11/06/2015)
"You're not my circus. They're not my monkeys." - Mike O (11/06/2015)
"Who the hell pets fish?" - Mike O (11/06/2015)
"I don't want it. I don't need it." "That's what she said." - Kurt W & Mike O (10/16/2015)
"Your face is tacky." - Mike O (10/16/2015)
"It's amazing what t*ts can do to a man." "I wouldn't know." - Brian C & Mike O (10/16/2015)
"Especially in the bedroom, right?" "That's where it matters." - Janny M & Mike O (09/19/2015)
stamina
"And then when the Japanese bomb it again..." - Mike O (09/19/2015)
pearl harbor
"No. I was getting a blow job in the back of a cab..." - Mike O (09/19/2015)
"Janis didn't even say anything." "I was thinking about it." - Mike O & Janny M (08/14/2015)
his comment wow
"I'm a smack you." - Mike O (08/14/2015)
"Cause you're a skank!" - Mike O (08/14/2015)
coldplay parody after you're a sky
"That sounds about right." - Mike O (08/14/2015)
a half piece of candy is a serving
"No. There was some in the bin." - Mike O (08/01/2015)
"I know she's got that swish that just won't stop." - Mike O (08/01/2015)
wiki's crush on jewels (mike & kurt's next door neighbors dog)
"It's like we had a brothel at our house." - Mike O (08/01/2015)
wiki & jewels
"My back door is a back door only." - Mike O (08/01/2015)
"Well I wasn't the one who threw themselves in the hospital." - Mike O (07/19/2015)
"I didn't go that far..." - Mike O (07/19/2015)
kurt said about melon and poop; gross
"Get a little chocolate on your face..." - Mike O (07/10/2015)
eww
"I'm going to the bathroom." "Don't fall." - Brian C & Mike O (07/10/2015)
bri was tipsy
"I'm gonna slice and dice them b***hes." - Mike O (07/10/2015)
"F**k that. Tax them rich b*****ds." - Mike O (06/26/2015)
"As long as they're not committing murder, I don't give a f**k." - Mike O (06/26/2015)
illegal immigrants
"I hope you step in poo and get some in your eye." - Mike O (06/26/2015)
"She needs to move and pussy fart somewhere else." - Mike O (06/26/2015)
a woman in a mini van in front of us wasn't going
"She looks squished." - Mike O (06/26/2015)
news lady in non-wide screen
"We don't use food for sex." - Mike O (05/29/2015)
"Well that was what we were going for." "Stone henge?" "Yeah." "Well I don't know about that..." - Mike O & Janny M & Kurt W (05/29/2015)
"Nothing but high school drama." - Mike O (05/29/2015)
"It's on Fox... not the crazy Fox." - Mike O (05/25/2015)
"It smells like dung as it is. Gross." - Mike O (05/02/2015)
firtilizer
"We did strawberries in Germantown." - Mike O (05/02/2015)
just kinda funny
"I don't mind talking about mine and Kurt's sex life." "What sex life?" - Mike O & Kurt W (05/02/2015)
"What am I giving up for Lent? Full frontal nudity. F**k." - Mike O (05/02/2015)
"I rock out with my cock out." - Mike O (04/10/2015)
"Bark!" "S**t!" - Leah W & Mike O (04/10/2015)
leah scared mike
"These f**king suck. Did I draw all these?" - Mike O (04/10/2015)
his cards in bottoms up game
"Come on, douche bag. Pull out." "That's what she said." - Mike O & Janny M (02/27/2015)
he was trying to get out of the parking lot
"I wasted Viagra on that?" - Mike O (02/27/2015)
cah
"...The temperature fluctuates between... s**t..." - Mike O (02/15/2015)
the text went by too fast for him to read
"Because it's built to go in." "That's what she said." - Mike O & Janny M (02/15/2015)
the space shuttle pod
"Did it take the plunge?" - Mike O (01/30/2015)
bri's phone that he replaced
"A ride on the porcelain express?" - Mike O (01/30/2015)
"You never know." "No. You do." - Mike O & Kurt W (01/30/2015)
building on a two in catan
"I have his wood knocked down." - Mike O (01/30/2015)
"Wohoo!" - Mike O (01/30/2015)
a two rolled
"Ew. I'd strangle that b***h." - Mike O (01/30/2015)
michelle duggar
"It's a twig." "It's a sapling." - Brian C & Mike O (01/30/2015)
bri's pennie
"Ain't no body got no wood." - Mike O (01/30/2015)
"The rich get taxed." "Hard." "About time." - Janny M & Mike O & Brian C (01/30/2015)
catan, a 7 rolled
"Cough it up." - Mike O (01/30/2015)
a card
"Not anymore. B***h is wearing pink." - Mike O (01/09/2015)
leah
"Nipples don't burn anyway." "The hell they don't." - Brian C & Mike O (01/09/2015)
"At least she doesn't have mud slides in her panties." - Mike O (01/09/2015)
wtf?
"It'll grow back once we get skinny again." - Mike O (01/09/2015)
hair between their thighs
"Cock smootch." - Mike O (01/09/2015)
"That's eight for his little a*s." - Mike O (01/09/2015)
"We needed extra support." - Mike O (12/12/2014)
the bra him & bri had to wear while zip lining
"It is Denny's..." "...Yeah." - Janny M & Mike O (12/12/2014)
"Can you imagine where all that cheese is going?" - Mike O (12/12/2014)
having sex on top of a pizza
"Well yeah, I can see that." - Mike O (11/28/2014)
we call a cannon a penis in risk
"It just means your a*s wins at the games." - Mike O (11/28/2014)
if i drink
"Lick my a*shole." "I prefer the other fudge." - Mike O & Kurt W (11/28/2014)
"Oh wow. You were short." "That's what she said." - Mike O & Janny M (11/28/2014)
my train was only 1
"Bend over and dry popped with no lube... that's right." - Mike O (11/27/2014)
"I wasted the milk man with that?" - Mike O (11/27/2014)
"Look at me... look... tear." - Mike O (11/14/2014)
"She's going to hell if she don't change her ways." - Mike O (11/14/2014)
"You're not gonna block me cause that route has already been abandoned." - Mike O (11/14/2014)
bri was causing havic in ticket to ride
"Like a whore... sitting at the pews at church..." - Mike O (11/14/2014)
singing like a virgin
"Here. I'll turn the air conditioner on." - Mike O (11/14/2014)
mike was hot... kurt wouldn't let him open a window
"It's a big black..." "Train." - Mike O & Janny M & Brian C (11/14/2014)
me & bri said train at the same time
"Your mommy uses you for musical instruments." - Mike O (11/14/2014)
wiki is a musical instrument
"Didn't it used to have a nut?" - Mike O (11/01/2014)
leah's costume
"Who do Barbarians look like?" "A bunch of b***hes with some knives." - Brian C & Mike O (10/24/2014)
"Boners of the elderly." "I was like there goes mine." - Janny M & Mike O (10/24/2014)
"I thought for sure my genitals would win." - Mike O (10/24/2014)
"The class field trip was completely ruined by science." - Mike O (10/24/2014)
"That's sad." - Mike O (10/03/2014)
"Oh, they're dead." - Mike O (10/03/2014)
his men in small world
"Kill them b***hes!" - Mike O (10/03/2014)
"And I only did you four times..." - Mike O (10/03/2014)
attacking in small world
"Thanks a lot, Janis." - Mike O (10/03/2014)
he had talk dirty in his head
"I don't think she's an idiot. I just think she's too..." "Churchy." - Janny M & Kurt W & Mike O (10/03/2014)
mike & kurt said churchy at the same time
"The b***h is out!" - Mike O (10/03/2014)
me
"Eat your leg..." "Is that what they say?" - Janny M & Mike O (10/03/2014)
"So have you started walking around naked yet?" "No." "Oh, yes we have." - Brian C & Mike O & Kurt W (09/12/2014)
now that cindy has moved out
"Where'd the wood come from?" "That's what she said." - Mike O & Janny M (09/12/2014)
"That's a good position." - Mike O (09/12/2014)
"If all else fails I can always masturbate to... Shebah would win." - Mike O (09/12/2014)
"I've been watching poop, too so don't worry." - Mike O (09/12/2014)
"In the back country?" "We're going down eighty one." "That doesn't mean it's not back country." - Kurt W & Mike O & Brian C (08/01/2014)
"A romantic candlelight dinner would be incomplete without John Wilkes Booth." - Mike O (08/01/2014)
"I wasted clinched butt cheeks on that." - Mike O (08/01/2014)
"Was that you?" - Mike O (08/01/2014)
my worthless son; cindy
"It doesn't matter unless you have a big one at the beginning..." "That's what she said." - Mike O & Janny M (08/01/2014)
"I know but I was holding my butt cheeks together on that one." - Mike O (07/11/2014)
while driving, some van did something
"Well, s**t, go in naked. See how many people are productive then." - Mike O (07/11/2014)
at work
"What weighs more, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers?" "A ton of feathers." - Janny M & Mike O (06/28/2014)
"I knew what it was... a ton of bricks." - Mike O (06/28/2014)
to the quote above... wow
"Just kidding. She wasn't a whore she never had sex with him." "That sucks." - Janny M & Mike O (06/27/2014)
"So it has to go in just like that." "That's what she said." - Mike O & Janny M (06/27/2014)
"I need to know what six weeks from now is." "Christmas." - Brian C & Mike O (06/27/2014)
"You little f**k face. I oughta smack you." - Mike O (06/27/2014)
kurt took his spot
"You don't have to say nothing. He has problems with his poop, too." - Mike O (06/27/2014)
"His butt hairs are that long." - Mike O (06/20/2014)
wiki???
"That was when I was a baby." - Mike O (06/20/2014)
when he knew a song played by the live music at the restaurant
"One of his b***hes are dead." - Mike O (06/20/2014)
"I wanted something fast and quick." "That's why you have Kurt." - Mike O & Brian C (06/06/2014)
"It sticks in here." "If you close your legs it wouldn't stink so bad." - Kurt W & Mike O (06/06/2014)
"It's pretty much just soft." "That's what she said." - Mike O & Janny M (06/06/2014)
"I'm taking that b***h and putting her down." - Mike O (06/06/2014)
his mom
"As I put the lube and stuff on my fingers and I dive in." - Mike O (06/06/2014)
"In the beginning there was historically black colleges and the Lord said let there be the K K K." - Mike O (06/06/2014)
bri's cah
"You just need a little bit of seamen in your life." - Mike O (05/09/2014)
they visited annapolis
"Apparently you can trade in this game too." "Got any wood?" - Mike O & Janny M (05/09/2014)
we didn't playtest this game
"I get an ore." "You whore." - Kurt W & Mike O (05/09/2014)
"Anybody have any wood for trade?" "Not now!" - Mike O & Kurt W (05/09/2014)
"Maybe it's Brian the whole time." - Mike O (05/09/2014)
the dogs didn't expell any gas
"This is a G rated kitchen." - Mike O (04/11/2014)
damn
"Well I don't miss you. That's why I moved away." - Mike O (04/11/2014)
one of his old neighbors
"Balls!" - Mike O (04/11/2014)
"I don't get that treatment cause I'm getting a bathroom." - Mike O (04/11/2014)
"Honey, I have to wear something to work..." - Mike O (04/11/2014)
he was claiming his office was casual
"She loves karaoke. She's Asian." - Mike O (03/28/2014)
"I want to laugh." "There's a mirror in the bathroom." - Mike O & Brian C (03/28/2014)
"That's why I got my job." - Mike O (03/07/2014)
a banana??...
"It's not who you know, it's who you screw." - Mike O (03/07/2014)
"I'm waiting for you to turn into the dirty thirty club." - Mike O (03/07/2014)
i'll never be 30
"I'm gonna have to get a spray bottle..." - Mike O (03/07/2014)
"Some people are too big for a leaf." - Mike O (03/07/2014)
"His parents, no." - Mike O (03/07/2014)
kurt's parents referenced in CAH
"If it's in a vagina, it's gonna be black." - Mike O (03/07/2014)
"Huh?" "Let's play hearts." - Kurt W & Mike O (03/07/2014)
"They're very cheap chairs. Ikea?" "No. Worse." - Janny M & Mike O (03/07/2014)
"Yeah, in Yoda voice. 'Mmm said that, she did.'" - Mike O (02/28/2014)
"Yes, the table can move." - Mike O (02/28/2014)
"Maryland gets more snow than Virginia." "Yeah, cause Maryland is more north." - Mike O & Brian C (02/28/2014)
"I was all bundled up." "What do you think bums look like?" - Mike O & Brian C (01/24/2014)
"Or limp?" "That's what she said." - Mike O & Janny M (01/24/2014)
cindy's food
"You're shooting blanks and she can't have puppies." - Mike O (12/31/2013)
wiki trying to mount leah
"Well who was nothing?" - Mike O (12/21/2013)
"Too many words." - Mike O (12/21/2013)
one of the cah cards
"Smells like dirty a*s." - Mike O (12/21/2013)
"Exactly what a lush would say." "Suck it." - Kurt W & Mike O (12/21/2013)
"It would have just a little bump." "Well I don't want little bumps in my car." - Mike O & Cindy O (12/06/2013)
mike was driving cindy's car
"Only when you pluck your butt hairs... I'll bring you a few." - Mike O (12/06/2013)
"S**t. Skank ho." - Mike O (12/06/2013)
"We don't want to play rope!" - Mike O (12/06/2013)
leah
"Are you sure you want to park here. It's kinda shady." "We went in the back end before." - Janny M & Mike O (11/22/2013)
"That just sounds disgusting..." - Mike O (11/22/2013)
what kurt said about playing under the table
"I don't think I like this position." "That's what she said." - Mike O & Janny M (10/24/2013)
"There are tights involved." "Yeah and I picked them out." - Mike O & Cindy O (10/24/2013)
his costume
"While we're young." - Mike O (10/11/2013)
"I'm going to go ahead and fix that right now." - Mike O (10/11/2013)
mike got mistaken for kurts dad
"I hate you." - Mike O (10/11/2013)
tempers fly during mexican train
"I couldn't see." "Open your eyes." "Shut your face." - Mike O & Cindy O (09/27/2013)
"So get to steppin, b***h." - Mike O (09/20/2013)
his mom
"Okay. Drink your drink." "Shut your face." - Mike O & Kurt W (09/20/2013)
"It's a thunder trumpet." - Mike O (09/20/2013)
"All the Oompa Lumpa's were men." - Mike O (09/20/2013)
"It's not bad. Taste it." "No, I'm okay." "Taste it." - Mike O & Kurt W (08/30/2013)
"He's not a leather daddy." - Mike O (08/30/2013)
"We're not into leather... or whips or chains..." - Mike O (08/30/2013)
"Kurt's just bashful." - Mike O (08/30/2013)
"We were a lot thinner then." - Mike O (08/22/2013)
seeing pictures of him & kurt from years ago
"So how do you park in D C?" "It's easy. You go to where it says valet." - Mike O & Brian C (08/22/2013)
parking a big truck in dc
"You look so green." "Well we were younger then." - Rachel I & Mike O (08/22/2013)
"It's only hair. It'll grow back." - Mike O (08/11/2013)
"Are you a wicket witch? You're going to melt with the water." "Maybe." "Well, s**t." - Mike O & Cindy O (08/09/2013)
"You could put the padding in the shirt." - Mike O (08/09/2013)
he has a nursing shirt idea
"What's this word?" "...Penis." - Janny M & Mike O (08/09/2013)
"When all else fails I can always masturbate to... that's disgusting... Dick Cheney." - Mike O (07/12/2013)
"I don't poop anymore." - Mike O (06/28/2013)
"That's one of the oldest laws on the books... that they're trying to get off." "Literally." - Mike O & Kurt W (06/28/2013)
a wv law saying u can have sex with anything over 50 lbs
"If that's the case we'll sell this b***h and move to something smaller." - Mike O (06/14/2013)
their house
"Don't forget the bleached a*shole." - Mike O (06/14/2013)
"What's that smell? Republicans." - Mike O (06/14/2013)
"Ronald Reagan would not win." - Mike O (06/14/2013)
who mike thinks about during sex
"I drew the Oprah one and I thought 'this is f**ked up'." - Mike O (06/07/2013)
"How did I lose my virginity? Really? Sarah Palin?" - Mike O (06/07/2013)
"Instead of coal, Santa new gives the bad children AIDS." - Mike O (06/07/2013)
cards against humanity
"I'll put him on the right side because he's from Britain." - Mike O (06/07/2013)
kurts car in life
"What the f**k?" - Mike O (05/26/2013)
he threw the ball, the dogs ran to it but didn't get it
"Oh damn. I was hoping she'd go for the twelve and the two." - Mike O (05/24/2013)
his moms placement in catan
"You wanna be the white queen?" - Mike O (05/24/2013)
"Thank you. Hell f**king yeah. Booty call!" - Mike O (05/24/2013)
"You see how little it is?" "Yeah, it is small... That's what she said." - Mike O & Janny M (05/10/2013)
"Go on... F**k!" - Mike O (05/10/2013)
"Who's turn is it?" "Grandma Moses over here... s**t." - Janny M & Mike O (05/10/2013)
"Hell." - Mike O (04/28/2013)
he threw the frizbee and it hit the bird feeder
"I was like 'No... that's not a dog!" - Mike O (04/28/2013)
the great dane that's in their neighborhood
"We don't ship our pants..." - Mike O (04/26/2013)
a funny k mart commercial
"It kinda just fits down in the holes." "That's what she said." - Mike O & Janny M (04/26/2013)
"Give me the house..." - Mike O (04/26/2013)
"There's a lot of baby making going on so I need some fives..." - Mike O (04/26/2013)
to give to players when they have babies
"I like the cup." "Leave it here." - Cindy O & Mike O (03/29/2013)
"What the f**k?" "Good." - Mike O & Kurt W (03/29/2013)
"We got masking tape." "No. We're not gonna tape it to her face." "Well maybe an ear..." - Kurt W & Mike O (03/29/2013)
stacy had to make a mask for quelf
"They have three pages of appetizers. Jesus." - Mike O (03/15/2013)
tgi fridays
"Well you were flashing me so..." - Mike O (03/15/2013)
"Ew. That's wet." - Mike O (03/15/2013)
"His name was Mister Rodgers." "Would you be his neighbor?" - Kurt W & Mike O (03/15/2013)
"This guy's stuck on a six!" - Mike O (03/15/2013)
"Yeah but I've been sitting over here like a..." "Douche bag?" - Mike O & Kurt W (03/15/2013)
"Let's go potty... everybody..." - Mike O (03/15/2013)
"If I hit the Ford, I hit the Ford... It has full coverage." - Mike O (03/01/2013)
his mom's car
"Please don't sing again." - Mike O (03/01/2013)
to kurt, playing quelf
"No, the stunt was pretty fun except I'm sitting with my pants inside out." - Mike O (03/01/2013)
"You could have said feces." - Mike O (03/01/2013)
everyone said ew afterward
"What's wrong, Pumpkin? Are they not sweet enough?" "No. They're kinda bitter." - Brian C & Mike O (03/01/2013)
"Ah! I don't know what that says..." - Mike O (03/01/2013)
"That's a pterodactyl?" - Mike O (03/01/2013) (pic)
"Well it's a his and hers." "In a guest bathroom?" - Brian C & Mike O (02/22/2013)
"Sheeba here might make it to twenty." "I hope not." - Brian C & Mike O (02/22/2013)
"Kurt isn't violent... but this b***h." - Mike O (02/12/2013)
his mom
"I'm sick of chicken. I don't want to sprout feathers and fly." - Mike O (02/01/2013)
"I can't believe they're like small." "That's what she said." - Mike O & Janny M (02/01/2013)
"The other way, Kurt." "That's what she said." - Cindy O & Mike O (01/18/2013)
"Now the Jack In The Box founder who stars in all their T V commercials?" "Jack..." "Box..." - Brian C & Kurt W & Mike O (01/18/2013)
it's true! his last name is box
"Let me stop and think." "Don't hurt yourself." - Mike O & Janny M (01/04/2013)
"Oh piss." - Mike O (01/04/2013)
"My turn's not over." - Mike O (01/04/2013)
he passed the dice
"You make me sick. You realize that? I'm gonna cut you, b***h." - Mike O (11/24/2012)
"Well you wanna know the scores?" "No." "Well I'm gonna tell you anyway." - Mike O & Brian C (11/24/2012)
"There's eleven of us..." - Mike O (11/16/2012)
there were 5 of us
"I was like I know you did not do that. I'm gonna cut you, b***h." - Mike O (11/16/2012)
freed the mexican train and not him
"I'm starting to think we need to leave West Virginia out of the country all together." - Mike O (11/06/2012)
"What's wrong with wrestling?" "It's f**king fake." - Janny M & Mike O (11/06/2012)
"Annie Oakley over here has a pistol." - Mike O (11/02/2012)
"Distinguished..." "Pigeons." - Mike O & Brian C (11/02/2012)
"Celine Dion." "She's in there." - Mike O & Janny M (11/02/2012)
for manly
"Poodles for the win!" - Mike O (11/02/2012)
for smart
"It's gotta be that one." - Mike O (11/02/2012)
chickens for creative
"That's good cause I'm ready to f**k you up." - Mike O (11/02/2012)
"Leah will lick it up." "She's too young." - Kurt W & Mike O (11/02/2012)
spilled beer
"See. I told you I wouldn't win. I was kilts." - Mike O (10/26/2012)
"I'm gonna cut you, b***h." - Mike O (10/26/2012)
now he's got me saying it again
"That's how I don't have to drive. I do things to scare him." - Mike O (09/07/2012)
mike is a crazy driver
"B***h is always spazzed." - Mike O (09/07/2012)
"There's another one hidden under playful." - Mike O (09/07/2012)
a card
"Sorry, that was just... perfect." - Mike O (09/07/2012)
the adjective perfect
"Your love life is hopeless?" - Mike O (09/07/2012)
"The wood port is in between two brick." - Mike O (08/24/2012)
makes sense to me
"You make me f**king sick." - Mike O (08/24/2012)
kurt's inability to do smart things in catan
"I can't get wood." - Mike O (08/24/2012)
poor guy
"It was a piece of s**t." "No, it wasn't. It was just designed wrong." - Cindy O & Mike O (07/27/2012)
their volvo
"Where are you gonna stick it?" "Up his a*s if he's not careful." - Cindy O & Mike O (07/27/2012)
trionimos
"She's divorced now." "My sister?" - Mike O & Janny M (07/20/2012)
lee ann rymes
"Did you just stick that in your mouth?" "No, I sniffed it." - Mike O & Kurt W (07/20/2012)
"No cause that's dry." "That's what she said." - Mike O & Janny M (07/20/2012)
"The consumption of alcoholic beverages may impair your ability to play trionimos." - Mike O (07/20/2012)
it does
"That red ball's seen better days." - Mike O (07/03/2012)
it's been chewed big time
"You make me sick." - Mike O (07/03/2012)
what kurt did
"Today was the hottest day in July." "July? It's June." - Mike O & Janny M (06/29/2012)
"You've been drinking." - Mike O (06/29/2012)
kurt tripped but i was the one drinking
"I'm stuck on an eleven." "That's a ten." - Cindy O & Mike O (06/29/2012)
"It's her twenty fifth birthday." "God she's so young." "I know." - Mike O & Janny M & Kurt W (06/01/2012)
"Oh s**t." - Mike O (06/01/2012)
the gps said to turn left but he turned right
"I couldn't see the woman." "She was dressed in white!" - Mike O & Cindy O (06/01/2012)
rainy night
"Okay..." - Mike O (06/01/2012)
reluctantly picked one of the scriblish things
"I've been close to Cuba." - Mike O (05/19/2012)
by being in florida
"Today..." - Mike O (05/19/2012)
his mom was thinking
"Match maker, match maker make me a match. Find me a midget." - Mike O (05/19/2012)
what the?
"He's just trying to turn tricks." - Mike O (05/19/2012)
wiki & sheba
"I know I'm fat and all but s**t." - Mike O (05/11/2012)
they but baccon on everything
"Sorry. It's all these A's." - Mike O (05/11/2012)
"That just changed my direction." "That's what she said." - Mike O & Janny M (05/11/2012)
"Well they ran out of money..." - Mike O (05/04/2012)
"Think of a diamond in the rough..." - Mike O (04/27/2012)
a house they looked at
"Your car's gonna be outside." - Mike O (04/27/2012)
his mom's car since their cars will be in the garage
"Isn't California nice?" "Yes." "No!" - Janny M & Kurt W & Mike O (04/27/2012)
"Wait. I got five... no six..." "Nine!" - Mike O & Brian C (04/27/2012)
points
"They scatter. Like when you turn the light on roaches." - Mike O (04/13/2012)
people in crosswalks when you look like you're ready to run them over
"I would have gotten a wood." - Mike O (04/13/2012)
wood have...
"It's alright. I'm still dressed." - Mike O (04/13/2012)
he took off his belt which i said was indecent
"That'll work..." - Mike O (04/13/2012)
the card he got
"What do you think I have?" - Mike O (04/13/2012)
he had nothing but an ore
"Sounds like me. What do you need sown?" - Mike O (03/23/2012)
he sows
"I give her her grandma wing." - Mike O (03/23/2012)
his mom
"I went a little Girl Scout crazy..." - Mike O (03/16/2012)
he bought 10 boxes of cookies
"I had a brain moment..." - Mike O (03/16/2012)
"What are you gonna do? Scoop me?" - Mike O (03/16/2012)
she had a cake server
"That skirt and everything is gone." - Mike O (03/10/2012)
getting sammy (their cockerspanial) trimmed
"She b***hes a lot. I'm as far right as I can go." - Mike O (03/10/2012)
the gps kept saying 'keep right'
"I know where you work... for now." - Mike O (03/10/2012)
threatening rachel who just quit
"We kind of condone it." - Mike O (03/10/2012)
calling each other names during mexican train
"She looks at you and the lights are on but no one's home." - Mike O (03/10/2012)
leah, their dog
"And I advise you to think very carefully." - Mike O (03/10/2012)
about her next move
"That's okay. No it's not." - Mike O (03/10/2012)
kurt's move
"The box was literally lying in the back seat." - Mike O (02/17/2012)
a mechanic wanted him to replace the windshield whippers he just replaced
"Next thing you know, we're in the middle of the parade..." - Mike O (02/17/2012)
sharing a story of how him & his grandmother were accidently in a parade, she waved
"Just remember where you sleep at night." - Mike O (02/17/2012)
"He can't. He's a loser." - Mike O (02/17/2012)
"Oh s**t. You're dropping s**t." - Mike O (02/17/2012)
"Ou. It's wet." - Mike O (12/03/2011)
dog poo