Erin L's Quotes
Erin L has made 502 quotes!
"The problem is all our cats were alive back then." - Erin L (09/19/2019)
why she didn't adopt our kittens
"I mean, do you really wanna see Will Ferrell's pimples?" - Erin L (06/23/2019)
4k ultra high def tv
"No, Ella did. She's a very poor peach inspector." - Erin L (05/24/2019)
ella picked a rotten peach at the store
"I texted you an hour ago at the grocery store. Do you think I'm still there?" - Erin L (05/24/2019)
talking to her sister over the phone
"Iron core." "Yeah, but that's not how her brain works." - Bear M & Erin L (05/24/2019)
erin was talking about me; heart core; code names
"I don't think she thinks like that." - Erin L (05/24/2019)
me; code names
"I mean for seven hundred fifty thousand dollars I wouldn't piss there." - Erin L (05/24/2019)
a house she was looking at
"Is this queen like Queen of England or Queen like the music band?" - Erin L (05/24/2019)
"Why are we fighting with this? I won." - Erin L (05/24/2019)
"Do you know how to read still?" - Erin L (05/24/2019)
"It's not high enough." "That's what she said." - Bear M & Erin L (04/13/2019)
"But it's just really loud." "That's the point of a movie!" - Erin L & Bear M (04/13/2019)
"Why didn't they just give it back?" - Erin L (04/13/2019)
give john wick his car back; good point!
"She looks really lesbiany." - Erin L (01/20/2019)
"I don't work in your kitchen." - Erin L (01/20/2019)
"They can still do the hugging and rolling around on the ground..." - Erin L (01/20/2019)
if she made rules for football
"Here's your choices. Bed or eat dinner then bed." - Erin L (12/28/2018)
talking to ella
"I say it's L O L, I just spent twenty dollars on a piece of s**t." - Erin L (12/28/2018)
lol dolls
"We told the guy he'd get a hug and kiss." - Erin L (12/28/2018)
bri answered the door; the delivery person was a female
"Just so long as I don't have to get my rectum dirty." "You will. It's part of the game." "Hmm. Okay, I'm in." - Bear M & Erin L (12/28/2018)
"You'd be like you play a violin with this then he'd say a banjo then you'd be like, 'no, you're an idiot.'" - Erin L (12/28/2018)
"I wouldn't eat no penguin cake, I'm just saying." - Erin L (12/28/2018)
"I don't know about controllers. I don't know how they work." - Erin L (12/28/2018)
"Bear, when you put that on my head it makes me feel really sad." - Erin L (12/28/2018)
beer
"Oh, at least this is more racially diverse." - Erin L (12/28/2018)
"I have a career to look out for." - Erin L (12/28/2018)
"I don't need you to sit there and criticize me." "I"m standing." - Erin L & Bear M (11/22/2018)
"I wish I was pregnant so I could get these clothes." - Erin L (11/22/2018)
"It's a boob apron." - Erin L (11/22/2018)
"Mister B. What are you talking about? Sexual harassment?" - Erin L (11/22/2018)
"Not every brie is for me." - Erin L (11/22/2018)
cheese joke
"Yeah, totally worth it." - Erin L (10/26/2018)
dna testing to see if the two orange kittens are identical twins
"Not high enough." - Erin L (10/26/2018)
paul's security clearance isn't high enough to know where erin & bear live
"That sounds illegal." - Erin L (10/26/2018)
disney not paying their employees
"This is an educational experience..." - Erin L (10/26/2018)
erin was telling people about law
"Where's daddy? Oh, I think he's having a Chipotle experience in the bathroom." - Erin L (10/12/2018)
"Let's say it's cesspool..." - Erin L (10/12/2018)
"Yeah, some kids, f**k em?" "Right?" - Janny M & Erin L (08/31/2018)
"She's like a sophomore." - Erin L (08/31/2018)
ella in preschool
"Don't yell at me." "I didn't. I growled." - Erin L & Bear M (08/31/2018)
"It gets confusing when you smell a lot of stuff." - Erin L (08/31/2018)
sure it does... but she was talking about candles
"He goes to church when he needs votes." - Erin L (08/31/2018)
her dad
"They were like, 'I don't think you belong in this here parts.'" - Erin L (08/18/2018)
she drove over to see what was behind her house
"They always make their s**t look like s**t though." - Erin L (08/18/2018)
"That's what ignorance is..." - Erin L (08/18/2018)
"I"m just trying to get people to vie me money." - Erin L (08/18/2018)
"Is Erin's full of whiskey?" "No... it's vodka." - Brian C & Erin L (08/03/2018)
"Let's just say it wasn't red tainted." - Erin L (08/03/2018)
bear had a gray goose with a little cranberry juice
"Maybe he's Muslim?" - Erin L (08/03/2018)
dumbledore doesn't trim his beard
"Lucifur isn't allowed in the chimney." - Erin L (08/03/2018)
her cat
"So you're agreeing to do it?" - Erin L (08/03/2018)
"Well you went to the desert in the middle of the summer, what did you expect?" - Erin L (07/20/2018)
vegas was hot
"No, I'm not gonna do face time. My Mom's way too complicated." - Erin L (07/20/2018)
"It's a plot twist, Bear." - Erin L (07/20/2018)
the game we were playing
"What? A button fly?" - Erin L (07/20/2018)
she doesn't like button flys
"Let's just say he guessed the boobs thing." - Erin L (07/20/2018)
"Well it's got ice in it... or it did..." - Erin L (07/20/2018)
she was drinking whisky all night
"Sounds super green, Bear." - Erin L (07/20/2018)
suggesting texting instead of using paper
"I can just drink whisky for dinner." - Erin L (06/08/2018)
"Who drove?" "Me, of course." "Aren't you intoxicated?" - Erin L & Bear M (06/08/2018)
brian actually drove
"F**k that s**t. You should have called the little Mexican dude that we had. Charge you seventy five dollars." - Erin L (06/08/2018)
"And you had sex with him?" "Irrelevant." - Janny M & Erin L (06/08/2018)
"That was a good time cause I like money. And it was free." - Erin L (06/08/2018)
"How's that whisky treating ya?" "It's going great, Bear." - Bear M & Erin L (06/08/2018)
"It's short people..." - Erin L (06/08/2018)
"The neighbors are afraid of you!" - Erin L (06/08/2018)
they're afraid of bear
"Not on the retardo side but the other side." - Erin L (06/08/2018)
"You don't smile and wave." - Erin L (06/08/2018)
at neighbors
"It's super simple." - Erin L (06/08/2018)
to be nice to neighbors
"It's like why am I eating this thick slice of bread?" - Erin L (05/11/2018)
pizza with little cheese
"What if she got frostbite and died?" "Probably wouldn't happen." - Erin L & Bear M (05/11/2018)
if bear & bri threw me in the pool
"Harry Potter is like baby time travel s**t." - Erin L (05/11/2018)
"We talked about it and you stated your intentions." - Erin L (04/20/2018)
"...Put him on an allowance. Have you do expense reports, everyday." - Erin L (04/20/2018)
bear spends a lot of money
"The cactus is beautiful artwork for someone who basically has an art degree." - Erin L (04/20/2018)
her artwork
"Like I'm a gay guy but I prefer my men to have vaginas." - Erin L (04/20/2018)
"Actually if I could use a blow torch I think I could do it but the Bear said no." - Erin L (04/15/2018)
they have a pipe issue & need a plummer
"The Bear will order that the day he wants to file for divorce." - Erin L (04/15/2018)
a pool heater
"But it also gets rid of the natural oils on my hand..." - Erin L (03/31/2018)
"Half of my clothes are funeral appropriate so I'm good on that front." - Erin L (03/31/2018)
"People love it. They can see your s**t." - Erin L (03/31/2018)
hosting political events at the candidates' house
"She used to f**k random Mexicans she found on rooftops." "That's not true. They weren't Mexican." - Bear M & Erin L (03/31/2018)
"It's okay. We all have herpes." "Don't worry. It's genital." - Erin L & Bear M (03/31/2018)
"My daddy drank too much scotch. That's why I'm late." - Erin L (03/09/2018)
as ella
"This fits there nicely." "I know. I've put them there before." "Well aren't you special?" - Bear M & Erin L (03/09/2018)
their decorations to clear room for games
"I didn't want to undercut you and call you homeless." - Erin L (03/09/2018)
caitlyn was the homeless drunk
"Just cause he's not allowed to do it..." - Erin L (03/09/2018)
the bear
"You can also use a thing called free will." "Sounds like a reason to get some more scotch." - Erin L & Bear M (03/09/2018)
"Small towns. That's why you get the f**k out of there." - Erin L (03/09/2018)
why her parents got married and had kids
"You're not that experienced of a driver today." - Erin L (03/09/2018)
bear
"Erin, who did you torture enough for them to haunt you?" "...It could be any number of people." - Brian C & Erin L (03/04/2018)
they have ghosts that follow them
"I don't think that's appropriate at this moment in time." - Erin L (02/16/2018)
lubing her wood board
"No guys. This is my real viewpoint..." - Erin L (02/16/2018)
arguing about guns; she was joking
"I thought everybody had herpes now a days." - Erin L (02/16/2018)
"But then there's the woman at seven nine three who actually wants to be raped..." - Erin L (02/16/2018)
"I have so many talents, I've been told. It's unbelievable." - Erin L (02/16/2018)
"It wasn't my favorite thing to look at..." - Erin L (02/16/2018)
a girl with ugly boobs
"Is that Hugh Hefner?" - Erin L (02/09/2018)
an old man with a sexy woman
"I'm probably gonna be too drunk." - Erin L (02/09/2018)
to do an escape room
"Are you microwaving the bread?" "Yeah. You guys brought half way cooked bread so I had to microwave it." - Janny M & Erin L (02/09/2018)
"Oh my goodness! Why is this so wet?" "That's what she said." - Erin L & Janny M (02/09/2018)
something with ella
"Well you don't know what her life goals were; maybe that was one of them." - Erin L (02/09/2018)
to have 25 guys tested on murray
"If you said I could have a penis, I'd be like... done!" - Erin L (02/09/2018)
"And I'm drunk as f**k." - Erin L (02/09/2018)
"Can you give Ella a shot of water?" "I don't want my daughter doing shots." - Erin L & Bear M (01/19/2018)
"Yeah, client dinners where you just have to give blow jobs under the table." "If only it was that easy." - Bear M & Erin L (01/19/2018)
"Who's this Chris guy he's with?" "A guy named Chris." - Erin L & Bear M (01/19/2018)
"Was it a guy or a chick... I'm just checking, Bear." - Erin L (01/19/2018)
"No. Nothing like a penis." - Erin L (01/19/2018)
"Sounds like something you would do..." - Erin L (01/19/2018)
"Leave her alone. No sexual harassment in the house." - Erin L (01/19/2018)
bear & bri were sexually harassing elexa
"Have you been sorted into Gryffindor? How legit is this?" - Erin L (12/29/2017)
bri was sorted into gryffindor on a few harry potter quizes
"If the Bear wouldn't give a simple blowjob for half a million dollars, he's divorce material." - Erin L (12/29/2017)
"Ella is a hard crowd to please." - Erin L (12/29/2017)
"Did I tell you guys I'm going to China?" "When?" "High noon." - Erin L & Janny M & Bear M (12/29/2017)
"You've never spit out a bug?" "Nope. I swallowed that b***h." - Erin L & Bear M (12/29/2017)
"It was a different situation." - Erin L (12/29/2017)
embarrassing stories came out
"It was a long time before I met you, Bear." - Erin L (12/29/2017)
embarrassing stories came out
"It's not even that funny of a joke..." - Erin L (12/29/2017)
loosen the salt shaker so it spills the next time someone uses it
"I did but I wasn't naked." - Erin L (12/29/2017)
"He had a last name, too." - Erin L (12/29/2017)
"Whoever stole it put it on the table." - Erin L (12/08/2017)
she claimed someone stole her drink
"I don't believe paper can be owned." - Erin L (12/08/2017)
we needed paper for mexican train
"Wouldn't it be brown, though?" - Erin L (12/08/2017)
the mexican train... it's black
"I'm not even around your boneyard." "Not tonight, you're not." - Erin L & Bear M (12/08/2017)
erin was invading bears domino space
"I've never been convicted of stealing money cause I'm that good." - Erin L (12/08/2017)
"You're ruining my life!" - Erin L (12/08/2017)
bear messing with dominos
"I really hate you right now. And tomorrow doesn't look good either." - Erin L (12/08/2017)
"Glass beads. It's like he's at a f**king spa." - Erin L (12/08/2017) (pic)
lucifer's bowl has glass beads in it
"People usually choose to marry people that are genetically similar to themselves." "Not in our family." - Erin L & Dawn F (11/23/2017)
"I persevere... white privilege and all..." - Erin L (11/23/2017)
"Most people would be most excited if their wives got them that." - Erin L (10/27/2017)
lots of flying dog beer; bear didn't like it too much
"See. I come and go. You just stay here and fester..." - Erin L (10/27/2017)
she notices if the house smells
"They have hush puppies." "I don't even know what those are. Are those shoes?" - Brian C & Erin L (10/27/2017)
bri was reading choices for dinner
"Do not chew on it." - Erin L (10/27/2017)
talking to bear about his pants
"Like thirty times a night. It seems excessive." - Erin L (10/27/2017)
how many times bear poops
"But that was like a drilling professional..." - Erin L (10/27/2017)
many jokes came from this
"We should close these so nobody spies on us." - Erin L (10/20/2017)
the curtains
"Ella's Mercedes." - Erin L (10/20/2017)
i heard a horn & it freaked me out
"Daddy's crazy. I need a purple one." - Erin L (10/20/2017)
"If they were cats they'd be cuddling and looking cute in windows." - Erin L (10/20/2017)
wiki & evie were being annoying
"He was like, 'this is normal.'" "This is Tuesday night." - Bear M & Erin L (10/20/2017)
a friend they know... wacky stories
"Don't worry. When I get tired I'll just call the police." - Erin L (10/20/2017)
to end her party
"That doesn't sound organic." - Erin L (10/20/2017)
how to make cocaine
"Well word on the street is it's supposed to be in the nineties." - Erin L (09/22/2017)
what the temperature was going to be that weekend
"They didn't buy any of the excuses I was giving which were completely believable." - Erin L (09/22/2017)
she was callling about bears prescriptions
"Um, this is very dangerous." "Actually it's very safe." - Janny M & Erin L (09/22/2017)
texting and driving
"Not when we were together." - Erin L (09/22/2017)
when bear had his nipples pierced
"My feet are cold. I'm going to get socks. Does anybody else need socks?" - Erin L (09/22/2017)
first time i was offered socks
"I'm being super honest." - Erin L (09/22/2017)
in bs
"Every job he's had I've procured." - Erin L (09/08/2017)
bear
"No thanks. I'm good. I'm gonna drink whiskey like a real lady." - Erin L (09/08/2017)
if she wanted a mai tai
"Uh oh! Evie already got the Z!" - Erin L (09/08/2017)
ella's alphabet puzzle
"Uh oh! She got the U, too." - Erin L (09/08/2017)
ella's alphabet puzzle, the dog was chewing the letters
"The housing value will go down because they'll know a murder occurred here." - Erin L (09/08/2017)
if they get a pool heater erin will kill bear
"We narrowed our suspects." - Erin L (09/08/2017)
who left the lemonaderita over their place
"My mouth tastes like college right now." - Erin L (09/08/2017)
"You have to drink hers." "But he's not a chick." - Erin L & Janny M (09/08/2017)
i had to drink for bear as a rule in kings
"No I'm thinking of like dead." - Erin L (09/08/2017)
"Tastes like grass." - Erin L (07/23/2017)
the drink she made
"Brian has plotted out all the nasty food options in this region." - Erin L (07/23/2017)
"I can't promise these will taste delicious but they're here." - Erin L (07/23/2017)
they made these cupcake things
"I can get a bigger one." "That's what she said." - Erin L & Bear M (07/23/2017)
"I am delightful and polite." - Erin L (07/23/2017)
"Then they blamed me for their unproductivity... calling it bad project management." - Erin L (07/15/2017)
bear & his friend didn't get the bat house up
"Now we have normal people insurance." - Erin L (07/15/2017)
her company used to have awesome health insurance
"Mommy needs a vodka drink." - Erin L (07/15/2017)
"Can you call it my slush fund?" - Erin L (07/15/2017)
she didn't drink all her daiquiri & bear wanted to combine them
'That's not the kind of live we lead around here." - Erin L (07/15/2017)
assuming things have been taken care of
"You want your boob jobs to be firm." - Erin L (07/15/2017)
"Brian Miller. This is grounds for divorce." - Erin L (06/25/2017)
he bought cases of hot sauce
"She's looking for someone who knows something about air forcing..." - Erin L (06/10/2017)
"My mom is a different story..." - Erin L (06/10/2017)
"There were a lot of boob ratio out." - Erin L (06/04/2017)
"We don't want to get cancer this summer." - Erin L (06/04/2017)
need sunblock
"Yeah. This is for kids, right?" - Erin L (06/03/2017)
mike's hard lemonade
"Do they still have funding?" - Erin L (05/29/2017)
maryland epa
"What did Bear say?" "Pelican briefs?" - Janny M & Erin L (05/28/2017)
"Let me finish... I'm on a roll." - Erin L (05/28/2017)
she was cleaning bear
"And all the pens are in strict lock down." - Erin L (05/28/2017)
ella writes on the walls
"S**t tons of guns and somehow he didn't die." - Erin L (05/28/2017)
bear's parents had a lot of guns
"How many languages do you speak?" "Zero... Uh English." - Janny M & Erin L (05/28/2017)
"If I die an untimely death..." - Erin L (05/28/2017)
"I feel like you're obligated, like you can't just be like, 'how does this taste?' 'Uh, it tastes awful.' 'Great, I'll take it!'" - Erin L (05/24/2017)
asking people who work at liquor stores how stuff tastes
"Joe's fish? That was the fish's name?" - Erin L (05/24/2017)
"Did I ever tell you about my fish that wouldn't die?" - Erin L (05/24/2017)
she had a fish that wouldn't die
"You don't experience things the way I do." - Erin L (05/24/2017)
"I'd just do it on Craigslist..." - Erin L (05/24/2017)
get people to put things together for her
"I can't answer complex questions like that." - Erin L (05/12/2017)
did they mortor or lay the brick
"We were pretty drunk when we thought of it." - Erin L (05/12/2017)
idea for a tshirt
"Does Brian even feed this dog?" - Erin L (05/12/2017)
evie was chewing on everything
"What are you getting out of this interaction?" - Erin L (05/12/2017)
"We're not skilled enough for that." - Erin L (05/12/2017)
"Brian. You're not my friend." - Erin L (05/12/2017)
"Everything's going to hell." - Erin L (05/12/2017)
"How else would you draw boobs?" "Lots of ways." - Janny M & Erin L (05/12/2017) (pic)
"Do you need supervision?" - Erin L (04/21/2017)
bri & bear were going to be alone for a bit
"I'm under a lot of stress at work so I can't be trusted to do adult things." - Erin L (04/21/2017)
"Look it. It looks like old people skin." - Erin L (04/21/2017)
"Change a flat tire? That's too much work." - Erin L (04/21/2017)
"What's her name?" "My name." - Erin L & Bear M (04/21/2017)
erin said to put in our names so i put my name
"Bear, you're such a dirty f**k." - Erin L (04/21/2017)
"But where could you wear it?" "To work." - Bear M & Erin L (04/21/2017)
glad you came shirt
"Are you squirter?" "I'm not even in yet!" - Bear M & Erin L (04/21/2017)
i put my name as squirter & bear thought it was erin
"Birds, rats, saw dust..." - Erin L (04/14/2017)
all of the things she doesn't like
"It's like they want to be alive." - Erin L (04/14/2017)
plants that keep growing
"People in my family live a long time." "He's a cat!" - Erin L & Bear M (04/14/2017)
lucifur will live a long time
"Get your a*s over here and we'll give you some f**king money." - Erin L (04/14/2017)
"Just always listen to me and everything will be fine." - Erin L (04/14/2017)
"Erin loves the word tits." "I hate the word tits." - Bear M & Erin L (04/14/2017)
"Just think about it now and think they're on version 670." - Erin L (04/14/2017)
trivial persuit
"This must be a Picasso we're waiting for." - Erin L (04/14/2017)
bear was taking a long time with his drawing
"I just didn't have enough fingers!" - Erin L (04/14/2017)
"This is so f**ked up it's obviously Asian." - Erin L (04/14/2017)
the game we were playing
"That house is smaller than Downton Abby." - Erin L (03/18/2017)
tom brady's house
"Guys really like Brian." - Erin L (03/18/2017)
bear
"I don't know what that is but I'm not hip enough." - Erin L (03/18/2017)
dick fingers
"I'm not sure about my counting ability..." - Erin L (03/18/2017)
being inebriated
"That's a lot to experience." - Erin L (03/18/2017)
something taint
"Where are his eyebrows?" "I think he forgot them." - Dana G & Erin L (03/18/2017)
"Like twigs... that's okay in my wine." - Erin L (03/03/2017)
dead animal parts in wine
"That's not chocolate so it won't come off." - Erin L (03/03/2017)
her niece is dark skinned & she was trying to wash it off
"Or when you leave the country just don't be foreign." - Erin L (03/03/2017)
"We're fourty five percent nice." - Erin L (03/03/2017)
"...And their World Of Warcraft... F**k that game." - Erin L (03/03/2017)
"Men are not allowed to wear yoga pants." "That sounds like a challenge!" - Erin L & Bear M (03/03/2017)
"I'm just saying, that guy is getting a fourth date." - Erin L (03/03/2017)
cah cards
"Why it tastes like s**t." - Erin L (03/03/2017)
maxwell coffee
"That's very complex..." - Erin L (03/03/2017)
her card
"Which will also give you mouth herpes." - Erin L (03/03/2017)
god
"Well that's just a wrong wardrobe choice." - Erin L (03/03/2017)
shirt too short
"Trump is probably a Red Lobster guy." - Erin L (03/03/2017)
"I'm very excited about its redness." - Erin L (01/08/2017)
her new washer & dryer
"I don't want my work to know I took Ella on a train ride." - Erin L (01/08/2017)
her receipt was mailed to her work email
"We got reimbursed with the nanny who ran away." - Erin L (01/08/2017)
their tales of nannys who run away
"He can't just push through it?" - Erin L (01/08/2017)
how carr from the raiders broke his fibula
"How's your cat doing? He's still alive with diabetes?" - Erin L (01/08/2017)
yep
"Can you take that cord out of its butt hole?" "Not without my screw driver." - Erin L & Bear M (01/08/2017)
"No. It's really hard. Using your brain is tricky." - Erin L (01/08/2017)
taking the bar
"I'm pretty sure it's someone in my family cause they haven't said, 'let's f**k,' yet." - Erin L (01/08/2017)
her notifications from snapchat
"I mean if they're doing it, they must get results, right?" - Erin L (01/08/2017)
the let's f**k messages
"I don't know what it's about. It has guns and stuff. You're going to like it." - Erin L (01/08/2017)
a tv show that tells us nothing about what it's about but she wants to watch
"Brian, you're never coming here again!" - Erin L (01/08/2017)
bri was giving bear ideas
"Erin takes school so seriously that I fear if she didn't do well, she'd have a psychological breakdown." - Erin L (04/17/2016)
that's the review one of her teachers gave her
"Bird... housing accommodations." - Erin L (04/16/2016)
she bought a bird house
"The money cured the cancer." - Erin L (02/11/2016)
the founder of smoothie king
"She's into older men." - Erin L (02/06/2016)
ella
"I was like, 'Okay. I must look super safe.'" - Erin L (02/06/2016)
at the airport she didn't have to pull out anything
"Don't they get like a nasty Muslim-like hair?" - Erin L (08/26/2015)
"It took four hours just to put that f**ker together." - Erin L (06/06/2015)
a friends ikea couch
"Some how he made it through." - Erin L (06/06/2015)
bear didn't have patio furniture for a bit
"Ella, you ready for your drink?" - Erin L (06/06/2015)
erin ordered a margarita for ella (just kidding)
"I picked her up from the mental institution, literally." - Erin L (06/06/2015)
"Uphill both ways." - Erin L (06/06/2015)
"The dog dealer, if you will..." - Erin L (02/26/2015)
"And she fell in love with him... somehow..." - Erin L (02/26/2015)
oscar, their winny dog
"Yeah, if you've played wii sports..." "Or real tennis." - Janny M & Erin L (02/26/2015)
how you would know what a love is
"I think it's hair stubble." - Erin L (02/26/2015)
"Erin went with a common name like Erin?" "Yeah. Best name ever." - Brian C & Erin L (01/27/2015)
"Why is the bottom shaved?" - Erin L (01/27/2015)
bears picture of a butt
"I thought the game was obsessed with killing pillows." - Erin L (01/27/2015)
"No. We're not vaccinating... I can't even say that with a straight face." - Erin L (12/16/2014)
i asked her if ella was up to date on her shots; erin joked
"Oh yeah cause people are stupid." - Erin L (11/18/2014)
"Everybody wants to eat dinner like right now... but no pressure." - Erin L (11/18/2014)
telling bear
"I would never go to trial... I'd get away with it." - Erin L (11/18/2014) 
if erin were to murder bear
"Well around here, you never know." - Erin L (10/18/2014)
our waiter spilled some plates so we weren't sure how we should stack our stuff
"Ugh, you're worse than me and I have a reason." - Erin L (09/11/2014)
bear was in the bathroom too long
"That's a fact, right?" - Erin L (09/11/2014)
"Seriously? Who are you playing for?" - Erin L (09/11/2014)
bear helped erin's mom on words with friends & gave her a triple word score
"Sorry. I get antsy." - Erin L (07/28/2014)
"It has zero stars so maybe we should stay away." - Erin L (07/03/2014)
trying to choose a place to eat
"Maybe you guys shouldn't go over there. There are different noises so I don't know what's going on." - Erin L (07/03/2014)
bear was taking a shower or something
"I'm giving facts to help you understand the cards." - Erin L (07/03/2014)
"But they wouldn't have to research that." - Erin L (07/03/2014)
the mexican's; researching a zesty breakfast burrito
"The question should have been 'Mommy, why is Daddy lying in a pool of blood right now'." - Erin L (07/03/2014)
"Bear. Look what you're doing. You're ruining my life." - Erin L (07/03/2014)
"I didn't realize how horrendous this would be." - Erin L (07/03/2014)
being pregnant
"I'll do a fantastic job of hiding the body. No one will ever know." - Erin L (07/03/2014)
talking about bear
"He's like my slave which is probably not a good thing to say since he's the only black person in the office." - Erin L (06/19/2014)
her personal assistant
"What? Like go to the drunk tank?" - Erin L (06/19/2014)
"She likes kids now, remember?" - Erin L (05/23/2014)
her sister
"Bear, you call someone up and he comes and brings it to you." - Erin L (05/10/2014)
"Oh, honey, that's not a good joke." - Erin L (05/10/2014)
bear was joking about bangcock
"You would be a live dork." - Erin L (05/10/2014)
my reflector jacket riding the scooter in the dark
"You can't really see into anyone's apartment..." - Erin L (05/10/2014)
from their pourch
"Also the greatest inspiration for the greatest poem." "What? Saw dust?" - Bear M & Erin L (05/10/2014)
we were talking about ravens
"The zen garden where they left out all the zen..." - Erin L (05/10/2014)
"Teachers can't handle feeding kids apples. How can they handle arms?" - Erin L (05/10/2014)
"I'd probably just steal money and get on the plane legit." - Erin L (04/21/2014)
the 16 year old who stowed away on the hawaii flight
"Everything she says ends in a question mark." - Erin L (04/21/2014)
one of her sister's
"A mythical animal that flies." "Easter bunny..." - Bear M & Erin L (04/21/2014)
"Don't F it up." - Erin L (04/21/2014)
"Yes but you already know that. It's not like a surprise when it happens." - Erin L (04/21/2014)
bear gets road rage
"I like to make fun of them for their reasoning skills... and their outfits." - Erin L (03/30/2014)
on house hunters
"We could sit here and watch bears all day." - Erin L (03/30/2014)
"Everybody loves cats. And if you don't love cats, you deserve to die." - Erin L (03/30/2014)
"When I was twenty four..." "So last year?" - Bear M & Erin L (03/30/2014)
he wasn't 24 last year
"And it's not going to kill me... that's what I've heard." - Erin L (03/29/2014)
having a baby
"We haven't decided if we're going to follow it." - Erin L (03/01/2014)
their no grilling rule in their new apartment
"So we tried to get day laborers and my Spanish isn't what it used to be..." - Erin L (03/01/2014)
"It's called a bear scare so we clearly had to buy it." - Erin L (03/01/2014)
"She almost died which is really funny because she didn't." - Erin L (03/01/2014)
"In the court of laws..." - Erin L (03/01/2014)
entrapment is illegal
"I'm eighty percent sure I'm doing this correctly... As I screw in the final screws..." - Erin L (03/01/2014)
she didn't do it correctly :(
"It's just a really big life decision." - Erin L (03/01/2014)
how to layout their livingroom
"It was really magical." - Erin L (02/01/2014)
she was telling a story
"If I could do whatever I wanted with my life, I'd have a hundred cats." - Erin L (02/01/2014)
"Maybe two hundred." "Maybe? All well..." - Bear M & Erin L (02/01/2014)
how much their couch weighs
"Couldn't they just get a house... cause it's Fredrick..." - Erin L (02/01/2014)
"Kids can go in closets. I read an article." - Erin L (02/01/2014)
"Rani, again, had to go see strippers..." - Erin L (12/20/2013)
"We could mix it with vinegar." - Erin L (12/20/2013)
the vodka they had; they didn't have anything to mix it with
"Salt does something magical to it." - Erin L (12/20/2013)
"T J Max, my ass." - Erin L (12/20/2013)
people walking in the road
"Are you allowed to pass these buses?" "I don't know. I was just debating that." - Janny M & Erin L (10/26/2013)
"The rest have become like modern society." - Erin L (10/26/2013)
how virginia is a weird state but the rest are normal
"If my kid's like that I'll drown it." - Erin L (10/26/2013)
a neighbor's kid was really bad & screamy
"It's just a really bad wardrobe combo." - Erin L (10/26/2013)
"He's doing what all men do." "What? Jerk off? It's not a really great time." - Brian C & Erin L (10/26/2013)
why bear was taking so long
"Actually is that a boot?" "What? The costume?" - Bear M & Erin L (10/26/2013)
"I had it all figured out. They weren't going to die." - Erin L (10/26/2013)
what she did to her sisters when she was younger
"I was not trained in hair dressing..." - Erin L (10/26/2013)
she cut her sister's hair when she was a kid
"It's not a picture of me, is it?" - Erin L (10/04/2013)
"I didn't want it gooing everything up." - Erin L (10/04/2013)
water from our beers
"You should get negative points for that." - Erin L (10/04/2013)
b's shot
"Erin, how is it that I did better than you?" "I don't know... It's not fair." - Janny M & Erin L (10/04/2013)
"Guess who the biggest investor is?" "Microsoft." - Brian C & Erin L (10/04/2013)
not sure why she said microsoft
"He's uneducated." "Na uh, he's a republican." - Bear M & Erin L (10/04/2013)
"I throw pennies away." - Erin L (08/31/2013)
"Did you bit him back?" "No. He's dirty." - Brian C & Erin L (07/19/2013)
oscar bit her
"Yes, it's delectable." - Erin L (07/19/2013)
ihop!
"No. Nobody likes that." - Erin L (07/19/2013)
reading instructions to play a game
"This is so complicated. What the hell?" - Erin L (07/19/2013)
putting a box back on
"What is this? A weapon?" - Erin L (07/19/2013) (pic)
"You can pick me up at the corner. Like a hooker." - Erin L (05/15/2013)
"Lucifur will bite you when you pet him." - Erin L (05/15/2013)
"I faked a lot of documents in my day..." - Erin L (05/15/2013)
"This was one of the worst things I've done while in law school." - Erin L (05/15/2013)
"He likes to sleep on pizza boxes." - Erin L (05/15/2013)
lucifur
"Every time I see one I'm like 'ou, someone died... oh nevermind'." - Erin L (05/15/2013)
a pt cruiser (since they look like herses)
"He looks like some really weird porn star." - Erin L (05/15/2013)
their dog, oscar
"I could be a hero." - Erin L (03/09/2013)
if she opened the fire hydrant
"Actually I typed back 'meow'." - Erin L (03/09/2013)
fighting with her sister over text message
"Maybe they didn't put enough meat on their burritos?" - Erin L (03/09/2013)
our chipotle, some of the employees got mugged
"What? Really? Well I guess there was an iceberg..." - Erin L (03/09/2013)
people on the titanic died within minutes of entering the water
"I thought Tom Hanks' son was in it... Well that's why it sucked." - Erin L (03/09/2013)
tom hanks' son wasn't in it
"No, you're just a really bad pourer." - Erin L (03/09/2013)
brian spilled
"Business has an E." "Oh. Mine didn't have an E." - Janny M & Erin L (03/09/2013)
"Cause we're snuggling..." "Not because I don't." - Erin L & Bear M (03/09/2013)
"We're over here like on a throne." - Erin L (03/03/2013)
"I can't hang here for two years..." - Erin L (03/03/2013)
she was applying for teach america or something
"You know you don't have the balls for that." "Yes, I do." - Bear M & Erin L (03/03/2013)
to stay in a haunted hotel
"I didn't. And I was cool anyways." - Erin L (03/03/2013)
play video games when she was a kid
"I wish forever that I never saw it." - Erin L (03/03/2013)
a dude from her highschool's butt
"What if their kid sells it for cocane money?" - Erin L (12/15/2012)
sell a farrarri... that's a lot of cocane
"It's listed on the internet so it must be good." - Erin L (12/15/2012)
the restaurant we tried for dinner
"Look! It's purple lights... Sorry that trumps everything." - Erin L (12/15/2012)
one of us was in the middle of talking
"Is that somebody's phone? ...No, it's the song." - Erin L (12/15/2012)
"I'm just saying... they don't shave... anything..." - Erin L (12/15/2012)
"No. It has to be real." - Erin L (12/15/2012)
if someone were to restore a delorian for BTTF
"Ah! You're touching it!" - Erin L (12/15/2012)
erin thought a screw was a bug
"He's gonna have so much fun because it's the beach." "He's not because it's winter." - Erin L & Bear M (12/15/2012)
oscar, their dog
"No, Brian. No more T Vs." - Erin L (09/16/2012)
they have three
"Why don't they just hide somewhere and shoot him with a gun at a distance?" - Erin L (09/16/2012)
liam neeson movies
"What? Not kittens! I hate him!" - Erin L (09/16/2012)
what michael vick did
"He's doing weird hopping." - Erin L (09/16/2012)
"I wanna see guys playing in bras and panties." - Erin L (09/16/2012)
me too!
"People are not putting that much effort into their drawings." - Erin L (06/30/2012)
"Why don't they just set up a camera?" - Erin L (06/30/2012)
bri was saying how photographers wait for days for pics of bugs
"I only know because I looked it up." - Erin L (06/30/2012)
their anniversary
"I would like eat the nachos but I would leave his chicken." - Erin L (06/30/2012)
our friends went mia when the food came
"I was like 'they're always in different locations'. And Brian was like 'well it is the Travel Channel'." - Erin L (06/30/2012)
"Is he really a friend?" - Erin L (06/30/2012)
b's friend got married & b didn't know
"Think about how easy it would be for me to get on my scooter, scooter to work..." - Erin L (06/30/2012)
"It's really sad when the super rich can't afford things..." - Erin L (06/30/2012)
"Think about all the things you do in the car that you'd use the extra hand for." - Erin L (06/30/2012)
"I'm not an a*shole. I'm a person." - Erin L (06/30/2012)
"Do I want to hear this?" "It's not sexual." "I don't wanna hear this..." - Bear M & Erin L & Brian C (06/30/2012)
"There was nothing funny about my rejection letters..." - Erin L (06/30/2012)
she applied to harvard
"What do you do in the bathroom, Brian?" - Erin L (06/30/2012)
"I'm just not in the mood to be friendly right now." - Erin L (06/30/2012)
walking over to a neighbors party
"Can you give him something to lick?" "That's what she said." - Erin L & Janny M (06/30/2012)
"How old is he?" "Brian?" - Janny M & Erin L (06/16/2012)
their new dog
"An ice cube? Really?" "It was sharp." - Bear M & Erin L (06/16/2012)
she stepped on an ice cube and hurt herself
"I'm done tasting." - Erin L (06/16/2012)
she didn't taste but she wanted more
"Glass wall... Why are we surprised? Glass wall..." - Erin L (06/16/2012)
"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard." "That's probably the smartest thing I've ever said." - Erin L & Bear M (06/16/2012)
"I'm going to make you a spreadsheet this next election." - Erin L (06/16/2012)
who to vote for for b
"Can I be the God of being mean?" - Erin L (06/16/2012)
creating our own religion
"When you have four glasses of wine..." - Erin L (06/16/2012)
you can't read much, she was toasted
"A normal person would think, 'f**k, our apartment's on fire!'." - Erin L (06/16/2012)
their old roommate made the oven smoke and didn't do anything
"Like real people?" - Erin L (06/16/2012)
"I know the story." - Erin L (06/16/2012)
she forgot it
"This thing is built for accidents." - Erin L (06/16/2012)
toyotas, diss
"Apparently I have..." - Erin L (06/16/2012)
saw steve bucshemi sex on boardwalk empire
"It's not tempura." "I don't care what you think." - Bear M & Erin L (05/28/2012)
"I don't feed him." - Erin L (05/28/2012)
b ate a lot
"Saw dust..." - Erin L (05/28/2012)
they were telling us the five things they both hate & erin whispered saw dust
"I've seen kids on noodles." - Erin L (05/28/2012)
just sounded funny
"This can't be right..." - Erin L (05/28/2012)
scribblish
"Those lines are penises." - Erin L (05/28/2012)
"She seemed nice." "Yeah, she did..." - Janny M & Erin L (05/24/2012)
her old roommate
"I'll take this out and maybe you'll get hungry looking at it." - Erin L (04/21/2012)
the german chocolate cake for b's birthday
"Do you guys wanna offer the next table over birthday cake... Would that be weird?" - Erin L (04/21/2012)
"But we're in the game, how do we end the game?" "Uh, 'End Game'." - Erin L & Bear M (04/21/2012)
there was an end game button
"It doesn't matter what I do anymore cause we already won." - Erin L (04/21/2012)
"Oh no. I loved that butter dish!" - Erin L (04/21/2012)
their butter dish broke
"You're like old, you don't have a lot of s**t." - Erin L (04/21/2012)
old people who do nothing but cruise
"Does he think it's a black person thing because it was invented by a white person." - Erin L (04/21/2012)
"I don't know if garlic rots..." - Erin L (04/03/2012)
"We're done with white people. We're over them." - Erin L (04/03/2012)
"Friend saved!" - Erin L (04/03/2012)
she had to fire her friend but then they did it for her
"Actually I'll make the story longer since it'll be more fun." - Erin L (04/03/2012)
lol
"Ugh. I would eat them bad." - Erin L (04/03/2012)
"There's nothing in that Bailey's bottle." "I know. It looks good though." - Erin L & Bear M (04/03/2012)
he put it on top of the fridge
"I don't like washed up actress's boobs." - Erin L (04/03/2012)
"He's so short that it looks childish." - Erin L (04/03/2012)
tom cruise in whity tightys
"The ten republicans who show up to vote." - Erin L (04/03/2012)
in the dc primary
"Wanna fact check it?" - Erin L (02/10/2012)
the game we were playing, we could have swore there were errors
"Blood can be infectious." - Erin L (02/10/2012)
"It was going faster before. I Don't know why." "We were drunk." - Erin L & Bear M (02/10/2012)
the 7 deadly sins game
"Are you color blind?" - Erin L (02/10/2012)
bri picked up green instead of yellow
"Bear, it doesn't matter if you see the answers. You're reading the question." - Erin L (02/10/2012)
lol
"Why are there like whores in the background of this?" - Erin L (02/10/2012)
they were cheerleaders
"You could go with a pickle." - Erin L (02/10/2012)
choosing vegetables to do strange things with
"Is this a noise complaint? Well no. We're the only ones complaining..." - Erin L (02/10/2012)
if it was noisy near a police station
"Reported... You don't tell anybody." - Erin L (02/10/2012)
cases of ghonorea a year
"I don't know. I thought her boobs were pretty nice." - Erin L (02/10/2012)
i forgot who we were talking about
"B likes to pay as much as possible for things." - Erin L (02/10/2012)
"I wish they were hoarders." - Erin L (01/13/2012)
her old roommates
"It's laced. It's not really helpful." - Erin L (10/28/2011)
she was cold and her halloween costume wasn't warm
"We don't like them. We're just nice." - Erin L (10/28/2011)
she invited some people to the party she didn't like too much
"We might be liberal but we're not hippies." - Erin L (10/28/2011)
"I can't stop touching that." "That's what she said." - Erin L & Janny M (10/28/2011)
part of someone's halloween costume
"I'm too drunk to censor any of this..." - Erin L (10/28/2011)
the goings on at her wedding, funny stories
"He doesn't actually murder people." - Erin L (10/28/2011)
her dad
"If there was a beer called Lawless beer, I'd drink that all the time." - Erin L (10/23/2011)
"I think she wants to be weird." - Erin L (10/23/2011)
"I wish there was a team called the Bears." - Erin L (10/23/2011)
uh there is
"Who does that for one dollar? Maybe a twenty or a fifty..." - Erin L (10/16/2011)
the commercial where the dude finds the dollar
"She looks like a tramp." - Erin L (10/16/2011)
a redskins cheerleader
"I know a bloody Jesus attached to the cross seems appealing but..." - Erin L (10/16/2011)
nfl players should have advice on their tatoos
"Eww. That guy needs a comb." - Erin L (10/16/2011)
messy hair in the nfl?
"He ends up smelling like an African American woman." - Erin L (08/29/2011)
the perfume they got frankie
"Is the electricity out?" "Yeah, Erin cause the T V is on and the electricity is out." - Erin L & Bear M (08/28/2011)
"I can't believe you were praising this pizza." "It's not normally what it tastes like." - Dana G & Erin L (08/28/2011)
"I don't skim... I kinda just swim around bugs and stuff." - Erin L (08/28/2011)
"I'm getting bored out here." - Erin L (08/28/2011)
we were changing while she was in the pool
"I don't wanna waste time." "Yeah cause there's so much to do around here." - Erin L & Dana G (08/28/2011)
the electricity was out
"It was harder to get beer than it was to get married." - Erin L (08/26/2011)
"How does a person not have black pants?" - Erin L (08/26/2011)
"I think it's too wintery." - Erin L (08/26/2011)
"That looks really ghetto." - Erin L (08/06/2011) (pic)
"People will be like 'are you selling the dog?'." "And I will say 'yes'." - Bear M & Erin L (08/06/2011)
"No pressure. Just don't be wrong." - Erin L (07/22/2011)
on trivial persuit
"Only America has T V. Let's do T V." - Erin L (07/22/2011)
really? Only america has tv?
"What? Everything is in India in this stupid game!" - Erin L (07/22/2011)
it's true, a lot of the answers were in india
"Try not to get any right, okay?" - Erin L (07/22/2011)
the other team, we kept losing
"As long as it's a white T V show we're good." - Erin L (07/22/2011)
"Oh snap." - Erin L (07/22/2011)
the way she said it
"Okay, now we have harpoons we're shooting." "It worked in Moby Dick." - Brian C & Erin L (07/22/2011)
"Yeah, wasn't that guy not a millionaire?" - Erin L (07/03/2011)
"So you are friends... You're just further away." - Erin L (07/03/2011)
settlements in catan
"What's an R? Oh, that's a K... King..." - Erin L (07/03/2011)
"You may have the keys, but I have the title." - Erin L (07/03/2011)
to their car
"Tell me what to do and I'll learn by that." - Erin L (07/03/2011)
"That's not too much for like a murder..." - Erin L (06/03/2011)
getting $300 for killing someone
"Cause they already have herpes so..." - Erin L (06/03/2011)
dating sites for people who already have stds
"Girls go first... it's in the rules." - Erin L (06/03/2011)
playing battle of the sexes
"We don't do too much water stuff around here..." - Erin L (06/03/2011)
"It's like maybe once a week there's one smelly person." - Erin L (04/08/2011)
riding metro
"Is it fancy pants or something?" - Erin L (04/08/2011)
"I'm not like directionally sound." - Erin L (04/08/2011)
i was pointing in the direction of the yogi berry
"I was just checking." "I was just mocking." - Erin L & Bear M (04/08/2011)
"Imagine if I really knew how to play my first few turns." - Erin L (04/08/2011)
she won, beginners luck
"Don't be so bitter." - Erin L (04/08/2011)
brian lost
"Brian says not okay..." - Erin L (03/10/2011)
to watching pride & prejudice
"Brian yells at me because it changes it in some magical way." - Erin L (03/10/2011)
if she turns off the tv from a different remote
"He calls me retarded but I know it's hard." - Erin L (03/10/2011)
turning on the tv
"Yay, I'm going to play the boy who gets raped next week!" - Erin L (03/10/2011)
what it must be like for kids on svu
"It's fat free, right?" "I don't know about that..." - Brian C & Erin L (03/10/2011)
the ice cream & brownies we had
"So there's crystals in our screen?" - Erin L (03/10/2011)
their tv
"Sometimes you get more bees with honey." - Erin L (03/10/2011)
"It's like a process walking for her..." - Erin L (03/10/2011)
her grandma
"What? For that stupid show? Two men and a child?" - Erin L (02/05/2011)
what charlie sheen is getting paid
"As long as you use it to our advantage." - Erin L (02/05/2011)
how brian can whore himself
"I'm not a good picture taker." - Erin L (02/05/2011)
"You can't even taste the cabbage." - Erin L (01/07/2011)
they put cabbage on her pizza
"Now you're doing good." - Erin L (01/07/2011)
now that b's not on her team
"You'd think that I've been drinking all night." - Erin L (01/07/2011)
the way she plays pool
"What was he dealing?" "Child prostitutes?" "I know, right?" - Erin L & Janny M (01/07/2011)
one of bri's stories
"I'm texting another picture of this guy..." - Erin L (01/07/2011)
she was taking pictures of this dude and texting them
"But one was like servicing the other..." "Not in that way..." - Erin L & Bear M (01/07/2011)
"I think it'd be way more fun if we don't tell her." - Erin L (12/18/2010)
her sister thinks the USPS is government employees
"No, she's wrong often." - Erin L (12/18/2010)
her sister
"They'll let anything in the Oxford English Dictionary now a days." - Erin L (12/18/2010)
"I like hope for her to die soon..." "Merry Christmas..." - Erin L & Bear M (12/11/2010)
"So I was imagining a bus hitting her all day..." - Erin L (12/11/2010)
the funny thing was, this girl she was imagining actually died
"She was only like forty years old so she wasn't like dying age..." - Erin L (12/11/2010)
"I think they're dumb but I bought a bunch of glasses..." - Erin L (12/11/2010)
weird glasses that no one would buy
"Put him in the cat prison." - Erin L (12/11/2010)
their crazy dog, frankie
"Okay, public service announcement..." - Erin L (12/11/2010)
she had to say something