Howard T's Quotes
Howard T has made 242 quotes!
"She was nice. She reminded me of a cow." - Howard T (03/23/2017)
"You give me a day and I'll have a bunch of guys here that will make your secret police cry." - Howard T (03/23/2017)
telling me a story
"I'm looking forward to someone trying to break in... target practice." - Howard T (03/23/2017)
"We sat so many times and said, 'I'm gonna die here.'" - Howard T (08/18/2016)
telling me a story about a long walk down a cave
"I don't know how they're gonna get the body out of here; the elevator doesn't work." - Howard T (08/18/2016)
if he died in the cave
"I don't have anything funny to say." - Howard T (05/11/2012)
"Apparently that means something really nasty... in their... country." - Howard T (05/11/2012)
"We were feeding fish, we were feeding everything." - Howard T (10/25/2011)
he ordered 2 kg of calamari
"It's not a little one." "That's what she said." - Howard T & Janny M (10/25/2011)
"Did you?" "No!" - Janny M & Howard T (06/15/2011)
slow down, he speeds
"I was doing a hundred ten going through the Bay Bridge." - Howard T (06/15/2011)
damn!
"I think it was love letters to M***** or something." "Probably." - Janny M & Howard T (06/15/2011)
in his notepads he left
"N I H, they get anymore casual, they'd all be nude." - Howard T (03/16/2011)
"You said she had cleavage..." "Well, she was... rather large..." - Dimitri D & Howard T (03/16/2011)
he showed us with his hands
"Who was the guy with the little mustache?" "Hitler?" - Howard T & Janny M (03/16/2011)
"What? Did I spill?" "No, but you will." - Janny M & Howard T (10/25/2010)
he got napkins
"It looked like the Grand Canyon." - Howard T (10/25/2010)
someone's butt
"It's a pressure point." "I'll say it is." - Dimitri D & Howard T (10/25/2010)
"If I put my hand up, you're not gonna wanna take the picture." - Howard T (08/02/2010)
he didn't want to get his picture holding up the leaning tower of pisa
"I thought graves disease was when you got berried and you didn't wanna be." - Howard T (08/02/2010)
"My luck, the string would break... Aw, damn!" - Howard T (08/02/2010)
ways to prevent people from being berried alive
"These are better than sex." "Thank you. Glad I could offer you pleasure." - Howard T & Dimitri D (06/29/2010)
ice cream snickers bars
"Oh, they love that stuff." "You're horrible." "Well, it's true." - Ric R & Janny M & Howard T (05/28/2010)
black people like watermellon
"You're driving me crazy." "It's not a drive, more like a short walk." - Masoud D & Howard T (05/28/2010)
"So which part of the hole are you going to be?" - Howard T (04/29/2010)
in a massage chair
"How can you tell?" "The size... Yours is much smaller." "Oh, you peeked." - Howard T & Janny M (11/18/2009)
we were talking about our burritos!
"I just saw a breathtaking episode." "Breathtaking episode?" - Dimitri D & Howard T (08/21/2009)
"She bought it." "Yeah, she would." - Dimitri D & Howard T (08/08/2009)
talking about me
"You talk too fast." "You listen too slow." - Janny M & Howard T (08/08/2009)
"They should have used white ink on that tatoo." - Howard T (08/05/2009)
black skin
"He's looking at your thing... Ou!" - Howard T (08/05/2009)
"Let me magnify that for you..." - Howard T (08/05/2009)
talking about small... things...
"I came here to say something." "I can hardly wait." - Dimitri D & Howard T (06/16/2009)
"That's not all the time." "That's all the time, trust me." - Janny M & Howard T (06/16/2009)
that i don't know what i'm saying
"Just take a fork and you can eat right out of your diaper." - Howard T (05/29/2009)
all u can eat buffett
"I guess I'll just mouse myself around." - Howard T (05/20/2009)
his keyboard didn't work
"That's where they're from." "From Venus?" - Howard T & Dimitri D (04/28/2009)
venus fly traps
"She would get upset if she knew why." - Howard T (04/28/2009)
howard's nickname is thin mint
"Mayonnaise wouldn't taste too bad, I guess." - Howard T (04/28/2009)
in coffee
"I know, I always dribble." - Howard T (04/28/2009)
his food
"There is no performance." "We know that, it's running Windows." - Janny M & Howard T (04/28/2009)
"So he's well notched?" - Howard T (04/28/2009)
"You have a reproductive area... that's good to know." - Howard T (04/23/2009)
"Serving size, one half piece." "What? One half piece?" - Janny M & Howard T (04/23/2009) 
tiny little egg, many jokes followed
"Microsoft was thinking, come on now." - Howard T (04/23/2009)
"There it is, it's self destructing... It's loading Windows." - Howard T (04/23/2009)
"What happened to you? I committed SharePointSide." - Howard T (04/23/2009)
lol
"What animals are indigenous to the Amazon?" "Not yaks, that's for sure." - Dimitri D & Howard T (04/22/2009)
"You can always lift it up... the fat I mean." - Howard T (04/22/2009)
fat people see their private parts
"Ah, why do I ask questions?" - Howard T (04/16/2009)
"Toilet paper, why would it write on toilet paper?" - Howard T (04/16/2009)
"I wasn't running my fingers through your fro." - Howard T (04/16/2009)
"It's transferring files, well that's exciting." - Howard T (04/15/2009)
"Insert a blank disk... Well it's blank enough." - Howard T (04/15/2009)
"You notice it's all brown like crap." - Howard T (04/15/2009)
"There's nothing in this pool." - Howard T (04/15/2009)
application pool
"Solution Management... delete sharepoint." - Howard T (04/15/2009)
that's a good solution!
"There are no solutions in the solution store... obviously." - Howard T (04/15/2009)
"Why am I laying down in my car?" - Howard T (04/14/2009)
his chair was leaned back & pretending to drive
"Boy is that log gonna be full!" - Howard T (04/14/2009)
sharepoint error log
"I'm warning you, it might explode." "Well, everything else has." - Janny M & Howard T (04/14/2009)
"We should rename it my crap." - Howard T (04/14/2009)
my documents
"I can see that working already..." - Howard T (04/14/2009)
"Yeah, wheat'll be sorta brown." - Howard T (04/14/2009)
brown like crap
"Who cares?" "I care. It's my computer." - Janny M & Howard T (04/09/2009)
his computer messed up so i wanted to use mine
"Please wait while the wizard screws up your system." - Howard T (04/09/2009)
"Most of them run on my face, too." - Howard T (04/08/2009)
"Technology... I don't know." - Howard T (04/08/2009)
"Wow, that's gonna hurt." - Howard T (04/08/2009)
uninstalling SP might result in loss in functionality, lol
"What do you mean the program has a compatibility issue... It's an uninstall!" - Howard T (04/08/2009)
"It's not compatible with itself." - Howard T (04/08/2009)
"Uh, I gotta configure the gun." - Howard T (04/08/2009)
SP had to configure itself before it uninstalled
"Microsoft doesn't know that it's a Microsoft product?" - Howard T (04/08/2009)
"Run setup... well that worked well." - Howard T (04/08/2009)
it froze
"Up, the staples accidentally broke." - Howard T (04/08/2009)
looking for sw in sealed packages
"What are you doing now?" - Howard T (04/08/2009)
the computer
"How'd you get that boot in your butt?" - Howard T (04/08/2009)
"What is he holding there? ...Something creme... I guess that's appropriate." - Howard T (04/07/2009) (pic)
"I called up a guitar company and read them a serial number." "To a Mana refrigerator?" - Dimitri D & Howard T (03/31/2009)
"It's not like I laid them out there nude." - Howard T (03/31/2009)
"Create a site collection... Well it's already a collection... A collection of crap." - Howard T (03/31/2009)
"I'd take a known error every once in a while... just one." - Howard T (03/31/2009)
microsoft w/ their unknown error, thanks
"How else would you recognize them if it wasn't for their face? I wouldn't recognize any other part of their bodies." - Howard T (03/26/2009)
"They all look like they're five years old." - Howard T (03/26/2009)
"A farm? We barely have a garden." - Howard T (03/26/2009)
server farm
"Download files below... Well we wanna download them at the top." - Howard T (03/26/2009)
"Well I don't know, my machine's growing moss now." - Howard T (03/26/2009)
MOSS
"In addition, MOSS offers business intelligence... like who's going to notice." - Howard T (03/26/2009)
"Well we certainly don't need the business intelligence." - Howard T (03/26/2009)
"That would make sense, wouldn't it? But this is Microsoft." - Howard T (03/26/2009)
"I wanna see the whole package." - Howard T (03/26/2009)
lol
"Oh, look, I got the finger!" - Howard T (03/26/2009)
his computer unfroze
"Oh, I'm sorry, that's a tart, not a muffin." - Howard T (03/24/2009)
"You better watch your back." "Why? There's nobody behind me." - Janny M & Howard T (03/18/2009)
insults me
"You don't have to listen to me." "I don't know why you would." - Janny M & Howard T (03/18/2009)
dimitri ran a red light cause i told him to
"I've seen some things walk by that I wouldn't..." - Howard T (03/17/2009)
"I don't think I understand that I... Black skin hole..." - Howard T (03/17/2009)
"I don't understand." "Me either." - Janny M & Howard T (03/17/2009)
"I wasn't thinking that at the time." - Howard T (03/17/2009)
dimitri wants to EAT the waitresses...
"I can't get that out of my mind." - Howard T (03/17/2009)
the images that form... ugh
"It ranks up there with straddling your grandmother... That image was tough, too." "Speaking of which, I have to call her..." - Howard T & Dimitri D (03/17/2009)
"If I lived here, I'd be depressed." - Howard T (03/11/2009)
those signs saying 'if you lived here, you'd be home'
"There's a lot of woman in him." - Howard T (02/26/2009)
"I was killed by a cabbage patch!" - Howard T (02/26/2009)
"It is a long name... lots of letters..." - Howard T (02/24/2009)
his name lol
"He quit his job Friday to come here... What an idiot." - Howard T (02/18/2009)
"I don't tickle... I smack." - Howard T (02/18/2009)
"That would be fun. I could be someone's pajamas." - Howard T (02/18/2009)
his hair, or lack there of
"No thanks, I don't do organics." - Howard T (02/18/2009)
dimitri offering an apple
"I know my way around the woman's bathroom." - Howard T (02/12/2009)
"Don't write these things down. People will think I'm a pervert." "You're not?" "I didn't say that..." - Howard T & Janny M (02/12/2009)
"I don't really see the connection..." - Howard T (02/11/2009)
dimitri wants to help out a guy with the last name lang
"I don't check his pants." - Howard T (02/11/2009)
his son
"I don't think there's any help for you." - Howard T (02/11/2009)
dimitri
"That didn't sound right as I started to say it." - Howard T (02/11/2009)
he was talking about whipping money out
"A bunch of green stuff... Fungus... Mold..." - Howard T (02/04/2009)
what's in the sandwiches downstairs
"I don't want to show him my banana, he'll go nuts." - Howard T (02/04/2009)
"'Is your banana a goer?' I don't know what that means. It bothers me." - Howard T (02/04/2009)
dimitri was on this monty python kick
"I'll have to take his little ball out here." - Howard T (01/29/2009)
the mouse
"Shove it up your C P U!" - Howard T (01/29/2009)
"It's the same thing except over here. You can see your tree." - Howard T (01/29/2009)
"I got the sound card back..." - Howard T (01/29/2009)
but not the dvd rom
"Well, this isn't true." "I didn't think it was." - Howard T & Janny M (01/22/2009)
"Three months... You might as well get me a puppy." - Howard T (01/22/2009)
the new guy will have to follow howard around for 3 months
"Oh, you hit it anyway, jeez." - Howard T (01/20/2009)
dimitri drove around the speed bump but hit it anyway
"It says no parking any time." "Yeah, not for me." - Howard T & Dimitri D (01/20/2009)
"As the cop pulls up, 'move the car', okay, I don't know where to move it to." - Howard T (01/20/2009)
"Frosty had a sleigh?" - Howard T (01/20/2009)
"Let's break down the word 'proposal'." "Why?" - Dimitri D & Howard T (12/31/2008)
"You dropped your nut on the floor there." - Howard T (12/22/2008)
"This must be a nice place to work... all these trees." "Yeah, but they're all dead." - Janny M & Howard T (12/18/2008)
the place in manassas had a lot of dead trees
"Jesus!" - Howard T (12/18/2008)
almost fell out of his chair, lol
"We weren't married or anything... We just sat together." - Howard T (12/18/2008)
howard & me
"I was so excited that day, I had to eat two fish sandwiches!" - Howard T (12/09/2008)
"Send me my link to thin mint." - Howard T (12/04/2008)
"She kicked my ass. She really did." - Howard T (12/04/2008)
"How do you get the phone in there?" - Howard T (12/04/2008)
phone sex
"I don't know what you're talking about." "I don't either." - Janny M & Howard T (12/02/2008)
"K Y horses?" "Yeah, I know. When he said that, I was like 'are you sure'?" - Janny M & Howard T (11/19/2008)
"What are they doing to those horses?" - Howard T (11/19/2008)
"Or were you wrestling with Dimitri?" "No. If I were doing that, it wouldn't be my back that's hurting." - Janny M & Howard T (11/18/2008)
"If you sit for two hours, you burn a hundred seventy calories." "That takes too much effort." - Janny M & Howard T (11/12/2008)
"Oh... shoot." "Pew!" - Janny M & Howard T (11/06/2008)
"My whole world was backwards." "It still is." - Janny M & Howard T (10/30/2008)
my browser typed things backwords
"Where's my drive? What happened here?" - Howard T (10/27/2008)
"Well, we all have our concerns. Fortunately, none of them are mine." - Howard T (10/23/2008)
"I'm getting tired of ties." "I'm getting tired of your face." "Yeah, me too." - Howard T & Janny M (10/21/2008)
"I have your home phone number." "So do I." - Janny M & Howard T (10/15/2008)
"Did you cry?" "Haha." - Janny M & Howard T (10/07/2008)
dimitri was telling a story
"You should go home." "I should. It's not like I'm going to work or anything." - Janny M & Howard T (09/18/2008)
"See, I know something." "Yeah, well everyone knows something." - Janny M & Howard T (09/18/2008)
"What was that spoon used for?" "Spooning out my nose." - Janny M & Howard T (09/17/2008)
"Spooning is a word?" "It is now." - Janny M & Howard T (09/17/2008)
"Why are you breathing heavily? Dimitri's not around." "Well, just the thought of him." - Janny M & Howard T (09/04/2008)
"My face is dirt? That's not a very nice thing to say." - Howard T (09/04/2008)
"What do you mean where's Howard? What, have I lost weight?" - Howard T (09/04/2008)
"Whatever, I don't have balls in my mouth." "Big black balls... ha!" - Janny M & Howard T (09/02/2008)
like sexual induendos?
"I wasn't showing any leg, that's for sure..." - Howard T (09/02/2008)
2 try 2 get out of a ticket
"I did lots of things to my little sister..." - Howard T (09/02/2008)
ewww
"I'm trying to get this thing floppyized." - Howard T (08/21/2008)
"Format complete. Look at that. That's amazing!" - Howard T (08/21/2008)
"I can't do it when I'm laughing." "You can't do it when you're not laughing." - Janny M & Howard T (08/20/2008)
"I'll just sit here and look at the cacti." - Howard T (08/20/2008) (pic)
"My daughter got upset with me one time because I waxed her turtle." - Howard T (08/20/2008)
"That's not something you should be writing down." - Howard T (08/19/2008)
"Pretty thick thin mint..." - Howard T (08/19/2008)
"Why don't you just keep them in your memory bank?" "She doesn't have one." - Dimitri D & Howard T (08/19/2008)
i can't memorize all these quotes!
"I'll go around molesting girl scouts for their cookies." "You do that anyway." "Yeah, but not everyday." - Howard T & Janny M (08/19/2008)
"He better stop looking into our crack." - Howard T (08/15/2008)
some guy outside looking in the crack between the frame and blind
"I wouldn't make a good prostitute." - Howard T (08/15/2008)
no explination necessary
"Sometimes I work..." - Howard T (08/12/2008)
"What else would they be holding?" "It's hard to say... Well, it's hard not to say..." - Janny M & Howard T (08/12/2008)
dimitri & monique holding hands?
"I almost got my nose tea bagged there..." - Howard T (08/12/2008)
"I don't breathe out and in." "You don't breathe at all, I don't think." - Janny M & Howard T (08/07/2008)
"Janis ate the Indian? I came back at the wrong time here." - Howard T (08/07/2008)
"My package isn't this big." "I wouldn't be broadcasting that if I were you." - Dimitri D & Howard T (08/06/2008)
"I ran out of things to say." "I figured you might." - Janny M & Howard T (08/05/2008)
"Some things you shouldn't be spreading around." "I'm not spreading anything around." "I will." - Howard T & Janny M (08/05/2008)
"See, she doesn't like playing with balls that have been in her mouth." - Howard T (07/30/2008)
we're talking about the bubble milk tea
"What if I run out of balls before my drink is done?" "Just give Dimitri a call." "Yeah, I might have some extra balls for ya." - Janny M & Howard T & Dimitri D (07/30/2008)
"What happened to you? I choked on a ball." - Howard T (07/30/2008)
"You're not supposed to breathe while you're eating balls... Apparently." - Howard T (07/30/2008)
"There are weird people outside." "Wait until you get in." - Monique S & Howard T (07/29/2008)
"I went to Walmart..." "Fishing?" - Dimitri D & Howard T (07/29/2008)
"Ah, yes. The joys of going to work here." - Howard T (07/29/2008)
the quotes we're saying today
"Dimitri's a pony?" "Well, maybe... A Russian little pony." - Janny M & Howard T (07/22/2008)
"At least I'm not as slow or as old as you." "You'll get there." - Janny M & Howard T (07/21/2008)
"What did you write now?" - Howard T (07/21/2008)
a quote
"What's wrong with you? Chasing other people's wives, humping grandmothers..." - Howard T (07/21/2008)
talking about dimitri
"You should have a party when your wife is out of town." "I do." "But I'm never invited." "I only invite hookers." - Janny M & Howard T (07/17/2008)
"I worked for N I H back when it was just N I... They didn't have the H yet." "I don't think they have it now." - Dimitri D & Howard T (07/17/2008)
"That looks normal." - Howard T (07/09/2008)
i was cross eyed
"Nothing's like having a bad crab." - Howard T (07/03/2008)
"I'm more of a one handed kinda guy." - Howard T (07/03/2008)
we were playing ball... but that's not what's so funny
"I wanna see you on the skate board on that." "Naked?" - Howard T & Dimitri D (07/02/2008)
"I don't even think when I say these things." - Howard T (07/01/2008)
his quotes
"No, thanks. I don't wanna bite your banana." - Howard T (07/01/2008)
"What do I look like? A vending machine?" "Eh..." - Janny M & Howard T (06/25/2008)
"Well I try to be as incoherent as possible." - Howard T (06/24/2008)
"If people know what we got paid to do." - Howard T (06/24/2008)
we were playing frizbee
"People cough, that doesn't mean they're walking." - Howard T (06/24/2008)
"Janis, I got something for you." "That's scary." - Mark P & Howard T (06/19/2008)
"I have to go." "You have to go? Well don't do it on the floor." - Dimitri D & Howard T (06/17/2008)
"I can't believe Monique's not a part of the red team!" "Yeah! Who'd she have to sleep with to get out of that?" - Janny M & Howard T (06/13/2008)
"I'll never talk again." - Howard T (06/13/2008)
all the quotes he makes
"You need a lot to drink before that'll sound good." - Howard T (06/12/2008)
me trying to whistle the old spice theme
"I should give you a piece of my mind." "You can't afford it." - Dimitri D & Howard T (06/12/2008)
"Sometimes... I don't know what the hell we're talking about." - Howard T (06/10/2008)
dimitri says random things & walks away
"It was a joke." "Oh, okay. Not a very good one." - Dimitri D & Howard T (06/05/2008)
"Yes, yes, he looks like a camel toe sorta guy." - Howard T (06/03/2008)
i made a remark about dimitri
"We're locking this door from now on." - Howard T (05/29/2008)
if dimitri likes older guys now
"After work? I'd be down there most of the day!" - Howard T (05/29/2008)
if they sold wine coolers downstairs
"I'd get fired for sure." - Howard T (05/29/2008)
"What feels good? Peeing yourself?" "No, well, that feels good too... All nice and warm." - Janny M & Howard T (05/28/2008)
"You better watch it. I know what your car looks like." "So do I." - Janny M & Howard T (05/27/2008)
"It's full of crap is what it is." - Howard T (05/22/2008)
"It needs to be something short and stubby." "That's why we were laughing." - Dimitri D & Howard T (05/22/2008)
"There's no war zone in Cambodia." - Howard T (05/20/2008)
"Don Turtliony." - Howard T (05/20/2008)
"What happened to you? I don't know my face is in my eye." - Howard T (05/15/2008)
"No, not something that I really get into..." - Howard T (05/15/2008)
"Come back when you've got less to say." - Howard T (05/15/2008)
"No, nothing's in my head." "Yes, I know. You've proved that." - Howard T & Janny M (05/15/2008)
"Well a twinkie won't eat a cockroach either, so they're even." - Howard T (05/08/2008)
"You laughed at me?" "Yeah, well, you sorta had to." - Janny M & Howard T (05/06/2008)
"That's not what I heard him call you." - Howard T (05/06/2008)
"Everyone looks better when they don't have to spend the weekend with M*****." - Howard T (04/28/2008)
"I don't want to be part of that group massage." - Howard T (04/23/2008)
one with dimitri's grandmother
"Where's a real snake when you need one?" - Howard T (04/23/2008)
"I hardly ever look at his ass." - Howard T (04/23/2008)
"No... what are you talking about?" "Nothing much..." - Janny M & Howard T (04/22/2008)
"Let's hope he has his pants on backward when he's straddling his grandmother." - Howard T (04/17/2008)
"See, I have to go." "No! ...How long?" "I don't know. Could be days." - Howard T & Janny M (04/16/2008)
"You're the one who brought it up." "Yes, but I'm not the one straddling my grandmother." - Janny M & Howard T (04/16/2008)
"You're the one who said I straddle my grandmother." - Howard T (04/15/2008)
"I didn't even want that image to form." - Howard T (04/15/2008)
"Well if you spend all your time humping your grandma..." - Howard T (04/15/2008)
"I can see why he picked it." - Howard T (04/08/2008)
not sure y this is a quote, i guess it was funny @ the time
"Saving my settings, oh good." - Howard T (04/07/2008)
"He doesn't seem to believe me. I don't know why." - Howard T (04/07/2008)
"Alright, go ahead and reboot, I guess." - Howard T (04/03/2008)
"You can do some mad snow boarding at Cape Hattaris." - Howard T (01/15/2008)